Chapter Five

I woke up the next morning wrapped in a brown duvet and Ranger. I rolled over and pulled the sheet up to my throat. Ranger was clean-shaven and still damp from his shower. He had on a pair of black sweatpants and nothing else. He was on his side, his brown eyes fixed on me.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Late."

I sat up and looked at the clock. It was just after eight. I fell out of bed and stumbled around in the sheet, struggling to keep covered. I gathered the excess fabric under my free arm and looked around for my panties. "Why didn't you set the alarm?"

Ranger pulled a black T-shirt over his head and smoothed down the front. "Babe, I set the alarm. Twice. You slept through it."

I knew he wasn't lying. I routinely slept through my alarm. It was the reason I had lost my job at the button factory, as well as a number of FTAs. I locked myself in his bathroom and turned on the water to as hot as I could stand it, and eased myself under the water. This time, it was purely therapeutic. I ached everywhere. When I'd done all the necessary scrubbing, I turned off all the jets and wrapped myself in Ranger's bathrobe, tying it loosely at my hips. Then I towel-dried my hair and stepped into the bedroom. I found my panties sticking out from under the locked gun drawer, but there was still the issue of the missing bra.

Ranger was at the table, half-hidden behind a section of newspaper. He folded the newspaper and set it aside as I took my seat.

"I'm feeling a little underdressed," I said to Ranger. "I'm missing a few things."

The line of Ranger's mouth curved up slightly. "I've asked Ella to find something for you to wear. She'll be by later."

I nodded and looked in one of the linen-covered baskets on the table. Doughnuts. Chocolate glazed with pink and yellow sprinkles. I picked one up and tore it in half. "Did you do this?"

Ranger shook his head. He filled our coffee mugs and treated his bagel with a smear of cream cheese. "No. That stuff will kill you. Ella likes to bake, though. She seems to think you shouldn't be treated like the rest of the men."

"And you?"

"Babe, you're in my bathrobe."

Fair enough. I finished off the first doughnut and reached for another. Ranger had finished his bagel and was leaned back in his chair watching me.

"What are we doing?" I asked through a mouthful of doughnut.

Ranger leaned forward and set his coffee cup on the table. "Having breakfast?"

"That's not what I meant."

Ranger's face went blank and he sucked in some air. I knew what that meant. First rule of sex with Ranger: Don't talk about sex with Ranger.

"I'm going for a run," he said. Then he walked over and kissed the top of my head, and left.

#

The doorbell rang a short while later and I opened it to a beaming, scarlet-lipped Ella Guzman. She carried in several large shopping bags and placed them at the foot of the bed. I opened one of the bags and looked inside. There were five pairs of panties and three bras. Five black T-shirts. Two pairs of cargo pants and two pairs of jeans. All black. I dressed in the bathroom and did my best at the hair and makeup thing. When I came out, Ella was re-arranging some of Ranger's things in order to free up a drawer.

Gulp.

"That's not necessary," I said. "I'm not here that often. Only when my apartment's not safe." Or when I'm having sex with my boss.

Oh, god.

"Nonsense," Ella said. "There's more than enough space." Then she started pulling things out of their respective bags, folding them, and placing them neatly in the free drawer. I had a feeling she had gone a bit overboard. I had been expecting a pair of pants and a shirt. Probably something I'd left behind, which had ended up in the laundry. There were at least five bags of new things, including two black camisoles, a couple longsleeved tees, and a pair of pink pajamas.

I laced my boots while she straightened the living room, and gave my lips another swipe of gloss. Then I grabbed my messenger bag, dropped my gun in with two fingers, and took the elevator to the underground lot.

I pulled onto Hamilton and drove on auto-pilot to my building. Morelli's SUV was parked in the lot when I got there. I pulled up and peeked inside. Empty, which meant he was in my apartment. My stomach twisted. I was still feeling a little guilty over the whole Ranger thing. And I was pissed. He left me on a stoop! I climbed back into my truck and took off with a squeal. I was halfway to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts when Morelli called my cell.

"Cupcake," he said when I answered.

"Asshole!"

I screamed in frustration and slammed the phone into the steering wheel a few times. When I was finished, the bottom half of the phone was dangling loosely at the joint and the antenna was bent in an L-shape. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest that my hands were shaking. I came two inches away from swiping a row of parked cars, swerved back into my lane, and then angled into a Safeway parking lot and jerked to a stop in front of the cart-return. Then I put the phone back to my ear.

"Okay, so you're mad," he said in an exasperated tone. I resisted the urge to crawl through the phone and punch him in the nose.

"You're damn right I'm mad!" I yelled into the phone. "You left me on a stoop!"

Morelli sighed audibly. "I did. And I'm really sorry. What do you say you come back to your apartment and we talk about it?"

"Eat shit and die, jerk!"

"I have Pino's. And beer."

I considered this for a moment. Then I screamed some more profane insults into the phone and disconnected. Morelli was waiting for me outside my door when I arrived at the second-floor landing. I pushed past him into the kitchen and deposited my gun into the brown bear cookie jar. This had been a lot easier when I had a revolver. It had melted down in the Cluck in a Bucket fire a couple months ago. The Sig was a lot larger and more awkwardly positioned. I gave up, leaving part of the butt hanging out, and opened the fridge. I pulled out a beer and chugged half of it, and then moved onto the pizza. It was still warm in the middle. I tore off a strip of crust and dropped it into Rex's food bowl. The rest of the slice was for me. I ate half of it, chugged the rest of the beer, and turned to face Morelli. He was leaning in the doorway with his hands shoved into his pockets.

"You didn't come home last night."

"I stayed with a friend," I said thickly. I opened another beer and tried to drink away the guilt. Not a lie, I told myself. Not the complete truth, but still not a lie. Except it sure felt like one.

"I can read between the lines on that one."

My heart was beating harder than usual. I felt like every part of my body had Ranger Was Here tattooed on it. Our eyes locked and I was hit with another guilt-attack.

Morelli tried to swallow the look of pissed-off male ego, and failed.

"Has he invited you over to his empty lot yet?"

"You're being ridiculous." I swept past him into the living room.

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are."

"I don't think so. Do you even know his name? Where he lives? Where his funding comes from?"

I glared at Morelli. With the exception of question number one, I hadn't the slightest. Ranger wasn't big on the whole divulging information thing, but he wasn't big on the lying thing, either. And more importantly, I trusted him.

"Leave Ranger out of this," I said. "This has nothing to do with him."

"Bullshit."

"And what about you?" I asked. "I waited on you for over an hour."

Morelli ruffled his hair. It was part of his self-control routine. Next would be the knuckle-crack. And then his jaw would tighten. "I freaked out," he said. "But your grandmother was so sure. And then your sister, with that whole stomach thing..."

"Right. And your grandmother has never claimed to know the contents of my uterus."

Morelli's Grandma Bella was the matriarch of the Morelli clan. If I had to guess her age, I would set it somewhere between seventy and one-hundred. She claims to be blessed with the gift of foresight, and makes a killer sausage lasagna. Her favorite pastimes include predicting my untimely death, afflicting her unsuspecting enemies with The Eye, a sort-of Italian Burg voodoo, and torturing puppies. Okay, so I wasn't completely sure about the puppies. But I wouldn't be surprised if it happened to be true.

"That's different," Morelli said. "Everyone knows Grandma Bella is crazy."

"Grandma Mazur is crazy," I scoffed. "Grandma Bella is psychotic."

Morelli's cell phone buzzed at his hip. He unclipped it and read the display, and let out a sigh. "I have to go. Enjoy the pizza."

Then he picked his jacket up off the couch and closed the door behind him.

I ate another slice of pizza and fell back onto my bed in my thinking position. I had a tire of flab around my waist and a huge lump in my throat. And I'd just slept with Ranger...again. Okay, so that last part wasn't so bad. Or was it? A tear slid down my cheek and I sniffled. Then, before I could stop myself, I was sobbing for no good reason.

And not just a little sobbing, either. Big, loud mouth-open sobs, which clogged my sinuses and gave my waterproof mascara a run for its money. What was that about?

I wiped my nose on the tail of my shirt and buried my head in my pillow. I tried telling myself I had no reason to be acting this way, that I had an FTA to catch, for chrissake, but that only depressed me more. I heard my cell phone go off in the kitchen. Probably more bad news, I decided. I pulled the covers tightly around my head and closed my eyes. I was half-asleep when I the little hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. There was the unmistakable smell of Bulgari shower gel in close proximity, followed by a noticeable weight as Ranger sat on the edge of the bed.

"Babe," he said, pulling the covers back, "you're a mess."

"Go away," I mumbled. Ranger tore off a strip of toilet paper and handed it to me.

I blotted my nose and hiccupped another half-sob. "I'm fat, I'm alone, and I'm thirty."

"Thirty isn't old."

"I never said it was."

Ranger shook with silent laughter. "Get ready. We're going on a field trip."

I sighed and rolled out onto the floor. I picked myself up and shuffled into the bathroom. I had long black streaks running down my face. Waterproof, my ass. I soaked my entire face in eye makeup remover and scrubbed it clean. Then I shoved my hair up under a ball cap and changed into a sweater and jeans. Ranger was on the couch watching a documentary on the Marine Expeditionary Unit when I came out. He took one look at the sweater and his eyes went dark.

We crossed the lot to Ranger's black SUV and climbed in.

"Shouldn't I be wearing a blindfold? Maybe a pair of cuffs?"

Ranger hid behind a pair of Ray-Bans. "The night's still young, Babe."

"Where are we going, anyway?" I asked. "The Bat Cave?"

Ranger almost grinned. Then he looked at me and said, "No. Marsillio's."

"Even better." I sunk into the seat and rested my head against my palm. I tried to catch a glimpse of myself in the side mirror, but couldn't see past the tinted windows.

Probably it was for the best. I felt splotchy.

I shifted in my seat. "What's your name?"

Ranger arched and eyebrow and turned to face me, glancing at the road every few seconds. "Babe, you know my name."

"Just checking."

Ranger let out a sigh. He looked like he could use another run.

"I think we should set some ground rules."

"What did you have in mind?" Ranger asked.

"Well, your closet, for starters. I assume you've seen it." Ranger grimaced. "It wasn't my idea, I swear."

"I know. I've already spoken to Ella."

"It's not her fault," I said. "She thinks I'm Julia Roberts."

Ranger was shaking with silent laughter. "Babe?"

"You know," I explained, "in Pretty Woman."

The corners of his mouth dropped as comprehension dawned on him. "She thinks I'm paying you?"

"Well, you are."

"Not for that."

"No, not for that. And don't worry. I think she got the gist."

Ranger nodded.

"You should probably take all that stuff back, too." Except for the pajamas. Those would have to be pried from my cold, dead hands.

"That's okay," he said. "And you can keep the drawer. I like the idea of being that close to your underwear." He reached over and ran a finger along the inside of my thigh.

Heat rushed into all the right spots, and I felt my cheeks flush.

"And then there's that other thing."

"What thing?"

"Well, the whole sleeping-together thing."

The grimace returned and Ranger moved his hand from the inside of my thigh and rested it on the steering wheel. He shifted in his seat and pretended to check his rear-view mirror. And that was the end of the conversation.

We were seated at a table in the back. Ranger was watching me finish off the last of the tiramisu. Neither of us had said much during dinner. No surprise there. Ranger wasn't big on small talk.

I pushed the plate away and looked at Ranger. We'd done dinner loads of times before. It was platonic. Just two friends out grabbing a bite to eat. This felt different somehow. This felt like work.

"Okay," I said, folding my arms over my chest. "Let's hear it."

Ranger was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "I want you to give up Warner."

I don't know what I had expected, but that certainly wasn't it. I narrowed my eyes on Ranger and asked, "Is that what this is about?"

Ranger shook his head. "No," he said. "This was about dinner. Warner is business."

"You should know better than to mix business with pleasure."

We stared at each other for a full minute before he continued. "Warner is a high bond. And he's dangerous. He should've come to Rangeman."

"Vinnie didn't give Warner to Rangeman," I said, trying to keep my voice as calm and even as Ranger's. It wasn't working. "He gave him to me. And I intend to collect."

Personally, I didn't give a shit about bringing in Warner. But I didn't like Ranger's attitude. Both he and Morelli had a nasty habit of stepping in and taking over when they thought things were over my head. The only difference was that Morelli yelled and cursed and fought about it. Ranger was a little more subtle. And a lot more sneaky.

"I'm not used to my men disobeying a direct order," Ranger said in a low tone.

"I thought we had come to the understanding that I'm not like your men," I shot back.

Ranger was blank-faced, staring at me. He didn't look angry, but with Ranger it was hard to tell. Then he said, "One week. You'll have full access to Rangeman's resources, and you'll be working with a team. You'll carry loaded at all times or the deal's off. Those are the terms."

"What if I don't like those terms?"

"I'll call Vinnie and have him pull Warner tomorrow."

He had me there. Vinnie might be family, but he was also a spineless weasel. He'd castrate himself before he crossed Ranger.

I sighed. "Then I guess we have a deal."

I let Ranger pay for dinner and we climbed back in the SUV. It was a little after seven and already it was dark out. We were on the way back to my apartment when my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my bag by the L-shaped antenna. The rest of the phone dangled loosely by the few remaining joints. I pressed the green button, but the phone kept ringing, so I pressed it again. I kept pressing the button until I could hear Morelli on the other end.

"Working late again?"

"Don't start."

"I need a favor."

"Okay."

"Okay, you'll do it?"

"Okay, tell me what it is and then I'll decide."

Morelli sighed. "I have to go to Boston to give a deposition. I need someone to

Bob-sit."

"For how long?"

"A few days. A week, tops."

I nodded to myself. "Fine. I'll pick him up on the way home."

"That's okay," Morelli said. "I let him into your apartment before I left."

"You what? He'll eat the place down!"

"Sorry, Cupcake. You're breaking up." Morelli faked some static noise and disconnected. I folded my cell phone and it broke clean in half. I dropped both pieces into my bag and kicked it.

We pulled into the lot at my apartment complex and Ranger shut off the engine, and turned to face me. His eyes were set on me, unwavering. He was twirling a stray curl between his fingers. Then he trailed his fingers around my neck and pulled me into a kiss.

His tongue slid past my lips and I gripped his shirt at the shoulders.

"Maybe I should come up," he said. "Make sure no one's waiting on you." t would have been sexy had it been a come-on.

I nodded, and we kissed some more. Then I waited while he beeped the SUV locked, and we took the elevator to the second floor.

"Going up," said Mrs. Bestler. She looked Ranger up and down and then turned to me. "There's a funny smell coming from your apartment. We think maybe you've got another dead body in there."

I gave myself a mental head-slap and cursed Morelli aloud. The elevator doors opened and we were all three hit with some particularly nasty fumes.

"Oh, God," I said, pressing the doors closed again. Then I threw up a little in my mouth. I braced myself and pressed the Open button again. I ran down the hall and threw open the apartment door, and gagged. My apartment was covered in stinky, sticky, slimy Bob-vomit.

I rushed forward to open one of the windows and slid in some clear puke, and fell flat on my ass. I made a wailing sound and took off into the bathroom. I stepped into the bathtub, boots and all, and turned on the shower. Then I started peeling off the yucky clothing. I threw up a little in the toilet, rinsed my mouth, and padded back into the living room armed with a wad of toilet paper. I was sopping wet, clad in only lace panties and the purple cami. I used the toilet paper to wipe up one of the pools of dog barf and made a few disgusting sounds as I dumped it into the toilet. I grabbed another wad of toilet paper and ran back into the living room. Ranger was kneeling by the couch where Bob lay, still and lifeless, except for the occasional wheezing.

"You!" I screamed at Bob. I swooped down and wiped up another pile and ran back to the bathroom, and flushed it. "You are so going to - Gaaaargh! I stepped in it! I fucking stepped in it! Damn it!" I hobbled to the bathroom on one leg and climbed back into the shower. I sat on the edge of the tub and scrubbed the bottom of my foot until my fingers were sore.

"That's it!" I walked back into the living room and picked up the cordless phone. Morelli answered after the third ring. "You son-of-a-bitch!" I cradled the phone between my ear and shoulder as I bent down to wipe up another vomit-puddle and carried it into the bathroom.

"Now what?" Morelli sighed.

"Don't you 'now what' me, asshole! You did it on purpose, didn't you? What did you feed him? Butter? Shaving cream? A handful of those little packets of stuff that come with new shoes? You know how he just loves those!"

"Uh-oh."

"You ruined my apartment!" I screamed.

"I didn't do it on purpose, I swear. He was hungry, so I gave him some pizza.

That's all. I didn't even feed him the box this time."

I ran to the fridge and opened the pizza box. There were still three pieces left. Probably Morelli had left them for me as a snack. I disconnected, cleaned up the last of the mess, and opened all of the windows so the place would air out. Bob was still on my couch with his big purple tongue sticking out. Ranger held one of Bob's eyes open, then scratched him behind the ears. Bob's tail gave a half-hearted wag.

"You've got a very sick dog here, Babe." Ranger pressed on Bob's stomach and Bob coughed. "Any idea what he could have gotten into?"

I shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. Morelli says he just gave him some pizza."

Ranger got up and went to the fridge. He pulled the pizza box out, opened it, took a piece, and sniffed. "How long have you had this?" he asked.

"Morelli picked it up this afternoon."

Ranger touched his finger to a slice and put it to his tongue. Then he made a face went back to the couch.

"Hurry up and get dressed," he said.

He slid his arms under Bob and lifted him with ease. I jumped up and down in a pair of tighter-than-usual jeans, buttoned the fly, and slid my feet into a pair of sneakers.

"Why? What's going on?"

"Babe, your dog's been poisoned."