Chapter 1: Nothing to me

Effie stood behind the counter at the Boardwalk Arcade. Usually undesirables pressed the buttons on the machines as if their lives depended on it, which it probably did. Any money for a fix is a win in Santa Carla. But today was quiet. The machines flashed and the musty smell that one usually notices in arcades and bowling alleys filled Effie's nostrils.

It had been almost a year since she had moved to Santa Carla, the winter had been long and dark. The months seemed to blur into one and Effie couldn't even remember the last time she smiled. Her days were filled with cleaning and emptying machines and handling the misfits and drunkards that came in to gamble and cause trouble. But at least she was able to make some form of living for herself. She spoke to Lottie often on the phone and ate lunch with Sam at the diner almost every day during their lunch break, but other than that, nothing was moving her life forward. She was living paycheck to paycheck and forcing herself to sleep long hours just to her life would pass by quicker.

Sam had told her she was depressed when they were in the diner one day.

"You're definitely depressed," he informed her.

"Sorry, Oprah. Didn't know you were such an expert." Effie said in her classic sarcastic tone.

"The signs are all there, oversleeping, not going out and socialising, not finding humour in anything anymore. Your face says it all anyway," Sam informed her again,

"Thank you, Sam. You're such a breath of fresh air." Effie said dimly.

Effie shook her head in silence as she stood alone behind the counter. The radio was on pretty loud and the song was haunting, it was the one that reminded her of Dwayne.

Lying and waiting

A man in the dark in a picture frame

So mystic and soulful

Effie closed her eyes as she took in the words of the song imagining the night she sat alone in The Sea Rose and the moment she realised Dwayne wasn't showing up. And when she sat and wept on the beach.

The feeling has gone only you and I

It means nothing to me

This means nothing to me

Oh, Vienna

Her trance was interrupted by a snotty preteen kid.

"Hey, are you fucking meditating or some shit? I said I want my goddamn change, lady. Cough up or i'll kick the machines down,"

Effie snapped her eyes open and stared at the boy, he was fat and ginger with a face full of freckles. Unfortunately, it was always the insecure kids that tried to act tough. She felt bad for having to teach him some humility because deep down he probably wasn't a bad kid. But today was one of those days.

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to with your face of dot to dots? Let me see if I can find a pen to solve the riddle and find out why you're such a little bastard."

The boys eyes widened in humiliation and shock.

"You can't do shit to me unless you want to get fired,"

"You getting me fired would be doing me a favour so go ahead,"

Effie said crossing her arms. The kid hesitated and huffed as he walked out of the store, attempting to kick a machine on the way but almost tripping over instead. He turned to look if Effie noticed, which she did, then backed out of the store with his middle finger in the air to save face.

Effie let out a long sigh and got out the daily newspaper from underneath the counter and looked at apartments. She had been putting circles around cheap one bedrooms in the area so she could get some space of her own. Things were getting too much at home, Tracey would have Lucy over all the time in her sister's absence and they would harp on at Effie about this depression business and getting help. Then Sam would come over and bring her discount coupons for therapy sessions, which apparently were popular in Santa Carla; which wasn't a surprise when you consider the bleak nature of the place. And on top of that, Sam told Lottie everything so she ended up randomly ringing Effie's work phone to check up on her outside of their allocated thrice weekly calls.

Right on cue the doorbell went and Sam walked in. Effie check her watch, 12:30pm. Time for the diner.

"How are we today,"

Sam chimed as he walked up to the counter, then his face dropped when he realised Effie was looking at apartments.

"Still planning on moving out alone?" Sam sighed as he sat on the counter as Effie folded the paper up in a huff, him sticking his nose in was starting to grate at her.

"I'm going to be 20 in a few months, Sam. I think I can handle a small apartment,"

Effie snapped as she went into the back room to grab her bag. When she reemerged Sam had a thoughtful look on his face which worried her.

"I've had an idea," He announced as Effie locked up the arcade.

"Fantastic," she said with fake enthusiasm.

"There's a new club in town, it looks good. We should go there tonight,"

Sam said as he jogged alongside Effie trying to keep up with her brisk walk. He looked at her face for a reaction but she gave nothing away.

"I know you did not just suggest that we go partying together," She said bluntly as she kept up the pace.

" I know you haven't been out in a while but we need to have some fun. I'll make you a deal, if you come tonight, I'll stop giving you those coupons."

Effie grinded to a halt as she looked at Sam and squinted her eyes. He stood with his hands in prayer hoping she would agree.

"And on top of that you get off my back about the apartment,"

"Deal," Sam chirped as they continued walking, he felt victorious.

That night Effie stood outside her house waiting for Sam to meet her so they could walk to this so-called amazing new club. Tracey nearly threw a party when Effie said she was going out on the town with him. Sam eventually turned up wearing the brightest Huwaiian shirt she had ever seen him in to date and suddenly felt underdressed in her typical doc martens and ripped jeans. Effie shook her head.

"You can't be serious," she blurted as they started walking down the dirt path.

"There's no turning back now. You look, well, usual. But it's not about how we look, it's about the experience,"

Sam smiled slyly. He did it on purpose hoping it would bring Effie's old humour out of her shell. She always used to tease him and they would have a laugh but lately it was just comments and remarks.

"I guess," She said dreamily, the lights were on but no one was home.

Sam often wondered what Effie was always thinking about. She walked around with a sad, deep look on her face like she was trying to find the solution to world peace. He could take a good guess that she was dwelling on the events of the previous summer, nothing had been the same for them since then.

"So, this place is a bit techno. I know it's not your thing but it could be funny," Sam joked as he tried to save the conversation but Effie just grunted and carried on walking.

When they got to the club, Sam could tell Effie was already unimpressed but it was somewhat funny.

"Sound Factory...that's what the best club in town is called? Sound Factory!"

Effie burst out in disbelief, she spurted out some laughter and it gave Sam hope that maybe the night would be productive after all. They made their way into the club and even Effie had to admit the inside was pretty impressive. Neon lights hung at different lengths on the ceiling and the dancefloor light up and smoke machines covered the room as Effie coughed a little bit when she walked into the big spacious room. Booths surrounded outside of the floor and there was a big S shaped bar at the far end. Blue Monday by New Order blasted out as a dance floor full of people were already drunk.

"I need a very strong vodka and coke!" Effie shouted over the music.

Sam went to the bar as she found a booth tucked away in a corner to sit in. Effie observed all the people kissing, dancing and having fun and wondered where she went wrong. She often sat up at night blaming herself for what happened with her and Dwayne, maybe she hurt him when she said she wanted to take things slow and that she wasn't that dead girl. Dwayne's past life philosophy clearly meant a lot to him and Effie felt like she had thrown it in his face with what she said.

"One very strong vodka and coke for you and a rum for me,"

Sam shouted as he danced his way into the booth to sit facing Effie. She snatched the glass from Sam and downed it straight away.

"Steady on, we've only just got here," Sam gasped

"Well are we doing this or not, you dragged me out here so I need to find a way through it somehow,"

A woman with a tray of shots came walking past and Effie ordered 4 shots of sambuca.

"If you say so, cheers to that," Sam said as he clinked glasses with Effie and took a shot.

After some time they both ended up on the dance floor, Effie felt well and truly pissed. In her drunken state she thought that maybe a night out wasn't such a bad idea. Sam was attempting to do the robot which Effie couldn't wait to tell Lottie about. Smoke continued to fill the room and Effie decided to go to the toilets. After searching through the crowd she found the sign behind the bar. As she looked in the mirror of the toilets a strange feeling came over her and so she went to find Sam to tell him she was ready to call it a night.

Effie pushed her way out of the toilets and made her way back to the dancefloor and then froze as her bloodshot eyes became fixed to the other side of the room.

"Dwayne?" She whispered to herself in disbelief.

Effie ran past the dance floor and pushed her way through the crowd, to the annoyance of the other clubbers. But it was all a futile effort when she reached the other end of the room and could no longer see Dwayne, she looked around frantically and then rushed outside gasping at the fresh air.

She could feel herself have a panic attack at the idea. Leaning against a wall with a hand propping her up, Effie took some deep breaths and ended up throwing up - she didn't know if it was the nerves or the alcohol. Sam came rushing out after her and put a hand on her back as she was still doubled over.

"Might be time to get you home," he said with a small smile, he was at least glad they had fun whilst they could; even if it was illegal for them to be drinking.

Sam put Effie's arm around his shoulder and helped her back to her house. He let himself in through the back door, as he did in the good old days when Lottie was still there, and managed to see Effie get up the stairs without falling down them.

"I'll see you soon Effs," He said as he watched her get to her bedroom door.

Effie just waved him off, she felt too sick to talk.

She managed to fall onto the bed and strip her jeans and boots off as she lay contemplating her life choices. She didn't know if she regretted the night or not.

Sometime in the middle of the night Effie woke up and looked at her alarm clock, 3am. She grunted as she moved her head and it made her feel motion sick, she was still drunk and on her way to a hangover. Then she heard a knock at her window. She wondered if Sam made a last minute point to check on her in the middle of the night, he worried too much, she thought.

Effie melted out of bed forcefully and hit the floor then crawled over to the curtains, she pulled them open and almost let out a scream but a hand was too quick at opening the window and putting it over her mouth to muffle the sound.

Effie's feet gave beneath her and fell back onto her bed. She was in shock looking up at the mass tower that was Dwayne.

"Elizabeth," Dwayne began in a soft tone as he reached out his hand towards her but she kicked it away with her foot.

"Don't you dare," she choked through the tears, "how dare you come here after all this time. The fucking audacity of it, I can't even believe it."

Dwayne put his hands on top of his head and started to pace the room, he didn't know how he was going to deal with Effie when he saw her, he just felt like he would know when the time was right and now he was here, he couldn't think straight.

"7 months you've left me here wondering what went wrong, 7 fucking months! Without so much as a word or an appearance from you. All those promises you made me then you leave me to be the laughing stock of a whole restaurant on my 19th birthday? You even managed to get a fucking cake for them to bring out, rub some salt into the already festering wound I had. All this talk about being fucking destined for each other and knowing each other for hundreds of years, what bollocks!"

Effie shout-whispered, she couldn't raise her voice too much for fear of her mom waking up and barging in on the scene that was taking place. Dwayne leaned against the wall, he was glad Effie was keeping her voice down, it forced a level of control over the situation, which is why Dwayne waited until she was home and left the Sound Factory before she could accost him.

"I'm sorry, truly. But there was a reason I didn't come that night and it wasn't to humiliate you,"

Effie paused. She didn't consider that there was a good reason that Dwayne didn't turn up. She always thought it was because she had ruined the relationship or that Sam was right and Dwayne was bad news.

"Well it better be a fucking good reason. But that doesn't justify your absence the last 7 months. Did you skip town to leave me behind like everyone else as well?"

"It was a family emergency, so yeah I did leave town for a while, I never had your phone number"

Dwayne said as convincingly as he looked Effie in her tired and swollen eyes, some tears had dried beneath them. He noticed how her hair was shorter than the last time he saw her and it was no longer dyed black but back to its original blonde.

"Firstly, you could have looked me up for my number in the phone book, secondly, what was so wrong with your family? Must have been serious for you to take a sabbatical."

Dwayne couldn't tell if Effie was convinced or not.

"My uncle had cancer, it was a long recovery process. I'm sorry I didn't call, you're right I could have looked it up but I didn't think to,"

"Didn't think to!?" Effie shout whispered again as she stood up from the bed.

Dwayne was mildly relieved that she appeared to accept his story about this made up uncle so having an argument over phone calls seemed a small price to pay. He would feel guilty but Effie didn't know that he was protecting her. It was for the best that for now she believed in his made up family.

"It's nice to know I mean so much to you," Effie continued, "all that time you spent convincing me that you loved me and you couldn't be bothered to find my number. You're unbelievable, I want you to leave,"

Effie said shakily as she pointed back to the window. Apart of her wanted to hug Dwayne and never let him go again because in spite of her anger she had missed him, even more since her friends and sister had left. Her emotions conflicted between anger and passion since he had left but she could hold a grudge and the other side of her could never simply forget how he never bothered to reach out to her.

Dwayne didn't move.

"I said I want you to leave, what's wrong with you?"

"What kind of person would I be if I just walked out, we have things to discuss."

Dwayne said as he took a few steps towards Effie.

"What could there be left to say. You abandoned me."

Effie shouted as she tried to push Dwayne away from her. He never budged, he was built like a brick house. Effie was shocked that he didn't even stumble. Then she listened out for if her mom would be woken up but luckily she was safe. Dwayne took the opportunity to grab Effie's hands, for a second she felt a sense of familiarity as he always used to grab her hands in a passion but she tried not to let it consume her.

"I want us to pick up from where we left off. Let me make it up to you, I won't disappear again. I promise."

Effie couldn't resist the urge to keep Dwayne holding onto her hand. It was the first time she felt wanted since he had left, sometimes at night when she felt isolated she would hold her own hand and pretend it was someone else's, anyone else's, just so she could kid herself into thinking she was a little less alone for one night.

"Dwayne...I," Effie pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, "I don't know what to do. I've dreamed of you coming back and saying all this but how can I just forgive you on the spot? My life has been hell, look how bad things are."

Effie let go of his hand and reached under her bed and pulled out a dusty box. She emptied the contents onto the floor and paper went flying everywhere. Dwayne picked some up.

"Discount coupons for therapy sessions," Effie said matter of factly, "Sam has been giving me these for months, he thinks I need help. You don't realise how hard things have been for me, probably worse than ever,"

Dwayne felt a pang of guilt inside himself. He knew she had suffered terribly because of the night terrors he had given her and that she became obsessive over solving the problem between Michael and Sam. So he couldn't imagine how it could get worse for her.

"And you said there was nothing left to say. You should look after yourself, I can help you,"

Dwayne said softly as he reached out to hug her.

"No, fuck you, you don't get to just wonder back into my life and tell me how to live it."

Effie said in disgust as she backed away from Dwanye. He took a step forward and ended up kicking something under the bed that made a loud clunk. Effie's face fell.

"What the hell do you have under there a bong collection?"

Dwayne laughed as he lifted up the cover to look under the bed. Effie covered her face in embarrassment as she turned bright red, Dwayne's eyes snapped up to Effie as she flopped onto the bed, she had been exposed. Dwayne pulled out another box from under the bed but this time it was filled with empty liquor bottles tinkling together as he sifted through them.

"What the fuck, Elizabeth. How long have you been drinking like this?"

Dwayne said with shock in his voice, he looked disgusted in her and Effie felt her heart sink, he had never looked at her that way before. Effie rolled her eyes, she didn't see the point in covering up the truth anymore.

"A few months. At first it was just every now and then to loosen up after everyone left. But as I started to feel more lonely I just preferred the feeling of it instead of being empty on the inside all the time. It's not as bad as it looks, I only drink a couple of nights a week when I'm on my own; just to help me wind down."

Effie said quietly, she looked up at Dwayne under her eyelashes and found she was scared to know his reaction. He looked at her with his arms folded across his chest, like the most disappointed of parents.

"You're dependent on alcohol. There must be dozens of bottles in here, all vodka. Hiding this many empty bottles means there's a serious issue, Elizabeth. Maybe your little friend was right, you need some help."

Effie was horrified at being the person who has to sit in AA meetings and therapy to talk about how she feels, only to be told she needed to do breathing exercises.

"I can stop when I want. I just haven't had a reason to,"

Effie scoffed as she folded her arms in defence.

"Let me be the reason. Just give us another chance and I can help you, there's no need for you to be alone anymore."

Dwayne said with care as he opened his arms to her, he decided he would see if Effie wanted to come to him this time. Maybe reverse psychology would work. But he knew on the inside Effie did want to give in to him because there was something in her that needed him.

Effie gave in to her anger and went to hug Dwayne. It felt good to be held.

"I'm still so pissed with you and I haven't forgiven you at all. But I still want you,"

Dwayne held his hand beneath Effie's chin and kissed her. Soon it turned more passionate than they intended and they ended up on the bed until Effie at some point fell asleep with Dwayne's arm around her.

The next morning Effie woke up with her hair stuck to her face and drool down her chin, she looked around for Dwayne and was relieved he managed to leave in the night. Luckily she wasn't at work down at the arcade that day because she had slept in until 11am. Her mom would be at work thankfully and didn't need to see her in this state as the hangover kicked in. She rolled over and felt something crumple beneath her arm, a note.

Elizabeth,

I didn't want to wake you.

I'm pleased you're giving us another chance.

I promise I'll look after you from now on.

D

Effie let a smile creep onto her face, she already felt better. But there was still something niggling inside her that she gave in too easily, but what was the point in cutting her nose off to spite her face? Dwayne came back to her and she would feel more miserable if she forced him away than she did giving into him and staying.

Effie got dressed and made her way downstairs to the coffee machine and settled herself down until she was distubed by the back door bursting open.

"Sam," she said bitterly underneath her breath, she didn't know if she was in the mood for his energy today.

Sam ran into the living room with sweat pouring down his face and hyperventilating. He plomped himself down onto the couch next to Effie and she recurled away from him in mild distaste for his presence. She had told Sam to break the habit of coming to the back door unannounced once Lottie had moved to New Haven but it seemed to go in through one ear and out the other, she blamed her mom for being overly welcoming.

"What do you want, Emmerson." she huffed.

Sam looked up at Effie as if he had just witnessed a murder. She became worried, maybe he had seen Dwayne or he had discovered her alcohol abuse. It could be anything and everything Effie had hidden from Sam came flooding into her mind as she anticipated his response.

"You need to come with me, now, no questions or protests, trust me!"

Sam said as he grabbed Effie by the arm and pulled her out of her house and up the dirt track to his place. It all happened so quickly that Effie was still juggling her coffee cup in one hand and ran with Sam pulling her by the other hand.

They reached his house and Sam lead her through the hall and to the door of the basement.

"What the fuck is going on, have you finally decided to get rid of me,"

Effie jested as she sipped her coffee. Sam rolled his eyes and opened the door to the basement and lead the way down, Effie followed reluctantly.

The air was heavy and musty as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Effie started coughing on the dust particles. Sam lead her around the corner of the stairs.

As soon as Effie turned the corner she froze to the spot and her coffee mug dropped to the floor and shattered into tiny pieces.

"W-what are you doing here,"

She stuttered.