They sent Sasori and Deidara to track down Gaara, and they sent Sakura with them to clear the way. Despite being the weakest of the Bijuu, Pein still erred on the side of caution when it came to battling Shukaku and its host. He wanted Sasori and Deidara both at full strength, so Sakura was to eliminate any shinobi in their path so that they wouldn't have to waste a single ounce of chakra until they reached Suna.
Sakura didn't mind the arrangement. It let her work alone for the most part, away from Sasori and letting Deidera handle the brunt of his irritable personality. She kept her check-ins brief as she scouted the way, just enough to let them know she was alive and there wasn't a small army waiting to ambush them up ahead.
Sasori always looked mildly disappointed that she came back alive, even through his puppet monster face. But he seemed to understand that this was not the kind of mission where he could spend his time being petty, so he said nothing to her.
She had to admit, he and Deidara worked well together. Sure, they constantly bickered about art, but it wasn't the kind of murderous and spiteful anger she was used to from Sasori. And despite all their differences, when it was time for a fight they moved with solid synchronisation, each trusting the other to do their part. Even their outfits matched, both choosing the standard hat and cloak wrapped fully around them.
Sakura stuck out like a sore thumb in comparison. While her mesh shirt and trousers were standard shinobi gear, her red hoodie with black stripes on the shoulders was certainly not. That, combined with her hair colour made her look like she was from an entirely different generation than the two members she was travelling with. Which, in a way, she was. Deidara may be not that much older than her, but Sasori was definitely from a very different era.
Sakura still didn't understand why Konan had given her the hoodie anyways. She remembered having a similar one when she was younger, black instead of red. But that had been her only uniform, and now she had more than one. She just woke up last week with a bunch of new outfits in her wardrobe, and Konan had informed her that she could choose what to wear for each mission.
It seemed like a bad idea, giving weapons like her choices. It went against the whole 'not a person' thing they'd been pushing on her all Sakura's life. But Sakura could see the logic, if she squinted. Unlike kunai or senbon, Sakura had a brain. Different missions required different outfits, and it would be a waste of time for someone like Konan to pick them out for her when Sakura was perfectly capable of determining the most suitable fit on her own.
She was glad she picked the hoodie for this mission. She tied it around her waist during the day as she trekked through the desert, then wore it at night once the air turned cold. She barely slept, relying on chakra pills to sustain her energy, but when she did choose to rest the hoodie also worked as a pillow. It was useful, practical. And also stylish, although she would never say that part out loud. Weapons weren't supposed to have a sense of fashion.
She was finding new and exciting ways to fail her training every day.
Alone with her thoughts in the desert, she couldn't stop her mind from returning to that intel mission. Even though it had been months since Konan found her and stopped her from making a huge mistake, Sakura still felt a hot flush of shame rise in her throat whenever she remembered. She'd been drunk on curiosity, fascinated by this new angle of manipulation she'd unlocked. And then, once she was in too deep, she was too scared to resist.
But was it really Sakura's fault? All her life she'd been taught that the only way to get through something was to just grit her teeth and do it. If she was assigned a mission, she either completed it or died. Saying no was never an option she was given.
Sakura had a feeling Konan understood the unfairness of that. It was probably part of the reason for all these nice new outfits. Pein certainly didn't care one way or the other about the unfairness of the expectations placed on her.
Hm. She almost sounded resentful there. Not a good path to go down. She concentrated on those feelings, and then carefully tucked them as far back in her mind as she could. Buried right next to the fear she felt facing the nine tails jinchuriki, and the curiosity every time someone mentioned Konoha. Things that might be important later, but wouldn't help her survive right now.
It was a nice mental exercise, it made her feel like she had control. But Sakura could tell that the event was still bleeding through into her emotions, influencing her actions. The most logical way to clear out the Suna shinobi blocking the path to their city was to use stealth and speed, kill them before they even knew who was attacking. She could have done this easily. She probably should have, if she was acting as a proper weapon with nothing but pure logic guiding her decisions.
But every time she saw a batch of shinobi, hidden away at various guard posts, her mind went back to the room, to the man's hands touching her. The fear she felt, the tears and nausea, the helplessness even though she could have broken his wrist at any point.
No man was going to touch her again. Not unless she truly wanted them too. Righting that wrong came before executing the mission flawlessly. If Pein wanted his weapon performing perfectly, then this was what she had to do to truly move past that night.
A group of five shinobi lay ahead of her, playing cards as they sat inside a small sand hut. Instead of stealth, Sakura just walked up to the guardpost. She watched them tense, watched them frown and reach for their weapons, more wary than curious at this lone pink and red teenager wandering the vast desert surrounding Suna.
Then she watched it really register with them; her hair colour, gender, size. She watched their eyes widen with fear, and savoured the thrill of pride it brought her.
They'd heard of her.
Two of them grabbed their weapons and charged, the remaining three frantically making hand seals. Sakura kept her hands in the pockets of her hoodie, walking steadily towards them as the two men rushed towards her. She waited, watching as they moved in, as their swords swung. One aiming for her neck, the other trying to split her head in two.
Wait for it.
Three inches away. Two inches.
One.
Sakura used shunshin and vanished. Neither sword touched a hair on her head, and instead she moved directly behind the first shinobi. Her hand was already filled with chakra, and with a swift punch she broke his spine in half. He screamed, and his comrade turned around, just in time to catch a kick to his stomach that ruptured it open.
Two down. Not a single scratch.
The other three began throwing ninjutsu at her. The first one opened his mouth and blew, the wind rushing across the sand with such force it left waves as it moved. Sakura dodged, mildly impressed. She had never seen that jutsu before.
The second one used the time his comrade bought to surround her with a sandstorm barrier. The third one, surprisingly, used a suiton justu. Spikes of water, sharp enough to slice through skin and bone, shot up from the ground around Sakura. They were trying to trap her, make her run around like a scared rat until the water inevitably cut her.
It made sense. They'd watched her kill two of their comrades in an instant. Keeping her contained was the smartest option.
Unfortunately, they just weren't strong enough.
One solid punch was enough to break free from the sand barrier. She saw terror in all three of their eyes, hands reaching for kunai or swords to defend themselves.
They were dead before they managed to draw a single weapon.
Sakura dusted herself off, carefully checking her body for scratches. She was covered in sand, and she'd been that way since arriving in the desert. The sand was a little irritating, but that was all. Even smashing through a barrier of it hadn't caused her to bleed.
They hadn't touched her. Not a single one. No one could.
Ever again.
She continued on her way, whistling softly with a spring in her step.
"So Sakura, you've been with the Akatsuki all your life yeah?"
They were nearing Suna now, which meant there wasn't much for Sakura left to do. This, unfortunately, also meant that she had no reason not to walk next to Sasori and Deidara. And despite picking up on the hostility between Sakura and Sasori, Deidara didn't seem to care. Hence why he interrupted the almost peaceful silence to ask a trivial question.
"I've been their weapon for as long as I can remember, Deidara-sama." Sakura replied, tone neutral.
Her eyes darted down and met Sasori's. Even with his dull puppet eyes, she could practically feel his sneer. Those first few years had been… challenging.
"So did our glorious leader teach you how to read or write? Did they have assassination classes on Tuesdays and mathematics on Thursday, yeah?"
"No, I was found with most of the knowledge already in my head." Sakura shrugged, ignoring Deidara's baffled look. It wasn't like she understood it any better than he did. "I could read and write and do maths. Also very advanced medical ninjutsu for some reason, but only when there was an injury nearby. I trained with Tsunade for a year which turned that into actual knowledge, not just memory triggers."
"Tsunade? As in one of the Sannin? How did you manage that, yeah?"
"Made a bet. She lost."
Deidara scowled. Sakura knew making both Akatsuki members who were on this mission with her irritated was not the wisest move, but those memories with Tsunade were hers. They could have every other part of her, but none of the Akatsuki were entitled to that year. The closest she'd ever come to feeling peace, and the memories that made her the most weak and vulnerable. There was no room for that kind of sensitivity in this line of work, and so she kept those memories in yet another special place in her mind. Deidara's ire wasn't worth bringing them out, they were simply too precious for that.
"So you never went to school then, yeah?" Sasori gave a grumpy sigh as Deidara kept going. "Who's the Kage of Iwa?"
"Ohnoki the Fence-Sitter." Sakura raised an eyebrow at Deidara's amusement. "I've been on hundreds if not thousands of missions, Deidara-sama. I'm well aware of who the Kage are."
"Alright but what about basic life skills, yeah? Do you know how to balance a spreadsheet?"
"Do you?"
Deidara opened his mouth. Closed it. Hummed thoughtfully.
"I guess that's what we have Kakuzu for, yeah."
Sakura nodded, and deliberately didn't mention how Konan also went through Kakuzu's budget before Pein approved it. Let Kakuzu handle all their budget related irritation Deidara might have, Konan had enough to do with a whole village to run.
Plus you like her better than Kakuzu.
Shut up, weapons don't have feelings.
"I see the walls." Sasori said, and Sakura grinned internally at how relieved he sounded to be free of this conversation. "Time for the next phase. Scram, brat. Make sure there aren't any stragglers on our way back."
She bowed, ignoring Deidara's pout. His questions were less insulting than her average interaction with Sasori, but they were also a bit too normal. It was disconcerting, made her feel on edge.
She took off back the way they came while Deidara and Sasori went to capture the Kazekage.
Gaara. A boy her age, made into a weapon for his village but rose to become their leader despite it. A unique journey, no other jinchuriki had ever accomplished that level of public approval before. Even the ones who weren't treated terribly by the village usually relied on a powerful figure or two to protect them from scorn, but their intel seemed to indicate that Gaara had done it all alone. From lonely monster to respected man, right up to the very top of the ladder.
For a second she imagined herself leading the Akatsuki, sending them on missions while they bowed in respect. It was such an absurd image she almost laughed out loud.
Gaara could keep that respect. At the end of the day he would be dead, and Sakura would still be alive. No amount of loved ones and care would change that.
The life of a weapon was full of blood and pain and death. It could also, on occasion, be incredibly boring.
It seemed this mission would be one of the duller kinds.
Not for the Akatsuki members, no. They got to infiltrate Suna and take down a jinchuriki, with the added challenge of not killing it. They got chased all the way back to the hideout, with substitutions of Itachi and Kisame sent out to confront the Konoha team that joined the rescue mission. They got to perform an elaborate ritual to seal away the Ichibi in that big statue Pein summoned.
Sakura picked off a few chunin on her way back, and then she just guarded the entrance.
Over the years she'd heard a few shinobi complain about boring jobs. Most of them ended their rants by saying that at least they were getting paid. That or she slit their throats because the mission was time sensitive and she couldn't afford loose ends.
She was standing here, counting birds whenever they flew by, and she wasn't even getting paid for it. If only there was something around here to punch, she'd even take a stray genin if it would stave off this boredom she wasn't supposed to have.
Just when she got tempted to retrace her steps in case any wandering shinobi were unlucky enough to cross her path, Deidara and Sasori finally showed up. Rather dramatically too, with Gaara's body hanging limply off the back of Deidara's bird, and Deidara himself missing an arm. Sasori looked completely unharmed, which Sakura did her best not to be disappointed about.
"Are you in need of medical assistance, Deidara-sama?"
"No need." Deidara grinned, wild and arrogant, but deservedly so in Sakura's opinion. "I still have the arm, Kakuzu can stitch it back on later, yeah? You just wait outside, make sure no one interrupts the ritual."
She nodded, stepping aside to let them in. As they passed, her eyes drifted down to the body of the Kazekage. She felt a familiar twinge in her brain, one that she'd long associated with her amnesia. She expected some flash of memory or sensation, but instead all she felt was a shudder of fear.
Odd. Nowhere near as bad as the Kyuubi, but still more of a reaction than the other jinchuriki. Was it to do with his age? The fact that both Gaara and Naruto were around the same age as her? Was it to do with her memories at all, or was it simply fear that there were others out there as young as she was with this level of power?
Her reaction was worth noting, that Sakura was sure of. Once was a coincidence, but two jinchuriki causing a reaction in her mind she couldn't place? A connection worth jotting down. Maybe before the Akatsuki she had been part of a secret programme aimed at creating something that could fight jinchuriki. She'd theorise more on it once she was back in Ame.
The cave sealed shut behind her. Sakura rested against the outside wall of it, a simple henge in place to make her look like a bunch of vines. She wasn't sure if anyone from Suna or Konoha would successfully reach the cave, but it didn't hurt to try for the element of surprise.
Three incredibly dull days passed. Kisame and Itachi sent doubles to fight the Konoha teams and delay them. Sakura kept position, using nearby water to drink and eating ration pills to keep her energy up. She got brief updates from Pein through her communication seal, just enough to know that Might Gai and Kakashi's teams were the ones Konoha sent to assist in the rescue.
Which meant she would likely be facing Naruto and the Kyuubi again. Only this time, she'd have Sasori as an audience when she lost her mind. How wonderful.
After three days, when her muscles were starting to get stiff no matter how many stretches and brief exercises she did, Pein finally announced to her that they had finished.
It's done. Protect the Akatsuki as they retreat back to Ame. Capture the Kyuubi if possible.
Yes, Pein-sama.
Sakura took a breath. Gaara was dead then. Whatever connection they had, she'd never get to find out about it. A shame, but there was nothing she could do.
Perhaps she would have ruminated a little more, if four Konoha shinobi didn't choose that moment to materialise in front of her. Sakura gave a quick assessment of them. Might Gai, a younger shinobi who looked like his son, a kunoichi she didn't recognise, and-
A Byakugan user. Shit.
She flickered away, and the three younger shinobi yelled out in surprise. Might Gai didn't so much as flinch, eyes tracking her as she used shunshin to get out of range. She'd heard enough about this man to give herself a very wide berth, and cast a genjutsu on top of it for extra cover. Maybe a bit overkill, but better safe than sorry.
Another four shinobi flickered down in front of Gai's team. Sakura grit her teeth at the familiar heads of blonde and silver hair.
Not overkill enough then. Should she run? Abandon Deidara and Sasori and hope they made it out alive? Pein would be upset, but was it worth risking his ire if it meant she didn't have to face the Kyuubi? One bout of that irrational fear and she'd be useless, easy weak picking. And Kakashi wouldn't hesitate to kill her, she was certain of it.
The decision was taken out of her hands when she heard four sets of footsteps coming her way. Gai's team, on their way to break the barrier. She wondered whether or not she should intervene, but well… the trap surrounding the barrier was fairly strong. At the very least, it should delay them enough that they wouldn't be able to stop Sasori and Deidara from escaping.
She kept her genjutsu up and gave them a wide berth. Both Gai and the Byakugan user sensed her, but they didn't change course. Good, she'd rather they just left each other alone. The seal traps would handle that team.
It was Kakashi's team that was the problem. Sakura moved closer to the edge of the cliff. Kakashi and the old woman could sense her, she knew that much. But neither seemed inclined to make the first move. They were waiting to see what she would do.
Sakura had her orders. She also had a strong will to live. Testing her strength was fun when she knew what she was up against. The Kyuubi tore that confidence to shreds, making her own mind an unpredictable enemy. So she stayed at the top of the cliff, watching from a distance as they worked out how to destroy the boulder blocking the entrance to the cave.
Sasori and Deidara would have had to destroy it anyway in order to get out. Not like they could capture the Kyuubi if they hid inside. So technically, she wasn't disobeying orders by letting it happen.
But she should probably get inside that cave too. It was time to be a good little weapon, and not give Sasori anything to complain about in the mission report.
Sakura made her hand seals, and sent silent thanks to Kisame for showing her this jutsu. Even if he had used it during a spar to almost drown her in dirt.
"Doton: Dochu Senko"
The ground beneath her feet became liquid. She took a deep breath, and then sank down into it, carefully channeling her chakra below her to keep the dirt shifting from solid to fluid. It felt suffocating the first time she tried it, but now she almost enjoyed how peaceful it was. If she had to die, being buried alive was a nicer way to go than being ripped apart by a giant fox or poisoned by Sasori.
But of course, she didn't die. The justu worked perfectly, and she popped out in the cave right behind Sasori and Deidara. They both ignored her, caught up in a debate over who should capture the Kyuubi while Kakashi's team stood in the entrance of the cave, already looking shaken. There was evidence of a small scuffle, deflected weaponry on the ground and kunai drawn. But nothing serious yet, she hadn't missed all the fun.
"Hey!" Naruto's eyes widened when he saw her, and he pointed a trembling finger her way. "What the hell are you doing here? Don't tell me you have something to do with Gaara's kidnapping!"
"Old friends of yours, Sakura?" Deidara grinned.
"Enemies, unfortunately." Sakura replied calmly.
And what a relief it was that she could be calm. The jinchuriki was in front of her, eyes red and shaking with rage, and yet she felt fine. No headache, no fear, no feeling of confusion. Sakura had never once believed in luck, but maybe it was finally on her side.
"I'll deal with you later." Naruto snarled at her, and she raised an eyebrow in response. "Give Gaara back right now!"
"Well that settles it." Deidara hopped back on his clay bird. "Good luck you two! See you later!"
He flew out of the cave, Gaara's body still dangling from the end of the bird. Naruto let out a snarl that was almost feral, and then he was charging after him. Kakashi sighed, and cast a wary look Sakura's way, but in the end he took off after Naruto.
That left four of them. Sakura, Sasori, the old lady who was definitely more of a threat than she looked, and…
The girl. The girl from Naruto's team. Sakura didn't even remember her name. She should be glad it wasn't the Uchiha boy. Out of the trio of genin she'd had to deal with while fighting Kakashi, this girl had been the least likely to trigger anything in her. Sakura had looked at her last time and not felt a single bit of longing or wistfulness, just confusion and discomfort about what she was doing there.
So the fact that she was the member of Kakashi's team Sakura was now facing should be a good thing. A very good thing. Sakura should be in complete control right now.
Except she wasn't. Because luck was never on her fucking side.
That discomfort from last time was back, only ten times stronger. It swept into Sakura's head like a raging waterfall the second she laid eyes on the girl properly, filling it completely with a buzzing sound. Her headache came back in a single blink of her eyes, and if her pain tolerance wasn't incredibly high she would have fallen to her knees.
Not her. She's not supposed to be here. She's not supposed to be standing there. She's not supposed to exist here. It's not her. It was never her. She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't be here.
Why her brain suddenly cared so much about this random girl was beyond Sakura, but the emotions she triggered were almost as intense as the Kyuubi. There was no fear, just rage. She heard Sasori say something, but not a single word registered past the buzzing in her mind. There was just something so wrong about that girl being here. It went all the way past discomfort, Sakura couldn't stand the sight of it. Every instinct in her body was screaming at her to make it stop, to get rid of the sight in front of her. It built up and up, until she could no longer think past the urge to just destroy and fight.
Sasori and the old lady were still talking. The girl was watching them anxiously. No one was paying close attention to Sakura.
She moved.
The old lady reacted first, a chakra thread reaching out to try and yank the girl away. But she was slow, far too slow. She'd been too focused on Sasori, not seeing Sakura as a threat worth worrying about. The girl's eyes widened, and Sakura had a split second of euphoria at the terror she saw in them.
Then her fist ripped through the girl's chest, crushing her heart and lungs and breaking her spine.
The old lady pulled, but all she managed to rescue with her chakra threads was a corpse. Sakura had gone for the kill, and the girl was dead before she even hit the ground.
Sakura used her shunshin to jump back to Sasori's side, a hail of senbon from the old lady following in her wake. Sakura and Sasori made quick work of deflecting them. Once the lady stopped her barrage, Sakura knelt down on one knee and pressed a bloody fist into the ground, deliberately avoiding eye contact.
She didn't know how to explain what had just happened. She didn't know why it had just happened. The buzzing in her head had stopped, and the joy she felt at killing that girl had quickly turned into nausea. Until she was far away from Kakashi's whole damn team, the best thing to do now was to just stay quiet and let Sasori fight.
Except Sasori wasn't fighting. The old lady had fury in her eyes, her shawl ripped off her head as she clutched the girl's body close to her. But she wasn't moving any closer, and Sasori wasn't moving to attack her either. Instead, he was looking at Sakura.
"What are your orders, Sasori-sama?" She tried to keep her voice smooth, inflectionless. "Do you wish to fight this woman alone or should I assist?"
Silence. Not a good sign.
"You killed her." Sasori said at last, and Sakura's stomach sank at the glee in his voice. "I didn't give a single order, but you killed her."
"I apologise, Sasori-sama." Calm, she needed to stay calm. "I saw an insignificant player and determined that I should remove her quickly, before she could annoy you."
"You acted on your own." Sasori sounded over the moon. "You know I prefer you to stay away from my fights, but you saw that girl and you needed to kill her, didn't you? I saw the look on your face."
"I apolog-"
"You're malfunctioning." Sasori said each syllable like it was the greatest news he'd ever received. "You're not acting as a weapon, you can't even lie well about it. You killed that girl because you wanted to."
Sakura stayed silent, her mind racing as she tried to find a way out of this. He wasn't wrong, and he knew it. What were her options?
"I knew it for years." Sasori was still gloating. "Everyone else was so convinced that you were completely subservient to us, a mindless tool. But I knew the truth. You're a loose canon, a ticking time bomb. And I finally have proof."
He thought he had the upper hand, that he had finally won against her. Perhaps he expected her to start crying and begging for mercy. But Sakura had suffered enough torture at his hands to know that mercy had never been on the table. From the second she woke up on that table and tried to kill him, this day had been coming. Perhaps it was fate, or perhaps Sasori's paranoia and hatred had created a self fulfilling prophecy. All Sakura knew was that the next words he spoke sealed his fate.
"When I give my mission report to our dear leader, he'll have no choice but to deal with you the way he should have from the beginning."
Well that was it then. Sakura straightened up from her crouch, and met Sasori's dead puppet eyes with an ice cold gaze of her own.
If Sakura was to survive, Sasori could not leave this cave alive.