Moiraine woke when the sun crept through a slit in their tent's flap. At least this time it was already morning and they would be getting up. There will be no more indignities to suffer through for at least a day, for she knew there will be more nightmares for as long as she lived, but only in the night. One small mercy was that only Thom saw those. She didn't scream, at least she didn't think she did, so no other knew about how broken she was.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again to feel the comfort of Thom's gentle snoring. He deserved rest, especially after the harrowing night she had. She would not move, as that would surely wake him. He woke in the night with her every time and hugged her until she stopped hyperventilating. She was no fool, she knew her reactions were bad and didn't help her state. She would have to eat today if she was to function. Even a thought of that made her feeling sick. Not a good sign. She would eat more today, she decided. It was what the Wheel needed her to do. She did worse things in the past than eating.

Thom mumbled something in his sleep and reached to pull her closer into his chest. Moiraine stiffened, as she had done every time he did the same before. It took her a moment to relax. She could get used to this gesture and she definitely would, if they had enough time. It made her smile a long time after. She couldn't remember anyone hugging her since... Siuan used to do this when they were still Accepted and young full sisters, but that was a long time ago now. She knew father used to do that, but only until Laman ascended the throne. Now her body didn't really know what to do. It was unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. It was one of the few rare moments she really felt warm.

"Am I doing something that makes you uncomfortable?" Thom mumbled. "Should I move?"

"No, this is nice."

She was grateful it came out of her mouth without any hitch. The Oath interfering would give him a wrong impression and that she would not like.

"Then why all that strange feeling?"

"Go back to sleep, my dearest." It made her feel safe, this endearment, as if by calling him that be became indeed hers. "Lets make use of noone looking for us for the time being."

She then heard his stomach rumbling. It would. They had both spent the whole day without a meal and their supper had been rather small. She knew she sould eat as well. Thom kissed the back of her head before moving as far back as the cot allowed, which was not much. He stretched with a groan and she could feel his joints cracking as well as hear him groan. Not a young man, primed for fighting at any time, she noted the difference. But while he might not have the presence Lan had, her heart beat a little faster when she watched him go to wash up.

"Stay," he said and pulled the woollen blanket closer up to her chin when he finished cleaning himself up. He pulled his coat on and hesitated by his cloak but left it just where he had left it in the evening, on the ground by the cot. "I will go get us some breakfast."

Moiraine smiled and reached for the cloak when he left. It still smelt of him. A smell that made her feel like he was still in bed with her. It was, however, only an illusion, she knew, but it was nice to bask in it at leas for a moment.

Thom knew the lay of the camp now, so could go straight there to the kitchen and back before Moiraine got up completely. He didn't doubt she would want to appear better than she was, even to him. Probably fooling herself a little too.

She was already seated when he came in, and smiling. This was a good sign, she was better than in the evening. Still weak, which was probably why she didn't get up. He started with giving her a cup of almost scalding tea and sipped on his, colder one. The tea made her feel bad, but it stayed down. Some piece of bread followed and he was glad he managed to secure a soft, delicate one. A piece of cheese also seemed to stay where intended. After her second bit of bread he felt glad enough to stuff himself. If there was a possibility to give his strength, he should be prepared as best as he could to do this.

Moiraine stopped after that and asked for another serving of tea. For this one she had to heat up some of the water he brought up the previous day, but in the end she drank the entire cup, which calmed him further. He ate and let her rest on his arm for a time when her stomach rebelled a little. Until it quietened enough that he felt she was ready to stand up.

She was wearing an intricate design when they came to Merrilor – something in a shade of midnight blue that must have cost a fortune to be achieved at a master dyer's place. Something showy enough for court and yet easy enough to put on so she could do it without help from another person or the One Power. Today she had him, again, and he was happy to help. He was, he admitted to himself, making notes for the future he hoped for. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was neither time nor place for this right now.

"Anything you like?" Moiraine asked.

"I like everything about you," he said. Her head turned and she looked at him with doubt. "Fine! I like most of things about you."

This tent, just like their room in Cairhien, was a nice place they could try to hide in, but he knew this couldn't last for long. They needed to go out to check what was happening.

The day was pleasant as they came now. He was sure to bring Moiraine to a less busy part of the tent city, so they could just stroll for a moment, her arm threaded through his for his comfort. She was walking better today, less stiff, with more confidence in her strides. Good, although her eating was still a problem and he would never be completely easy until she did. And he hoped she would agree to his upcoming suggestion…

She stoppedthem around twenty paces before the tent he was hoping to get her to visit.

"I'm not going there!" she snapped and he could feel irritation mixed with some kind of fear from her. "You shouldn't have taken me here at all."

"What's wrong with this place?"

"Besides trying to ambush me into doing what you thought was right?"

Well, now he was definitely in the doghouse. He might as well try to push a little more.

"I thought you could use a healer, woman." He was careful to whisper that, now that they were in public.

Moiraine was seething, but he was sure the fear was much more prominent than anger now. Something was wrong, and he wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms now, but he would not break her carefully curated image. Not to mention he cared for his body enough to keep from angering her too much.

"You certainly know how to make an entrance, child."

Moiraine straightened her back, hearing Cadsuane and Thom could not help himself. His Aes Sedai prepared for some kind of battle and so his hand sneaked its way to the pouch by his side.

"Oh, do not fear for Moiraine, master gleeman," Cadsuane said in a way fit more for a casual conversation about the weather. "You can leave your daggers unused. I have no intention of doing her any harm."

"Thom is doing just what is prudent and expected of him, sister," Moiraine said with a smile, putting emphasis on the title. She fingered her bracelet, however, at the same time. "I trust him to lean more on his own judgment than words of someone else."

"You're as wild as twenty years ago then, I see. And yet you have managed to do some... things that were hard for others."

Thom snorted, but offered no comment when the grey haired Aes Sedai looked at him. This look might have stopped another person's breathing, probably, his at some point in his life. Now he was far from being intimidated that way. Instead of cowering, he made a small show of taking one of his daggers and throwing it into the air just to catch it almost theatrically. He could feel Moiraine smile a little and knew he had pleased her with that. He put the dagger into its place at his side, but kept his hand on it, then stepped to Moiraine's side.

"I am not your enemy, child," Cadsuane said, turning away. "You will do well to remember that."

"Take me back," Moiraine whispered when Cadsuane was more than likely out of earshot. "Now."

She was tense like a well done string, but he could feel almost nothing through the bond, in a way that he now knew rather well. It was terrifying for him when she felt the need to shield her feelings even from herself to keep the calm exterior she needed. She was even able to smile at any other Aes Sedai they passed on their way, but it was far from authentic.

Moiraine fell to her knees and retched before he was able to het her a bowl. The curtain around her emotions fell and he barely kept standing. He finished closing the flap and sat down to gather her into his arms. Her dry heaving continued for some time, but there was nothing more to throw up after the initial surge. Thom carefully scooped her up into his arms after a time to lay her down on the cot and climbed into it behind her, then pulled the blanket up. She was still shivering, but her heart started slowing down gradually.

Was it just the warder's stamina or was she even lighter than we=hen they rescued her?

"Don't ask me to go there again, Thom," Moiraine said eventually, in a tone that tore at his heart. "I will eat," she said, even though the very promise made her feel sick again. "I will eat, but don't ask me to ask an Aes Sedai for healing."

"Moiraine..."

"They will know." She sounded like a wounded, scared child. "They will know and I will loose every advantage I ever had.

"What is it they will know, my dear?" He was even more worried now with how desperate she was. "Surely nothing you would not be able to live through."

"They will know how broken I am. And how I should even be allowed to wear the ring with how weak in the One Power I am."

"Surely it's not that important," he said, even though he already suspected it might be something he didn't know enough about."

"The channelling ability, one's power," Moiraine almost choked, "is everything. Apart from being appointed to some authority positions, it's what determines the structure in the Tower. Between the Sisters."

One thing was clear for Thom. They were not going to the Tower after all of this was over. He didn't want Moiraine worried and fearing, ruled over by others. He would keep her far from that.

"don't worry about it," he said, reaching for her hand and threading their fingers together. "Sleep for a while, you need your rest."

"It's barely morning..."

"We don't have anywhere to be right now. Take a nap. We'll worry later."

She was terribly tired and drifted into a light sleep right away. Light sleep was good, Thom thought. Shere should be no nightmares and so more rest. He dreaded those nightmares that came in the night. Even though he managed to calm Moiraine down with humming, a song when she woke especially disturbed, it was still hard to see her so frightened. No, there should be no dreams now, just rest.

As he was almost certain there will be no disturbance, he could focus on the problem that was the most harmful one right now – her problem with eating. He would not insist on taking Moiraine to an Aes Sedai healer, to be delved and taken care of. It would surely give the very opposite result from what he wanted. Something had to be done, however, because Moiraine was wasting away and fast.