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As Nick stood there, still captivated by the painting on the ceiling, Charlie joined him. "Hey."
"Hey."
"What are you looking at?"
It would have been hard to explain to Charlie how the painting had made him feel, so he didn't try. Some things you couldn't translate. "Just a painting." They went up the stairs together.
After a few turns and another set of stairs, the whole group was lost, tired, and ready to sit. Nick and Charlie sat a bit apart, studying the map. Charlie was sure he could figure it out if he had enough time.
Nick pointed at a section. "I think we're there, 'cause I think it was—"
Charlie pointed at another one before he finished. "We've already walked past the Mona Lisa, so we're at that one, aren't we? Which means that if we go up these stairs, we can see the Greek sta—tues."
His voice died off when he saw Ben coming down the opposite side of the stairs. He looked at them as he went past, trailing behind Harry and some of his mates.
"I should probably tell you, when we were on the Eiffel Tower, he said that he still liked you. Like, he, he genuinely thinks he still has a chance of getting back with you." He didn't want to worry Charlie about it, but he also didn't want Charlie to be surprised by anything Ben might do.
Charlie smiled a little bit at that. "He doesn't."
"Yeah." Nick chuckled, wishing the whole situation would just go away. He didn't like having Ben constantly around, on the edge of their lives. But soon enough he wouldn't be, so there was no use worrying about it right now. "Right." He got to his feet, reaching for Charlie's hand. "Shall we get going?" Charlie looked miles away, and Nick called his name, concerned.
Then Charlie took his hand and let him pull him to his feet.
"Come on, you lot," Nick said cheerfully to their friends.
Charlie had been exactly right. The next set of stairs took them to the Greek statues. Nick and Isaac walked along, looking at them, speculating on how they were made. Everything was so accurate, down to the folds of the draperies.
Somewhere along the second or third gallery, he heard Charlie call his name. It sounded strange—faint and weak. Nick turned immediately, alarmed, to see that Charlie had fallen far behind the rest of them. He was standing there pale as the statues around them, swaying. "Charlie, what's wrong? Charlie?"
"I don't— I don't feel very well." And then he was pitching forward. Nick barely caught him, going to his knees as he tried to keep Charlie from hitting the floor.
His heart was pounding, panic filling him. If there was something wrong with Charlie— "Somebody get Mr. Farouk!" He touched Charlie's face. It was so cold, so clammy. "Charlie?"
Isaac and Imogen had gone for the teachers, while Tara, Darcy, and Sahar knelt next to Nick and Charlie. Nick barely noticed them. All he could think about was Charlie, and how much he loved him, and what might be wrong with him, and what he had been thinking not to be walking with him if he wasn't feeling right. Was this because of what Nick had said about Ben?
At last Charlie's eyes fluttered open and Nick breathed a sigh of relief.
"What just happened?"
"You just, um … you passed out," Nick said, holding him carefully.
"Onto your boyfriend, though, so all good," Darcy said softly, smiling at him.
Charlie sat up, looking back at Nick.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Just …" Charlie looked round at everyone staring at him. "Really embarrassed."
Isaac and Imogen came running in. "We found them!"
The teachers were right behind them. Mr. Ajayi knelt next to Charlie. "Are you all right?" He put the emergency aid kit down on the ground.
"I'm fine. Really."
"You fainted," Mr. Farouk pointed out. "That doesn't sound fine to me."
"Let's …" Mr. Ajayi looked round them. "Let's find you somewhere to sit down. Youssef, can you get Charlie some water and something to eat?"
"That's really not necessary," Charlie protested.
"Yes. It is." For once, Mr. Ajayi's tone was as firm as Mr. Farouk's. "Come on, then."
"I'm coming, too," Nick said.
"Okay. But the rest of you, go off. Enjoy the museum. We'll take care of Charlie."
They walked slowly, Charlie still looking a bit unsteady, until they found a table in an atrium. The three of them sat down, Mr. Ajayi watching Charlie closely. "Are you sure you feel okay, Charlie?"
"Yeah, I just … haven't eaten enough today."
Mr. Ajayi gave him a look like that wasn't unexpected. "If you need to sit down or you just want to rest on the coach, that's fine."
Mr. Farouk appeared, sliding a sandwich across the table and handing Charlie a water bottle. "There." He sat down next to Mr. Ajayi.
"Right. We'll let you chill out a bit."
"Yeah. Thanks."
Mr. Farouk held out a fist for Charlie to bump, and the two of them got up and left Nick and Charlie alone.
Nick couldn't help but remember the way Charlie had picked at his breakfast, the way he had tried to refuse the ice cream yesterday and hadn't eaten much at that breakfast, either. All the times Nick had offered food or snacks at his house and Charlie had turned them down. He didn't want to stress his boyfriend out, but he also wanted to understand what was happening. "Charlie." He didn't know how to say it, so he just … went ahead. "I've noticed you, uh, don't really eat a lot. Um … generally. Or … I don't know, it kind of feels like it's gotten worse recently? Like, I feel like you eat less than you used to."
Charlie looked nervous, fidgeting with his sleeve, and Nick wanted to stop, but he also wanted Charlie to know it was okay to talk to him. At last, Charlie said, "Yeah." And then, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
"Hey. No." Under the table Nick reached for his hand. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I just … I want to understand."
For once, Charlie didn't say it was fine. He was clearly struggling, not entirely sure he wanted to talk about it, but he pushed through. "I know I don't eat like normal people. Some days I'm fine, but other days I feel like I need to … control it. I used to do it a lot last year, when everything at school was really bad. Sometimes it feels like the only thing I can control in my life."
Nick understood. He felt badly that their relationship, its openness, wasn't in Charlie's control. One more burden Charlie had to carry.
Shaking his head, Charlie tried to walk it back. "That makes zero sense. You can just forget I said—"
"It does make sense," Nick said firmly. "Okay, maybe I don't totally get it, but … I still want to know if you're feeling like that. If you're having a bad day, or … if there's anything that I can do to make things less stressful. Cheering you up, or— I'm your boyfriend, Charlie. And I—" He caught himself. This wasn't the moment for the big word. "I really care about you."
To give them both a moment to breathe and come down from the emotions, he dug into his backpack for this morning's croissant, which looked pretty stale by this point, laying it on the table.
Charlie smiled, picking up the croissant and unwrapping it. He took the tiniest nibble, chewing, then put the croissant away. "It's a bit dry."
Nick didn't blame him a bit, but he couldn't help teasing him just a little. "You are not rejecting the croissant that I lovingly carried for you all day."
But he was, and he sat there and ate his sandwich while Nick looked for things to talk about that wouldn't make Charlie feel self-conscious until the whole sandwich had been finished.