Sheev Palpatine was a very busy man and spent a lot of time in his office. Managing a company like this didn't leave him much free time, and what little free time he did have, he spent in men's clubs or playing golf. He always had an excuse for Padmé. He had no family, his parents were dead, there were only distant relatives who always wanted something from him, and since he didn't want to spend money on them, he skilfully avoided them.
So Padmé always spent the holidays with her family. When Sheev had time or wanted to be with her, he joined them. But he hardly ever wanted to, except for those five nights a month that he was entitled to according to the contract. Before one of those nights, they sometimes went out to eat, but that didn't happen often either. That was their great marriage. No wonder she longed for someone she could spend more time with, every day and every night, not just five a month... and, most importantly, someone she loved. Anakin.
Sometimes she wondered how she could stand loving someone, seeing him every day for seven years and knowing that he was out of reach. Well, he's only been out of reach for two years... and what had she done before that? Mistakes.
The only thing that did her good was her family. She saw her parents, her sister Sola and her sweet nieces Ryoo and Pooja almost every day. She envied her sister her children and a husband like Darred... everything she didn't have.
Christmas is also a beautiful holiday that you spend with your family, so Padmé wished for a trip to the mountains, lots of snow or a horse-drawn sleigh ride with a troika in Russia... anything that will not come true.
Instead, Padmé spent Christmas at home. She actually celebrated Christmas Day, which fell on a Friday, with her husband and the following night, one of the five. She even received an expensive present, a diamond necklace worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, which she probably won't even wear. She was starting to feel dirty. She also had a present for him, a negative pregnancy test with a card that said, "Sorry." He was of course angry and didn't show his face at home for the next two days.
What Sheev didn't know, what nobody knew, was that Padmé didn't want to get pregnant. She had a hormone injection every month. Sheev would find out at some point, maybe, but by then she would have thought of something, she thought.
On Friday evening she received a text message.
"Merry Christmas, Padmé. Regards Anakin."
She replied, "Thank you Anakin, and I wish you a Merry Christmas too, best regards." Then she deleted the whole conversation. So, no traces left.
She spent Saturday and Sunday with her parents. Actually, she was more often with her parents than at home, which she did not consider home. There was the bed where she slept and was served breakfast, ate what Sheev left over, he was gone before her. She felt comfortable and at home in her parents' house. It was furnished to her taste when she was still in high school. Many of her clothes were there. In her husband's mansion, she wasn't even allowed to move a vase or sofa cushions, or even hang a picture. There she felt like a stranger, like a guest.
Despite everything, she spent New Year's Eve with Sheev at a party, invited somewhere by someone she didn't care about, she couldn't even remember the host's name.
Since she had to represent Sheev, she ordered a hair stylist and a make-up artist, put on the super-expensive Dior skin-couture dress and actually adorned herself with the necklace that Sheev had given her for Christmas. She had to put on her mask, get lost in small talk by putting her hand into Sheev's armpit, or get bored with trivial conversations, but she had mastered that perfectly by now. A glass, two or three of the Dom Pérignon made everything easier to bear. She didn't really like this expensive champagne either; it was much too dry for her taste, just like the conversations she had after she raised her full glass in cheers. She liked sweet things, Assam tea and cucumber sandwiches, which Anakin made... but they weren't available there. There were tons of caviar, which always left a nasty greasy film on the palate, and excellently presented finger food that tasted of nothing. Well, none of that was important, she had no appetite anyway at the sight of these mostly pompous, empty-headed women, who had their heads only to present the masterpieces of the hairstylists. And the men? They weren't as stupid, but all the more devious and intrusive.
That evening, she often thought of Anakin. Where was he now and with whom? The thought that he was celebrating and dancing with another woman somewhere… hurt, but she had nothing to wish, he was single and she had a husband.
At midnight, after kissing her husband and exchanging a few more kisses with acquaintances and strangers at the party, her iPhone rang. She opened her small Dior clutch, just big enough for her lipstick and cell phone, and saw the incoming call from Dr. Skywalker.
"Who is that, darling?"
"Sola." she lied.
"Give her my regards and best wishes... where are you going?"
"Give me some privacy, Sheev, I'll be right back." And left.
He had suspected that it wasn't Sola, but let it pass.
She accepted the call on the third ring. *Hello, Anakin.*
Hello Padme. I wish you all the best in the New Year, good luck and may all your wishes come true.*
If I want my wishes to come true, I'll need all the luck in the world, but thank you. I wish you all the best too. Are you celebrating somewhere nice... with someone?*
No, I'm in Toronto. My mother is sick and getting worse.*
Worse? What's wrong with her?*
Cancer.*
Oh my God, Anakin... I'm sorry. What are the chances of recovery?*
None.*
How long have you known?*
Since recently. She didn't tell me.*
Oh Anakin, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say.*
"There's nothing to say, Padmé. Enjoy your evening, I'll see you on Monday."
"I hope... that your mother gets better, that she's not in pain... and if there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. Good night, Anakin."
"Good night, Padmé."
That night was no longer good and Sheev noticed how suddenly her well-played mood disappeared.
"What messages were those, darling?"
"A colleague called too, New Year's wishes as expected, but said his mother is very ill, she has cancer."
"Dr. Skywalker, isn't it?"
"Yes. How did you know?"
"If it had been another colleague, you wouldn't have cared, more or less."
"You mean I have a thing for him?"
"Not just a thing, I know that. Do you think I could run a company like this if I left everything to chance? I know everything about everyone, including you."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"Don't mention it... darling."
"Sometimes I hate you, Sheev."
"Not only sometimes, but since I don't care, it's not hard to bear."
Mistrust dominated her daily lives. Fortunately, there were also days when they didn't see each other. Only in bed was he different, and she couldn't figure out why, or maybe she didn't want to.
In mid-January, it was Friday the 15th, Anakin came to her office. He looked depressed.
"Hello Padmé. I have already spoken with Dr. Windu and the administration is informed, but I thought I should tell you personally; my mother has died, I have taken a week's unpaid leave and am flying to Toronto."
"Oh Anakin..." she came up to him, put her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek "...My condolences, I'm so sorry", then she pressed her cheek against his and they remained like that, for God knows how long.
It did him so much good; no one could comfort him like the woman he loved.
As they stood there, embraced, the door opened and Sheev Palpatine entered the room. Padmé and Anakin let go of each other.
"Dr. Skawalker's mother has died; he came to say that he is flying to Toronto."
"Oh, I see... and you're letting my wife comfort you... my condolences." And he held out his hand.
Anakin took his hand and couldn't say anything other than thank you. "I'll be going then, Padmé. See you Monday the week after next."
"Have a safe flight and... try... I'll think of you."
"Thank you, bye, Padmé. Goodbye, Mr. Palpatine."
Sheev just nodded his head but didn't say anything. When Anakin was outside, Padmé expected a tirade, but it didn't come.
"Are you sleeping with him?"
"No."
"Good, then you'll sleep with me tonight."
"If you want, Sheev..."
"Yes. I just don't want any complications, Padmé. I'll make reservations at your favorite restaurant. I'll see you there at 8:00 p.m. sharp. After that, we'll have a nice night, but before pleasure comes work. I still have a lot to do before then, and most of it is unpleasant. Stay busy until tonight...darling."
Padmé hadn't even had a chance to say anything; he was already gone. Wonderful, she thought, just now when Anakin had left, she still had such fresh memories of the scent of his perfume in her nose...flashback:...the scent of his body felt so...second and gone... yes, just now the good husband demanded a night from her, one of those five. He certainly did that on purpose. But a contract was a contract and the demanded duty was her duty. Well, she would at least look forward to the nice dinner at her favorite restaurant.
She dressed nicely, a Chanel suit that suited the wife of a billionaire, but she also wore such things before she married him and after all, he only wore tailored suits, regularly flying to London to have them made at Savile Row.
Anakin didn't wear suits like that. At the office, he was usually seen in jeans, a shirt without tie and maybe a BOSS jacket or a Zegna cashmere pullover. He always wore nice shoes with it, mostly oxfords; in summer, loafers dominated. You could say he dressed in a sporty, elegant way, not too cheap and not too expensive.
She remembered her student days. All the students wore jeans, a T-shirt in the summer and a hoodie and down jacket in the winter, and so did she. This casual clothing suited Anakin perfectly too. Why didn't she, why...? The question and the regret were in vain. Oh life, I curse you, buzzed around in her head.
Those were the days! If only she could turn back the time... Unfortunately, she couldn't. You can't change the past. She just had to make her life as bearable as possible with everything she knows and has now. She had a husband, wealth, social standing, a good job... and she was unhappy. Maybe that will change one day. You just mustn't lose hope...
Best regards from Germany