Chapter 19: A Day Out In This Town Of Demons!
Keima woke up to something hard pressing against his face. He stirred from his restless sleep with a groan and opened his eyes to see a stick poking him in the cheek. On the other end of that stick was a small hand that was attached to a little girl with bright red eyes and dark hair tied back in twin pigtails. If he remembered correctly, she was Megumin's little sister, Komekko.
"Stop that." Keima swatted the stick aside as he forced himself to sit up. It felt like he had a headache, except it encompassed his entire body.
"Oh, hey, you're awake," the girl said. "You're Miss Yunyun's boyfriend, right? Everyone's been looking for you."
Hazy memories of the previous night filtered into his brain. They'd come to the Crimson Demon Village, the chief had declared that he and Yunyun were engaged and he'd left to go clear his head. There was something after that, something important, but he couldn't think of what it was.
…Wait, he was engaged? How the hell did that happen? Nevermind, he could stress about that later.
"Where are we?" Keima asked as he looked around. It seemed like they were in some kind of ancient temple. One that didn't look like it saw much upkeep.
"I dunno," Komekko shrugged. "No one comes here anymore, so I've been coming here to play! It's not as fun as the other place but I'm not supposed to play there anymore."
Keima tried to stand up but his legs gave out before he could get to his feet. He just felt so tired and worn out.
"You look like you've got Mana Drain," Komekko said. "That used to happen to Big Sis a lot after she learned her big boom spell."
Right, he'd used a lot of magic yesterday including a few Advanced-level spells. No wonder he felt so drained. Even if he'd had enough skill points to learn the spells, he still didn't have the stats to back them up since he was still just the basic Wizard class. He was going to have to finally get around to promoting to Arch Wizard if he wanted to remain effective.
Keima pulled out his Adventurer Card and tapped the class selection. A list of specialized and advanced classes that he met the stat requirements for popped up. His finger hovered over the Arch Wizard option near the top of the list but he hesitated on selecting it. He had quite a few options available to choose from, so he decided to at least skim them over. Perhaps choosing a more specialized class would help him to be more useful in a party that already had two (really more like one and a half) other Arch Wizards. Plus, he was still on Crimson Demon brain so the idea of picking some rare, exclusive class that would make him stand out more was appealing in its own right.
"Hey, do you know anything about Advanced Classes?" he asked Komekko, knowing that it would be a long shot.
"Nope," she answered cheerily, to his complete lack of surprise.
He turned back to the list of classes, skimming it over again. There were a few classes that stood out to him on the list but without more information, it was impossible to know which he should pick so he ultimately decided to just stick with the basics.
With two taps of the magic paper, his class selection was done and Keima found himself filled with a surge of power that reminded him of when he'd first become a Wizard back in his first day in this hell. His fatigue washed away in an instant as his magic reserves grew near exponentially and while his physical strength may not have gone up much, he could already tell even without looking at his stats that his magic could pack a lot more power than before.
"We should probably head back to the village," Keima said as he rose to his feet, now able to walk around just fine. "You said the others were looking for me, right?"
"Yep." Komekko marched dutifully after him. "Big Sis said that you probably ran away but Miss Yunyun and Miss Elsie were up all night looking for you. They're at my house now, taking a nap."
Well, that was just great. As if he couldn't feel any worse. He was probably going to have to come up with some way to try and make it up to them, wasn't he?
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
It didn't take as long as Keima expected to reach Megumin's family home, since it turned out that they lived in an old house outside of the village itself. Although 'house' was a rather generous term for the run-down old shack. At least it looked comfortably large.
"I'm home!" Komekko called as she slid the door open and ran inside. "And I found the deadbeat!"
"What did you just call me?" Keima snapped at her.
There was a loud crash followed by two heavy sets of footsteps before a pair of girls rushed into the hallway to greet them. Keima was practically tackled to the ground by his sister, though at least his fiancée had enough sense to stay back…
…Fiancée? That just sounded wrong.
"Keima, Keima, Keima!" Elsie yelled, apparently taking a page out of Aqua's book. "Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you!"
"Y-you had me worri- I mean you had us really worried," Yunyun stammered nervously.
"I just went to get some air." Keima pulled his sister off of him. "I was still drained from using too much MP yesterday, though, so I guess I must have fallen asleep in some old temple. I don't remember much after I left."
"Don't run off like that!" Elsie pushed him, only to get pushed back.
"And here I thought you got cold feet and ran away." Megumin had also slipped into the room at some point. "If you didn't show up soon, I was going to have to hunt you down and make you pay for breaking my frie- my rival's heart. Only I'm allowed to do that."
That comment just got Yunyun to stammer even more.
"Look, I'm sorry." Keima already felt done with this. "It's not like I planned to be gone for more than an hour or two. Look, this town must have a restaurant or cafe or something, right? Come on, I'll treat you to breakfast to make up for it."
"Can Komekko come, too?" Megumin immediately asked.
"Sure," Keima answered hesitantly. He had only meant that invitation for Elsie and Yunyun but he wasn't so cold-hearted as to exclude a young, seemingly lonely and very hungry-looking girl. And he supposed that meant he had to let Megumin come along too. He wasn't exactly hurting for eris at the moment but this was still going to put more of a dent in his wallet than he'd care for. "Wait, where are your parents?"
"Oh, they're out trying to sell the crap our dad makes," Megumin replied. "They're usually only here during the weekends."
Keima glanced down at Komekko, then back to Megumin. "Wait, so if they're always out of town and you're living with us, who takes care of your sister?"
"I take care of myself!" Komekko declared proudly while her older sister stared down at the floor uncomfortably.
"Well, it's not like I can take care of a kid when I'm out adventuring," Megumin said defensively.
"We live in a mansion!" Keima pointed out. "And if you need a babysitter, you could probably just get Wiz or Luna or someone to watch her while we're out!"
Megumin opened her mouth to argue but no words came out. After a few seconds, she closed it again and turned to her sister.
"Hey, 'Mekko, how'd you like to move in with us?"
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
Everyone seemed to be feeling better once they had a bit of food in their stomachs, which was a big relief for Yunyun. She didn't like it when her friends were agitated. But now they were all sitting around a table at the village's foremost (read: only) diner, the Deadly Poison Café, and chatting pleasantly while they ate. Though Megumin seemed to be putting a definite strain on Keima's generosity with how much she was ordering, and Komekko was eating at least as much as everyone else combined.
While Keima and Elsie talked about the café their mother owned, Yunyun couldn't help but fixate on the small clump of rice that had gotten stuck to Keima's chin as he was eating. He didn't seem to have noticed it yet, since he hadn't wiped it off or anything and was going on like it wasn't there. Five and a half grains of moist white rice, just hanging there. Should she point it out to him? Or maybe try scratching her own chin in the same spot the next time he looked over at her, to let him know without drawing attention to it? Or… or maybe she should… should reach over and… reach over and wipe it off, herself. They were promised to each other now, even if her father had made that decision without either of their consent, which meant that sort of behavior could be expected of her now, in her role as his wife.
…She was going to be his wife… and he would be her husband. Yunyun's mind was still whirling at that shocking development and her heart felt like a swarm of butterflies were fluttering around her stomach. When her father had declared that the previous day, she'd been mostly embarrassed and a bit confused. But now that she'd had time to think it over, she'd decided that she really did like like Keima that way and was excited about being able to share the rest of her life with him as her partner and chief consort. She was going to be the best darn wife she could be, pardon her language.
Of course, she was also only fourteen so her judgment on such matters was completely lacking, to put it nicely.
With that, she made up her mind. She was going to reach over and wipe that rice off with her finger, leaning over the table to give him a good view, and then make a big show of licking it off. Yeah, that seemed like a good idea. Or maybe she could just lick it off him, directly? No, that would be too much, at least when they were in public like this. Maybe in private? Wait, could they… do stuff, now? They weren't technically married yet but with a formal betrothal, they might as well have been and it wasn't that uncommon for couples in their position to… to… to kiss… and hold hands… and… and… and…
"Hey, Yunyun, you alright? You're looking kind of red over there." Megumin's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Huh-wha?" Yunyun let out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding, as she suddenly snapped back to reality.
"Hey, bro, you got something on your chin," Elsie pointed out, prompting Keima to wipe off the rice and set it on his plate.
And just like that, all of Yunyun's fantasies went up in a poof of smoke, like a fire resistance potion that had been boiled for too long. Her disappointment was immeasurable and her day was ruined. She would have to find a way to make up for this later.
Possibly involving her mouth…
and his mouth…
touching…
"Hey, you're turning red again."
"I'm fine!" Yunyun snapped to attention. Clearly, this was not the time to be thinking thoughts.
"Okay…" Keima said awkwardly with a glance in her direction before turning serious. "Anyway, what's the plan for today?"
"Well," Yunyun began, "I was thinking we could visit the Red Prison and I could introduce you to all of my old friends."
"Yeah, it would be fun to brag about our mighty accomplishments to Arue and the others," Megumin nodded.
"Wait, your old friends are all in jail?" Keima asked, clearly alarmed.
"Yes." Megumin smirked.
"No," Yunyun shook her head. "The Red Prison is the school we used to go to. It's where all Crimson Demons learn about how to use magic before we get the skill points for it."
Her sort-of boyfriend just gave both girls a flat look. "Okay, I may not agree with a lot of Crimson Demon antics but most of it at least makes some level of sense if viewed through the right mindset. But Red Prison? Wouldn't it make more sense to call it something like the Arcane Academia or maybe Scholomance of Sorcery? Domdaniel of Domination? Uomo University? Hogwarts? School of Infinite Wisdom? Hell's Hauptschule? Seminary of the Damned? College of the Magical Arts? Why can I come up with so many of these off the top of my head?"
"I don't know what half those words mean but they sound so cool!" Megumin's eyes lit up with excitement. "You should bring those up with the headmaster!"
"No."
Elsie let out a groan as she rested her head on the table. "I tried to get into the Scholomance but my application got rejected because my grades weren't good enough. How cool would it have been to get my own dragon and learn how to control the weather."
"Um, so are we going?" Yunyun asked, trying to steer the conversation back on track.
"Yeah, sure," Keima shrugged.
"No, school's boring," Elsie whined.
"Yeah! School boring!" Komekko crossed her arms seriously.
"You're not even in school yet."
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
"Welcome to the ultimate academy of magical education, the Red Prison!" An old man with red-tinted glasses and a long gray beard slammed his cane into the ground in front of the school's main gate. "I… am the headmaster of this fine establishment, the one who presides over the educations of every member of the clan's rising generation! What brings you to this… Oh, Megumin, Yunyun! I didn't even recognize you two. Welcome back! And I see you brought a friend."
"Hello, headmaster." Yunyun bowed her head nervously, tightly gripping the ends of her baggy black sleeves. Megumin had decided to try on her old school uniform for the occasion and pressured Yunyun into doing the same. It actually didn't look half bad on her, Keima had to admit, being a sort of cross between a western-style school uniform and wizard robes. It also showed off significantly less skin, which he viewed as a bonus.
"Ah ha, if it isn't our former warden!" Megumin spread her arms out to the sides, with one angled up and the other down. "I see that you have not been deposed from your position yet."
"No, no I haven't," the headmaster chuckled. "But not for lack of effort on Pucchin's part. I have to constantly keep my guard up. Speaking of which, he and your old classmates should be in the middle of a lesson right now. Normally, I would lay my life on the line to prevent any and all intruders from trespassing on these unhollowed grounds in the middle of school but I think we can make an exception just this once. But first, who's this friend of yours?"
All eyes were now on Keima, which meant that he had no choice. He thrust his right hand beside his face with the palm turned away while his other arm was crossed over his torso. "I am Keima Katsuragi, the God of Conquest and future consort to the next Chief of the Crimson Demons!"
That sent the old man into a coughing fit and Keima could almost see his eyes widen behind those thick lenses.
"Future consort… Yunyun, did you get a boyfriend?" the headmaster asked in alarm.
"Um, well, sort of," she stammered and refused to make eye contact. "We're engaged."
"A forbidden romance," Keima added for extra theatrics even though not a word of that was true.
"The chief set it up," Megumin grumbled, then muttered under her breath. "Only way she could get a boyfriend before I do."
"Ah, I see." The headmaster adjusted his glasses before stepping to the side and gesturing for them to make their way to the school's front door. "Well, I'm sure that your classmates will be excited to hear the news."
Keima followed the girls inside. Before he stepped inside the building, though, he overheard the old man make one final comment that he knew he wasn't supposed to catch.
"How did Yunyun of all people manage to land a man that quickly?"
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
"Ooh, what's this?" Elsie asked as she walked up to a large, roughly-cut pedestal with an ornate sword sticking out of it that boasted a blue handle and white, wing-like crossguards.
"This… is The Sword with a Rock in It!" Komekko declared proudly with a flourish of her cape, acting as Elsie's tour guide. "I mean, The Rock with a Sword in It! They say that it is the cursed holy sword with no name that will grant 'e-mes-rable' power to the chosen one who can pull it from the rock!"
"So cool!" Elsie said, approaching the blade. "Wait, how can it be cursed and holy? Holy items are immune to curses and cursed items can't be blessed with breaking the curse."
"I dunno," the girl shrugged. "I was just reading that sign over there."
Elsie looked over to the old wooden sign nailed to one of the walls of the rickety old cover built to help shield the sword and stone from the weather. Sure enough, it said pretty much exactly what Komekko had, though a bit more embellished.
"Alright then, here we go." Elsie planted her feet firmly on either side of the rock and grabbed the winged sword by the handle with both hands. She took a deep breath before pulling the sword up with all of her might. She felt like she nearly threw her back out yet the blade did not budge an inch. "Well, so much for that."
It seemed that she was not the chosen one destined to wield the cursed holy sword, which she found a bit disappointing. But then again, she was primarily a scythe-wielder, anyway, so it probably wouldn't have done her that much good. What she didn't know, of course, was that the sword was just a trick meant to draw in tourists. But she probably wouldn't have cared either way.
"Well, where to next?" Elsie asked her tour guide.
"Um…" Komekko scratched her head, trying to figure out what the funnest place to visit next might be. "I don't know, we've already been everywhere I like to play."
"Huh, okay then." Elsie scratched her head, trying to figure out what else to do. "Um, I guess we could go shopping? I'm curious what kinds of stuff you can buy in a village like this."
"But you need money to go shopping," Komekko pointed out.
"I have money."
Elsie pulled out the leather pouch that she kept her eris in, causing Komekko's eyes to widen and start to shine as she saw just how full it was. It made Elsie sad to realize just how poor Megumin and Komekko's family must have been that a small bag of spending money would seem so impressive to the young girl. She was definitely going to buy the girl some candy. And also get some for herself.
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
"And then I used a Dimension Hell Break to kill a pack of One-Punch Bears in my underpants. Why the bears were in my underpants, I'll never know."
Megumin slammed the classroom door open, startling the rambling teacher and his bored students.
"Behold! I, Megumin, the lone prodigal genius of this pathetic class, have returned!"
"You do know that prodigal means wasteful, right?" Keima tried to correct her as the trio entered the classroom but she paid him no mind.
"I-I'm here, too," Yunyun stammered.
"Ah, my two greatest students!" Pucchin stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I see that you have returned to these cursed halls. Could it be that you have realized that you have more to learn from me, Pucchin, the greatest teacher of the Red Prison?"
"HA!" Megumin reared her head back as if looking down on the significantly taller man. "You certainly think highly of yourself, don't you? No, we have come here to share tales of our exploits in the outside world!"
"Hmph, very well." Pucchin nodded impassively. "But first, class, this is the perfect opportunity to practice your introductions! Go!"
A girl with long, spiraling hair stood up and put on an eyepatch that looked identical to the one she had given Megumin when she'd left the village. "My name is Arue, most voluptuous of the Crimson Demons and future bestselling author in all of Belzerg!"
"My name is Funifura!" another of their old classmates stood up and crossed her arms in an 'x'. "The most controversial Crimson Demon, known for her brother complex!"
"My name is Dodonko! The greatest Crimson Demon at… um… I forgot… Wait! My name is Dodonko, the foremost gossip of the Crimson Demons!"
"My name is Nerimaki! Sexiest waitress of the Crimson Demons! Visit the Succubus Lingerie on Tuesdays evenings for half-off your first drink!"
"I am Sansara, um… bearer of the Nine Paws curse?"
"My name is Poritan! The most average Crimson Demon of our generation!"
"My name is Sakiberry! She who will one day discover what the true, sinister purpose of an aglet is!"
"My name is Makoromi! Most aspiring painter of the Crimson Demons!"
"I'm Kaikai! Best Crimson Demon at, um, I'm still working on my intro…"
"Hah, and you call those introductions?" Megumin scoffed once the last student sat down. "I can do better than that in my sleep. For you see, I am no longer simply the foremost genius of our clan and mistress of Explosion Magic, but I am also no she who has slain the Devil King himself! …with a little help from my party, I guess."
"So, the rumors were true," Arue replied, sounding as cool and levelheaded as always. "I suppose congratulations are in order."
"Hey, isn't that the guy from yesterday?" Nerimaki asked, pointing at Keima. "Is it true that you're a god?"
Megumin glared at her party member, annoyed that he could steal the spotlight away from her greatest accomplishment without even doing anything.
"Of course," he said smugly, sounding very un-Keima-like. "I am Keima Katsuragi, the god of Conquest."
"Hey, do you want to get dinner after this?" Dodonko asked, the slut.
"Hey, I saw him first!" Nerimaki countered. "He should go out with me!"
"No fair!" Sakiberry pouted.
Before the battle over who got to hook up with Keima could break out in full, the man in question drew everyone's attention with a crack of thunder.
"I'm not going out with any of you!" he snapped, then wrapped his arm around Yunyun's shoulders, causing the girl to blush. "For the record, I am already taken!"
"K-K-Keima and I are…" Yunyun stammered while trying to shrink away from all the attention suddenly focused on her, "w-we're betrothed."
"WHAT!"
Megumin suddenly found herself bowled over as a gaggle of immature girls swarmed around the happy(?) couple. While the gossipy hens drilled Yunyun and Keima with a million questions, she just laid there with her back on the floor, bemoaning how unfair life was.
"I killed the Devil King," she moaned. "And he was my apprentice before Yunyun took him from me. I should be the one getting praised."
The only one who seemed to notice her distress was her familiar, who hopped onto her chest and stared down at her.
"You think I'm cool. Right, Chomsuke?"
The black kitten responded by biting her nose. At least it was just a soft, playful nibble.
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
Komekko licked the sugary residue off her fingers as she and her new best friend walked through the market district. She'd never had so many sweets in her entire life before! Unfortunately, their time in the candy store had just come to a close and now Elsie was headed to the clothes store. Komekko had never actually set foot in this shop before, since all her clothes were Megumin's old hand-me-downs, most of which were in turn originally their mom's.
"Welcome!" Mister Chekera popped out from behind a counter with one arm raised skyward while the other fluffed out his red and gold cape. "I am Chekera, the Crimson Demons' greatest tailor and owner of the most prestigious clothing shop in the village! Feel free to browse to your heart's content!"
"And I am Elsie, the strongest Dark Knight in Axel and hero of justice!" Elsie didn't miss a beat, marking her introduction by popping her hips out to the side and crossing her arms in an 'X' in front of her chest. "What wares might you have for a warrior of my caliber?"
"Oh, HO!" Chekera relaxed his posture and gave the tourist a look of approval. "You know, I just finished a cape that would be absolutely splendid with your armor. Come on, I've got it hanging in the back."
Elsie and Komekko followed the shopkeeper out the back door and out into the yard, where more cloaks and capes than Komekko had ever seen in one place before were hanging from several drying rods that had been set up. Most of them were the same type that her big sis wore, though one silky black cape stood out in particular among all the others.
"Behold! My finest creation (this week)!" The tailor proclaimed proudly as he held the cape up for Elsie to get a good look, though he only mumbled the last part. "Made from the finest imported Beginner's Bane fur!"
"It's so pretty." Elsie ran her hand along the velvety black fur. "I'll take it!"
While the demon and tailor haggled on the price, Komekko found herself looking at the clothes rod that the clack fur cape had been hanging from. Rather than the simple wooden poles that she was used to, this one was metal and looked strange, with a hole at one end and a larger hole at the other, plus a ring along a curved section near the larger end.
"What's this?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"Ooh, you like that?" Chekara asked her as the portly man accepted a large handful of coins from a rather disgruntled-looking Elsie. "This one-of-a-kind drying pole has been passed down my family for generations! It doesn't even rust!"
"Hey, wait, is that a gun?" Elsie stepped over, folding up her new purchase in her arms. "Yeah, that's totally a rifle!"
"What's a 'rie-ful'?" Komekko wondered aloud.
"So, you've seen one of these before?" Chekara asked. "Legend has it that this thing was built by our clan's founder. That's about all I know about it, though."
"Huh, strange." Elsie shrugged it off, then turned to Komekko. "Come on, let's go see what the others are up to. I'm, uh, kind of out of cash now."
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
After finishing their tour of the Red Prison and managing to pry themselves away from the pack of excitable schoolgirls, Keima and the others ended up heading back to Yunyun's house. The evening was growing late and the girl wanted to get started on making dinner for everyone. He'd offered to help but Yunyun insisted that he was still just a guest and didn't need to worry about it. That didn't seem to stop her from dragging Megumin in to help cook, though.
Keima leaned back on a couch and closed his eyes, content to just relax for a while. After a few minutes, though, the front door opened and two pairs of footsteps came marching in.
"The little sister brigade has returned!" Komekko declared triumphantly. "I smell food!"
The tiny terror ran into the kitchen while Elsie made her way over to Keima.
"Hey, bro!" she said cheerily. "Quick question… Can I borrow some cash, I kind of blew all my spending money today."
Keima groaned and glared at her angrily but still pulled out his wallet and handed his sister some eris. "You should have brought more."
"I didn't think about it when we were packing," she explained.
"We didn't pack," Keima pointed out. "We just teleported straight here."
"Exactly!"
Keima opened his mouth to reply but ended up closing it again. They really should have spent more time getting ready for this trip, they didn't even bring any spare clothes to change into. But he was quickly pulled from his thoughts as Chief Hiropon walked into the room.
"Ah, something smells good." The village chief mused, rubbing his belly. "Been too long since I've had a home-cooked meal. Oh, Keima, just the man I wanted to see! Come, I'd like a word with you in private. Follow me into my hurt locker."
Keima just stared at his self-appointed future father-in-law as the man in the spiked leather choker walked off into the other room motioning for him to follow. How exactly was he supposed to respond to that?
"That's what he calls his office," Yunyun explained helpfully, poking her head out from the kitchen.
Ah, that made sense. At least by Crimson Demon logic. Keima stretched as he stood up and followed after the chief.
"Ooh, you're in trou~ble!" Elsie teasingly called after him.
Hiropon's office proved to be a relatively plain-looking room. A few full bookcases along the wall, some drawers that were no doubt filled with important documents regarding the village's history and legal proceedings, a large mahogany desk with a few comfortable-looking chairs around it, that sort of thing. Hiropon himself was seated behind the desk with his hands steepled together in front of his face like he was Gendo Ikari or something. Behind him, though, was the focal point of the room.
The large oil painting took up nearly the full wall, depicting a noticeably younger Hiropon holding up a baby Lion King-style while a scantily clad woman who looked like an older Yunyun desperately threw herself at his feet. Presumably, it was a family portrait, Crimson Demon-style.
Keima took a seat opposite Hiropon and clasped his hands together. After a moment, the chief finally spoke up.
"I realize that I probably put you on the spot yesterday and for that, I'd like to apologize," Chief Hiropon said earnestly. "As I'm sure that you probably know well by now, my precious Yunyun is a very quiet girl who has a lot of trouble interacting with people. While I know that she'll eventually learn to grow out of it and become more responsible, I've been worried about her romantic prospects. So when she started talking about you in her letters, I may have jumped the gun a bit upon hearing that she finally had a boy friend, even if not a boyfriend."
"So, does that mean that you're going to call off the engagement?" Keima asked.
Hiropon leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh. "If that's what you both want, then yes. Technically, there isn't actually anything official yet. But I would ask that you at least consider it. I may be biased as her father but Yunyun's a great girl who I'm sure will make a great wife and mother one day, but I'm worried about her. With how desperate she is to make friends, I can't help but be concerned that she could, well, fall in with some unsavory types. That's why I was so quick to try and set you two up. You seem like a responsible young man with a good head on your shoulders, you've shown that you're willing to respect our people's culture, and she clearly likes you."
Keima sat back and considered the offer. "Very well, but I hope you don't expect anything soon."
"Of course not," Hiropon waved off the idea. "I want grandkids but I'm not that desperate for them. It would be at least another two or three years before the wedding. And if you were to do anything with my precious daughter before then, well, you'll learn the hard way why they call us demons."
"I can assure you that there's no risk of that happening." Keima subconsciously pushed his chair away as the Chief's eyes flared brightly and the temperature in the room seemed to drop at least ten degrees. "I will be a perfect gentleman."
"Very well." Hiropon nodded satisfactorily and the room returned to normal. "So, do you accept my daughter's hand in marriage?"
"Of course," Keima replied, not sure that he wanted to know what would happen if he said no.
"Great, then it's a duel!" The chief smiled and rose to his feet, offering his hand to shake on it.
"You mean a deal, right?" Keima suddenly grew very concerned.
"Nope. Tomorrow at high noon, at the top of Demon's Hill."
Well, that was just great.
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
Sylvia stood at the entrance into the mysterious facility that was said to house the ultimate anti-magic weapon that even the ancient Crimson Demons were said to have feared as the greatest threat to their existence, the Mage-Killer. She was so close that she could almost taste her prize and yet she couldn't find any way of breaking into the facility to claim it. She'd tried every solution that she could think of, from Magic Cancellers to a Barrier Breaker, but it seemed that despite being guarded by powerful wizards, the Mage-Killer was not protected with magic. Not even brute force seemed to be enough to break through the sturdy thick doorway. The only way that she would be able to get in was with the strange, rectangular stone with odd symbols set into it on a pedestal next to the door. But the instructions for how to activate it were written in the accursed language of the otherworlders.
A day had passed since her confrontation with the boy, Kazuma Sato. It was time for her to track him down so that she could 'convince' him to help her. Or, perhaps he had decided to come to her of his own volition.
"Ah, I see you've come here." Sylvia turned to the stairs leading back up to the surface as soft footsteps made their way down to her. I wasn't the boy, however. "Oh, I wasn't expecting to see you again, my liege."
"It seems that rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated," the Devil King said as he reached the final step. "Wait, who were you expecting?"
"No one important," Sylvia lied smoothly, gliding along the floor towards her former employer. "What can I do for you, my king?"
"I'm gathering all of my remaining forces to regroup and wage war against the humans who dared attack me and killed my daughter!" he explained angrily, pumping his fist in a pitiful display of 'righteous fury'. "But where are your troops? I haven't been able to find them anywhere. It took me nearly all day just to finally track you down."
"Oh, the princess is dead?" Sylvia asked. "My condolences. She always had such wonderful horns. It's a pity that they went to waste, I always wanted them for my personal collection."
"What?" the Devil King took a step back, clearly offended by her remark when he should have been flattered that she valued his spawn so highly. "Do you even realize what you're saying, General?"
"Yes, yes, I know." She waved off his concern dismissively. "You wanted to know what happened to those lovely boys you put under my care? We'd all grown so close in our time together and I had come to love them so deeply, that I just couldn't bear to see them so shaken up at the prospect of what might happen in the wake of your defeat. Without the mighty Devil King to offer them their protection, I'm afraid my boor boys would have been hunted down by merciless human adventurers for just a trifling bit of experience points. So, I made sure that they'd never have to leave my loving embrace!"
Sylvia caressed herself at the memory of inviting all of her wonderful and caring underlings into her. She'd never experienced such a cacophony of beautiful harmony and was still ecstatic and sensualized from the bliss of it all. Sure, most of the soldiers hadn't been exactly willing when she'd proposed the idea but that was just because they hadn't had time to realize what it meant for them, surely.
The Devil King seemed just as confused by her love as they did, backing away even further up the stairs. She followed him up, quickly catching up to him and caressing his cheek with her inviting hand. She could feel him tremble through the white silk glove.
"You know, you could be a part of me, too," she whispered softly into his ear, causing the Devil King to flinch and start to sweat. "You must be going through so much right now. Let me ease your pain."
"Get your hands off of me, woman!" The Devil King suddenly snapped, rejecting her love and slapping her hand away. "You will pay for betraying me!"
"Betraying you?" Sylvia cocked her head to the side. "I haven't betrayed you. On the contrary, I'm trying to help you. Now, come here so that I can show you just what you mean to me, my King."
Sylvia shot her hand out to grab him forcefully by the shoulder. Before she could bring him into her embrace, though, the Devil King responded by teleporting away. Such a shame. She may not have been as interested in him as his daughter but she was still disappointed that she couldn't take the chance to make him a part of her. Sylvia the Devil Queen had a nice ring to it, after all. Though she supposed she did prefer being a General. Less responsibility to pull her away from her other pursuits.
Speaking of which, it was time to find Kazuma. She wanted to have this Crimson Demon nonsense over and done with by the end of the week, after all. They'd been a thorn in her side for too long.
Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!
In the next exciting chapter of God's Blessing, God Knows: The Resolve Of This Fallen Goddess!
Aqua poked her head in through the open doorway and spotted a messy mop of dark hair poking out from under the blankets on the bed, which was certainly smaller than the one in the room next door that she was sharing with Darkness and Cecily. She closed the door quietly behind her before slowly walking over to where Kazuma was resting.
Darkness sat up in bed, back against the headboard, as she tried very hard not to think about what was happening just on the other side of the wall behind her. She could not say the same for the ex-priest beside her, though, who had her ear pressed up against the wall to try and listen in. To make matters even more uncomfortable, Cecily had positioned herself so that if Darkness looked up, she'd get a very good look up her skirt and see that she was, as Kazuma would put it, 'going commando'. As a result, Darkness found herself staring very intently down at her own knees, face as red as a Crimson Demon's eyes.
"Boobies…" Kazuma muttered as he slowly stirred awake. His eyes flickered open and he nearly fell out of bed in surprise as he apparently realized that whatever perverted wet dream he'd been having wasn't as much of a dream as he'd thought. "What, Aqua?"
Author's Notes: Fun fact: I was originally going to have Keima become an Elemental Master instead of an Arch Mage, specializing in element-based spells and allowing him to summon familiars to assist him, Salamander, Yeti and Thunderbird. All three would naturally take the form of cute girls and would form a sort of battle harem (Salamander would have been a tsundere fire elemental, Yeti an emotionless girl ice elemental and Thunderbird a hyperactive lightning elemental). I'd had that planned since early in the fic's run and it wasn't until after I'd finished the original draft of this chapter that I finally decided to scrap them. I figured they would bloat the cast too much and make Keima's fight scenes too complicated. He would have been like a Pokémon trainer and I already know from experience that I don't like writing Pokémon battles. But don't worry, I still have plans for Keima to get a familiar. And maybe not just him?