Chapter 35

All this time they could've been together was destroyed based on a lie, a fabrication.

Vallea should've been irate and beat the hell out of him for putting her through so much hell, but all she felt was relief. Whatever he had done that night, if he was involved with Ryan and Nick, didn't matter to her because they were dead and they couldn't be brought back. The deed was done.

"And the truth shall set you free." She murmured, clasping her hands together and didn't bother wiping the tears away. "I'm not going to ask what happened that night. I know you won't tell me anyway and I'm fine with it. I can live with you keeping that secret from me. At least I know you're not as big of a scumbag as I thought, but you're still an asshole for lying to me about cheating on me. Thank you for finally telling me the truth."

"There's a reason for the lie, Val." Jon said darkly, a hint of warning in his tone. And if anyone else asked, he would go right back to telling it. "There was always a reason for it." Drake had come to him, once, a little fucked up and laid out his suspicions and asked a lot of questions. Jon had lied through his teeth then too. "And I AM an asshole." He knew it and accepted it. Hell, she wasn't part of the WWE, not even as a liaison, anymore, there was no reason to keep lying to her. It wasn't like she was going to tell anyone.

"Yeah, I know there is." Her voice had dropped to a monotone, feeling both relieved and dead inside because she had no idea what came next.

She had no idea if Jon even felt the same way about her anymore. Granted, he admitted he never stopped loving her, but a person could love someone and not want to be with them. There were different types of love in the world. Vallea didn't know what else to say to him, so she walked back into her room, wiping her tears away angrily. She told him she was leaving and she meant it, her bag already packed up. Now that she had the truth, she had no idea what to do with it or how to fix what had been shattered.

Had the truth brought her any relief? Anything at all? What had it changed? Nothing. She had uprooted and destroyed her own life because she couldn't deal with a lie, and now…what was going to drive that now? Jon knew better than most, anger fueled a person quite a bit. When the root cause of that anger had been dealt with it left a person cold and wondering what came next.

"Do you even feel better?" He asked, leaning in her doorway. "Or does it leave you hollow?"

"I feel relieved knowing you never cheated on me."

Maybe she did feel hollow inside and it was his fault she did. This was all his fault – her uprooting her life and leaving Vegas because she couldn't stand being in the same city as him. In a way, Vallea hated him for lying to her and destroying their relationship. Vallea also loved him unconditionally, irrevocably, insanely…she was in love with him and had fallen for him the moment their eyes met on that mountain. Her world had completely changed the day she met Jonathan Good and no other man compared.

No man ever would either.

He hadn't made her do a damn thing. That was all on her. Jon knew where his fuck-ups lay and he accepted the consequences. "You always knew I never cheated." He said quietly. "What do you think happened that night, Vallea?" He wasn't trying to tell her the truth, but he was also genuinely curious about what exactly she thought. There were too many coincidences and a lot of them led to him.

She was a highly intelligent woman, he knew it was only time before she pieced it.

"Does it matter?" Vallea looked back at him, having come to her own conclusion about that night long ago. The talk with Drake cemented the fact that Jon knew Nick was in town prior to Madonna's Bar. "You really want me to tell you what I think?" At his nod, she sighed out shakily and dropped her bag on the floor, turning to fully face him. "You were with them that night. That's what you're hiding and what you've kept bottled up inside. You…watched them both die, fall into that vat of acid. What I think happened is your friend was in cahoots with Ryan. It was a deal that fell through and they both took the other out…and you couldn't save either of them. I also think you knew Nick was in Cincinnati that night for the deal between him and Ryan to go down, and you tried stopping it, but you couldn't in time. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and with no other witnesses, you would go down as suspect number one if the cops ever found out you were there that night with them." She searched his face, knowing she was either close or had nailed it. "Am I warm?"

Jon was STUNNED, she had just…he probably looked like he had taken a hit because he could feel the blood draining from his face. He hadn't realized just how highly Vallea thought of him and that actually made him feel like the lowest of low. She thought he had gone there to stop a deal gone sour. She thought he had tried to save them. She couldn't have been further from the truth.

"Lukewarm." He rasped, feeling like something was caught in his throat.

"Like I said, I know you were there, but I don't know why, and I'm not gonna ask." Lukewarm, what did that mean? Her curiosity was burning fiercely, but Vallea would stick to her word. If Jon ever wanted to tell her, she would be ready to listen. She didn't know if that time would ever come, though. "I don't care what happened that night, Jon. They're dead and there's no bringing them back. How they died was horrific, but…what's done is done. And I swear to you, I'm not gonna say anything to anyone about it."

Vallea could've gone to the cops a long time ago with her theory about that night, but she didn't because she didn't want Jon locked away behind bars. No matter how much he hurt her with lying and broke her heart, she still wanted to protect him. Reaching up, since she'd moved toward him while giving her thoughts about that night, Vallea cupped his face with her soft hand and felt him tense up. She didn't pull away and slid her fingers down his cheek to where his beard began, her eyes locked with his.

"Whatever happened that night, whatever went down, you have to forgive yourself and move on."

"I don't need forgiveness, babe." Because Jon still very firmly believed that Ryan deserved what had happened to him. Nicky, well…he had grieved and moved on. "Not…for whatever it is you're thinking."

Lowering himself to his knees, Jon wrapped his arms around her thighs. He could feel Vallea tensing and ignored it, resting his head against her. His entire body was trembling, he hadn't held her like this in a very long time. Vallea hadn't expected this type of reaction from him and the way he trembled broke her heart all over again. She slid her hand over his head in a gentle caress, refusing to push him away. Whatever kind of comfort she could give Jon at the moment, Vallea would do it without question or hesitation. Slowly, her body began to relax against him while he held her, his face now buried in her stomach, which both felt amazing and tickled, thanks to his beard. Even through the material of her tank top, she could feel the heat from his breath puff against her skin and closed her eyes, her other hand massaging his right trapezoid.

He had begged, well maybe not begged, but asked for her to come back to him. At the time, he wouldn't have been able to tell her the truth even if he wanted to. Not with where they both had worked, not with everything so fresh. He needed the alibi, and if she had gotten an honest streak, the story she thought of what had gone down would have not been viewed at all that way by the cops. He hadn't wanted to lose her and he had lost her anyway.

"I still love you, Val." He mumbled into her top.

Her eyes remained shut, squeezing slightly at his confession and a whole new slew of emotions rushed through her. Vallea went back to the night he drunk-dialed her and confessed the same thing. He still loved her. That phone call had haunted her because she had no idea what to do about it. At the time, she was still under the belief Jon had cheated on her, even though deep in her heart she knew it was a lie. And she had jumped into bed with his rival, his nemesis, like a bitch in heat all to try to forget the pain Jon inflicted on her. That was a secret she would take to the grave – Jon could NEVER find out who she was with that night.

"You already know I never stopped loving you, Jon." If he didn't, the man was blind, deaf or both.

Both, he was both. "Could've fooled me."

Jon still wasn't moving his head away, though he was smiling. She had moved state, abandoned her friends, quit her dream job, or so he thought it was, because she hadn't wanted any memories or reminders of him. If that wasn't a lack of love, he wasn't sure what was. Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was probably only minutes, he tipped his head back to look up at her, not entirely sure what he was seeing in her face.

"What now, Val?"

It was because of her love, her feelings, she couldn't stay and be around him. No reminders, in her eyes, meant she could heal. The healing never started, however. She just found a job, after getting her house, and started working to keep herself occupied. Nights were spent alone and it gave her way too much time to think. Nights were her hell and they used to be her favorite time in a 24 hour period.

"I don't know." Her voice cracked from the intense emotions coursing through her, not pulling away from him. "You tell me." They had proven in the past they could make a relationship work long distance, hardly seeing each other, but at the time, she had been traveling and keeping busy. Now, Vallea had no idea if they could mend what was broken…what Jon broke between them.

Jon still went mountain climbing. He had never returned to Solar Slab, he could never return there, not without her. It hadn't felt right the one time he had tried to make that trip. He went climbing and every time he scaled to where he was going, he felt empty. Jon had gone back to the Red Rocks too, stared down at the spot she had slipped and remembered how he had climbed down to rescue her. That had been the start of the end, or so it had felt. Now, now he felt something very akin to hope fluttering in his chest. He hated that feeling. Jon had felt it when he was a small boy, that feeling that maybe something was going to come through, only for it to be crushed when inevitably the good never came.

"Come back to me."

God help her, she wanted to. She wanted to be with him more than anything in the world, in the universe, in all the galaxies. However, Vallea wouldn't let him get off that easily and just fall back into his arms, pretending nothing happened. Jon had lied to her and destroyed their relationship all to cover up whatever he was hiding from her, from everyone.

"One condition." Slowly, she lowered herself to be eye-level with him and cupped his bearded face in her hands, fresh tears forming in her eyes. "No more lying. I don't care what you do or how bad it is, you CAN'T lie to me again. I-I can't feel this way again, Jon. This nearly killed me." It changed her for the worst too. "If you EVER lie to me again, you WILL lose me permanently. I won't be with someone I can't trust. You have no reason to lie to me because nothing you say or do will stop me from loving you or make me fall out of love with you. It's never going to happen." She rested her forehead against his, hot tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. "No more lies – that's the only way we can mend this and get back to us."

"Deal."

Jon began kissing away those tears, hurting more than words could convey because he knew just how badly he hurt her. He knew because he had felt the same. Joy was gone. Happiness, the happiness of others had left him bitter, angry, and depressed. He moved his thumbs to catch her tears when they didn't stop falling, returning his head to rest against hers.

"I won't lie Val…never again." He might have to learn how to say: 'don't ask because I can't tell', but he would never lie again.

Doing the one thing she only dreamt of for the past year, ever since their split, Vallea kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. They were both on their knees, so Jon was still a lot taller than her and had to bend in order to be at her level. Instantly, the pieces of her mangled, shattered heart began to piece back together again and, even as she began losing oxygen, the kiss didn't break. Jon held her tightly against him, returning the kiss with equal passion and fire, the connection between them never-ending. It had never truly vanished, always there hiding in the shadows. Finally, the kiss broke mutually between them and Vallea hugged him tightly around the neck, closing her eyes to breathe him in, relishing this moment for as long as possible.

There were so many things they needed to talk about, to sort out. How was this going to work? Obviously, she couldn't take over her old job, that position had been filled a long time ago. She lived in Arizona, he would come here to her. Jon had to take a moment, his face buried in her hair. He was already mentally rushing things, knowing he couldn't do that. Too much had happened for him to just think she was going to swan dive right back into things how they had been. If things could ever be like that again…that would take time.

Once again, she beat him to the punch and pulled back to stare into his gorgeous pale blues, sliding the pad of her thumb along his bottom lip. "I miss Vegas. Take me home, Jon."

Vallea didn't want to spend another day in Phoenix, Arizona, willing to leave it all behind her and go back to where they were happy. The mountains, the Red Rocks, the valleys and City of Lights. Her house was very small, quaint and not her style at all, hardly filled with anything because Vallea didn't have that much stuff to begin with. She would absolutely swan dive back into this with him because he'd never cheated on her and he finally admitted the truth. There were plenty of jobs in Vegas. Everyone was always hiring and something told Vallea, if she went back to the agency, they would welcome her back with open arms. Her boss had even told her so when she left to pursue the liaison job since it'd been on great terms, even giving them notice.

The house in Phoenix could burn for all she cared; this wasn't her true home.

Vegas always would be.

"Gladly, doll." Laughing, he scooped her up into his arms bridal style, turning in slow circles. Jon felt like a million bucks, no more effects from the concussion, and the doctors had cleared him. This was icing on his cake. This was the cake. This was everything. Maybe she'd move in with him since they were just diving right back in. "Live with me."