"Batteries Not Included"
I opened one eye and glanced in the direction of the clock. It was half hidden behind a large, muscular shoulder, but I knew it was late. Probably closer to morning than night. I closed my eyes and stifled a sigh. I was beat. My eyes were sore from lack of sleep. Yet every time I closed them, the day replayed itself, and I ended up in even more of a panic.
Get a grip, I told myself. After all, it's not like I've not ever been in bed with a man before. Ipn fact, I'd been in this bed with this man on a few occasions. I'd even lived with him briefly while my sister was using my apartment. But that had been different. It hadn't been comfortable, but it hadn't been awkward. This was awkward.
My name is Stephanie Plum, and I just shagged my boss.
Probably I shouldn't be so worried about this. After all, we've had sex before.
But that was part of a deal. He'd helped me out, and in return, I'd helped him out...several times throughout the course of our one night together.
One night. That's it. Until now.
What does that make it? Two nights? Is there any such thing as a two-night stand? I didn't think so. And yet, it didn't feel like a mistake, either. We were both eager and willing participants; two consenting adults acting on their mutual attraction for one another. Probably it would all work itself out in the morning.
I chanced another peek at the clock and held my breath while Ranger's breathing shifted. His face relaxed, and his breathing grew deeper, steady and even. I'd never seen him sleep like that. Huh, I thought. I'd never seen him sleep at all. I didn't know he could.
I almost resisted the urge to sneak a quick look under the sheet, and slid out from between the covers. Looking at Ranger was making me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Not good when mixed with the fear and self-doubt that was already culminating there. I plucked a black T-shirt off the floor and slid it over my head, checking behind me to make sure I didn't wake the sleeping dragon. It swung over my frame in soft folds and I realized it was Ranger's.
Mental head-slap. What did I just do? I had sex with Ranger! I initiated sex with Ranger! And I told him I…
"No, don't go there," I told myself. "Think of something else. Anything else."
I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hands and edged silently off the bed.
Some cookie dough and an unhealthy dose of late-night TV would do the trick.
The light in the foyer was burning, casting an eerie glow over apartment. I padded softly into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. A bucket of chocolate chip cookie dough was sitting on the top shelf. I grabbed it by the handle and pulled a spoon from one of the drawers on the left-hand side. Then I sunk onto the couch and fiddled with the remote.
Six months ago, I'd invited myself to stay at Ranger's apartment while he was out of town. I had been targeted by a gang-banger named Junkman, and at the time, commandeering Ranger's apartment seemed like the thing to do. It was a secured building, with a gun range in the basement and a parking garage underground. It had felt safe, almost cozy. Now it felt like intruding.
I looked around to make sure I was alone and lifted the lid off the cookie dough, grimacing at the sound as the plastic popped loose. I dug out a heaping spoonful and raised it to my mouth. It was smooth and sweet, and chock full of milk chocolate morsels. I felt my body relax a little into the overstuffed couch and looked down at the remote. There were three power buttons, two sets of volume controls, and a bunch of other buttons with symbols I didn't understand.
I pressed the squiggly line at the top and the light on the remote flashed twice. Then I pressed power and the plasma TV lit up. I looked down at the remote again. I pressed a blue button marked Menu and a listing of channels and programs appeared. Hoorah, I thought to myself.
I used the up and down arrows to toggle through the channels. Informercial . Infomercial. Infomercial. I shook my head in disgust. Three-hundred channels and they were all advertising ProActiv . I dug out another large cookie dough clump and rested the spoon in my mouth while I foraged through another page of listings. A line halfway through the middle caught my eye. SEX AND THE C…
Sex and the City. Finally, we're getting somewhere. I highlighted the program and pressed Select.
The screen went blank for a moment. Then the channel appeared. Soft music was playing in the background. Huh. I didn't remember that from any of the episodes. A woman with soft blonde curls came onscreen and removed her top, revealing two saline-engorged breasts. My mouth dropped open and the spoon landed on the floor with a clang. I bent down to retrieve the spoon and the bucket of cookie dough crashed onto the floor with a dull thud. I reached for it, and fell off the couch onto the floor. The remote slipped out of my hand and bounced across the room, and I watched in horror as one of the batteries slipped out and rolled under the sideboard.
The sound from the TV was reverberating off the walls. I couldn't see the screen from my position between the coffee table and the couch, but I was pretty sure I didn't need to. The curly-haired blonde let out a deafening moan and my heart stopped.
Oh, no.
Here's the thing with porn. I don't mind it. I had watched a couple with Joe, and more than I care to remember when I was married to The Dick. But watching porn is different from being caught watching porn. Especially when the person doing the catching is drop-dead gorgeous, your boss, and someone who, not five hours ago, was performing on you some of the same salacious acts.
Heat flushed my cheeks and I told myself not to panic. I would simply get the battery, place it back in the remote and change the channel. Probably Ranger was still sleeping and hadn't heard a thing.
Yeah, right.
I picked myself off the floor and looked around. The bedroom was still dark. That was a good sign. I carried myself over to the foyer on tippy-toes and felt under the sideboard. I grabbed the battery and shoved it into the back of the remote. I pressed the Menu key, and nothing happened. I pressed it again and was met with the same result.
Shit!
I held the remote with two hands and aimed it at the receiver, pushing buttons like mad. Something had to work. Anything. The little light at the tip of the remote flashed red a couple times, and a message appeared on the screen: LOADING
THX PRESET. PLEASE WAIT.
There was a soft beep, and the volume bar appeared at the bottom of the screen, slowly rising until they hit maximum level. The sound was coming from all directions, loud enough to rattle the vase of flowers on the sideboard.
"Oh, my god," I whimpered.
"Oh, my god!" moaned the blonde on the TV.
"Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god."
I looked down at the remote and pressed the down button on the volume control. Nothing. I let out a groan of frustration, and looked back toward the bedroom. Ranger was leaning against the door jamb in a pair of sweats, arms folded across his bare chest. He quirked an eyebrow in my direction, and gave me one of his wolf grins.
I could've died.
"Help," I said finally, after choking out a few vowel sounds. Ranger shook his head and made his way through the dining room. He reached for the remote and I passed it to him. He pressed a couple of buttons, and the apartment went quiet all except for Ranger's laughter.
"Stop it," I mumbled, my face in my hands. "It's not funny."
"Babe." He grabbed my shirt and pulled me two him, wrapping his arms around my waist. His body was still shaking with laughter.
"I couldn't sleep," I said into his chest. "I got up to watch TV."
"I can see that."
"You think anyone heard?"
"I hope so," Ranger said. "It's good for my image."
I pulled back to meet his gaze. "How long have you been awake?"
Ranger's eyes flashed. "Since you lifted the sheet."
"You could've said something."
"Thought you might need some space."
I shrugged. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have said-"
Ranger cut me off with one of those kisses that made my toes curl. "Don't be sorry," he said when we pulled apart. "I love you, too."
I stared at him, flabbergasted.
"Now come back to bed. If I'm going to have a reputation as a lothario, I 'd might as well earn it."