GOES TO WASHINGTON(1999)
Goes to Washington is a 1999 remake of the 1939 film. Starring Mel Gibson as Jefferson Smith[1]. The film originally began as a star vehicle for Eddie Murphy under the title of The Distinguished Gentlemen but fell into Developed Hell, allowing Mel Gibson to secure the rights. The 1996 death of Bill Clinton led to the film, which was to star John Travolta at one point, being delayed until a 1999 release. Action films were also seen as in bad taste, leading to the cancellation of a script called Payback. While the Presidency changed again during production, it was still completed and released. The film was seen as decent but that Gibson was no Jimmy Stewart and in fact seemed out of place, being an action star known forThe Street Warrior[2, andBraveheart.Despite this the film received good reviews despite Gibson himself hating it and wanting to return to action movies. Jimmy Stewart's granddaughter threatened to sue.
"Dad hated that movie. Mostly because Mom thought Mel Gibson was hot. In fact he even wrote a strongly worded letter to Mel Gibson about it. Gibson not only read it but wrote back and agreed with most of the points made. He invited us to LA, where we arrived at the George Kennedy Airport. The two met and actually became good friends. Maybe a little too good. Dad was a bad influence on him, and Vice Versa. The two started writing a movie together. Now Dad once pitched a movie to Ron Howard but his ideas are strange. Mel Gibson was more than a little anti-Semitic, but I don't think Dad realized it. Mel had this idea for a movie about Jesus and he wanted to make an action film again. This would result inPassion of the Christ,which of course would led toPassion of the Christ 2: Crucify This[3].The films were based very loosely on the true story of Jesus fighting Demons in the Apocalypse. The Sequel would bring it back to the present day. I don't think I need to tell you the immense amount of backlash there was."
-Do the Bartman: The Unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson.
" ROBERT DOWNEY JR CAUGHT IN POLICE SHOOT OUT"
Following a relapse from his time at the Betty Ford Clinic…
- LA Times[4].
"WE'RE LESBIANS"
-LA Tabloid reporting on Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres[5].
"I got tested. Turns out I have ADD. Yeah. Anyway they put me on this medicine called Focusyn. It honestly worked at first. I felt more focused, but then I started to get paranoid. I could see the truth. Major League Baseball was spying on all of the town using satellites. No one believed me..well I think they did since all those conspiracies came to light but all of them were too scared to do something about it…So I ran away. I had to expose the truth. It broke my heart to leave Linda behind."
-Do the Bartman: The Unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson.
1999 SPRINGFIELD TANK RAMPAGE
The 1999 Springfield Tank Rampage is an Incident in which 17 year old Bart Simpson hijacked a tank from Rommelwood Military Academy. He caused Millions in property damage while rampaging through the town but did not harm anyone(intentionally so). His plan was to reach the headquarters of the MBA, which he believed was spying on the town of Springfield. He discovered from his sister Lisa running up to him that the MBA Headquarters was in Manhattan, upon which he intended to continue towards that location only for the tank to become stuck. He was taken into custody[6].
-Infosphere, 1999 Springfield Tank Rampage
"Bart was in Prison, awaiting trial. We promised to get him a good lawyer. He joked that at least Lionel Hutz was dead. A bit if a morbid joke. He seemed to really believe the MBA was spying on us. I promised him I'd look into it.
Then there was dad. He'd been Mayor briefly before the bomb dropped. Now Springfield was back but he didn't really seem to want his old job back and was fine with just letting me and Mensa run it. He seemed to be looking for something to do. He settled on Food Critic. When he started he gave nothing but positive reviews. Of course when he was criticized for this he went too far in the other direction and gave bad reviews, which also caused problems "
-Moaning Lisa: The Autobiography of Lisa Parkfield.
The frying Dutchman was closed that night. A Painted image of the Sea Captain declared it so on the front as "We Arrr Closed."
Several Restaurant owners gathered around. Luigi spoke first.
"Homer is outta control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a Horse head in his bed. He ate the head and Gave it a bad review. True Story."
The Sea Captain stood up.
"Yaargh! Well I've had it with Homer. His bad reviews are sinking our businesses."
"Then why did you put yours in the window' asked Akira, Sushi chef at the Happy Sumo and former 1950's child star on Japanese television before his big break on Star Trek.
Sure enough, a page from the Springfield Shopper Restaurant review section was taped to the door.
"THAR, SHE BLOWS.'
-By Homer .
The Sea Captain lowered his head in Shame
"Arrr.. It covered the D from the Health Inspector."
"Well I say we ban Homer from our restaurants."
" No that would be impolite. I say we kill him."
Akira was the one to suggest this. In fairness he had done so before with the blowfish, though by accident. Now he was planning to do it on purpose.
The owner of Izzy's Deli, Izzy Kadetz, stood up.
"Now hold on a minute. Are we restaurant doers or are we murderers."
"Does that answer your question."
The Sea Captain pointed to a wall. A Swordfish was mounted on one side with a corresponding plaque. The other side had a Blue Marlin. The middle had a plaque reading Homer. Enough space for a human head.
"We kill him at the taste of Springfield festival." Declared Akira. " We'll give him all he can eat. Till he can eat no more. Then he'll get his just desserts."
Akira gestured to a chair, which turned around to reveal a French chef. Or so it seems, he was actually an assassin. He held up a picture in a book displaying a chocolate Eclair:"La Bomba."
"This will be Homer Simpson's last Lagniappe."
"C'mon. You're gonna kill him with a pastry. I've seen this man eat a bowl of change."
The Frenchman pointed to the Eclair on the page, oozing yellow filling.
This eclair is over one million calories. 25 pounds of butter per square inch. Covered with chocolate so dark. Light cannot escape its surface[7]."
The other restaurant owners with trolling mouths, moved to grasp at the picture but were slapped away.
"No. No. No. This is just a picture, but Homer Simpson will find the real thing both delicious and deadly. "
"Ah yes. Death by Chocolate." Akira said, chucking at his own joke.
"And poison. I'll stick in some poison."
All inside laughed maniacally.
Homer walked into the taste of Springfield. Something seemed off to Marge and she warned Homer about this bad feeling. Lisa was also there as a member of MENSA. Seeing Homer enter, the hitman opened his briefcase and assembled a whisk like assembling a rival in metallic parts.
Homer was sitting at a table eating through another plate.
"Pedestrian." He muttered with his mouth full. Luigi swapped the plate. He tasted it.
"Uninspired."
Luigi prepared to switch the plate. Homer shot a hand out.
"I didn't say stop."
From his own Booth, the Sea Captain looked at him through a telescope.
"Lard Ho! Arr. It be Homer. He's replaced the Whale in me nightmares."
"Well Don't Worry. The giant Eclair will knock Homer off the Food page and into the Obituary. "
Both started laughing. They failed to notice that Hugo was crouching and listening in on them. He quickly ran to tell Marge and Lisa.
Marge sighed.
"Only your father can turn a part time job in a small town paper and wind up the target of international assassins."
They in turn split to find Homer.
Homer was currently wandering around when he spotted the booth with the Eclair. He approached it with curiosity, The frenchman, the booth "The French Confection" and the eclair. The Frenchman smiled as he approached . Flanders walked in front. The Frenchman tried to look around Flanders to not lose sight of his target.
"Ooh that looks scrum diddly-doodly-dudley-"
"Get Lost!"
"Flanders was taken aback."
"A rude frenchman. Well I never."
Flanders left as Homer eyed. That's when Lisa ran up to him.
"Dad no! It's poisoned."
Homer stopped himself. He thought of the idea of him dying and Professor Frink shouting at him after he was cloned back to life. "A PASTRY! A FUCKING PASTRY!"
The frenchman ran, the police were already chasing him.
Frank Grimes had lost track of time. The aliens had held him. He had been in there with Hank Scorpio, but then one day, Scorpio's eyes widened and he grabbed his arm. Grimes realized he was having a heart attack. They never grab their heart like in movies, they feel the sharp pain in the nerves in the arm and grab that instead. He protested. "I can't die like this. I'm Hank Scorpio. Not like this. It's too..normal…Heart, why have you betrayed me?"Even as he fell to one knee and then collapsed dead. Grime screamed for the aliens to come. They never did Grimes had been forced to eat the body to survive.
They had thrown him into the room with machine. There were these speaker looking things on the green tentacled aliens that spoke broken English.
"Work" they said when he was dragged there.
He looked at them.
"What are you crazy?! I don't know anything about these machines! Look at them. They break all laws of physics. I don't even know how this is possible. They look like something out of a comic book. I can't use these?"
"Learn" was the only response before they left.
Hank Scorpio has been thrown in there too.
"Oh hey Grimes,"
"Don't…call me that!"
"Like the plastic surgery job."
The aliens had fixed Frank's face, the only good thing they'd done to him.
"What do they want with us?"
"Probably for me. To build weapons. Not that I needed to be kidnapped for them to do it."
And they'd worked until Scorpio had died. Unknown to Grimes, this was because of a wish made by Bart Simpson.
He was given a new partner. He was offended at how young she was. She was a teenager named Eliza. She seemed familiar somehow but he couldn't place her. One day the aliens. Brought before them a glass prison containing a young boy with the head of a fly. Grimes was terrified of the sight. The girl weeped. Grimes found himself in the odd place of comforting her.
Then one day, as if by a miracle. The device they were trying to solve activated. It called him in an automatic voice which confused him but regardless he and Eliza stepped through. He laughed and cried tears of joy in a white void. He was finally free.
Then there was an explosion of energy.
" Mom was driving in the woods when she accidentally hit Flanders in the fog. We thought he was dead. While it looked back we rushed him to a hospital. He had cuts and scratches all over his body. Apparently he was attacked by a large wolf earlier that night. We didn't think anything about it until that night…"
-Moaning Lisa: The Autobiography of Lisa Parkfield.
Homer heard screaming as did the rest of the family. They ran in. Homer with a shotgun. Thats where they saw it. Rod and Todd ran out. Homer aimed the shotgun at the giant Wolflike Creature and fired. The first shot missed and hit Maude. She looked at the hole in her chest and then up at the Simpsons before collapsing. The Wolf creature roared at the Simpsons, grabbed the body of Maude and crashed through a window.
Flanders woke up the next day. He was naked. Then he realized he was beside the body of Maude. Still asleep though a little cold he smiled a bit. Then he twitched uncomfortably. He always slept in pajamas. Thats when he woke up and screamed in fear at the torn up and eaten body of Maude Flanders!
"Dear Lord! I'm a Murderer! I'm a murderer! I'M A MURD-DIDDLY-URDERER"
Flanders was arrested. He did not resist. He believed he was now a Werewolf after being attacked and begged to be put under tougher security. Mostly though he was broken up from Maude's Death[8]
A Comic appears and tells a story with the bright colors and hyper style of Jack Kirby drawings and Stan Lee writing.
In another Universe, when entered this universe in 1994, he was not alone, his superhero arch nemesis Radioactive Man had made it just in time and leaped after him into this strange new. Separated, Radioactive Man teamed up with Bart and Lisa Simpson to track down his arch nemesis. While victorious and both were sent back to the pages of their comic, which would have continued without them anyway because of writers. But during the battle a strange event caused by released a wave of energy which granted several of the denizens of Springfield fantastic powers. At ground zero, Bart and Lisa were granted superhuman abilities.
Lisa was granted super strength. This came with its drawbacks. Their Mass was now massive and the ground below them usually cracked. They punches, also sent shockwaves through the air outward. They could leap great heights but this made a crater on the ground. Because of the destruction they caused even accidentally, the Simpsons moved to a new home with stronger material provided by the government. This was once Lisa in there new identity as Clobber Girl carried out several government missions. Controlling the intense strength proved difficult. She accidentally broke President Clinton's hand while shaking it. The experience waned heavily on Lisa and she became a much tougher and aggressive person. They received training from some former superheroes in controlling their strength. It was harder for Lisa as for other heroes like Superman, their strength appeared gradually and so they got used to it. Lisa gained it all at once.
Bart's transformation was even more bizarre. They were thought dead in the blast. Seemingly liquified. Then they reformed. It was discovered that their entire body was now comprised of a gelatin slime like substance. The only parts that remained were their brain, the attached eyes and a tongue of all things. Not to eat, but to speak. They had no bones or muscle to speak of. As a result of this, they could stretch extremely far and shapeshifte their body somewhat. There was a fear from scientists that if they stretched too far then their hand or foot would come off and there'd be no way to reattach it. Some even speculated the appendage would grow into a second Bart. This was based on the idea that since Bart now lacked genitals, the body would have to have some way to reproduce. Study of his cells showed they contained the blueprints to do so, seemingly just being dormant.
From 1995 to 1999, the brother and sister became widely known heroes. They battled terrorists, killer robots, Hank Scorpio, haunted hotels, Mobsters, sentient advertising icons, and aliens[9].
_
Lucy Lawless was the guest at Springfield Books. She was in her full armor as Xena.
"But I'm sure that once girls get to know the real you you'll get plenty of dates. Next Question."
Frink raised his hand and was chosen.
"In Episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa. Yet in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian. Please to explain it."
"Ah yeah. Well. Whenever you notice something like that..a wizard did it. "
"I see alright yes, but in episode 8G4"
"Wizard".
"awwforglavinoutloud."
Then a giant metal magnet burst through the glass roof. Riding on it was Jeff Albertson, formerly known as Comic Book Guy, now known as…
"Hello I am the Collector, and I am here to add you. To my Collection."
In a carefully planned move, Lucy Lawless was lifted up by the metal around her body. She moved her hands to remove the breast plate before noticing the crowd below taking pictures.
Beneath the Android's dungeon a large room had been added. Imprisoned in plastic tubes similar to vacbeds were several celebrities including Matt Groening, Tom Baker, Yasmine Bleeth, Bob Denver, Leonard Nimoy, and Jeri Ryan. The plastic like substance seemed to keep them almost frozen.
"You will be kept here in…near mint condition next to Doctor Who and Yasmine Bleeth."
"What do you need me for. You can have your choice of any of the women in these bags. "
"You would think so but no."
"Really…we'll…I mean..maybe we are meant for each other…growing up I was always tall for my age and the other kids made fun of me…I always hoped for another misunderstood soul to share my pain…you could be that soul collector. "
The Collector was clearly aroused.
"Ooh."
"Come here you. Xena needs Xex."
The Collector moved in for a kiss, Lawless then punched and then broke free from the wrapping. The Collector was sent flying back. He picked himself up.
" You tricked me. With a ruse so hackneyed, It would make Stan Lee blush."
'Shawdup"
Lawless let out a war cry and broke out of the wall.
There was a crash.
The Collector turned to see Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl standing there. Clobber Girl began approaching him. He pulled out a weapon.
"Stand back. I have here the world's only working Phaser. Fired only once to prevent William Shanter from making another album."
The Collector's transformation from the blast in 95' had granted him a heightened genius to build just about any piece of technology he could see. Being a sci fi movie and TV fan, he'd built the phaser. He used it to hold all three attackers hostage,
Clobber Girl charged. The phaser was fired. It was on Stun. Collector wouldn't hurt a child. It took several hits for Lisa to go down, her more durable exterior to compensate for her strength meant she resisted but became slower. Stretch dude was also fired on but easily dodged the beams. His head even split apart for a moment before reattaching. The phaser stopped. The Collector threw it but Bart dodged the thrown weapon. He reached for another weapon, a double edged lightsaber, a replica of that belonging to Darth Maul. He ignited it. It made no difference as Lawless kicked him backwards into a vat of chemicals. The Collector pulled himself out and fell to the ground, he had just enough time to strike a pose of Lorne Greene's Captain Adama from Battlestar Galactica.
Bart and Lisa walked out with Lucy lawless. They parted ways soon after. As they walked away a portal opened up. The siblings immediately took defensive stances. Frank Grimes and Eliza stepped out. Grimes rolled his eyes.
"I guess they'll have to do."
He cleared his throat.
"Hi. We are from another universe. We need your help defeating an alien race."
Bart and Lisa looked at each other.
"Which ones?"
"The Rigellians."
"Oh we already beat them in our universe"
Grimes didn't try to hide his frustration, holding a temper tantrum of sort a his body convulsed in anger. He hated how casually the aliens who had tortured him were so easily dismissed.
"Well fine! Are you gonna help us or not!"
"We need your help saving my brother!"
The two superheroes looked at each other. Bart shrugged.
"Sure we'll help."[10]
As they walked into a portal. An elderly man a white suit noticed. He talked into a device on his wrist. In another universe other identical individuals picked up the message.
What's this? Someone who's not a Rick is using dimensional travel[11]?"
"So what do we do?
"Pass it up to the rest of the Council of Ricks."
THE STAB OF ZORRO(1999 FIlm)
A 1999 American crossover Swashbuckler film[12] starring the character of Zorro, produced by Fox and starring Antonio Banderas as Zorro. The story is set in 1810. Zorro uncovers a conspiracy in California. He is approached and asked by Thomas Jefferson to investigate the conspiracy, which turns out to revolve around the original crown of thorns that adorned the hard of Jesus Christ during his crucifixion(allegedly the filmmakers asked the actual Jesus for details). Zorro follows the conspiracy from Spain to France. There he meets the descendants of the Three Musketeers. They tell the story of how the original three Musketeers helped to retrieve the Crown of thorns and helped free a prisoner in an Iron Mask, which was sealed away for his knowledge on its location. They freed him and found him to be the rightful King of France, helping restore him to the throne. The crown of thorns is also seen to have been in the hands of King Arthur. While in France, Zorro also meets and works with the retired Scarlet Pimpernel. Finally Zorro battled none other than Count Dracula, the main antagonist who seeks the crown of thorns for himself, revealing himself to be Judas. Zorro is nearly bitten but Dracula's fangs fail to puncture the skin. He is able to defeat Dracula by placing the crown of thorns on Dracula's head, immobilizing him until the sun comes up and disintegrates him.
-The Stab of Zorro, Infosphere.
"Dad loved that Zorro movie. He kept imitating this scene where Zorro slaps The Scarlet Pimpernel with a glove and challenges him. The Scarlet Pimpernel accepted but most people didn't when Homer slapped them with a black glove. Then by bad luck, someone, a rich southern colonel, said yes. Homer didn't want to die so he ran and we ran with him. He ran back to his old farmhouse. Nothing was really growing there, except for some strange hybrid of Tobacco and Tomato that he dubbed "Tomacco." It was such a huge success that Laramie Cigarettes bought it for $150 Million. Then one day the animals attacked, somehow they got addicted to it. The Laramie Cigarette guys were killed but we ran off and abandoned it. The Southern Colonel had heard and demanded we duel him. The duel cost Homer one of his clones.
-Moaning Lisa: The Autobiography of Lisa Parkfield.
"Octoplets! Can you believe it! Aku and Manjula had octoplets. We ran into them at Shøp the other day. The stress was getting to them, though they were brief celebrities. They gave them to an entertainer. They asked us to try and get them back. We made a deal with him that wed perform since most of us had careers in the past.
-Moaning Lisa: The Autobiography of Lisa Parkfield.
"Dad, Moe, Carl and Lenny decided to form a biker gang. They chose the name Hell's Satans. Turns out it was taken and the takers showed up and forced Homer to change the name. They then left on good terms. "[13]
-Moaning Lisa: The Autobiography of Lisa Parkfield.
A blonde little girl in pink comes down the stairs. Christmas music plays.
"I see you"
The voice sounds robotic. The Girl smiles and runs to the Christmas Tree. We see a stuffed robotic toy. She picks it up.
"Give me a hug."
The commercial changed to the toy standing in front of a tree facing the camera.
"This Christmas Everyone wants a…[14]"
-Kid First Industries commercial. Later commercials feature Gary Coleman.
December 31, 1999
New Year's Rockin' Eve
"This is Dick Clark Rockin' Down to the Year 2000, and that was White Snake."
From the the Simpsons Home the family was watching. A party was held.
"Super Freak. Super Freak. She's Super Freaky."
After the performance, something the camera caught off stage was two police officers grabbing Rick James as the crows, not seeing this, cheered.
New York, Applied Cryogenics.
The Delivery man stood in a dark room with a large window. The door had been open.
"Pizza Delivery for…"
He checked the paper and frowned in anger and embarassment.
"I. ."
Oh crud. I always thought by this point in my life. I'd be the one making the crank calls.
He checked his watch. Almost ten second left. He wouldn't have enough time to make it back to the Pizzeria and Seymour ,or his family. He put down the pizza on the desk and cracked open a beer.
"Here's to another lousy Millennium."
He raised it up and sipped it. Outside the window the number 10 appeared on a screen. He did not care to even look.
Around the World the countdown had begun. Springfield, Oregon, Quahog, Rhode Island, South Park, Colorado were among the places in the US counting down but it was going around the world.
"Ten!"
"Neuf!"
"Otto!"
"Sabaa!"
"Eksi!"
"Wu!"
"Chaar!"
"Thatto!"
"Ni!"
And then there was a cheer. Phillip unenthusiastically blew a party blower. Then he fell back and lost his balance. He arms flailed. He for a split second saw the shadow of a small creature, his mind mentally assumed it was a rat. He fell back and rolled backward into cryogenic freezer number 40. The door suddenly shut on him and the failed termed automatically, reading 1000 Years. It wasn't supposed to be doing that.
"What the!"
He looked around before a second later being flash frozen. A look of horror on his face.
Fry would awaken in a very changed different world. Some of the world wouldn't wake up at all.
Across the world, Y2K was in full swing. It wasn't Homer's fault this time. Planes were falling out of the sky and household appliances were not working. The Simpsons stayed in there home. Homer prepared to run off but Marge stopped him.
"No looting."
"But I was going to loot you a present."
"Oh alright."
Bart Simpson ran out of the prison along with the other inmates. The chaos had allowed them to orchestrate an escape. Bart spotted Homer in his car, gesturing towards him.
"Hey Boy!"
Bart ran. There was an entire group of cars waiting to pick people up. It seems he wasn't the only one with the idea.
The Simpsons ran over the hill. The rocket came into view.
"Project Exodus".
Lisa had received an invitation but wasn't sure why. There was a line of people waiting. There were a few they recognized, Mel Gibson, Ron Howard, and Mark McWire. Former President Jimmy Carter was there. The current President was likely elsewhere but his spot assured. Lisa saw Stephen Hawking and Paul McCartney. Others were Michael Jordan and Michelle Kwan. Lisa looked at her family.
"They must be started a new civilization on Mars with our best and brightest."
"Yup that's us." Said Homer. Seemingly, jokingly.
Lisa came to the front. There were some government officials
"Lisa Simpson."
"Yes."
"Our intel has indicated that you are a Future President."
"What, how did you?…"
"When you were raptured several witnesses confirmed this, along with a fortuneteller and a Native American shaman. We know their abilities to be genuine. Your survival ensures that we have a future. Therefore we'd like you to come with us on this project."
"Yes."
The man bent down.
"This will be difficult, but you can only take two others with you."
That felt like a physical hit to the heart. Lisa looked at her family.
"I'll give you time to decide."
Lisa walked up to the others. There were looks at each other.
"Take your mother." Said Homer.
"What?"
"Homie I…"
"It'll be fine. Frink's got clones of me.
"Dad! Frink was in line ahead of us." Pointed out Bart. Homer realized he was right. He put his arms on Marge's shoulder.
"Look you'll be safer up there then we'll be down here."
The two kissed one more time. The rest of the family hugged. Marge, Lisa and Maggie walked towards the gate and turned around. Sad eyes with small faint closed smiles and small waves goodbye. Homer, Bart, Hugo and Herb waved back with the same sad expression. Homer though of the words "Do it for her." Again, but now it was much broader.
One of Maggie's green tentacles briefly emerged from beneath her blue oversized shirt.
Afterwards the four walked away. They then noticed nearby another ship and walked towards it. This one advertised that is was free. They didn't question it. They just ran.
As the rocket took off they reached space. They saw four nukes go off from orbit. Their positioning seemed odd. One seemed to have hit lower California, maybe near San Francisco, another hit near Canada, maybe Greenland or Iceland. One hit a distance from the American East Coast. It likely didn't reach its intended target, either Washington D.C. or New York. Another explosion seemed to hit somewhere in Africa. Homer looked out the ship's window. The other ship was in view also but not close enough to see anyone inside. Homer saw more explosions and was filled with sadness. One seemed to have hit the East Coast successfully. Either New York or D.C. no longer stood. Homer saw Greenland or Iceland or wherever, but it seemed to be just a lingering blast from before. Another blast went off somewhere in Europe. Homer guessed either Germany or Russia, possibly the latter. A bomb went off in what seemed to be the English Channel between France and Britain. One bomb seemed to hit North Africa, possibly Morocco, and another hit Italy[15].
Homer looked away. He saw Ross Perot, , Spike Lee, Dan Quayle, Courtney Love, Tonya Harding, Al Sharpton. Tom Arnold walked out of the rest room. Homer noticed Pauly Shore was behind him. Someone blew a party horn. Homer turned and saw Rosie O'Donnell[16].
"Hey! Turn those frowns around. C'mon everybody sing along!"
She then began singing Clang clang clang went the trolley. Every once in awhile she slingshot a ball at the passengers as they sang. It hit Homer in the eye once.
Homer couldn't wait to get to Mars. He'd later learn some rich bastards got their own trip together.
"How long until we reach Mars."
Bart looked at the brochure.
" 7 Months. "
"D'oh!"
And with that the Simpsons left Earth behind.
_
To be Continued...
Eventually...
Ok. So to be clear this is not "The End". I'm not ending the series here. I intend to reach the present day no matter how long it takes, even if that goal post keeps moving. No. This is more like a while back when I offered a "Potential End" at the moment many believe the series stopped being good. Here's the thing though. I felt if the option existed, the Simpsons would leave Earth. This Earth experienced literal Hell when the rapture happened and everything was undone in 2006, but they still remember that. Now Y2K occurred. People wouldn't feel safe anymore having to go through two apocalypses. After 2006 though, it's likely people would start to return as its clear the apocalypse isn't happening again. They'd feel safer. It ironically would mean the Simpsons Movie would be about them returning to Earth. Now to be clear though it may be awhile as the Simpsons leaving Earth undoes entire seasons which will now never happen. I was expecting this but not to such an extent. Still It felt fitting to me. From a story perspective. I don't mind the workload and I swear I'm not being lazy by skipping 7 years, heck depending on how things go they might come back sooner than that.
This may not be an Anime, but I'm doing a time skip.
In the meantime, Family Guy: Real Time and South Park: Real Time are going to cover things on Earth. South Park is pretty remote and has Jesus but Quahog in one episode of that show also got devastated by Y2K, and that episode introduced the giant Chicken Fights. I couldn't decanonize it given how iconic that it to the show. Plus it would give the Simpsons and Family Guy an interesting difference. Family Guy would be Post Apocalyptic.
Also this I realized this ending is similar to the finale of the Comic League of Extraordinary Gentlemen(Heroes ditch Earth during an apocalypse)...oh well.
There's something weirdly fitting about the Simpsons having a finale at the end of the 90's. Even if it will go on.
Notes
[1] A movie seen in Beyond Blunderdome.The Distinguished Gentlemanis a very look remake of Goes to Washingtonfrom 1992.
[2] Stan Marsh's room in South Park commonly has a poster forThe Street Warrior, clearly intended to beThe Road Warrior.
[3] A Trailer for this film is seen in the Family Guy Episode "North by North Quahog." And the episode's plot is about preventing its release. Having behind the scenes knowledge Bart would know about it regardless.
[4] The Episode has the Simpsons see Robert Downey Jr in a shootout with the police. They think its a movie until they realize there are no cameras. Downey was repeatedly in trouble with the law at the time. I chose not to kill him off as I feel its a cliche at this point to kill him in the 90's.Kentucky Fried PoliticsandA Hippie in the House of Mouseboth did it.
[5] The episode has a ride where the two declare this. The 90's wasn't really good with LGBT characters. They tended to be very obvious about it.
[6] Bart's Rampage in this episode was based on an incident in 1995. The OTL suspect was shot by police when he refused to surrender after he crashed the Tank.
[7] See the Binging with Babish recipehttps/watch?v=M73XCOzZAU0 =13s
[8] This version of Maude's Death may seem controversial. Her series death was very over the top and kind of ridiculous, therefore being unlikely. This version means Flanders believes he is responsible when Homer is. This actually came about because of how Werewolves are usually depicted to work. Flanders appears to really be dead when the Simpsons hit him in the original Halloween episode for some time. Here he instead shrugged off being hit, but naturally he'd endanger his family when he first transforms, putting Maude in the cross hairs.
[9] I originally did consider giving the main Bart and Lisa abilities but decided against it. As such this is an alternate universe where they did. I mapped out how the series would be different but the short version is most threats like Burns and Sideshow Bob decide not to deal with Superheroes while others like Scorpio and the Rigellians would be easier to be dealt with. Other things would be minor such as Lisa likely not being a vegetarian as more protein would be required if there is more strength, though her transformation occurred before the episode she became a vegetarian. I did look into how their powers could work a bit more realistically.
[10] Since Across the Spider-Verse came out, though I planned this before the film's release, I can't help but imagine Frank Grimes becoming a multiversal threat akin to the spot with a rivalry with Homer Simpson kicked off by "The Donut Effect".
[11] Now I personally can separate works from the creators, though I get if some people can't. Rick and Morty was confirmed by that one Couch Gag intro to be part of the same Multiverse so they are in there. They just usually don't do anything to be noticed. Also Gravity Falls is also canon here not just through Rick and Morty but Bill Cypher appearing. Neither show has happened yet however. Kicking off around 2012-2013 in universe.
[12] The show has "The Poke of Zorro" which is intentionally inconsistent. Here it's a parody of the 1998 film with Banderas and Hopkins still appearing. The Crossovers are changed up. It borrows from the comic "Zorro vs Dracula" from 1993, which doesn't exist here.
[13] Biker gangs like the Hell's Angels, which the Hell's Satans seem to be based on, are stereotyped as being violent thugs, but in real life seem to be a lot more reserved. Organized Crime for example isn't likely to trash your house, but just just threaten you, letting you off with a warning.
[14] The original Episode plot was triggered by Bart injuring himself and needing a ramp for a wheelchair at school but the sliding timescale prevents that. The toy "Funzo" was also named by Lisa, who would not be in a position to name it here...hence the name isn't even said."
[15] Nuke placements are based on a shot from space in the episode "Life's a Glitch then You Die." where the mushroom clouds are seen landing.
[16] The celebrities on the two rocketships is based on those in the episode, though in that episode it was heading to the sun on a suicide mission. I personally wouldn't put Spike Lee. in there. Heck I'd give him Ron Howard's spot on the other ship. Though I'd save Stephen Spielberg if I had to choose one director.