Chapter 1:
After all these years, Eugene Krabs has returned to Bikini Bottom. "Good to be home!" He only has one dream… to make money!
Krabs: After seven years of life traveling the ocean
It is time to bid the other seas farewell
And the city I've pinned seven years of hopes on
Lies just over the horizon, I can hear the harbour bell
Land, ahoy
Got a tattered overcoat and battered suitcase
But I don't got boots for me feet
Gotta drag myself up by my one good bootlace
Gotta work my non-existant socks off if I want to make ends meet
I've poured everything I've got into my lunchmeat
Now, it's time to show the world my recipes
I've got twelve gold doubloons you can see
And pantsful of dreams
There's a famous restaurant on every street here
There's Brandino's and the Bar Parisienne (restaurant map, sir?)
(Thank you)
Got a little map to tell me where to eat here
Had a dozen gold doubloons, now I'm somehow down to ten
Want the finest produce? This is where they stock it (that's three doubloons, mate)
Though, the prices are suspiciously extreme (break my pumpkin, you pay for it)
I've got five, six, seven
Six gold doubloons in my pocket
And pantsful of dreams
At last, the Fast food Fiesta
I knew that we'd see it one day
It's everything you said, Mama
And oh, so much more
Each way that you turn, another restaurant and more
Here's my destiny, I just need to unlock it
Will I crash and burn or go up like a rocket?
The formula is in my pocket
In my pantsful of dreams
In this city, anyone can be successful
If they've talent and work hard, or so they say
But they didn't mention it would be so stressful
Just to make a dozen gold doubloons last more than a day
I've got one gold doubloon in my pocket
And pantsful of dreams!
A worm starts bothering Eugene. "Ya mind, I'm sulkin' here!"
"Get away from him," says a shark, "he's usually like that with mailmen!"
"I did steal, these pants from one," says Eugene, "you know where I can find a place to stay?"
"As a matter of fact…"
...
"Welcome to Mrs. Octopus'," says Sharky.
"So, you need a place to stay," asks Mrs. Octopus, "well, sure, just sign this contract!"
"Don't forget to read the fine print," says a young fish.
"Quiet, Nugget," says Mrs. Octopus.
"It's okay," says Eugene, "I never learned to read, anyway!"
...
The next day, Eugene introduces his sandwiches. "Come and try my… well, I haven't named them yet, but if you have money, you'll love them!"
Three people see. "Excuse me!"
"Blow me down," says Eugene, "Mr. Weiner! Pizza Pete! And Señor Taco! It's such an honor…"
"We are the biggest fast food rivals and if we agree you can't serve your sandwiches here, that says something," says Mr. Weiner.
"But try them," says Eugene.
"What do you use to make them," asks Mr. Weiner.
"Oh, uh… it's a secret, actually…"
"Then who knows what could be in them," asks Mr. Weiner, "could be illegal things… like Tartar Sauce!" Hearing that, everyone decided to leave him.
...
Eugene returns to Mrs. Octopus'. "So, you couldn't make any money, huh?"
"I didn't think those words could form a sentence," says Eugene.
"You know what that means," asks Mrs. Octopus.
"That… I didn't know that was a sentence," asks Eugene.
"I'll show you!" She pulls a rope and Eugene falls down it.
...
Eugene lands. "What is this," asks Eugene.
"I'll tell you what. My name is Marcus Shrimp and this is what happens if you can't pay!"
Shrimp: First, you pick up the apparel
Then you stick it in the barrel
Scrub Scrub
Workers: Then you take it to the mangle
And you turn the giant handle
Scrub Scrub
Then it's hung up really high
Until it's nearly dry
Scrub Scrub
But when we sing this song
The day don't seem so long
Scrub Scrub
Gotta press out all the creases
From the dresses and chemises
Rub Rub
Gotta fold 'em like they told us
Or they'll scold us and withhold our
Grub Grub
When I look up at the sky
It makes me want to cry
Blub Blub
But rules must be obeyed
And debts must be repaid
Scrub Scrub
When into our beds we creep
All we can do while we're asleep is
Scrub Scrub
But we've got to get some rest
Because tomorrow, well you guessed it
Scrub Scrub
We all signed the dotted line
So we've gotta do our time
Scrub Scrub
Mrs. Octopus and Sharky: And if you don't agree,
See Clause 5 Section 7a
Paragraph 22 Part d which says...
Workers: Scrub Scrub!
"Forcing us to work if we can't pay," says Eugene, "makes sense, but I still don't like this!"