"Okay, so let you lead with contact, don't bleed around you, and avoid speaking of your food source unless necessary. Hopefully easy enough. I mean, I've never really been clumsy."

Emmett chuckled, leaning back against the seat of his Jeep as he thought, "No, but you do like to do dangerous stuff. So, there's that…."

She would give him that. She remembered the many times that she sat in Judy and Tim's bathroom bleeding from farm equipment or helping out around with chores. God, maybe it wouldn't work…or maybe she needed to coat herself in bubble wrap first.

Or maybe, he was trying to let her down easy? Explain to her all the different ways…no. He had told her right from the start that he was thinking about them and that he thought it would work. But that…. "Can I ask a weird question?"

Emmett's eyes danced from the road over to her face, amusement evident in the smirk he wore, "Sure thing, Rae Rae. Anything you want."

"You said Edward told Bella about him being a vampire. But then you said that it was bad and not allowed when you wanted to tell me. Why? Who said you can't tell me? Are we getting in trouble now that you did tell me?" Her one question turned into more as gears in her brain spun rapidly.

"You're not in trouble, Rachel-"

"But you are." She stated, not letting him finish his sentence.

He hesitated, giving validation to her thoughts. She briefly wondered if vampires had their own police force, or mafia. That would interesting. Terrifying, and interesting.

Emmett pulled Rachel out of the pictures of rugged vampires in mafia clothes, "It'll be fine. I'm not…like, super in trouble. I think the family is just worried because I haven't been a vampire very long and therefore it can be hard for me to be around humans. It's not like I'm actually in trouble or they're actually mad at me. They're just worried."

"The family being Edward, the girl and the doctor and them?" Rachel clarified. He nodded.

She wondered what their reactions would be when they found out. Would they be upset? Was Emmett downplaying it, so he didn't worry her? Did it matter?

Rachel tried to push out the worries and opinions of others. She couldn't control them and therefore didn't need to focus her energy on them. That's what she told herself anyway.

"So, what's next?" Rachel asked instead to try and keep her mind distracted. "Your new vampire family isn't thrilled about us hanging out. We can't, I assume, tell my family we're hanging out. Where does that leave us?"

Emmett shrugged as he glanced over at Rachel. His face was difficult to read for once, looking confused and nonchalant and worried all in the same expression. Rachel moved between the different features while she tried to piece it together. His words didn't help. "Well, that's up to you, honestly. I mean, I obviously won't force you into anything. And you don't have to make any decisions right now. We can just hang out and feel it out. Or we can not hang out and you can let me know. Whatever you want. How's that sound? We will do whatever you want."

"What about what you want?" She asked. His feelings were important too and she wanted to make sure they were at least taken into consideration. Especially when he put himself in trouble by telling her about him, he at least needed the chance to make his feelings known.

The expression changed then; became more clear. His smile was sad, like he was disappointed and trying not to show it. "I dunno. I'm not the one giving everything up, Rachel. Your friends, your family…your future. Everything we talked about…." Emmett trailed off; his eyes locked on the road ahead of them.

She knew what he was referring to. They'd had the conversation many times before. Graduate, wedding, jobs, babies….

It hadn't been in her thoughts when Emmett had told her about vampirism and what had happened to him. But now that he specifically called it out, her mind whirled with all the differences in their future lives it would bring. She assumed vampires couldn't have babies. She assumed they couldn't work - too hard to control their thirst. She assumed they didn't have weddings, couldn't go shopping around that many humans. And graduation…Edward did well walking with her and Bella to class, but being stuck in a room with humans was likely out of the question.

So yes, she would literally be giving up everything. Everything she had wanted with him, now for him.

At least eventually.

Emmett didn't age, but Rachel did. How long could she stay human while he wasn't? It had already been four years, and while Rachel didn't look like she aged that much, as she was only 22, she surely didn't have that much time before she would start to show signs of her mortality. And what would she do when she did and needed to be turned? Say goodbye to everyone she knew forever? Leave Tim and Judy and Emmett's brothers and Madison and Chloe and Lucy? Leave her parents?

"You don't have to decide anything right now." Emmett reminded her. She wasn't sure if that was because of her facial expression or her lengthened silence. "If you want, we can hang out and if you find a different super cool human dude here, we can stop being friends so you can be with him…."

Why did that suggestion make Rachel feel ill?

Ignoring the fact that it was wildly unethical, Rachel just felt…gross. She didn't want to use Emmett like that. That wasn't fair to him. Besides, the thought of being with someone else made her feel weird. Empty maybe. Almost as though she was losing him all over again. She'd just gotten him back and then she had to leave him? Of course, it would be awhile before she…the situation was too complicated.

She wanted things to go back to the way they were. She wanted Emmett to be human again and for her to be able to grow old with him. She wanted to get married and have babies and tease his brothers and love on their nieces and nephews. She just wanted her old life back.

Was there a cure for vampirism?

Rachel didn't ask. It seemed rude. And Emmett would surely have taken whatever he needed to in order to cure himself if there had been one.

"You can say no too." Emmett mumbled, eyes firmly on the road back to Seattle. "We don't have to do this either, Rachel. I…I just wanted to give you the choice. You never got a choice."

And that wasn't what she would choose.

Or was it?

She would certainly pick vampirism over Emmett's death. She would make the same choice that the Rosalie girl did. She would rather see him and be with him than to not.

Or would she?

No family, no little McCarty babies, no job or education. Those were hard things to give up. Those where things Rachel had wanted her entire life. She couldn't just say goodbye to them. She couldn't just leave her family behind. She couldn't leave his family too.

"What are you thinking? Talk to me. Please?" Emmett's eyes were pleading again. Had her face looked that bad?

"I…I don't know, Emmett." Rachel pulled her legs up to her chest, resting her head in her hands. She lightly pulled on her hair in hopes of relieving some of the pressure on her forehead. "It's…a lot to take in at moment, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Emmett smiled softly, eyes solely on her again. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to spring everything on you. That's why I said we could take it slow. Hang out for a while and if you decide you don't want this or want a super cool human dude then-"

"Stop." Rachel cut him off. She closed her eyes.

He did as he was told, not speaking again until Rachel opened her eyes. "Sorry."

"I'm not doing that to you, Em." She shook her head at the thought. "I'm not…I can't…I'm not using you like that. I'm not hurting you…."

"What about you?" He asked quietly, "What about what you want?" The repeated words made her glare, just as she always did when he made her valid points against her. And always for her benefit…he was dumb like that.

"I dunno, Em." Rachel sighed, resting her head back against the seat. Her mind slowly drifted to how nice of a vehicle Emmett had. The interior looked brand new, a stark comparison to the old truck he'd driven around back in Tennessee. She shook the thoughts away and mentally chided herself to focus. "I don't know what the best solution is. I mean, I've missed you so much." He blurred slightly in her vision, and he slowly brought a cool hand over the center console. "I still want that life with you. I wanna graduate and get a job and get married and have little M-McCarty babies and…."

He shifted so his arm was wrapped more fully around her, drawing her closer as she cried. His cool cheek on her forehead felt nice as her cries warmed up her body.

At the same time, it was sharp, painful reminder of what he was now.

She hadn't realized he'd been apologizing to her. So lost in her own wallowing thoughts, she hadn't heard the thickness of Emmett's voice until she'd realized he'd pulled over.

"I'm so, so sorry, Rachel. I'm sorry, baby." He whispered against her hairline. "I want all those things too, Rae. But, now…. I'm so sorry."

"I-it's not your fault." She whispered against his chest. "It's just all screwed up."

"Yeah." Emmett breathed. "Yeah, it is."

Rachel wasn't sure how long they sat on the side of the road, not moving, just sitting. Her mind was full and empty at the same time, running and paused. There was nothing to do about it. Nothing to fix him. She sat with only one decision to make. Yes or no.

There were pros and cons to each. Her heart was torn in two.

Love him or leave him.

Give it all up or give it all up.

"I just want you to be happy, Rachel. That's all I want. I know how important your family and friends are to you. I'd never ask you to give them up. I just…I just wanted to give you the choice." Emmett broke the silence. He spoke the words and therefore they were true. Emmett couldn't lie and he said everything he thought. Good or bad. He would support her if she choose to walk away and be with her family.

Was that the best choice though? Her relationship with her parents was weird. Her dad was cool, and her mother was distant. But maybe that had been Rachel's fault. Maybe they just never knew how to speak to her after she lost Emmett. Maybe she pushed them away.

Her relationship with Emmett's family was normal. Well, not normal, but it wasn't as tight as her own family. Maybe that was because they had lost with her. Maybe they changed with her.

"I don't know what to do." Her life was so screwed up. It was all screwed up.

"We'll do whatever you wanna do, Rae." Emmett was supportive as ever, glancing at her with the same concern he'd shown her all morning. She appreciated and hated it. She hated that they couldn't fix it.

How could she leave them? How could she wreck Emmett's family that way? How could they lose them both?

How could she leave him? How could she wreck the only peace her heart had felt since that day? How could she lose him again?

She couldn't.

"I love you." The strongest Rachel's voice had been since they moved on to the topic.

Emmett hesitated, pulling away slightly to look at her. His eyes scanned her face, eyes hopeful, but brow furrowed in concern that he'd find deceit. He smiled. "I love you too, Rae Rae."

Rachel smiled too, blinking away the last of the tears as she took a shaky breath. "Okay, so let you lead with contact, don't bleed around you, and avoid speaking of your food source unless necessary. Hopefully easy enough."

He brought her back to the front of her dormitory, putting the Jeep in park. Edward was waiting on one of the benches in front of the building without Bella, eyes following the vehicle.

Rachel glanced at the clock. Bella would be in class for another thirty minutes, if she remembered correctly. That explained her absence.

"It's like he doesn't trust me." Emmett muttered, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Rachel wasn't exactly sure what Emmett meant. Edward didn't trust him to bring Rachel back? Edward didn't trust him to bring her back alive?

She didn't want to know.

Instead, she changed the subject. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." With the switch came Emmett's shift in mood, a bright smile on his face. "Maybe you should give me your phone number. That way someone can call me if you fall up the stairs or something."

The way he said it made her think she should recognize it from somewhere. A movie quote? Or something he had told her once? She racked her brain but came up empty. Maybe she wasn't as good as she had once thought.

"Asking for my phone number?" She quipped instead. "What do you like me or something?"

"Close. I was thinking of when you asked me for my phone number." Emmett smirked, helping to fill in the gaps in her memory. The conversation vaguely came back to her.

"Are you going to be blowing up my phone?"

"Don't act like you wouldn't enjoy it."

Rachel giggled as she nudged his arm, leaning back into Emmett's gentle embrace. For a brief moment, everything felt right.

She made it back to the McCarty's that night. That time, Emmett was waiting for her.

He wasn't waiting for her that morning. But, judging by the speed with which he walked towards her, Edward had been. He strode over to her gracefully, easily catching her despite the distance apart.

"Rachel." The sound of her name fell smoothly from his lips, almost like his tongue was velvet. It was an unsettling mental image. Edward cringed as he fell into step by her side and she couldn't help but worry that she smelt bad. She had showered that morning. Did Edward not enjoy the scent of lilac? Maybe her blood was just unappealing to him. Did vampires have different blood preferences? Did he not enjoy A?

"Rachel." Edward yanked her from her thoughts. He stopped beside her, almost forcing her to pause as well. "I need you to listen to me."

She quirked her head slightly to the side, wondering exactly what it was Edward could have to tell her. He had seemed upset with Emmett the day before. Though, of course he would be, if he was like the rest of the family and angry that Emmett had been talking to her. The memory put her on edge instantly, defensive towards the vampire as she realized that he may say or do anything that he thought would break her and Emmett up.

"Rachel, you don't understand what you're doing, OK? You're not safe." Edward's voice was hardened, almost as if he was angry with her and not Emmett. "No matter how bad your human life is, it's not as bad as what you're doing now-"

"Have you lost your mind?" Rachel snapped, narrowing her eyes at him, "You don't know a damn thing about my life. And you don't know a damn thing about Emmett, if you think I'm giving something up by being with him." Hell, Rachel wasn't even 100% sure she wanted to be with Emmett long-term, but she would defend Em and his character until her last breath.

"I'm not saying Emmett isn't a good person." Edward backtracked, "I'm just saying that you don't realize what you're doing by being with him. You don't realize how dangerous it is; what you're giving up. Do yourself a favor and get out now."

Rachel scoffed, "But you can do the same thing and it's totally fine. You can hang out and date Bella for a year and its no big deal."

"The fact that you say that proves to me that you don't understand. I've been doing this a long time, Rachel. Far longer than Emmett has. And it's incredibly difficult for me, someone who has been doing this over twenty times longer than Emmett. We're uncontrolled when we're that young – not as bad as in our first year, but not much better."

"He did great-"

"One day. One day, Rachel." The intensity of Edward's stare bristled Rachel's skin. "Ever heard the story about the blind squirrel and the nut? All it takes is one slip, one mistake, and your life is over."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" She was relieved when her voice came out strong instead of fearful. Whether or not Edward was doing it on purpose, Rachel fought against the cool pressure in chest. She wouldn't be weak. Not in front of him.

Edward exhaled sharply, not breaking his gaze. "Worse. It's a promise."

"Emmett would never hurt me." That much she could say with confidence. Emmett had always been kind and gentle and respectful towards her. He'd protected her and tried to shield her from things she hadn't even known she'd needed saving from.

"Never on purpose." Edward agreed.

Rachel nodded, glancing quickly at the ground before raising her gumption and catching Edward's eye once more. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm not changing my mind. Now, if that's all you have to say to me, then I'll ask you to do yourself a favor as well. Stay the hell away from me. Or my safety ain't the one you're going to have to worry about."

Threatening a vampire. Sure, that was smart, Rachel. Real smart.

She walked off to class feeling like she had just escaped the cold hands of death – which, to be fair, she kind of had.

The problem with near-death experiences was that they made it hard to focus. Her classes dragged on and on. Every clock in the room competed for the world's longest minute just to spite her. All she wanted to do was see Emmett again. She wanted to fall into his protective grasp and never leave. She wanted to forget about their differences, about their families, about Edward, and just melt away with him.

Chemistry was the class she dreaded the most. Bella was in her class and they'd have to speak to each other because it was lab. She'd already skipped Tuesday, which meant she absolutely couldn't avoid it that day. Her only hope was that Bella wouldn't show.

But, as the girl slid onto the stool next to Rachel, those dreams quickly faded.

Things between the two were awkward. Or maybe Rachel just felt that way due to her fight with Edward earlier in the day. The one time she wanted time to drag on was when the professor was explaining the lab they'd be completing. It seemed fate itself hated Rachel though, because before she had time to think of what she'd say to Bella, the professor had dismissed them to start the assignment and her partner was turning to look at her.

"Do you want to write or work with the chemicals?" Bella asked innocently, as though nothing was different or weird between them.

Still, Rachel contemplated which one would take up more of Bella's brain power. If Bella was too focused on the lab, then maybe they could avoid the conversation altogether.

"Um, I'll write." Rachel decided, taking the packet from the center of the table and sliding it over to her side of the table. Bella got started reading through the instructions and prepping the station in silence. Rachel hoped she'd get lucky and that Bella wouldn't bring up Emmett at all.

Wishful thinking.

"So, how did yesterday go?" Bella tried to ask nonchalantly, but the girl's eyes were constantly flashing over to Rachel to read her face.

Rachel sighed, "Look, I'm not trying to be mean, but if you're going to try and talk me out of it, I'd rather not talk about Emmett. Edward already gave me an-"

"Edward?" Bella turned to look at Rachel fully then, eyebrows furrowed together. "Edward talked to you?"

"This morning." Rachel doodled a little flower in the corner of their paper – the only thing she could draw that didn't look like a two-year-old did it. She lowered her voice so only Bella could hear, "He told me to stay away. That Emmett was dangerous."

Bella scoffed and rolled her eyes as she turned on the Bunsen burner. "Of course, he did. He told me the same thing."

"He told you to stay away from Emmett?"

"No, sorry." She quickly corrected herself, "About him. That it was better if we weren't friends. That if I was smart, I'd stay away."

Rachel could see Edward saying that. And it wasn't even that Edward was wrong; he wasn't. It was dangerous. Everything logical in her mind told her that she should stay away, that she should move on and forget Emmett ever existed. Yet, at the same time, she just couldn't.

"It'll work out." Bella said suddenly. "I mean, if this is what you both want, you'll find a way to make it work."

"You think so?" Her eyes cautiously peeked over at Bella.

"I know so."