Excerpts from the diary of Millet Fry, 19 PTD
3rd July, 19 PTD
Dear Diary
Dad's got me you, on the eve of my seventeenth birthday, so I can have a record of what these next few years are like. It's important, he said, and I'm lucky that I'm allowed to go to school to eighteen but I'm not sure I need more writing. But, you were Dad's present to me, and so I've got to keep up with you.
Truth be told, I'm worried for the Reaping. I don't want to die, but I won't be. Only got twelve slips, my tesserae and my normal slips, that's not many. They say some have a hundred slips, and a hundred is a lot more than twelve.
Maw doesn't want to hear it. She thinks I'm too off about my chances, that if I get reaped then I've only got myself to blame. Trust me, I've tried to tell her more times than every slip in that bowl that I'll be fine. That it's two more years, and then I can take over the shop and sell seed to every farmer who wants it. But she won't listen, tells me I'm dooming myself.
But enough about the Games. That's a lot of doom and gloom and truth be told today of all days I can't be bothered to work with the doom and gloom.
Hey. I'm Millet Fry, I'm seventeen years old, and I live in Felleston, in District 9. I have brown hair, and after school I work at my parents' seed shop. It's not much, but with all the farming that runs on and the limited number of sales licenses offered, it's better than most get. Plus, we're not blonde, so we're among the few who get to combine not blonde and ok off.
I guess I'll be able to talk about the reaping, and party after - Kinmemai invited me, and I'm just sure she likes me even if her family's richer than mine. That might be a good thing - dowry's always good to have tucked away here.
See you soon
Millet
4 July, 19 PTD
Well. Certainly not the best scenario to have placed myself in, not at all. Turns out that the twelve slips I'd had were possibly a bit more impactful to my chances than I'd been in, and one of those slips.
Well, Miadora Essmark certainly felt that drawing my name out was a stroke of good luck for me, and at the same time. Well. Not exactly the best stroke, because I'll be damned if I win and damned if I. Well, die.
I'm writing this on the train - my District Partner (Starling - some silly girl from the far east) is having a cry at the moment, and Rye and Miadora are both with her because they're being 'nice'.
But enough about her. What do I have to tell you? A lot!
Kinmemai came to see me in the Visiting. Said she was sorry I wouldn't be at the party, and that if I got back we needed to have a long talk. Certainly put a brightening on my day, even if she's clearly not out for me. Saw her leaving out the window with Saffron, and even for the Capitol I think turning me into a girl is a pretty difficult task to achieve. Still, my respect would go up immensely if they did manage to get me that far.
Maw came as well, separate from Dad. Told me she was expecting this, but. Well, if she was then she's more a wizard than I am, and I'll maintain to my dying day I can make a coin disappear from Charlotte's ear without so much as a second thought. Not like there's any trickery, no sir.
Da was of his own complaint. Ma came to complain, he was sorry. I spoke to him, considered with him the future of me. One way or the other, I promised, I'm coming home.
Don't think I will, but I'm sure he'll do great in expecting me to do well.
Nobody else, really. Nobody gives a shit about anyone else, last I'd heard being reaped was a punishment for something wrong you'd done that the Capitol knew about even if you didn't. Can't lie, I'm more than a little disappointed by this in all honesty. I'm reaped for something, I'd expect to know the reason behind it. Not like there's any benefit in doing it otherwise. Still, maybe that's why nobody from school came to visit me. Even Kinmemai looked a bit uncomfortable, and I can't blame her. Hard to talk to someone about to die.
The train's been dull. Rye tried to sit us down, but truth be told there wasn't hat much to be sat down for. One's boy looked pretty scary, but when their girl was reaped she didn't get a volunteer. Looked pathetic, her up there at 15 next to that big guy. Two had two volunteers, so did Four, but Four didn't really look like they wanted to be there. Eight's boy looked pretty good, so did Twelve's girl. Not much else to say.
Best part was definitely dinner! Big heapings of food, more than I'd see in a week or two laid in front of me like an offering. I tried to take a little, and Miadora told me off for that! And insisted I took a lot. It was odd, really, to have that much food in front of me. And it all tasted so good, and I just couldn't stop. Felt a little bad knowing someone would have to clean that up, but I'll be dead in a week or so. They can take that much work off my shoulders.
And the bedrooms. Oh, if only you had eyes! Laid with all kinds of fittings, hell my bed is probably bigger than my room back home! And we have a nice house ove rthe shop, can't imagine how it must be to someone from the outer-reaches!
Anyways, that's all - got a big day tomorrow!
Millet.
5 July, 19 PTD
Today was bad.
Not only was I dressed like a potato (I didn't even produce potatoes) for the parades, but I got told off! Because I dared to venture that maybe Rye should be splitting his time more equally between Starling and me! I mean seriously.
What else, not much. More food, all kinds of meat and vegetables and other stuff that we have in Nine but don't have in Nine. It's all good, but by this time (in all truth) I'm feeling a little sick. It's one thing to eat this one day, another to eat it day in and day out. And for Starling to eat more than me would be so embarrassing, so it's my duty to eat as much as I absolutely can as to not be upstaged.
But for the moment, at least, my job is a lot simpler. My job is to take in everything my Mentor tells me, and right now Rye is giving me less than nothing. Really, that's not the best because I'm meant to be a survivor, a Victor. I need to see Pa, Maw, Kinmemai again. And if I have to sacrifice a lot to do that, I will.
But that's all, really, so I'll not speak any more tonight. Expect a big update tomorrow - training.
Millet.
6 July, 19 PTD
Dear Diary
Where do I begin? At the beginning.
Breakfast was so much better than anything I've ever eaten, and I don't just say that because I managed not to eat a whole chunk but rather a manageable portion today. No, it's because it was all so good. Dinners, lunches have been good, but this breakfast definitely took the cake. For one, there was some fabulous sausage, and that's always great from my point of view. But no, the main thing was the fruit. Ripe fruit, the kind of fruit we never get in Nine - there's always some measure of bruising on it, and if nothing else that's always not the most palatable. But this wasn't bruised.
And the juice. It was like a river of gold pouring down my throat. Apple, they said it was, and it tasted a bit like apple but at the same time absolutely nothing like Apple. It was good, though, and cold and refreshing was exactly what I needed to wake me up before the Training begun.
Miadora took us down to training, and she was actually ok. Provided some good tips, like not to interact with 1, 2 and 4. Provided some good tips, like that we should try to find something we're especially good at so we have something from the Capitol to talk about during interviews with Lucky. And she also said she was going to try and get some of her friends to sponsor us, and I think that's especially helpful. Even got Starling to crack a smile, and given she's been crying most of the last three days that's a decidedly good thing.
Once we got into training, I knew what she was talking about. Two's girl was talking with the boy from Three, over by the wrestling station, and to be fair to them they actually looked to be getting along quite well. But then she took him into the ring, and I could already tell that was a bad idea but he actually went after her. And then, well, it wasn't pretty, but he got flipped over her shoulder and she was choking him when the Peacekeepers came in to separate them. It was a little funny, yeah, but I did feel bad when she got a kick in on the way out.
Probably why I went over, and to be fair he was actually an ok guy. He's called Clime, not quite sure why but such is life. We had a nice chat, spoke about our Districts - I didn't know that Three had two towns, I thought it was one big city. Well, the more you know. Anyways, we're not allies yet, but if I suggested it I'm pretty sure we could arrange for that. Security.
Anyways, what did I do. I tried to do swords, but then the Fours came over and chased me off so the One girl could get a turn. And to be fair, she was pretty good, but sitll, there was room for more of us so it was pretty rude.
I tried knives, and those were better. Didn't get chased off, the instructor taught me some basics. Like not to throw them, that was some good advice and it's not like I'd try. Not got the aim.
Then it was lunch, and I stayed sat with Clime and Starling. Not much else - most people were crying and panicking. Can't blame them, I wanted to do the same. Did the same later, but now's not the time.
Afterwards, it was mainly edible plants. Trying the plants, trying to see how they'd work. I noted down what they looked like, and Rye's promised he'll get to me on what he thinks the Arena could be this year, but he probably won't come back. Did this with Five's boy - he seemed ok, even if he was a bit odd. Such is life, though. Besides, a bit odd could be good - provides me a good cover if asked whether or not I like potential alliances, and means I can drop him and not feel the absolute worst.
Signing off
Millet
7 July, 19 PTD
Dear Diary
I may have messed up. I told you how good the breakfast was yesterday? Well, today I actually tried to have more. And then I got down into the Training room, and who comes up to me but Four's girl.
She was nice at first. Was all friendly and flirty, and while that was a bit odd. Well, more than a bit. Anyways, I got a lot closer to her - my fault to be sure, I should have been a lot more cautious. But then we had a good chat, and then she promised to show me the basics of how to use a trident. Never really had cause to learn one before, and new experiences are good in the Games so I was less cautious than I should have been - guess I should have been glad she didn't fuck with me any worse than she did.
As it was, I got hit by the trident a lot, and didn't actually learn a lot. Sure the Twos and Ones were laughing at me. Anyways, I didn't feel too well, and. Well, it's not exactly a point of pride, but I may or may not have vomited into the fishing pool. It was, as I said, not a very good part of my experience, and it's definitely not one I'd ever like to talk about again. At least the others were sympathetic - Clime was nice enough about it, and even if the rest of his group were laughing about it, Two's boy looked a little apologetic.
What else did I do, not much. I visited the edible plants again, got told to check it out more closely. A lot of grasses, a few weeds and such, but not much else. Seemed a lot like home, I told Rye as much and he said I might be onto something, so in all we're looking pretty good.
I stayed away from the fishing station, even though I wanted to get that done. Didn't really want to go over and talk to that instructor who'd looked at me like that when I'd. Well, he had a good reason.
Chatted to Clime a bit more, and Five - he seemed ok, I guess, but I don't know if I want to commit to either
8 July, 19 PTD
Dear Diary
I'll ally with Clime, I've decided. If it comes to it, he's a better choice than much. I dropped the question, he didn't say no but didn't say yes, either. It's a risk to take, but I've asked Rye to put in the formal alliance request nonetheless. In a worst case scenario, if he says no, then at least I put in my attempt and can hold my head up high to say I did that much.
I practiced with the sword because the station was empty - that was pretty cool. Never thought I'd be able to get my hands on one, it's dangerous and all.
Didn't do edible plants, did go over and apologise to the fishing people and then practiced with that. They were a little more helpful, showed me to use a sword to stab a fish. I wasn't very good, but the fish were slow and surely if it's life or death I can do a little better, so we're chiller on that angle than I was worried we would be.
After that, well. I had a lot of lunch, there was time and I knew I'd have a long wait. Spoke to Clime a lot, the rest of the Group kinda milled around. Made sure to note down the other kids - see if anyone was doing anything particularly special.
I got a six in scoring - higher than I'd thought, I guess that last minute sword practice worked. I mean seriously, given the Twos had left it and Ones were somewhere I don't want to think about because they're scary, sword practice felt like a natural way to pick up a few extra marks. The average, we got told that much, was a five, so I was above but not by much. Still, Rye was glad I even passed that.
Sat in the Training waiting most of the afternoon, but after that Rye did start to go through interview stuff with me. Told me I should have a role, a way for people to remember me - decided I'd go for cocky and self-assured. From what he tells me, the Capitol wants someone to see someone with a bit of spice, not meekness. And if they want that, if it'll get me money and support? Then I'd best do it.
Starling got a three, and she's been crying in her room again. Can't believe that, but I guess that's how it goes.
Interviews tomorrow
Millet
9 July, 19 PTD
Dear Diary
Got a lot of interviews done today. Other stuff too.
Clime accepted the alliance, not quite sure if that's a good thing - you'll see why later.
The Ones, Twos, Fours all did good in their interviews. Not much to say. Ones were pretty, Twos were dangerous, Fours were whatever the hell I could describe them as being? Brave? Proud.
Clime did shit. He talked to Lucky, but fluffed up every line he'd been using, and then at the end complained it wasn't quite fair that some districts had more mentors, where Three had to rely on a loaner from Five. Got told that was life, but he didn't get much applause. My ally, ladies and gentlemen.
Mine was an interview. Got talking to Lucky - I think he liked me, but to be honest I think he 'liked' just about everyone. No real standout, but I got more clapping from everyone else, so there's something.
Eleven's girl - May was pretty good. Talked about how she wants to get back to her family, how she's sure her sisters are going to be excited to get to see her again. It'll be an interesting thing from their end to see what support she gets, I expect. Still, it was a better angle than I'd had.
Rye's telling me to get sleep. I guess tomorrow?
10 July, 19 PTD
I escaped! I was running, and running, and running for such a long time, but we got away.
Clime... wasn't so lucky. He was so close, had grabbed a pack and I really thought I was going to make it because with two of us? Well, we could really survive this better than one alone. But then One's boy threw a spear, like it was a kid's rattle, and suddenly there was a spear through his back and blood coming out his mouth and I.
Ran. Grabbed his pack, One didn't have enough weapons to risk another spear throw if he missed, and then I was away. No cannons fired for a bit, so I'm not sure whether he died there or had to wait. Either way, if his family sees this. Well, I'm sorry. He was a good guy, really. Helpful, friendly. I'll miss him, I know that much. Maybe I'll see him when I go... wherever it is.
Anyways, the arena's pretty good this year. Big flat open grassland, nothing to do but a lot of big rocks and such to hide behind. It's almost like home, and even if I wasn't some grubber from the muck I know enough about the outlands to get by. Sure I'll be fine.
Not got any sponsor gifts yet, but that's fine. Definitely. Rye and Miadora (I'm not sure if she's a competent handler of that but one has to hope, right) will be waiting for the right time to send me something that works. Something that helps me.
Right now, I'm fine. Found a small pool near a cliff, and it's clear enough I'm sure it's fine. Not like there's anything wrong with water, this stuff is cleaner than what we get from the taps. Not much else to report - Starling's dead, but that wasn't my fault. Saw Seven grab an axe, and. Well.
It's certainly an Arena, I wouldn't like to be in something different. Like that desert in the fifteenth, that would be a nightmare at the best of times. Better for some, maybe, but decidedly worse for me because (being real) a boy from a grassland city wouldn't do very well. So, small mercies.
Signing off.
Millet
11 July, 19 PTD
Diary
I've gotten away.
Eleven people died back at the start. Starling, yes, Clime. One's girl, not sure what she did. Eights, Tens. A few others
I'm in a hole right now. Loads of them in the side of the cliff. Stomach's starting to rumble, but it hurts.
Everything hurts.
Millet.
13 July, 19 PTD
Diary
Sorry for no update yesterday - the water was probably not the best. I'm scared, though. I got past all the shaking and cramps, and when I want to move out I can hear talking. A whole group of them.
Not sure how much time - sun setting, going to try and not make any noise.
Millet.
14 July, 19 PTD
Diary
I did nothing wrong.
I escaped. The voices went away and I went the other direction. Thought I heard deer and stuff.
I ran into Eleven's girl. I didn't want to.
She had a knife. I tripped her, and she hit her head, and it took a while of her lying there until the cannon fired.
Sorry.
15 July, 19 PTD
I met Seven. Didn't think I'd see two people in two days, but.
We compared notes, shared stuff. Got it all out.
I think we'll be good allies. Not much else to stay today, we're trying to keep on the move.
Millet
16 July, 19 PTD.
I killed him. I killed him. I killed him.
Birche had a knife, and he came at me.
And I
17 July, 19 PTD
Diary
I did what I had to do. I did what I had to do. That's what I keep telling myself, but if I look in I'm not entirely sure that that is the truth.
But he was coming at me.
Let me start from the beginning. I was out walking with Birche. Obviously after Sara we were all a bit on edge, and so when we heard a crack from the brush? Well, it was only natural for me to get my sword out, and for him to get his knife. It wasn't anything dangerous, before you ask. A monkey, but it was enough.
Enough for him to panic. Enough for him to look over to me, and.
I really didn't want to, but he was running at me.
Millet.
18 July, 19 PTD
Diary
I messed up. Birche, and May? Who have I got left. starling's been gone a while, of course, I think it's just me and Four but if it isn't and I'm wrong then we could be in a situation and situations like that aren't something I'd like to be in at any time, but especially not now. But if it's just me and Four, if it's just the two of us then it's me against him. And he's bigger, he got a nine, he actually trained for this. Probably.
But I'm ready. I've got my sword, and my knife if worst comes to worst. I can protect myself well enough, I know that much.
Got food as well. A little water, don't want to drink it though in case. Well.
19 July, 19 PTD
Diary
I won. Four's Boy lost.
9 July 75 PTD
Diary
I guess, since I've got the 75th coming up, I have to say hello to you one more time. You're my token - you should see it an honour.
Cashmere and Gloss aren't a threat. Were it Furrier or her girls, I'd be speaking the kind of words of concern I had before my initial mission begun. Cashmere and Gloss, they care more for each other than for anyone else, and that's the way it's going to stay. Haven't seen them doing anything that wasn't just the two of them, neither of them even with their chosen weapons from the original Games.
Brutus and Enobaria scare me more. Both ready, both sounding a damn lot like they've prepared for this. Were I worrying about anyone, I'd be worrying about them and a few others. Still, they're likely to be Everdeen's first targets, the pair of them are too deadly together. Them with Cashmere and Gloss is a danger, but I'm old. Doubt to hell I'll be the first one they're after.
Nuts and Volts aren't a danger. Unless they're given wire or something, but what're the odds of that? They're problems, everyone knows that. Everyone knows they won't last five, ten minutes in that Arena unless they get heavyweights on their side, and what're the chances of that I ask.
Finnick, I can see being dangerous. He's young, he's popular, hell he's probably going to bring in more sponsors than 5-11 put together. Probably can include 3 in that as well, even if Everdeen poses a risk. Mags, on the other hand. Well, she's an old lady. I feel bad I expect her to die, all Panem knows she deserves a long rest. But if Iliamna, Lianne were such cowards as to not volunteer? They've put her on this chopping block. Have to thank them, in a way - she might slow him down.
Soleil's a drunk, August is an idiot. One of them lasts more than a few days, it'll be a damned miracle in and of itself. To be fair, though, none of the Fives were ever particularly competent, truth be told. Even Stahl's their best shot, and she's. What, stabbing one girl makes her a Victor? These new ones are a damned sight less competent than the old models, some of them at the least.
Penny, Troy are both dead. Were I in any fit position I'd put them down myself, but as it stands I doubt either of them will put up much of a fight. Nobody wants to drag this out, we're all friends enough. We've all lived enough a full and long life that I can say with some pride we're friendly enough none of us is dying too badly. That much, all of us owe all others.
Blight's a coward. Has been ever since his own Games, and yet. Well, while I don't think he's going to put up too much of a fight, he's got that streak in him that saw thirty crossbow bolts pepper the 1, 2, 4 alliance and then saw him put those not yet dead down himself, with some help from allies. Mason's too impetuous. She'll get struck down, nobody likes that girl as is. Well, save for the Ones and it isn't mutual, save for Finnick and save for her own lot. Someone will get her, if not me then someone else.
Eight. I feel for Cecelia, really do. When I got back I always dreamed about wanting kids until I remembered. Well. May, Birche, Eddy. But she actually made it, three of her own and a husband who even if he was a bit stuck up was always nice enough. Shame her, I don't want her to die. but she has to. Woof's old, older than me. Shame he has to die, I hate to think about it, he's always been kind, but if anyone has to die I'd rather it him than me.
Demeter. I'm sorry.
Ten. Angus, Chrissie. Chrissie's a prissy one, always has been. Always pleasant, but she was posh from the day she walked into the Arena, she's no better on the outside. It's sad to see her go, but such is life. Angus... Angus. What can I even say, he's a good man. Great drinking partner, not like a son to me but nice.
Eleven. Seeder, Chaff are problems. Never liked them, so I won't be too sad for their death. Sad enough, I guess.
Mellark's a pawn. No reason to worry of him, the only worry is whether his girl's enough of a threat.
Everdeen. She's the reason we're in this, the reason we're all starving at home and twenty-three of us are like to die in this Arena. Surely, though. Surely, Snow wants a good Victor, and if that has to be me who am I to deny him that wish. I'd feel worse in denying him that, truth be told. Capitol wants a Victor, a good Victor, and I'll be happy to provide. And being a victor, a good Victor, starts with killing that bitch. August agrees with me, but wants to go his own way. So be it. I'll do this myself. Never loved the Capitol, but home is home
So, well. Not got that many possessions I don't think the Capitol won't claw back themselves, most of it in truth they're welcome to. Maybe if not for the Games I could have had more memories. Photos. Kinmemai and I, maybe, a couple of whelps. We could have had a nice flat above a shop, not mine because Maw and Pa are still alive of course, but a different flat. The kind of shop that sells nice things, like spices and sugar and the other things Kin's family sold. We could have taken that shop, might be nice.
Or not. I think she had an older sister who took it.
Anyways.
To One. Well, one of them can take my drinks collection. Bourbons, Wines, Beers, all that kinda stuff. I know Furrier and Plummer loved a good cocktail, probably enough in there to set up their own brewery, and it'd shock me no end if neither of them had a similar collection.
Two. I have my nice old sword mounted above my door, a nice 'gift from the Capitol'. As if they ever gave gifts, it was a way to keep me in line. Screwed me from the day Kin saw it.
Three gets fuck all. None of you left, sorry.
Same with Four, not really close. Leah can have the statues in my front lawn, I guess.
Five - August, if he's out, gets to custody battle One for the alcohol.
Six, Six. Sorry guys. Never got to know you all, Audie, so.
Seven can have... my air fresheners? Not sure what to offer, but might make it smell a bit better.
Eight gets any clothes I have - distribute them to the poor or some such, I won't be needing them. Better than handing them over to the Capitol in any case, far better.
Nine. Bail, you're the last of us. You get anything the others don't. Keep it, burn it, I don't give a damn. Sell if if you want, or donate it, I'm sure you'll find something appropriately sentimental. Not like I'll want much more to do with it, at any rate, and you're all my people.
Ten. None left.
Eleven. None left.
Twelve. Abernathy, if I die you don't get a talent. Your punishment for causing this mess in the first place.
Guess that's all. Hope you survive the trip, though you will - got sponsored a waterproof pouch last time, same run this time!
Millet
The diary was found coated in blood in the possession of one Barleigh Emmon two years after the Victory over the Capitol, with a simple note written at the end. Nobody would say how Emmon had got it, nobody could answer that question, not even Emmon herself.
10 July, 75 PTD.
Millet Fry. Dead, Johanna Mason, bloodbath. Tried to kill Latier, but Woof stopped him. Didn't know the old man had it in him. If I don't make it out of here, can the Victor pass this on to. Well, whoever he had. Please.
Angus Ferdinando.
Nobody quite knew what happened to the diary after that. Some swear it sits in a museum, but extensive searches have turned up no evidence to this point, and as such the location of the diary, and the contents between Fry's Victory and excerpt 9 July 75 PTD remain unknown.