Chapter 18: Lightening Her Burden

Upon returning to the house in the early hours of Monday, Alice met me on the porch, letting me know, I got an almost clear vision of Bella in Jamerica's body. I suspect that she made a firm decision.

She showed it to me. It was wonky, like a TV slightly out of tune to the station. Nevertheless, each image or few seconds of the moving pictures were similar in that she was human. Oddly none of them showed Bella's body, as if the future only consisted of options regarding Jamerica's body. The possibility that Bella might be stuck until death in a body and thus life she hadn't been born into unsettled me. What kind of decision could create those results? Was it one decision or a collection of decisions?

"Any other options?" I asked her, almost pleading.

None that I can see.

Defeated, I felt lost at sea.

She needs someone. In each one she looks lost.

The irony of her using the same language that I had did not escape me. Alice narrated each scene that had come to her, detailing the feelings she believed were being expressed. One of the most unclear ones was further in the future, and had me in it.

"How?" I blurted out astonished.

She needs a friend.

Her words seemed straightforward and easy when she said it so matter of factly, yet there was the slightest implication that she was hypothesizing. What her words rejected was our family's rule of becoming no more than acquaintances with local humans.

There was something in her tone, which suggested something she was hoping for but not speaking. Annoyingly, I couldn't discern what.

In my earlier years, as well as in Esme's, we had befriended humans and then stayed in touch via correspondence. Not only was technology making that more difficult, the pain of losing a friend made us more hesitant. Not to mention that being friends with a human at all was dangerous to my family and perhaps more so to the human. Then, there were the human social rules that would put unwanted attention on both Bella and I if we were to be seen together. I saw lots of disadvantages and few advantages of following Alice's edict.

Alice clearly had an agenda in pushing me towards her, and I suspected there was more to it that she wanting her visions fixed.

Before I could rebut, she added, This is different. She's Quiluete. She is a part of the supernatural world. Yes, you would have to conceal yourself from other humans, but not her. You could be her friend as long as she wants. And then wistfully before she could hide them she added, And maybe she would be turned.

"Absolutely not," I rebutted angrily.

It's only a passing thought, she assured me, and then added, she seems nice. It would be lovely to have another sister. As if she needed to refute my thoughts before I could voice them, she insisted, don't worry brother; a wish is only that.

My initial reaction was to go against her recommendation.

Please think about it. She's in a strange situation that is supernatural in context. She knows our secrets from her own family. We have committed no crime. I think she needs the kind of friendship you can offer her.

"Fine, I'll think about it," I gritted out, agreeing really only to ensure she wouldn't pester me about it.

Yet, the appeal of friendship wouldn't leave my mind.

After showering, I found my clothes picked out for me with fresh bloomers in the pocket. Trying to not be upset at Alice, as she was just helping, I got dressed, choosing to put the item of clothing tucked tightly under my pants, making it harder for Emmett to get at it.

We arrived to school at our usual time, and prepared ourselves. Bella's body had already left the parking lot and was keeping her place in the junior social ladder. Finding Bella's mental voice was not difficult per say, but she seemed to be in some distress with her eyes closed, thus determining her location via my gift impossible. Deciding to find the scent trail and then follow the body she was inhabiting, Alice's vision of that decision allowed me to see her folded onto herself in the loud rust bucket. Rosalie was yelling at me in my head to leave the girl alone, but I ignored her, choosing to trust that Alice was looking out for me.

Knocking extremely gently on the glass, I inadvertently startled her. She looked at me and immediately checked the colour of my eyes. Verifying they were gold, she indicated that she was coming out. My eye colour was something she had commented on during our one Biology class when we conversed. Was it possible that she had associated Black with danger and Gold with safety? Like her associating me with an angel, her conclusions were prosperous, but I couldn't fault her logic.

My feet followed her to class, and although my ears picked up her words, they did not register. Arriving at class, I was marked tardy. The teacher seemed pleased at this, but it mattered little to me. Clandestinely, I texted Carlisle what had happened and my hypothesis of Bella's conclusion, asking him of his opinion. He agreed that it would be a reasonable deduction for a human to make, although noticing such detail was rare, and her trust in her own senses, instead of writing it off, even rarer still.

She must be a special person, seemed to be his conclusion.

Although probably correct, Carlisle's message seemed to have a hidden message in the same way Alice's suggestion had. Eventually I would figure out what they were hinting at.

Bella was focused on taking detailed notes of the teachers, so thought little more about what had been bothering her. It was annoying to me only because it didn't give me the information I sought.

Reviewing over what I had picked up from her thoughts when she was in distress, it seemed that she was worried about helping out the White family, while being able to keep up with the eleventh grade work when not in the class to hear the material. Her dedication to her work at school and her care for this family that wasn't even technically hers impressed me greatly. I physically attended all my morning classes and even lunch, but my mind was not present. It was only in Biology that it truly hit me that although Bella was a dedicated student, spending all of her physical and mental energy to give her body snatcher the information necessary to complete the classes she was attending, the opposite was not true. Rather, the soul who sat next to me was far more interested in keeping Mike's attention and her social status. Bella's writing had been untidy prior to the body swap, but it seemed to be made worse by the present soul inhabiting it. I was incised by the injustice of it, and felt the need to defend Bella. Caught off guard to my reaction, I immediately stopped myself from taking any action.

These feelings were foreign. Not liking experiencing something new, I spent the rest of the day going through the motions once more. It was only after a run and catching a deer on the way back that my care of Bella was apparent. Certainly anything close to friendship was a terrible idea, no matter Alice's ideas, but perhaps I could find some way to lighten her burden, even if I did so outside of her awareness. Coming home, I put on music and tried to figure out how to do that in a way that also kept the family safe.