When I woke up the next day… I woke up to the weight of Leah's words settling on me like a weighted blanket. Everything around me… seemed surreal, like I was seeing everything for the first time. And then I realized the blurry, slow-motion sensation as I looked around and felt like my mouth was wired shut, and my body stayed stuck on the mattress. This same sensation I've had for years especially through rough events or the through the aftermath of an event that always affect me. Nothing… nothing within this room, including myself, seemed to be real, everything felt so… surreal, fake, like everything could disappear in the matter of seconds but nothing came.

I didn't know why I was staring at the walls, the windows, the ceiling, but I was… I just stared. It felt… it felt like everything in my world was crashing down over me again. Everything was silent. So silent, my ears rung as I listened intently to the world around me, it was so silent until I heard the drizzling rain pattering lightly outside.

I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to face the day. I didn't care enough to face the day, I suppose.

Maybe Leah was right, maybe Leah was wrong but either way… right now I—

Pebbles hit the glass of the window facing the side yard, under the darker side of the sky and because of the shadows of the forest. I walked over and looked out the window, I didn't see anyone, I checked the front yard window. Nothing was there was cars and the outside world. The delusion strikes again.

I went to the bathroom and did my business, and morning routine. I wrote down notes in the small notepad Charlie keeps in the bathroom to track my med intake, I don't miss a morning or a night taking them, and he checks the bottle to count what remained. Then I heard the voices and the television on downstairs. I pulled on a hoodie before going downstairs still in my pajamas, I stopped at the top of the stairs when I heard Jacob talking with Uncle Charlie. It sounded like Charlie was leaving for the day, work, or something, I heard the end of that conversation before I was mentioned in the conversation.

"How was she when you guys got back in last night?" Jacob asks.

Charlie sighed, "She had that same look in her eyes the days following to the attempt… her meds helped somewhat after I heard her stop crying over it before she went to sleep."

I cried? I don't remember crying. When did he check in on me? I swear he went to bed before me.

"Have you talked to Sue?" Jacob inquires.

Sue is an absolute sweetheart from my own impression of her and Uncle Charlie's harmless ranting about her. The way Uncle Charlie talked about her last night, I don't think he realizes he's in love with the woman. The way he unconsciously smiled when he said her name. The look great together and they deserved to be together. Uncle Charlie deserved to be happy, especially if Sue made him happy. I wished they were going to patch things up in their new, fledging relationship, hopefully they could find a way another what happened last night.

"No… I don't know if I want to." Charlie admits. "I… you know. It's just that… I cannot have that little girl trying to die on me again. I didn't know she existed for fifteen years, I didn't even know Caiden existed and the boy was a few months younger than Bella… At the funeral… I knew Moncia for like three months before my brother took off. I thought over time she would… change? She's nasty, with her words… I've never heard speak so calmly but with so much hate and disregard for the fact that Vivianna just watched her parents and older brother go six feet in the ground… She spoke to her as if she was… a… just." Charlie heaved a sigh flustered, Jacob straightened up like he went to say something, but Uncle Charlie continued, "They bullied that girl in front of everyone. Publicly disowning her because she made an adult decision a year ago and her very existence. I couldn't believe it, I had always known she—no, they were evil, in some sort of way, but I never thought they would ruin their appearance just to humiliate someone. Their granddaughter. I don't even want to know what they have said to her over the years, what they said to Caiden. I can't even… understand how somebody or people cannot love somebody from their blood, I can't understand the logic behind their 'apology'. It's bullshit, they know they can't access the funds of the corporation because it's not in their name but Vivianna's. They…"

My heart broke for Charlie and Sue. If Leah hadn't said anything to me last night about my suicide attempt. None of this would be happening right now. I didn't know Uncle Charlie cared that much, and I didn't know how much he saw who my grandparents truly were until now. We never talked about it, I certainly didn't want to. I didn't know anything of this.

"Sue's just as upset as you are over what happened. Leah won't be coming around here, or around Vivianna. And they can't take her from you, she's safe here and the attorney knows that." Jacob added.

Why did my name roll off his tongue like water?

"I know Sue is," Uncle Charlie sighs and continues, "but Vivianna is recovering from the hospital and her grandparents and this appeal against the will..." I didn't hear what he said after that, but his next responses came more clear, "I signed on to take care of that little girl as her godfather. I know that what Sue and I have is… I can't have anything getting in the way that could deter this girl from recovering healthily, so she can live. I have to have her ready for this world by November."

"Have her ready by November? She's fifteen." Jacob says.

"She is fifteen and she's graduating in December." Charlie informs, he sent a smirk Jacob's way, I couldn't see Jacob's face, his back was turned to me.

"Graduating?" Jacob repeated impressed and in disbelief.

"Vivianna is a little genius. She wants to go to Harvard." Charlie says with a hint of pride in his tone.

"Harvard? How the hell are you paying for that?" Jacob asked, dumbfounded.

"Hey, language."

"Sorry." Jacob apologized.

"Her parents had money set aside especially for her college tuition and the student housing. So, there's no worry there."

"What does she want to major in?" Jacob inquires, looking down at something on the tabletop.

"Law, she wants to be a lawyer." Charlie replies and sets down a plate on the table in front of Jacob.

I went back upstairs quietly. I sat there in my room, thinking. I thought over their conversation I eavesdropped on. I thought about Sue and Charlie's relationship. I thought about Leah. I thought about Jacob. I thought about school.

I don't know what happened in those moments, but everything started to settle around me steadily. I felt hope for my impending future.

Later that day, I came back downstairs after Charlie left and I wandered around the house. The phone was taken off the wall and resting on the counter. I stood there for a few moments contemplating on plugging it back in or just leaving it there, I had stepped away and anxiety filled my stomach with butterflies. I plugged the phone back in, and my stomach slowly settled.

There was dishes in the sink, I washed those up and the rest of the kitchen and then the rest of the house. By the time I was done, I was sweating and still had energy to burn, I felt restless, I couldn't stay still.

The phone started ringing as I washed my hands in the kitchen sink. I answered it after wiping my hands.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Vivianna?" It sounded like Sue Clearwater.

"Yes. Who's this?"

"Sue Clearwater." I was right.

"Oh, okay. Hi, what's up?"

"Can I talk to Charlie? Is he home?"

"He's not home right now bit I can… I can let him know you called."

"Okay… thank you, sweetheart."

"You're welcome."

"Vivianna?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry… about Leah. I don't know wha—"

"It's okay." I interrupted her. "It's okay, I promise. No harm done."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll let Charlie know you called, I'll talk to you later, Sue."

"Okay, bye Vivi—"

I hung up. My stomach churned. I did heavy duty cleaning after that phone call and ordered a pizza. I was watching movies on the HBO channel when a knock rapped at the front door. I got up and walked over to it and opened it seeing Jacob through the peephole.

"Hey," He greeted, scrutinizing my face.

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

Interesting. "Yeah," I replied. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jacob replied and then stepped back, he hesitated when he met my eyes again, "I just wanted to check in on you."

He thinks about me? I felt my cheeks heat up, "Thank you for checking in on me."

"You're welcome," Jacob says before he went to walk away but stopped and pulled something out of his pocket of his hoodie. It was a small copy of a book. He handed it out to me, "And I also came here to give you this. I figured instead of giving you books in a bag; I should give them to you in person."

I looked at him sideways while taking the book from him, "Well, well, well, my stalker shows himself."

"I'm not a stalker."

"Then what would you call someone that gives you random books without showing themselves?"

"A secret admirer."

I physically reacted to that, and he ducked his head to stifle the smile on his face. I felt blood rush to my cheeks but then I thought about how Charlie talked about Jacob and Bella when he would want to rant about Edward and Bella to get through his frustration with his inner turmoil at times. Charlie would rant about the mentioned persons and his conversations with them, I could always tell he just needed someone to listen why he ranted to work through his thoughts on the conversations. He wanted Jacob and Bella together and he had said Jacob had wanted to be with her. It was one of the reasons I decided to fight my feelings for him to think maturely over this delusional crush.

"But you like Bella." I said leaning my right hand on the doorframe as I leveled my gaze with Jacob again.

Jacob stopped and he searched my eyes, now it was his turn to look at me sideways, "She's getting married."

Like her getting married mattered, her name did something to him. His body language changed in seconds. "But that doesn't mean you don't. You're," I gestured my hand to the length of his body, "body language changed in like seconds when I mentioned her."

"I don't want her." He says.

I didn't believe him, "Jacob, I'm not stupid. You may not think you don't, but your body language says it all. Thank you for the book… I'll read it and give it back to you."

Jacob sighed; his left foot stepped back to angle himself away from the door. He stuffed his hands in his hoodie pocket while he looked down at the grass and back to me. "Don't worry about it." He said before he walked away.

"Worry about what? Jacob, this is your book!" I called after him.

"Keep it!" He called over his shoulder.