Chapter 21:Looking Back and Looking Ahead

February 14 2007 la push:

" Are you Paul's wife?" Leon asked hesitantly. He had heard the rumors that his son had taken a mate but he couldn't believe it.

" Good morning Mr. Lahote. Um yeah, that's me. Why don't you come in!"

It was then Bella realized she was just wearing a giant t-shirt, no underwar and alone with her father in law.

A deep blush covered her face as she excused herself.

Five minutes later she returned wearing leggings and a sweater.

" So you were asking about Paul?" she questioned as she found him looking at the pictures in the living room.

" Yes, ever since he came home, I haven't had the opportunity to chat with him. I was also coming to invite him to the family dinner figure I would stop by and check. Since we keep crossing paths but not communicating."

Hmm, I wonder why She thought sarcastically. However, it seemed Bella opened her big mouth without thinking.

" Why the sarcasm?" He asked pointedly.

Bella put her hands up in surrender dropping all pretenses of politeness.

" Look Mr. Lahote. It's not like you get the Father of the Year award. You have treated Paul like dirt under your shoe since the day he was born. And when you finally did manage to step up it was too late. So why now? Because if you think you can just waltz in here and have some kind of say In Paul's life, you got it twisted buddy. Paul deserves better after everything you and his mother put him through! But now that Paul comes home wearing a badge of honor all of a sudden you all want to be up his butt and pretend you care! Well, screw you!" Bella yelled with tears in her eyes.

Her wonderful husband had been through so much and now that he was in a good spot in life his past wanted to come knocking.

It was then warm arms enclosed her pulling her back to a broad chest.

" hush now kitten. No need to get worked up." was Paul's warm voice. His big hands splayed over her flat tummy.

However, that warm voice became filled with Ice when he addressed his father.

"Leon ." Paul hissed. "What. .Want?"

" you have been home for a good amount of time. Was there a reason I had to find out through the grapevine that you got married? And that everyone else got to see you except for me?"

Paul's dark laugh made Bella freeze. That wasn't a normal laugh, that was a telltale sign that Paul was getting ready to kill someone.

With steady hands, he moved, Bella over to the living room doorway as he turned back to tare at his father.

" I don't owe you anything. You said what you needed to say when you were hungover trying to beat me to death. You signed the emancipation papers all those years ago. What could you possibly want now? You didn't care for me then so why would you care now?"

Leon spoke with a look of pain and yearning in his eyes.

" You're right. I was a horrible father and I treated you poorly. Nothing I could say or do could fix how I treated you. Son, I was just so lost without your mother. I couldn't live without her. She was all I had and she was taken from me. I'm not here to make trouble. I just wanted to check on you and I can only ask that you forgive me one day."

With that said, Leon turned to leave but Bella stopped him.

" Mr. Lahote, wait! Why don't you stay for breakfast? I mean it is Paul's birthday.

Leon looked surprised and turned to Paul for approval.

Paul sniffed as he looked at Leon and then back at Bella.

" fine but the minute you offend my wife. I will throw you out. "

Leon nodded.

" I'm sorry dear I never did ask your name?" Leon asked Bella as she began to cook more pancakes.

" It's Bella." She told him politely. Despite how Paul's father had treated him in the past Bella could see he was earnest in making amends. Her heart softened as she saw the pain in Leon's eyes. He had lost his wife overnight. On Top of his grief, he had a newborn infant to raise. While the abuse was not an excuse Bella could empathize. If Paul couldn't have both parents in his life who cared, maybe he could at least have one.

Leon nodded and sat at the table looking around the house his son had built. Paul had done well without him for sure.

" Paul? What do you think about having Dad over for breakfast? Is that too much for you?"

Paul, who had been sitting in silence, looked up and smiled softly.

"This is your home kitten. Do what you want."

Bella smiled wickedly and said, "Oh so, if i wanted to paint the porch bubble gum pink you'd let me?"

Paul smiled back, matching her mischievous energy.

"Kitten, I'd buy purple paint just to add the polka dots."

Bella burst out in laughter. "I'm going to call Dad, I'll be right back."

All was silent once Bella left the room. Leon shifted awkwardly in his seat. Both he and his son had always been quiet people not much for conversation but he wouldn't lie and say he didn't want the ground to swallow him whole right now. He glanced at his son and took a deep breath before speaking.

"You love her, don't you? I've never seen or heard you laugh a day in my life. You were always a serious child. The way you look at Bella is the way I used to look at your mother. She was my everything son. I… I was lost without her. I still am."

Paul did not respond as he looked at him. However, he swore he saw a look of understanding for a fraction of a second. He then stood up and walked to the fridge pulling out a pitcher of orange juice and a slab of bacon.

"You lost your wife at that time but…You still had your son." was Paul's only response.

Leon bowed his head as guilt ate at him.

" I know. Trust me son but I didn't know how to move on and it wasn't like I had the help. You know how jacked up the Cameron Lahote family is."

"Alright. Dad's gonna be here in ten minutes." Bella announced as she returned. " Mr. Lahote, I have something for you."

She then pulled out an orange envelope.

"When Paul rescued me, we stumbled upon a hidden tribe in the Guyana rainforest."

Leon's eyes widened at her words.

"Guyana? T-That's where I met your mother." he stuttered as he looked at Paul's back.

Bella however, sat down and reached across the table to hold Leon's hand.

"We know. She helped save our lives."

Leon sputtered. "W-What? What do you mean she helped save your lives? She's dead."

"No. She's not." Was Paul's clipped response.

It was then Leon was standing, clutching the envelope to his chest.

"I-I'm sorry, I -I have to go. I need…"Leon let his words fall as he ran out the door. However he paused and looked back " I will be back, I want to get to know both of you better."

And then he was gone.

Bella sighed.

"I'm sorry Paul, I thought he would stay. I thought I could somewhat that f ailed huh?" she dry chuckled. She then stood and joined him at the stove."Hey it's your birthday! I should be the one cooking for you."

Paul turned to look at her as he flipped the bacon.

"Leon has always been that way. Running away at the slightest problem. Suppose I Can't blame him too much. The love of his life was ripped away from him overnight."

His eyes lingered on her, as he displayed a rare face of vulnerability.

"Don't know how I would survive if I ever lost you. You're my family."

Bella was in his arms without a second thought.

"I'm not going anywhere Paul and God forbid I did. You won't be alone. We are having a kid now."

Paul growled. His eyes flashed a dangerous yellow.

"Don't talk like that! Do you think that would make me feel better? Having our child but not you? What kind of life is that Bella? I can't breathe without you. Do you not know what you mean to me? I cherish you in my soul. We are tied together. So don't think that for one day you not being here would be a livable life because it wouldn't be. That was one thing I could understand about the leech. Loving someone so much you can't live without them."

Bella stared at Paul, her mouth feeling like cotton. She knew her husband loved her dearly but- She never knew the depths. To be fair, she didn't know how she would respond if he was taken from her either.

Instead of words, she brushed her cheek against his sending calming purrs over him.

"It's not gonna happen my love. And right now is a happy day! It's your birthday, I'm moving in and we're having a baby! I know we never talked about it but-"

"I'm happy." Paul interrupted. His eyes were closed as they now leaned together forehead to forehead. "I was terrified and surprised because you would think supernatural noses would detect these things but I think we were all so distracted and not to mention your scent is ten times stronger than what it normally is, plus you've been so tired. It's not that I never wanted kids, I just don't want to be like either of my parents. So committed to my tribe that I abandon my duties as a parent or so distraught over a loss I can't see that my child needs me. What If I fail kitten?"

"Oh, Paul. Honey? No parent is perfect and there isn't a manual on how to raise a kid. I mean look at us. Look at your parents and look at mine. I mean Charlie tried his best and I knew that he loved me. I think that's all you can do, support your child, teach them right from wrong but eventually, they will have to make their own decisions. The best thing we can do as parents is be there for and with them every step of the way. Knowing when to hold their hand and when to make them pull up their bootstraps. Besides, we won't be alone. We have the whole pack and the refuge gang. Something tells me Eliza and Oscar won't let us out of their sight once they find out. You and I have been independent people all our lives. We were forced to grow up too fast and never asked for help. I think it's time to change that. We have a whole tribe behind us."

With that being said, Bella leaned up for a kiss, however, a knock on the front door made her groan.

"That's probably Dad."

"I'll get it," Paul told her. "But save that kiss for me for later."

"You know I will."

…

Bella and Paul cuddled on the couch and the movie played a rare moment where neither of them had to work or worry about patrol. Paul had a hand On Bella's stomach as if he were protecting their child already. Her father had stayed for a few hours even wishing Paul a happy birthday, gifting him a gift card to Harley Davidson. At the moment they wanted to keep the pregnancy hidden. No point in drawing unnecessary attention with the brewing battle on the horizon.

" How about Avila If it's a girl? Avila lahote." Paul asked softly and the glow from the TV made his face shine.

Bella arched an eyebrow in curiosity.

" You think you're gonna be a girl?" She smiled "Or are you hoping for a girl?"

" can't help but see a little girl with your eyes." He admitted

" hmm, I can see a little boy with your eyes."

Paul frowned.

" We don't need any more phasing around here."

Bella's eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, and a girl is less Likely to phase? Look at Leah! And Rebbecca. And may I remind you that you carry not one but two shape-shifting spirits? Our kids have a double whammy of phasing."

" Let's just forget it." was Paul's clipped tone.

Bella however was stubborn and continued.

" Are you serious? What are you going to love our child more if it's a girl? And ignore him if it's a boy? Paul, that's unfair!"

" the percentages of a boy phasing are higher than a girl phasing Bella. The only reason Rebbecca phased is because of the higher vampire activity." Paul argued

Bella shook her head.

" this isn't about phasing , this is about you being afraid that our son will turn out like you!" Bella accused.

" Oh? And what exactly is wrong with me Isabella!?" Paul spat his eyes glowing. By now Paul had trapped between his arms hovering over her on the couch.

"Nothing is wrong with you Paul. you know what I am trying to say. The daily battle you struggle with. The two spirits within you that you battle with. Every breath you take is a fight. Aren't you tired of fighting them honey? When are you going to be at peace with yourself? Your a good man Paul, a great husband, a great friend. Why wont you embrace that?"

Paul sighed as he lowered himself into her lap.

"I dont know how minha linda." was he soft whisper.

Bella ran her fingers through his hair and said " I'll help you. You wont do it alone."

And a comfortable silence fell over them.

However, that silence was shattered by a shrill ringing.

"Thats' my phone." Bella announced. "I'll be right back."

…

"Hey lee? Whats up?" Bella questioned as she unplugged her from its charger.

"Hey B, are you busy?Do you have time to talk?"

"I'm all ears girl." Bella said as she plopped down unto a nearby ottoman.

"Ok so well with you being the pack imprint and all, it eams none of us have to worry about staring into the eys of a stranger and being trapped." Leah began.

"Yes thats correct."

"And that meant we are free to date who,ever we so chose."

"Yes, where are you going with this lee?" Bella asked.

"WoulditetoweirdifyouwentonadoubledatewithjacobandI?" leah questioned.

"Uh, lee, I have no clue what you said. Say it again slowly this time." Bella requested.

"Would be too weird if you and Paul went on a double date with Jake and I? Thiers a restaurant we want to try in port angeles and I'm really nervous. I cant use the excuse of Imprinting to hide away from my feelings. Besides it is valentines day you know?"

"Hang on, let me ask Paul," Bella said as she put down the phone and pressed mute.

She jumped ten feet in the air when turned to see her husband leaning quietly against the door jam.

"Did you hear?" she asked.

Paul nodded.

"Do you want to go? It's your birthday, Im down for whatever you want to do."

"Whatever I want?" Paul purred.

"You know it."

"We can go but tell her to give us an hour or two."

Bella rubbed her thighs in anticipation as she unmuted the phone.

"Sure Lee, let's meet in two hours. Send me the address "

With that said Bella was quick to throw her phone down and hop into Paul's awaiting arms. Their previous argument was forgotten and a soft understanding replaced it.

…..

"Geez Paul, you couldn't let at least let Bella shower before you guys came here!" Jacob exclaimed as he hugged his sister imprint .Burrowing his head in the crook of her neck.

She smelled like Paul, sex and comfort.

Paul, however, smiled like the cat that ate the canary.

"Don't pretend you or your wolf don't like it Black. Might as well embrace the animal instincts." Paul purred as gently batted his future alpha away from his wife.

Jacob however scowled and pulled Leah into the restaurant. Paul and Bella followed after them.

It wasn't that he was ashamed of his animal instincts but the man in him cringed. The wolf took pleasure in the scent of sex of his two pancakes. It calmed him in a way.

"Relax Jake. Take it as comes." was Leah's whisper. He pulled her closed and smiled. At first, he thought it would be awkward to have a double date with his former love interest and Pack outcast. Instead, he found himself enjoying it.

The pack themselves, didn't get to get out much especially on dates, as the fear of imprinting always hung over thier heads but now, they had a sense of freedom. And even with the nomad threat, he wouldn't allow anything to ruin his valentines Day with Leah or his best friend.

"They're a cute couple," Bella told Paul as they watched Leah and Jacob dance.

"Mmm sure cutes cool but I think were the sexy ones." he smiled as he stood and offered her his hand.

Bella of course took it, standing on his toes as they slowly danced to the music.

Your already know that your my weakness

After all this time im just as nervous

Everytime you walk into the room

Im speechless

Oh you know it baby

She wore a simple red cocktail dress while Paul wore a black button up,black slacks and shaded to complete the ensemble.

"Care to switch?" jacob asked as he and leah appeard next to them.

Paul rolled his eyes but did so.

"Hiya Bells." Jacob smiled.

Bella laughed and shook her head.

"Hiya back Jake. You and Lee look good togather!" Bella complimented.

"Thanks Bells. You and Paul do too much to my me, if all the supernatural crap hadnt gone down, would you and I -"

Jacob trailed off, his eyes full of what could have been.

Bella looked over his shoulder to see Paul nod. He wouldnt be jealous if she told the truth. All of their destinies had changed over night. They were together now and nothing could change that.

Bella laid her head, on Jacobs her eyes as a future that could have been faded from view.

"We could have jake. You were my natural path but I am glad you could be with someone who would love just as intensly."

Jacob chucked as he laid his chin on her head.

"Yeah she does love me doesn't she. Hey Bells?" Jacob questioned.

"Hmm."

"Are you pregnant honey?" he whispered into her ear.

"Y-yes. How did you know?"

"I'm the rightful alpha honey, thiers a lot of things that I can sense that Sam cant. I just refuse to recognize it. You know I'm gonna have to take over soon. I can feel it."

"You always knew it was coming jake."

"I know. I just didnt want to. You complicate things." he sniffed.

Bella laughed.

" dont I always. Will you and leah be the godparents. Somethings coming Jake. Something bigger then verona and veronica. I can feel it and Paul he'd be so lost if something happened to me."

"You know we'd be honored. Besides, I can't have kids anyway. At least for as long as I phase and something tells me I'm gonna be phasing for a long time. I dont get the privilege to pick and chose. I either have to be in it or watch it all burn. My whole focus has to be on the pack and the tribe. I cant have kids or a romantic imprint in the way of that."

Bella felt her eyes widened at his revelation.

"Oh Jake.."

"Its ok Bells. Ive made peace with it. When I become alpha I'm gonna need you and Paul by my side."

"We'll be there." was Paul's confident response, as he motioned for the two of them to switch again.

"Alright guys enough supernatural talk. Fro the next few hours, we are just normal humans who are going to drink our butts off!" Leah cheered.

"Guess I'm the designated driver." Bella quipped.

The whole burst into laughter.

For the next few hours they were simply human.