Okay, next episode is "Twin Trouble"! Finished this one just after uploading the last chapter! I love being ahead of schedule!
So, my thoughts here? Not many. It's a pretty good episode. I wish Billy and Jilly were featured in more episodes, they're interesting characters. Also, I wish the song in this one was longer because it sounds nice. In fact, I wish there were extended versions of all the songs in this show, or better yet, soundtrack versions without the sound effects. Does anyone know if those exist? If not, maybe someone could make them? Just a thought.
Also, I'm not sure if that "chapter disappearing" glitch is still going on. Last time I checked, the most recent uploads are visible, but that could change at a moment's notice. If it does happen again with this one, just be patient. It'll probably come back up on its own.
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: Muahahahahahaaaa!
Molly: Can't believe you're all mine
Fatso: Uh, what?
Molly: You and me for all time
Stretch: No way!
Molly: I'm never, ever, EVER gonna be alone again
Stinkie: This stinks!
Molly: It's just you three and me
Fatso: For all eternity?!
Molly: For all ETERNITY!
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: NOOOO!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: It's the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Fatso: We've been cursed!
Stinkie: It's the worst!
Molly: Now you're stuck with me
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're never gonna be apart
Stretch: Is there a way to hit 'restart'?
Molly: Nope!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Molly: That's me!
Stinkie: Well, that's she. Hee, hee, hee!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
Fatso: Oh yeah!
Chapter 26
Twin and Bear It
"WHAT?!" Sharon screamed after Pete had told her the news. "Tell me it's not true!"
"It's true." he informed her.
"No, no, no, no! This can't be happening!" Sharon paced back and forth worriedly.
"Sharon, honey, calm down. We'll get through it together." Pete reassured her.
Sharon grabbed her husband by the collar. "Pete, I love you…but I don't know if we're strong enough to handle something like…this!"
"Like what?"
Sharon and Pete noticed Molly, Darryl, and the Ghostly Trio coming down the stairs, having heard their discussion.
"Mom? Dad? What's going on?" Molly inquired.
Sharon took a breath. "Kids? There's no other way to tell you this…I'm afraid…the twins are coming!"
Instead of frightened reactions like Sharon expected, Molly and Darryl became excited.
"Uncle Billy and Aunt Jilly?" Molly anticipated.
"Aw man, we haven't seen them in forever!" Darryl recalled.
"That's great news!" Molly added. "Why'd you say it like it was a bad thing?"
"Obviously, 'cause it is a bad thing!" Stretch butted in. "House guests are nothin' but pains in the neck! All they do is take up space, keep you up all night, and eat yer food without askin'!"
"Yeah," Stinkie agreed."We already have to deal with one Fatso! We don't need no more!"
Stinkie poked Fatso in the belly, making him squirm in discomfort.
"For once, Stretch is right." Sharon admitted.
"At least in the case of these particular house guests, because Billy and Jilly are big pains in the neck! Look!"
She took out a picture of Pete, Billy, and Jilly when they were kids. The photo depicted Pete being squished in between his older twin siblings' arms.
"They've been torturing your father ever since he was little!"
"Uh…do you just keep that around?" Pete questioned.
Sharon ignored him. "And every time they visit, he goes right back to being that scared, unconfident kid he was in Boston."
"As opposed to bein' the scared, unconfident adult he is in Brighton?" Stretch joked.
Pete took the picture from Sharon. "Well, that's not gonna happen this time. I'm a grown-up now. They can't pick on me anymore."
Fatso wrapped an arm around him. "Uh, Petey? As a fellow younger sibling, let me be the first to tell you: older siblings don't change no matter how grown-up ya are. You can be bigger than them and they'll still find a way to make ya feel small."
"C'mon Fatso, ya know that's not true." Stinkie claimed. "We don't make ya feel small."
"Yeah." Stretch chimed in. 'We can't, anyway. At yer size, it's practically impossible!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Stretch and Stinkie guffawed.
Fatso groaned, turning back to Pete. "Trust me. It only gets worse as time goes on."
Pete only grinned. "Well, I appreciate the concern, Fatso, but you know, not everyone's family is as ruthless as yours. I'm sure Billy and Jilly have mellowed out by now."
DING-DONG!
The family glanced over at the door upon hearing the signal of arrival. Pete opened it, and standing outside were two oversized red-heads wearing sports-themed outfits.
"Well, well, if it isn't Silly McGee?" the bearded one, Billy, greeted.
"What do ya know?" the other twin, Jilly, observed. "He's still that same little twig we grew up with."
Pete chuckled sheepishly. "Hi, Billy. Jilly. Nice to see you."
"Hey, Billy?" Jilly nudged Billy. "You hungry?"
Billy nodded. "Oh, I'm starvin', Jilly. In fact, right now I've got a real cravin' for…"
"A Silly Sandwich!" both twins cried.
Before Pete could run away, Billy and Jilly grabbed him and squeezed him with their huge arms, nearly crushing his ribs in the process.
"And let's not forget the side of…Silly Fries!"
The twins stuck their fingers in their mouths and then into Pete's ears, much to his disgust. Stretch chuckled.
"Hey, not bad!" he elbowed Stinkie. "We could learn a thing or two from these guys about bullyin' little brothers."
"I'll say!" Stinkie snickered. "Hey, Fatso? You hungry? You want a sandwich?"
Fatso drooled. "A sandwich? Yeah, sure! I can't say 'no' to that!"
"Okay then. How's about a nice patty melt? Or should I say…fatty melt?!"
Stretch took out a hairdryer and blew it toward Fatso, the heat causing him to melt into a puddle that landed on Molly's head.
"Hee, hee, hee! Good one!" Stinkie complimented.
Molly scraped off Fatso's runny body.
"You okay, big guy?"
"I've been better." Fatso responded. "And now I want an ice cream…"
Just then, Jilly came over and scooped up Molly and Darryl. Since Fatso was invisible to the twins, she didn't see him slip out of Molly's hands and onto the floor.
"Look at these little cuties!" she cried out. "They're growin' like weeds, ain't they Billy?"
"They sure are!" Billy nodded. "I haven't seen you kids in ages, what with yer old man movin' around so much." he punched Pete lightly in the arm, which still ended up hurting him. "Almost like he can't hold down a job or somethin'! Ha, ha, ha!"
Sharon gave her brother-in-law an annoyed glare. Pete, on the other hand, just laughed it off.
"Ha…yeah, that's funny. It's true, we have moved a lot." he slapped Billy on the back, nearly breaking his fingers by doing so. "But, we finally found a place to call home in the beautiful town of Brighton. So, how's about I show you to the spacious, and might I add, tastefully decorated guest room?"
Before Pete knew it, the twins had bombarded him with heavy luggage.
"Race ya!" Billy yelled to Jilly as the two sprinted upstairs, leaving Pete to deal with their bags.
Sharon groaned and pushed her struggling husband up the steps.
"Heh, heh…" Pete grunted. "Man, what do you carry in these things?"
"Wow…" Darryl said once he, Molly, and the Trio were by themselves. "They sure are…"
"Mean?" Molly finished. "Yeah, I was thinking that too."
"No. I was gonna say 'wicked awesome'!"
"Why wouldn't they be?" Stretch remarked. "They're just like us!"
"Yep! Charmin' and cruel!" Stinkie confirmed.
"Ya know, I take back what I said. I guess not all house guests are worth scarin' away."
"Aww…" Fatso whined. "But I've been practicin' a new scare technique! Check this out!" he twisted his neck multiple times, making his voice gravelly. "I learned it from some old 80's movie."
"Hey, not bad. But ya know what would make it better? Bulgin' eyes!" Stretch suggested.
"Here, let us help!"
Stinkie proceeded to grab Fatso's eyeballs and toss them.
"Hey!" Fatso was completely blind. "Who turned out the lights?"
With his brother distracted, Stretch took the opportunity to unravel the former's neck, sending him into a spin that made him crash into the wall. Stretch and Stinkie burst out laughing at this, while Molly helped the youngest ghost out.
"You know, sometimes you guys are charming and cruel and other times you're just cruel."
"Duh! That's what makes us so charmin'." Stretch insisted.
Molly shook her head and helped Fatso put his eyes back in. After that, she and the Trio went upstairs to the guest room to observe the twins.
"I must say, I'm glad you two are here." Pete said. "It gives us a chance to connect. We are all adults, after all, so that practically makes us equals."
"Yeah, equal parts skinny and puny." Billy chuckled while poking Pete in the chest and eyes.
"Ow! Quit poking me!" Pete demanded.
Jilly gave him a noogie. "Aw, there's the Silly McGee we knew as kids!"
Molly winced from the doorway. "Yeesh. They're really giving him a hard time, huh?"
"I told ya." Fatso replied. "Older siblings never change. They're jerks when you're a kid, jerks when you're an adult…they were practically born to be as jerkish as possible."
"Yep," Stretch concurred. "And younger siblings were born to be their punchin' bags. Observe." he punched Fatso in the stomach repeatedly.
"Ow! That hurt!" Fatso wailed.
Stinkie then wrapped his arm around Fatso's neck and noogied him.
"Hee, hee, hee! They make pretty good toys, too!"
Molly gave the older ghosts a disapproving stare, but chose not to comment as she heard her dad talking again.
"Well, there's no way you can call me 'silly' after you see the job I have here in Brighton."
The middle-aged father picked up a framed newspaper sitting on a desk. At the top was the headline: "Rising Star Pete McGee Becomes Brighton's Newest City Planner." Below it was a picture of Pete shaking hands with Mayor Brunson.
"Check it out!" Pete boasted. "That's me with the mayor. We're practically close friends."
"Ooh…" Jilly swiped the picture. "Didn't know we were among royalty."
Billy bowed slightly. "Well, don't look now, Your Royal Highness, but ya got mustard on your tie!"
"What?!" Pete took back the frame and realized his brother was right, as there was indeed a yellow stain on his tie in the photo. He turned red from embarrassment and the sound of his siblings' laughter only made him feel worse.
"Aw man…" he set the frame down and walked away solemnly.
"Don't sweat it, Silly. No one's even heard of Brighton anyway." Billy claimed.
Unbeknownst to the three, a tiny, big-eyed ghost had phased through Pete's photo. It immediately caught Molly's eye.
"Look, you guys!" she cooed. "A baby ghost! It's soooo cute!"
Stretch and Stinkie paused their torment of Fatso and shoved him into the wall to check out what Molly was talking about. When they saw the adorable little ghoul, they freaked out and hid behind Molly.
"That ain't no average house ghost, Moll!" Stretch panicked.
"Yeah," Stinkie gulped. "It's a…Sobgoblin!"
"A what now?" Molly raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"You know how ya love makin' other people feel happy?" Stretch explained. "Well, Sobgoblins love it when other people feel sad! They amplify sadness!"
Right after he said this, the Sobgoblin floated toward Pete and began dancing over his head. This resulted in a literal shadow falling over Pete and his sadness grew.
"They may look cute on the outside," Stinkie mentioned. "But they're real troublemakers."
"You mean like you?" Molly joked.
"Us? Cute?!" Stinkie snarled.
"Say that again!" Stretch threatened. "We dare ya!"
"C'mon, guys," Molly scoffed. "I think you're exaggerating. That little cutie-wootie couldn't hurt a-"
She gasped suddenly, as the Sobgoblin was now floating below her. It giggled and blinked its huge eyes at the tween.
"Uh…you guys?" Molly felt herself growing sadder. "Why do I suddenly feel bottomless despair?"
Stretch slapped her in the face before the Sobgoblin's powers could overtake her.
"Are you nuts? Never, ever look a Sobgoblin in the eye! We gotta get rid of that thing before…"
"Before what?" Molly worried.
Stretch tilted Molly's head toward the doorway. The twins were still laughing hysterically and the Sobgoblin had gone back to dancing over Pete's head. When suddenly…it split in two!
"That!" Stretch answered. "The more sadness there is, the more Sobgoblins multiply!"
Molly watched as her dad's sorrow worsened and his color became bleaker.
"And if you think that's bad, wait'll ya see 'em when they eat after midnight!" Stinkie stated.
"This is awful!" Molly declared. "If those things aren't stopped, they'll overrun the whole family! Boys, we've gotta get rid of those Sobgoblins!"
"That's what we've been sayin' this whole time!" Stretch spat.
Fatso sat up, still recovering from being smacked into the wall. He hadn't heard a single word from the others.
"Huh? Sayin' what? What's happenin'?"
"Nothin' that concerns you." Stretch sneered.
"Yeah, go play in the sandbox, junior." Stinkie teased. "Let the adults handle this."
With that, Stretch and Stinkie dragged Molly up to the attic, leaving Fatso behind.
"Hey!" he called. "I'm an adult too, ya know! And Molly's just a kid, so why does she get to help?"
There was no reply. Fatso sighed and slunk against the floor.
"It's not fair. I try to act mature and they still treat me like a baby. They'll never give me the respect I deserve…"
Just then, Fatso heard the sound of incoherent babbling. Turning his head, he noticed a Sobgoblin nuzzling its head against his side.
"Oh, hey little guy." he picked it up. "At least you understand how I'm feelin'."
The Sobgoblin giggled, prompting Fatso to stuff it in the folds of his body. He then sighed again, completely unaware that his skin was turning grayer.
Later, Billy and Jilly went down to the basement to play a game of foosball with Pete and Darryl.
"He shoots…he scores!" Billy cheered as he made another goal.
"Oh yeah!" Jilly high-fived her twin brother. "Bad news for Team Silly!"
"Why do you call Dad 'Silly'?" Darryl spoke up.
"'Cause his name don't rhyme like the rest of us McGees." Jilly informed him.
"Yep. Literally every one of us except him has a rhymin' name." Billy added. "Obviously, ya got me, Billy."
"And Jilly." Jilly pointed to herself. "Then you got the rest of our siblings."
Billy opened his wallet, showing several pictures of the rest of the McGee kids.
"There's Milly, Philly, Willy, Lilly, Tilly, Gilly, and Dilly."
"But Pete?" Jilly guffawed. "What were our parents thinking?! That's the silliest name ever!"
"Oh, so that's why you call him that?" Darryl clarified.
"That and the fact that one day he didn't wanna watch the Sox game." Billy recalled.
"Only because I had skating practice…" Pete grumbled.
"And choosing skating over a Sox game is just plain silly!" Jilly snickered.
"So, the name stuck!" Billy finished.
"Hahahahahaha!" the twins and Darryl laughed, sending Pete further into his depressed state. Sharon, who was doing laundry in the corner, was really starting to get annoyed now. Not just because the twins had continued to bully her husband, but because their bullying was negatively influencing her son as well.
"Cool!" Darryl exclaimed. "I want an '-illy' name, too!"
"Make sure you pick a good one then." Jilly advised.
"'Cause once ya got it, ya got it for life." Billy mentioned. "Right, Silly?"
Billy and Jilly laughed some more, and the Sobgoblins atop Pete's head began to multiply once again.
Meanwhile, up in the attic, Molly, Stretch, and Stinkie were trying to come up with a plan to get rid of the joy-sucking creatures once and for all.
"Okay, so how do we stop the Sobgoblins?" Molly asked.
"Well, they've been flyin' around yer dad for a while, so who knows how many there are now?" Stretch noted.
"Which means we'l need to lure 'em all to the same place." Stinkie concluded. "And the only way to attract a Sobgoblin is to be as sad as possible."
"I can do that!" Molly began fake crying. "Oh boo hoo! Woe is me! I'm sooo sad! If I'm not careful, I could fill this whole room with my tears!"
Stretch facepalmed. "Ya can't just act sad! Sobgoblins can sense if misery is legitimate or not. Ya gotta give 'em real tears!"
"Real tears, huh?" Molly scratched her chin "Hm…Stinkie, you got any onions?"
Stinkie held out one of the smelly vegetables. "Does a skunk dance before it sprays?"
"Wait…does it? I never knew that." Molly realized.
Stretch slapped the onion out of Stinkie's hand. "That won't work neither! The tears have to mean somethin'! As in, somethin' more than just 'my eyes are stinging.' We gotta get emotional here, people!"
Molly took a breath and sighed. "Well, desperate times call for desperate measures."
She kneeled down and opened a drawer underneath her bed. Inside was a blue-colored shoebox with the words "Do Not Open" printed on the lid.
"What the heck is that?" Stretch prodded.
"It's a box filled with things that make me sad." Molly explained. "I promised myself I would never open it."
"Why would you, the kid whose entire existence revolves around pure bliss, even have that in the first place?" Stretch interrogated.
Molly chose not to answer him. "It'll help bring the Sobgoblins to us, so that's all that matters right now. Also, we're gonna need some music to set the mood."
"I'm on it!"
Stinkie grabbed a stereo and pressed the play button. A happy-sounding song blasted out of the speakers.
"Whoops! Wrong mood!"
Stinkie hit the fast-forward button and a more melancholy tune played. Molly then opened up her "Box O' Sadness" and took out a poster. She unraveled it, revealing a picture of a cat with a laptop hanging off a tree branch. A caption at the top and bottom of the poster read "Hang in there…it's almost Friday." Just looking at the image was enough to get Molly's tear ducts working.
"Aww…just look at that poor little guy…" she whimpered, embracing Stretch and Stinkie. "He's doing his best to hang on, but who knows if he can make it to Friday? Isn't that just the saddest thing ever?"
"I mean…not really." Stretch answered bluntly. "It's kinda stupid if ya ask me. I mean, why does the cat even have a laptop? And why would he climb a tree with it?"
"Yeah, and furthermore, Friday is still a work day. So wouldn't he technically have to wait 'til Saturday?" Stinkie pointed out.
"Wait…so he has to wait a whole extra day?" Molly was really starting to cry now. "No, I can't stand it! He'll never make it…he'll never make it!"
Stretch shook his head. "Sheesh…this is so pathetic."
"Hey, whatever attracts those Sobgoblins, I say." Stinkie shrugged.
Sure enough, the sound of Molly's sobs soon summoned some of the Sobgoblins to the attic, four to be exact.
"Keep up those waterworks! They're here!" Stretch whooped.
"Really?" Molly brightened up. "Woohoo!"
As soon as Molly stopped crying, the Sobgoblins lost interest and prepared to leave.
"No, no, no!" Stretch pushed Molly's face toward the poster. "Focus on the cat, Moll! Think about how much it's strugglin'!"
Molly frowned. "Yeah, it is…"
"Don't look now, but I think it's little paws are slippin' too!" Stinkie warned.
"They are?" Molly sniveled.
"Poor little guy don't stand a chance against a 40-hour work week!" Stretch continued. "He'll be lucky to make it to tomorrow, let alone Friday!"
Stinkie shook his head. "Maybe someone oughta just put the furball out of its misery."
This was enough to get Molly crying ocular gushers.
"NOOOOOOOO!"
"That's it! Let 'em flow, baby!" Stinkie encouraged.
"Boy, we're masters when it comes to misery-makin'." Stretch stated. "We deserve a promotion or somethin'."
Molly grabbed Stretch's tail and used it to blow her nose.
"I think you've just been promoted to a handkerchief." Stinkie quipped.
Stretch glared while squeezing the snot out of his tail.
With Molly upset again, the Sobgoblins came back, drawn to her saddened state.
"Aww…so cute!" Molly squealed, but quickly snapped herself out of her trance. "No! You can't distract me with your adorableosity!"
"Add that to the 'Molly McGee dictionary.'" Stretch whispered to Stinkie.
"Time to kill you guys…with kindness!"
Molly reached behind her and pulled out a motivational poster of a cat and dog high-fiving each other. Seeing something so cheerful caused the Sobgoblins to go from irresistibly cute to downright terrifying. But Molly wasn't afraid. She folded up her poster and held it out like a sword as the Sobgoblins prepared to attack.
The first thing the gloom balls tried was throwing clouds of darkness and despair toward Molly. But using her poster of positivity, she deflected every single one, and they ended up hitting three of the Sobgoblins, turning them into literal rays of sunshine. The fourth, however, ducked out of the way and tried to pounce on Molly from behind. Luckily, Stretch and Stinkie came to her rescue, the former kicking the Sobgoblin and the latter stunning it with his toxic breath. Afterwards, Molly smacked the little demon into a corner.
"We got ya now, Mr. Low Spirits!" Stretch laughed triumphantly.
The Sobgoblin gave them a menacing growl. But before either side could make their move, the fight was interrupted by a loud voice.
"STOOOOOP!"
They all turned to see Fatso had entered the attic.
"You leave my family alone!" he ordered.
"Well, it's about time Lard-Boy showed up!" Stinkie remarked.
"Fatso! You came to help us!" Molly cheered.
"I'm not here to help you!" Fatso corrected her.
"Wait…what?"
To Molly and the other ghosts' surprise, Fatso floated over to the Sobgoblin and scooped it up.
"There, there. Did those meanies hurt you, little fella? Don't worry, your big brother's here now."
"Big brother?" Stretch repeated.
"Yeah, that's right!" Fatso replied furiously. "I've been belittled and pushed around in this family for a long time now, and I'm sick of it! So, I decided to find myself a new family!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Stinkie interrupted. "You seriously think the Sobgoblins are your family?"
"Yeah, I do! They're like my brothers!" Fatso insisted. "And they're better brothers than you guys will ever be!"
Stretch got in the younger ghoul's face. "Listen, you thick-headed nincompoop…we're your family, not those sour balls! The sooner ya get that through yer pea-sized brain, the better!"
"Yeah!" Stinkie agreed. "Now hand the little booger over so we can squash him like the pest he is!"
The Sobgoblin whimpered in Fatso's hands.
"No!" Fatso refused. "This is exactly what I'm talkin' about! You're always pickin' on the little guys!"
"No, we ain't!" Stinkie argued. "We only pick on you! And let's face it, you're far from a 'little guy.'"
"Fatso," Molly intervened. "The Sobgoblins can't be your family. They're dangerous! If you keep them around, they'll suck out all your joy and make you miserable!"
Fatso turned his back to her. "They can't do any worse than those two already have, Moll."
The Sobgoblin snuggled against Fatso's chest and purred.
"C'mon little bro," he patted its head. "I'm gonna knit you a tiny sweater."
And so, Fatso took his leave, but not before the Sobgoblin blew a raspberry at the others.
"…What just happened?" Stinkie asked after a brief silence.
"It looks like Fatso is really mad at you guys." Molly responded. "Maybe you should apologize."
"Apologize? Heck no!" Stretch denied. "If he wants a pack of depression-devils as his family instead of us, fine! Good riddance, I say! We don't need that overgrown tub of jell-o anyhow!"
"Yeah! Besides, two is a much more formidable number than three!" Stinkie concurred.
"I dunno," Molly shrugged. "'The Ghostly Duo' doesn't really have the same ring to it."
She suddenly gasped and burst into tears.
"What's with you?" Stretch wondered.
Molly pointed at the poster of the cat in the tree. The cat in question was no longer there for some reason and the computer it had been using was displaying an "Error" message.
"The kitty didn't make it!" Molly wailed.
That's when the color started to drain out of her, just like it had with Pete.
"Oy…I can't stand those Sobgoblins…" Stretch grumbled as Molly continued to cry.
"Same here." Stinkie nodded. "They're gonna put us out of a job."
"That poor kitty…" Molly sobbed.
Meanwhile, downstairs in the living room, Pete was sulking in a chair while Billy and Jilly continued to hurl mean comments at him.
"Oh yeah," Billy said after peeling back a bit of the wallpaper. "This is why I'm not a homeowner."
"So Silly," Jilly began. "Are ya gonna show us around your tiny little town or are ya just gonna sit there all day?"
"Oh gee, I'd love to give you a tour of Brighton, but…" Pete fake coughed. "I think I'm coming down with something."
Billy felt his brother's forehead. "Oh yeah, I'll say. It's the same thing you've had since childhood. A bad case of boring!" he noogied Pete's head.
"I'm not boring!" Pete stood up. "I'm the most fun person you'll ever meet! And I'll prove it! C'mon, let's go!"
So, Pete took his brother and sister out to show them around Brighton. He believed that if the pair saw how great his life was, they would start treating him like an adult. But no matter how mature he tried to act, he kept getting pushed around and called names. It was as if he were a kid all over again.
Oh Dad, don't you turn into Silly McGee
Don't bring back the bore that you used to be
You've lived as a man oh so happy and free
So Dad, don't you turn into Silly McGee
Unbeknownst to Pete and the twins, Molly was right behind them, still trying to capture the Sobgoblins that had overtaken her father. The Trio had come along too, wanting to help her. Or at least Stretch and Stinkie did. Because while those two were focused in on saving Pete from the Sobgoblins, Fatso was trying to save the Sobgoblins from his former family. In fact, when it came to hunting down the little rascals, he proved to be more successful than Molly or his brothers. For every time the three of them found a Sobgoblin, he would swoop in and stuff it into a fanny pack he had around his waist before one of them had a chance to grab it. In under an hour, his pack was overflowing with the pests, while Molly, Stretch, and Stinkie had yet to capture their first one. However Fatso soon realized that the more Sobgoblins he retrieved, the sadder he felt. At one point, he began to wonder if making the creatures his siblings was such a good idea and if he should go back to his real brothers. But then he remembered how much they had made him suffer all those years ago and continued on with his mission.
Oh they give you wet willies and burp in your face
They tease and they mock you to keep you in place
So just let them laugh at the town you call home
They'll never accept you, come into your own
'Cause we're still a family as plain as can be
We still love you, Fatso and Petey McGee
Woo-hoo!
By the time the next day came around, Pete was so affected by the twins' teasing and the Sobgoblins' hold on him, that had given up on trying to earn the respect of the former. Even worse, he had somehow reverted back to his childhood persona of a doormat who let his siblings walk all over him, complete with glasses, a nerdy bowtie, and a pair of suspenders.
"Glad we could be here for your birthday, Silly." Billy said as the family approached the diner they were going to have dinner at.
"Race ya to the table!" Jilly offered. "Last one there don't get no cake!"
The two sprinted to the table, nearly knocking Pete over.
"C'mon, Silly!" Darryl lifted his dad up before he could fall. "I want my cake!"
Sharon approached Pete and looked him in the eye.
"Pete, what are they talking about? It's not your birthday. You were born in September."
"Yeah," Pete adjusted his glasses. "But so were Billy and Jilly. So we changed my birthday to today. It's fine. They were here first, so it's only fair."
Sharon frowned as she watched her husband walk away, distraught over the fact that he wasn't acting like the man she married. It was then she began to fall into a depression too, and the Sobgoblins started to dance over her head.
"Hey! Beat it, ya party poopers!" Stretch commanded, trying to shoo them away.
Fatso floated over and scooped them up. By this point, he was completely blue and continuously crying.
"Stop yelling at them!" he bawled. "They can't help causin' a perpetual state of despondency wherever they go! It's just in their nature!"
"Fatso, can't ya see what's happenin' here?" Stinkie persuaded. "Those Sobgoblins are bringin' everyone down! Includin' you! Admit it; ever since ya adopted those mood-killin' menaces, you've been a snivelin' cryin' mess!"
Fatso sniffled, hugging the Sobgoblins. "Wha-what are you talkin' about? I ain't cryin'! I'm happy! In fact, I couldn't be happier! My smile's so big it don't fit my face! I'd go so far as to say we're the happiest family ever, right fellas?"
The Sobgoblins snuggled up against Fatso's belly, the contact causing more tears to flow.
"See? You're just jealous 'cause you wish your family brought this much joy! WAAAAHHHHH!"
Fatso floated to where the McGees were sitting, leaving behind a trail of tears, while Stretch and Stinkie shook their heads disapprovingly.
"Let him go, you guys…"
The two ghosts looked below them. Molly had just come in through the door, looking more depressed than ever.
"There's no hope in stopping the Sobgoblins anyway…there's no hope for anything…"
Stretch and Stinkie got on either side of her and dragged her to the table.
"C'mon," Stretch encouraged. "Let's enjoy our last meal before life becomes so bleak we never enjoy anything again."
"Okay…can we get mac and cheese?" Molly requested.
"Whatever ya want, kiddo." Stinkie promised.
After the McGees ate their dinner, the waitress brought over a slice of carrot cake with a candle and placed it in front of Pete.
"Happy birthday, baby brother!" Billy exclaimed. "So good to have ya back."
Fatso was sitting across from them, but he hadn't eaten anything due to his overwhelming sadness caused by the Sobgoblins. It was such a sorry sight, Stretch and Stinkie were beginning to grow concerned. The latter held out his half-eaten sandwich (with extra onions).
"Uh…hey Fatso? You hungry? You want a sandwich?"
Fatso glared at him. "Oh, I see where this is goin'! You're doin' the 'fatty melt' joke again, aren't ya? You want me to say 'yes' so you'll pull out the blow dryer and melt me again, right?"
"Uh…no. I just noticed ya haven't eaten much and thought you might want a sandwich."
"Well, I don't need it and I don't need you!" Fatso screamed through tears. "The Sobgoblins are the only ones I need! At least they care about my feelings! WAAAHHHH!"
"Yeah, one particular feelin'." Stretch mumbled.
"Hey, guys!" Darryl raised his hands to get the family's attention. "I figured out what my '-illy' name should be! 'Chilly'! Ya know, 'cause I'm so cool."
"'Chilly McGee"!" Billy chortled. "That's a good one there!"
"Yeah, I like it! It suits him." Jilly agreed.
"Well, if you like that, check this!" Darryl turned to Molly. "Hey Molly, care for a side of 'Chilly' cheese fries to go with your salad?"
The boy licked his finger and stuck it in his sister's ear.
"Darryl! Gross!" she scolded.
Darryl only laughed and more Sobgoblins appeared over Molly.
"Good one, kid!" Billy commented. "I'd say you're growin' up to be just like us! Ha, ha, ha!"
Darryl grinned at this news. To seal the deal, he put on a baseball cap, similar to the ones Billy and Jilly wore. This made Pete horrified. It was bad enough having bullies for older siblings, but having a bully for a son was even worse. He glanced over at Molly and Sharon, both of whom were giving in to the extreme sorrow amplified by the Sobgoblins.
"Not Darryl too…" Sharon whimpered, embracing Molly.
Stretch and Stinkie cringed as the Sobgoblins continued to multiply. Fatso was still crying uncontrollably and Darryl was laughing maniacally.
The scene was enough to turn Pete's sadness into anger and he stood up and slammed his hands on the table.
"ENOUGH!"
The whole family became silent at his outburst.
"I am not Silly McGee!" Pete continued, throwing off the hat he was wearing. "My name is Pete! And you!" he knocked the hat off Darryl as well. "You are not 'Chilly,' you're Darryl!"
Pete proceeded to remove his suspenders and glasses, leaving him shirtless in the middle of the restaurant.
"That's right! I am done being a 'Silly McGee'! You hear me? And my birthday is in September! Deal with it!"
"Way to go, Pete!" Sharon cheered. "You tell them!"
Molly gasped as she noticed the color slowly returning to her dad and a few of the Sobgoblins disappearing as a result.
"You guys, look!" she told Stretch and Stinkie. "The Sobgoblins are weakening!"
Pete wasn't done chastising Billy and Jilly.
"Like it or not, I'm not that kid you pushed around anymore! I'm a grown man! A grown man with a loving family and a great job! So I expect you to treat me as such! You got that?"
Suddenly, to Pete's and frankly, everyone's shock, Billy and Jilly burst into tears.
"Yeah! We do got it!" Jilly wailed. "You're better than us! We've known all along! Why do you gotta rub it in?"
"…Excuse me?" Pete went.
"Our whole lives, you've made us feel like losers with your constant showin' off!" Billy explained through sobs. "And now you've got yer fancy job, yer fancy family, yer fancy house…"
"Not to mention a spacious and tastefully decorated guest room!" Jilly added.
"We ain't got none of that!"
The fraternal twins laid their heads down on the table and kept crying, causing the remaining Sobgoblins to start casting shadows over them.
"Oh great." Stretch pinched his forehead in frustration. "Not again."
"Insecurity must run deep in this family." Stinkie observed.
Pete helped Billy and Jilly sit up.
"Aw, there, there you two. I never meant to make you feel bad. The only reason I 'showed off' as you put it was because I wanted your respect."
Jilly wiped away a few tears. "Well, we may not show it so good, but…we got nothin' but respect for you."
"It's true, baby bro." Billy smiled. "We love ya. And we're proud of ya, too."
Pete couldn't help but return his brother's grin.
"Aww…what do you say we bury the hatchet with a 'Silly Sandwich'?"
"Nope." Billy shook his head. "A 'Petey Sandwich.'"
With that, the three of them hugged it out.
The Sobgoblins hissed in disgust at how heartwarming the scene was. It was so heartwarming, in fact, that it not only brought back Billy and Jilly's color, but Molly and Sharon's as well.
"Yes!" Molly exclaimed triumphantly. "Those Sobgoblins are history!"
But right when it seemed like the little monsters were about to disappear for good, they noticed there was one person at the table who was still under their influence: Fatso.
"It's so beautiful!" he hiccuped. "Siblings who love and respect each other! That's the kinda thing every family should have! WAAAHHHHH!"
The Sobgoblins were delighted by this display and surrounded Fatso on all sides.
"Oh no!" Molly whispered to Stretch and Stinkie. "The Sobgoblins are amplifying Fatso's sadness! If we don't get rid of them now, they'll keep multiplying, and then who knows what'll happen?"
"Well, what are we supposed to do?" Stretch inquired.
Molly looked over at her dad, aunt, and uncle, who were still hugging it out.
"Aww…c'mere, you!"
"I'm gonna kiss your head! Mwah!"
Molly beamed. "Wait…I think I got an idea!"
"What is it?" Stinkie prodded.
Molly tilted her head toward the siblings hugging and then back at Fatso. Stretch and Stinkie instantly knew what their fleshie friend was suggesting.
"Seriously?" Stretch complained. "This is a desperate time for sure, but it ain't that desperate, is it?"
"Stretch…" Molly scolded. "Just do it, okay?"
"Ugh…fine!"
Stretch and Stinkie approached a sniveling Fatso.
"Hey, uh…Fatso?" Stretch spoke up.
Fatso looked at them through teary eyes.
"W-W-W-What? What do you want now? To make fun of me some more?"
Stretch rolled his eyes. "What we want is to talk to ya."
"Well, I don't wanna talk! I got nothin' to say! So leave me alone!"
Stretch took a breath, trying to remain patient. "Look Fatso, ya got every right to be upset. We haven't exactly been the world's greatest brothers to ya."
"Ain't that the truth." Stinkie agreed. "We've practically been the world's worst brothers."
Fatso's tears began to slow upon hearing this. Molly nodded as a way to encourage the older ghouls to keep going.
"But well…" Stretch struggled with his words. "Ya gotta understand it from our point of view, too. I mean, we can't help that you're so easily insult-able and fun to knock around."
Just like that, the tears started pouring like waterfalls again. Stinkie nudged Stretch.
"I don't think that's helpin' our case."
"All right, all right! What we're tryin' to say is…just 'cause we like messin' with ya all the time don't mean we don't care."
Fatso rubbed his reddened eyes. "Really?"
"Yeah. 'Cause no matter how much we bully ya and push ya around, at the end of the day, we still…"
Fatso raised an eyebrow at Stretch's sudden pause.
"Still what?"
"We still l…l…luhh…luhhhghgh…" Stretch was really struggling to get the word out.
"Huh?"
Stinkie took over. "Uh, I think what our brother here is tryin' to say is…we luhhh…luuuuhhh…urp…l-l-luuhhhuhuhuhuh…"
"You…love me?" Fatso guessed.
"Yeah, sure. We lllluuhhh…" Stretch choked. "…What you said."
Fatso smiled, touched by the implied sentiment. The Sobgoblins, on the other hand, were appalled by his sudden shift in mood.
"Wow…do ya really mean that?"
"Uh, sure, sure." Stretch shrugged nonchalantly.
"And if ya come back, we promise to stop pickin' on ya…" Stinkie swore. "As much."
"R-R-Really?" Fatso squealed, much to the disapproval of the Sobgoblins.
"Yeah. And maybe, sometimes, on a few occasions, once in a while…the three of us can act like friends." Stretch suggested.
"We can act like family." Stinkie offered.
"We can act like Fred Astaire!" Fatso blurted randomly.
"That is so stupid, you hurt my head!" Stretch suddenly shouted.
Fatso's lips quivered, making Stretch groan.
"But I'll let it slide. Just this once! Now c'mon, bring it in, big guy."
Overjoyed, Fatso squeezed Stretch and Stinkie into a hug, showing that he had forgiven them. Despite feeling crushed by his extremely strong arms, the two eldest ghosts didn't hate the embrace as much as they thought they would. They even returned the smile Fatso was giving them and patted him on the back. At that moment, Molly was crying again, but this time, they were tears of happiness, which the Sobgoblins didn't like one bit.
"C'mon, everybody!" she announced. "McGee family group hug!"
Molly, Darryl, Sharon, Pete, Billy, and Jilly all reached their arms out across the table and wrapped them around each other. Then, the Ghostly Trio spread out their semi-invisible arms so they could join in and complete the ultimate gesture of love and compassion.
With no more sadness left to amplify, the Sobgoblins began to disappear until eventually, there was only one left. Stretch grabbed it and held it upside-down.
"Aw, all alone now, huh? Guess this just goes to show ya that yer nothin' without yer family by your side."
The last Sobgoblin gave Fatso doe-eyes in an attempt to make him pity it. But Fatso didn't seem to find the things all that cute anymore.
"Sorry, bud. I already got a family. And in my family, we like to pick on the little guys!"
The big phantom then flicked the Sobgoblin away and laughed while giving Stretch and Stinkie high-fives.
After a few more seconds, the McGees came out of the hug and Pete gave a content sigh.
"I'm so proud of all of us. I couldn't ask for a better family."
Nobody responded to Pete's statement, however, as they were too busy looking out the window, where Mayor Brunson was staring awkwardly through the glass.
"Oh." Pete blushed upon noticing his boss. "Hello, Mr. Mayor. Don't mind us. Just…having a little family time."
"Ooh, nice save there." Stretch remarked sarcastically.
"Classic Silly McGee." Stinkie shook his head.
"That name really does fit him, don't it?" Fatso noted.
Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
Yeah, I bet you weren't expecting this to be a Fatso-centric episode, were you? To be honest, even I didn't expect it. Spoiler alert: the next few chapters are probably also going to be Fatso-centric because the show likes to emphasize the greedy part of Scratch's personality more than anything else.
Also, I did watch Dogman last night (it was good, but not as good as Captain Underpants) and the Bad Guys short. I haven't decided if I should adapt it into a fanfic yet, I may need some time to think about it.
What are you waiting for? Review before the website makes this chapter disappear! Hurry! Do it now!