Chapter 11: The Birth Of This Emperor!

Belzerg was a truly beautiful place. Aqua couldn't help but admire the wonderful world that she had helped shape and create so, so long ago. The mountains, the rivers, the forest and grassy hills…

Then she realized that the reason she had such a marvelous view of her greatest work was not because she was looking down upon it from the heavens, as she had done so many countless times over the ages, but because a dragon had just launched her nearly into the stratosphere and she was now falling at, like, a bajillion miles an hour.

"AaaaaAAAAaaaAAAAAAaaaahhh!"

All she could do was scream, even though her voice was completely drowned out by the rushing winds as she plummeted down to the ground with enough force that the air around her was starting to catch fire. She couldn't even remember the last time that she'd ever been so scared. Even at full goddess strength, hitting the ground at this velocity would be exceedingly painful, and in her current state, there was a genuine chance that she wouldn't survive the impact. Or rather, the sudden cut off of momentum and what it does to the human, or demigod, body.

"Kazuma~a!" she continued to yell. "Eri~is! Anybody!"

The planet seemed to be growing larger at an exponential rate, which just meant that she was getting closer and her time was running out. Although, she couldn't help but feel like she'd just been in this position quite recently.

Oh, right! When they were trying to get onto the tortoise but the plan went as horribly as it usually ends up. Kazuma had saved her, somehow, but how had he done it?

Right, raiment parachute.

Aqua gripped the ends of her flowing pink scarf and held on for dear life. The raiment grew singed by the flames still surrounding her but did manage to slow her fall to a comparatively controlled rate.

"Sacred Protection!" Aqua cast her strongest defense duff spell on herself, then decided to follow it up with a few extra layers just in case. "Protection! Protection! Protection!"

She was just about to reach the top of the tallest tree in the forest, the one with the golden apples, when a gust of wind blew her off course. Aqua reflexively reached out towards a glimmer of gold just out of reach, inadvertently letting go of her raiment in the process. She ended up tumbling through branches and leaves, crashing from one tree to the next until she finally fell flat on her face in a patch of mud under a rocky outcrop.

Aqua was pain. Every cubic inch of her being felt like it had participated in a monster truck rally. But, she had survived, even if she currently didn't feel like that was a good thing.

Why did she think getting into a fist fight with an elder dragon was a good idea, again?

After a few seconds of self-reflection, Aqua needed to breathe and finally pulled her face out of the mud, taking a huge breath before having to hack up mud out of her lungs.

Why was she even in this stupid world? She should have been back in heaven, chilling with her friends and scamming chumps into fighting devil kings.

It was all stupid Kazuma's fault for dragging her here. If he hadn't been such a brat then she wouldn't be here, stuck in a semi-mortal state and having to risk her own hide down here on this stupid death world. She would never have been kicked out of heaven if he hadn't-

…She has been kicked out of heaven. Kazuma didn't just drag her along down here with him. The other goddesses had flat-out decided to let him. They sent down an angel, not even another god, to boot her out of the divine realm and take over her job.

Was… was she getting punished? Did… did the other gods really hate her that much? What had she ever done to deserve that? Sure, she could maybe be a bit self-centered sometimes and she didn't always make the best choices when it came to picking who to let reincarnate into other worlds and what they got to bring with them, but hey! She'd been doing this for longer than some worlds had existed! Sure, her track record had been gradually slipping over the past few thousand years but surely that couldn't have been enough to kick out for, right? Then again…

"Ribbit."

Aqua's rare moment of self-reflection was interrupted by the most dreaded of noises. She quickly wiped the mud out of her eyes and looked up to see the slimy green form of a giant toad looking down at her. Aqua instinctively started quivering and fell back, bracing herself to be eaten again.

"Ribbit."

The toad continued to just sit there ominously, keeping its gaze fixed on her but otherwise making no signs of trying to gobble her up for lunch like literally every giant toad that she'd come across had done the moment it spotted her. It wasn't Aqua's fault that she was such a snack.

"Ribbit."

Unable to stand the anticipation any longer, Aqua held her hands out toward the toad and cast the first spell that she could think of to defend herself.

"Nature's Beauty!"

Okay, technically that wasn't a spell but nevertheless, a pair of folding fans appeared in her hands while a small plant budded out of her hair, small streams of water sprouting from each.

"Ribbit."

The toad continued to stare at her for an agonizingly long second before finally hopping off to the side, leaving her alone. Aqua just stared at it as it left, confused.

"What, am I not good enough for you!" Aqua called out angrily at the toad, somehow disappointed that it didn't eat her. Mud flew off her arm and she looked down to see that she was completely caked in it. "Oh, right. I guess that'd do it."

Aqua hosed herself off with Create Water for a few minutes until she was satisfactorily mud-free. It was no replacement for a proper bath but it would have to do for now. With that done, she patted herself off and marched over to where the toad had been and sat down on a patch of moss to try and dry off.

She wanted to cry. She was wet, hurt, lost and confused, but most importantly, completely alone. Not just in the sense that she'd been separated from her friends but in the sense that she felt like she didn't have any to begin with.

It had finally settled into her that the other gods and goddesses must have hated her, with the hopeful exception of Eris and now she was starting to doubt just how much her mortal friends actually liked her, or if they just faked it because she was occasionally useful. Then she thought back on the other heroes that she'd sent out to this world and others like it. She considered some of them to be her friends once, long ago. But they had all moved on and left her behind. Even some of her divine friends had chosen to become mortal and moved on as well. But why? Why did everyone always have to leave?

Aqua had never been one for self-reflection, there was no pretending otherwise, but now that she found herself alone with her thoughts she started to make a connection that she'd never considered before. All of her mortal friends, the heroes of old that she'd allowed herself to form bonds with, had been from a long time ago. With the sole exception of Kazuma, whom she'd been essentially forced to bond with, she couldn't think of a single mortal that she'd reincarnated in the past few hundred years. Without realizing it, she'd been gradually putting up a sort of barrier between herself and others, shutting them out and not allowing herself to form any new attachments to mortals. She was on the verge of an epiphany regarding her feelings of detachment and mourning built up by eons of continuous loss.

"Oh, hey, an egg!"

Unfortunately, she also had the attention span of a goldfish.

Aqua walked over and picked up the small, round object that she'd just spotted on the ground under where the toad had been sitting. It wasn't a toad egg, though. The shell was hard and white, with an almost teardrop shape to it.

"A chicken egg?" Aqua wondered aloud. "No, there shouldn't be any chickens up here and it's not a toad egg. But that would only leave…"

Aqua's eyes widened with excitement as it dawned on her (incorrectly) what she was holding.

"A dragon egg!"

She pulled the egg close to her bosom and reached her divine senses out to feel what was inside. She could tell that it was close to hatching but didn't seem quite as healthy or as strong as it should have. So, she poured some of her mana into the embryo to help it. At once, she could feel the unborn creature stir within, taking the mana within itself and growing. It wasn't quite ready to hatch yet, so she stuffed it away in her cleavage for safekeeping. Normally this would not be a safe place to store an egg but Aqua was Aqua.

"Don't worry, little one. Mama's going to take good care of you."

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

Kazuma would have run for the hills if there were any hills to run to. Unfortunately, they were trapped on what was functionally a small island and the big angry dragon would be able to chase them anywhere they tried to flee, so there was no point in doing anything but just trying to stay the hell out of its way while supporting his party members from the shadows. He wasn't such a coward that he would try to run while his teammates were still in danger.

Okay, so he was that much of a coward but he wasn't sure that Ladonis wouldn't catch him anyway, even with Lurk. That dragon was on a whole different level than anything they'd ever fought before and now they didn't even have their healbot to bail them out of trouble.

Kazuma and Yunyun were spamming their strongest spells at Ladonis while Darkness and Elsie distracted him. Kazuma got in an occasional Snipe but that seemed even less effective than his stronger allies' attacks. Most concerning, however, was that he'd lost track of Megumin. That always seemed to lead to disaster.

"Lightning kick!" Ladonis unleashed a flurry of electrified blows at Darkness, who tanked them with her usual overenthusiasm while Elsie dodged to the side and ran behind him.

"Sneak Attack!" Elsie called out as she ran up the dragon's tail and slashed at him with her scythe. That wasn't actually the name of one of her skills, she was just bad at stealth.

Ladonis responded with a backflip, knocking her off of him and then punching her into the ground. What was even up with this dragon's fighting style, anyway?

"You might as well give up now," the dragon said as he shrugged off another Light of Saber from Yunyun. "You don't stand a chance against The Great Ladonis!"

"I'm afraid that he may be right," Darkness said, leaning against her sword. "He's just too strong for us. All of you, run! I'll stay behind and cover you. This dragon can do whatever perverse actions that he wants to me but I won't give in!"

How many times do I have to tell you to STOP THAT?" Ladonis begged. "I'm not into that sort of thing! Especially not with a human, how would that even work?"

"I can think of five good ways." Darkness smiled like a creep.

"Of course, you can," Ladonis sighed. "But it's still not happening."

While Ladonis was distracted by that, Elsie started climbing up his back. He flicked her off his shoulder before she could attack, though, and she went flying through the woods.

"Yeah, I think we're going to have to take our losses and go," Kazuma said, dropping his Lurk and stepping forward with his hands over his head in a universal (he hoped) sign of surrender. "We're sorry to have bothered you, Mr. Great Ladonis, but we needed those Golden Apples to pay off a very important debt. It looks like we'll just have to let our mage get executed, though. Sorry, Keima."

Kazuma, of course, was not actually planning on leaving this place empty-handed. He just needed to coax this insane dragon into 'showing' them the apples so that he could quickly Steal them and run away with Flee. There was no chance of Steal backfiring and stealing the dragon's underwear as, despite his eccentricities, he was as nude as you'd expect. Plus, that only happened when he used it on women and this thing was definitely male. Now, all he had to do was-

"Darkness, blacker than black!" Damn it, Megumin! Where even was that chuuni explosion maniac? "Crimson, redder than red! Combine together and become a legend that will pierce through the heavens and go beyond the reach of the stars! Twist reality into an endless nightmare that will be spoken of for generations of generations!"

Ladonis looked around for the source of the grating voice while everyone else booked it out of there before she finished her ad-libbed chant.

"The whole world shall know the name Megumin! For that is the name of the Mistress of Explosions, the Queen of Destruction, Protege of Violence and Sloth, who will destroy all in her way and forge her own path to glory!"

"There you are!" The dragon turned its gaze up, to where Megumin was standing atop a particularly thick branch. Apparently, she must have been climbing a tree while everybody else was risking their lives in battle, just to get a good casting spot. Kazuma would have been angry if it wasn't working. Actually, he was angry about it anyway.

"In brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shall escape my sight! Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power! Explosion's might!"

It was then that Kazuma realized that they were all standing in a very old, very flammable forest.

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

Aqua trudged her way through the forest, hating every minute of it. She was just about ready to call it quits and wait (crying) for the others to come get her when she heard a familiar voice screaming in the wind. Then Elsie flew into a tree nearby and Aqua rushed over to her.

"Heal!" Aqua cast as she helped the demon girl to her feet. "Are you alright?"

"But Mother Inferior, I don't want to clean all the bathrooms in Hell," Elsie mumbled before coming back to her senses. "Oh, whoa, bad flashback. What happened?"

"I'm guessing you got sent flying by that dragon like I did," Aqua explained. "Wait, did you really have to clean all the bathrooms in hell?"

"By hand," Elsie grumbled. "Worst week of my life, and all I did was knock over a stupid vase. Sure, King Asmodeus was inside of it and it took the whole capture squad to seal him away again, but still. I was only, like, seventy-five. Practically still a baby."

"Man, demons are the worst." Aqua started to nod, then stopped as she remembered who she was talking to. "Um, present company excluded, of course."

"I knew what you meant." Elsie shrugged it off. "So, um, how do we get back to the others from here?"

"Beats me." Aqua shrugged.

The loud explosion rocked the forest, sending a shockwave of air and the smell of smoke blowing their way.

"That way!" both girls said in unison and took off.

"You know," Elsie noted as they ran, "smart people would probably be running away from a big explosion."

"Then I guess it's a good thing that we're not smart!" Aqua's smile faded. "...wait…"

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

When the two finally burst out into the desolate clearing that had once been the section of woods where they'd been fighting, they found Kazuma, Keima and Yunyun trying to put out flames with Create Water while Darkness smothered burning bushes with her body. Megumin was lying on her back beside what had once been a tree while the dragon lay prostrate before the smoldering remains of the golden apple tree.

"You maniacs!" Ladonis punched the ground in frustration. "You blew it up! Damn you! You blew it all to hell!"

"This is one hundred percent Megumin's fault!" Kazuma screamed angrily over the roaring flames. "The rest of us had no part in this!"

"This is awful!" Aqua looked around at the burning forest. "Here, let me help! Sacred Create Water!"

As Aqua turned herself into a human(oid) fire hydrant, Elsie shuffled up to her adoptive brother.

"Hey! Hey, Keima!" she whisper-shouted to him.

"Don't," he grumbled back.

"You know what we could use right now?" she continued.

"I said don't."

"My fire engine!"

Keima sighed and turned to her, still firing a stream of water from the end of his wand.

"Then I guess it's too bad that we left it back at the cliff, isn't it?"

"Or did we?" Elsie waggled her eyebrows suggestively, reaching a hand into the pocket of her surcoat.

"We did," Keima insisted.

"Or did we!?" Elsie pulled out her truck keys and fumbled around with them before pressing a button on the fob.

As if by magic, which it most certainly was, the firetruck manifested in the air nearby, about a foot off the ground, and fell onto the ashen soil with a loud thud.

"Of course," Keima grumbled as he walked over to the fire truck with her. "But how, pray tell, do you plan on actually using this thing? Fire trucks don't have their own water, do they? The firefighters have to hook it up to a fire hydrant."

"That's where you're wrong," Elsie corrected him. "Many fire engines do have their own water tanks, though the size does vary depending on the model. This baby's got a four-hundred-liter primary tank, which should be plenty. Although, you have given me an idea. Hey, Aqua!"

"What?" Aqua called back to her.

"Can I borrow you for a sec'? I have a plan!"

"Sure!"

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

Of all the things that Aqua may have expected to do that day, getting hooked up to a fire truck to put out a forest fire was not one of them. It certainly did speed up the process, though, and soon the last dying flames had been doused. The forest was still a mess but at least the damage had already been done.

The party, sans Megumin who'd been put in timeout in the truck, gathered around the grieving dragon who turned to them with narrowed eyes and a look of utter contempt.

"What do you want, bastards?" Ladonis growled.

"Look, we're, um, sorry about blowing up your tree and whatever," Kazuma apologized weakly while scratching the back of his head. "We didn't exactly mean for this to happen, but…"

"But you still want the apples." The dragon looked like he wanted to bite Kazuma's head off and the boy reflexively took a step back while Darkness placed herself in front of him. Ladonis continued to glare for a moment before sighing and grabbing something off the ground. "Fine, just take them. Take them and leave. Never come back."

Darkness accepted the blackened objects that Ladonis held out. Rubbing her finger along the surface, she wiped some of the soot off to reveal the dim golden surface underneath. Two apples, somehow still connected by a twig.

"Thank you." Keima stepped forward and gave a gracious bow before standing straight. "And we are very sorry about what happened. That girl's a maniac and honestly, I don't know why we keep her on the team."

"I'm really starting to question that myself," Kazuma shook his head. "More trouble than she's worth, sometimes. Then again, that's this whole party in a nutshell."

"She's not that bad," Yunyun protested on her friend's behalf. "...usually."

"Go!" Ladonis roared, a spout of fire issuing forth from his mouth.

"Right, right, we're on it," Kazuma ran off towards Elsie's truck and the others followed.

Everyone except Aqua, that is. She absently walked over to the burnt remains of the golden apple tree, which still stood proudly above all others in the forest. Her primary domain as a goddess was water but she was also a fertility goddess, which meant that this was still close enough to her domain. She placed her hand gently against the blackened bark and poured out some of her mana into it. Putting out the fires had taken a lot out of her but she still had more that she could give. She could feel the weakened tree regain some of its strength and fresh leaves began to grow out near the top. The great tree was still on its last legs, there was nothing that even she could do to prevent its demise, but it should be enough for now. She could also feel the egg tucked away in her bosom siphoning some of the magical energy but that was acceptable.

"This tree will bear fruit again." Aqua turned to Ladonis and motioned for him to rise. Hesitantly, he did so. "Continue to watch over it until it does, noble guardian. Then, gather all the seeds you can. Plant one here, where it will grow to rival the old tree. Then you will travel the world, planting each of the remaining seeds wherever you find suitable. They will not thrive as well outside of their native environment, but they will grow and they will survive. They have the blessings of a goddess, after all."

Ladonis' eyes suddenly widened in recognition and for a moment, he saw not the blue-haired woman before him, but an ancient, draconic figure that he'd heard spoken of in legends long ago when he was still but a hatchling. "Mother Tethys?"

"That is the name that I was once known by among your kin, in an age long past," she nodded with a smile. "But nowadays I just go by Aqua."

"It… it is an honor to meet you, my goddess." Ladonis bowed his head in supplication. "I will do as you say."

The moment was interrupted, however, by Elsie began honking her fire engine's horn and Kazuma leaned out a window.

"Yo! Aqua! Get your fat ass in here or we're leaving without you!"

"My ass is not fat!" Aqua yelled back at him, any image of divine authority fading in an instant as she returned to her usual self. She started to run off, before turning back to the blue dragon for a moment. "Remember to sign up for the Axis Order whenever you get the chance! Oh, and I'm taking your egg as payment for my services. Bye!"

Ladonis watched awkwardly as Aqua jumped into the truck and they drove off without another word. He blinked a few times with his nictitating membrane as he tried to process everything that had just happened at once. "What egg?"

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

Kazuma walked back to his seat and sat down as Aqua buckled herself in next to him and Elsie drove into the distance. Once they were all settled in, he turned to Darkness who was busy cleaning off the golden apples.

"Well, that was a mess," he said. "But at least we got what we came here for. It almost feels a shame, I was looking forward to Keima's execution."

He could almost feel the other boy's death glare from the front passenger seat, though he didn't bother looking in his direction. Instead, he turned his focus to Megumin, preparing to chew her out. However, before he could open his mouth again, she spoke up first.

"Hey, Aqua? Why are your boobs shaking?"

Kazuma turned his gaze to the breasts in question and, sure enough, they seemed to be twitching and fidgeting. That wasn't normal, was it? While Kazuma was certainly an admirer of the female form he didn't exactly have much experience on the subject despite (or rather, because of) his best efforts. Aqua, for her part, seemed confused at first as she looked down, then suddenly beamed and plunged her hand into her dress to pull out… a chicken egg? Where the hell did she get that?

"Ooh, ooh, ohh! It's hatching!" Aqua said, holding the egg up in front of her face. "My dragon egg!"

"That's not a…" Kazuma started to say. "Oh, forget it."

A crack formed along the surface of the shell, followed by another. Soon, a small beak poked out through a hole and a newborn chick burst its way out, the top of the shell falling on its head like a little hat.

"What a cute baby chick," Yunyun leaned over from the other end of the truck.

"Agreed, but why did you have that with you?" Darkness asked.

"I found him in the woods," Aqua explained. "I think I'm going to call him… Kingsford Zeltman! Emperor Zel for short."

"Peep!" the chick chirped in response, as if in approval.

"Ah, that's my little adorable baby dragon," Aqua cooed and proceeded to rub the yellow hatchling against her cheek.

"That's clearly a chicken," Kazuma pointed out.

"No, he isn't!" Aqua argued while Emporer Zel hissed at him. "He's a dragon!"

"He's got a bald spot on his butt," Megumin giggled.

"Hey, guys!" Elsie called back nervously from the front. "You might want to make sure that you're all buckled in safely. I might have kind of forgotten that we were on the back of a giant turtle."

"Elsie, you idiot!" Keima yelled from beside her mere moments before everyone suddenly realized what she was talking about.

Everyone began to panic as the fire engine drove off the side of the tortoise's shell and they started to fall.

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

Kazuma walked into the Adventurer's Guild that evening putting on a fake show of confidence as he held up the literal fruits of their labors. In reality, he just wanted to curl up in bed and forget that the day had ever happened. A round of cheers filled the hall as people looked over and noticed the golden apples in his hand but he didn't pay it any attention as he marched over to an empty table along with the rest of his party. Once he'd sat down, he handed the apples and quest notice over to Keima to turn them in at the reception desk. Kazuma really wasn't in the mood to deal with anything right now, and technically it was his quest in the first place.

Darkness ordered their meals while Aqua took a seat across from Kazuma and the two Crimson Demon Girls sat together at the other end of the table. A certain baby chick that very definitely wasn't a dragon was placed on the table and chirped happily as Aqua petted him with her finger.

"Who's Mama's precious little boy?" Aqua asked in a babyish voice. "That's right, you are!"

Kazuma slumped onto the table, his mental fortitude finally giving out. He felt something tug at his hair and he looked up to see Emperor Zel pulling at it with his beak. He could already tell that this bird was going to be a nuisance. But then again, given who his 'Mama' was, that wasn't much of a surprise. Kazuma simply sighed and put his head back down.

He really needed to find a way to unwind after this.

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

In the next exciting chapter of God's Blessing, God Knows: A Wake-Up Call For This Pent-Up Fool!

Keima looked up from his game, a sour look on his face. Kazuma had spent the best years of his life holed up in a room playing games almost non-stop, even prided himself in how much time he would spend on them, but even he didn't think that he could do as much Keima. He'd even heard from Elsie that she'd seen him play on at least a dozen different consoles at once for extended periods when given the chance. Life goals, right there.

The succubus shop was… exactly what he expected it to be like. God knows he'd never been to a strip club before but he knew what he was looking at. Rose-tinted lighting, jazzy music in the background and dozens of mildly demonic-looking women of all body types and hair colors dressed, if you could call it that, in a variety of skimpy fetish outfits that covered around 5~30% of their bodies. They were the worst kind of women. 3D women.

"Hey, can it with the evil laughter." Kazuma stooped over the divider between their stalls and Keima clammed up instantly. His eyes grew wide and he let out a whistle as he saw what was on the form he was filling out, thankfully Keima's actual one and not the other. "Whoohoohoo! You're an even bigger perv than I thought, Keima. We'll make a proper lech out of you, yet."

Author's Notes: Long live the Emperor! Technically this Emperor Zel isn't the same character as in canon since Aqua found this egg much earlier and under different circumstances than in the books, though. Either way, Aqua now has her very own dragon(?) who will surely grow up to be a majestic and powerful creature who will strike fear in the hearts of men and play an instrumental role in the Devil King's defeat! Right? RIGHT!?

I also spent some time developing Aqua's characterization for this fic. My direction for the character is that once, long, long ago, she was actually reasonably competent and basically the image of what you'd expect a goddess like Aqua to be. However, countless millennia have worn her down into the goofy, useless goddess that we know and love. Being more connected to the mortals around you, who have such fleeting lives, than the other gods and goddesses will have that effect, I imagine. But maybe, just maybe, there will be a way to bring some of the old Aqua back to the forefront. Or maybe something will send her on a new path in life? You'll just have to wait and see.