It was just a few minutes past noon, and Percy Weasley was taking his lunch in the Atrium next to the Fountain of Magical Brethren. There was a rumor that Dolores Umbridge was returning to the Ministry of Magic around midday. He wasn't the only one, it seemed that today was the day that quite a bit of the Ministry had chosen to have their lunch break in the Atrium. Conjuring extra tables and chairs not something any Ministry worker worth their salt was going to admit not being unable to do so. Not that Percy didn't know a few that couldn't. Some wizards hadn't been hired on merit, and it showed.
Dolores Umbridge was known for her use of pink in her robes, usually impeccably styled and cleaned. It seemed that the ones she'd chosen to wear today had some stains that Percy wouldn't have been caught dead wearing. He knew that the witch had just been released from Saint Mungo's, having been there since a few weeks before. So it was quite probable that those were the clothes she'd been admitted in, and she hadn't returned to where ever she lived to change. If the rumors were true, she'd been caught trespassing by the centaurs and been dragged through the Dark Forrest on Hogwarts grounds. Those stains led credence to those rumors.
She was also wearing a particular pink knit flowers hat had been described to Percy by Fred. He was tempted to draw his wand and set the activation arc that he'd been told about, when Penny, his newly appointed fellow Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic leaned over and said, "Looks like her expectations that she was going to deal with kittens turned into a mauling from a jungle cat."
Percy's eyebrow went up. "Indeed," he said, imitating a character that he'd seen on Penny's television the night before. He had long enjoyed time with Penny in her muggle apartment, learning what his father had gotten wrong. When the position opened up, he'd put Penny's application on top and made notes against a few from his year that had applied that hadn't been quite well behaved when they were Head Students. It was something he was expected to do after all, and really, they didn't think he wouldn't have a long memory about how they'd treated his then girl friend at Hogwarts? "Do you think anyone has told the Senior Undersecretary what's going on in the Minister's Office?"
"I'm not sure if she read the Prophet this morning about the Ministry being in Caretaker status," Penny said. The way her smile reached her eyes was something he found quite endearing. It was why he'd spent the Wednesday night talking to her father. "It kind of looks like she bounced off some wards this morning. Hogwarts perhaps? There isn't anything that would block her from the Ministry at the moment."
"I wonder if she knows who took over her job at Hogwarts?" Percy said, watching Umbridge being rather casually diverted left and right as she tried to avoid those who were turning their back on her. It wasn't considered proper to split a group that caught your attention and pointedly turned their backs on you.
"My guess is no," Penny replied, consuming the last of her tart. Percy had already finished his. Penny's tart was better than his Mum's, as he had told her where it couldn't get back to his mum. "Looks like she's going past us." His talk with Harry Potter may ignited his inner Gryffindor, as evidenced by the discreet engagement ring on Penny's finger, but there were limits to his bravery. There was no way he was going to tell his Mum that anyone's tart was better than hers.
"She's in our office, we can't turn our backs," Percy noted, then smirked. "I think it's time to give her the good news." It didn't take long at all for Umbridge to reach their table, by which time the remains of their lunch had been vanished. He let his face drop into a smile more often used when speaking to Fred and George after a prank that he knew was theirs and he had plans to respond to. "Madam Umbridge, it is quite agreeable to see you back at the Ministry after your time at Hogwarts. May I hope that your presence today is the start of a resumption of regular business in the Minister's Office?"
"If I can't keep my duties at Hogwarts, Mister Weatherbee," Umbridge replied. "And this young witch with you is?"
"Penelope Clearwater, she's a new Junior Assistant, bringing us to the statutory maximum of five, and the way things are going, we're going to need all of us," Percy said, he actually had one day until he could call himself Senior Assistant, only behind Junior Undersecretary, which there were not any currently, and Umbridge's Senior Undersecretary rank. "Penny, this is the Senior Undersecretary, Dolores Umbridge, late of Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts Fame."
"Not late, I am still that and High Inquisitor," Umbridge replied, indignantly. It was not an expression that looked good on her, but then again there wasn't an expression that looked good on her.
"You've been declared persona non grata at Hogwarts," Penny noted. Percy admired Penny's all so respectful tone. It was something he had been having trouble using lately with Umbridge. He supposed it was because of exposure to the witch. "I got the notice. It's on your desk."
"What, persona non grata?" Umbridge said, her brows furrowed in puzzlement. It was clear to Percy that the witch did not know her Latin.
"And Harry Potter is now the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor," Percy added. "My brother Ron wrote me. Apparently you got fired for causing harm to students by the castle itself, and since Harry somehow was listed as Adjunct Professor ..."
"According to Hogwarts a History if anyone takes primary teaching responsibility for any course due to failure of a Professor to teach that course for a number of students over the amount of the year with the least amount of students, the castle automatically lists them as an Adjunct Professor," Penny interrupted smoothly. "When the primary professor is fired, the Adjunct Professor with the most students in the subject is automatically made full Professor of the subject unless they refuse the position."
"I know Harry, he wouldn't even think to refuse," Percy picked back up. "As for persona non grata, you'll have to read the notice as to why the castle itself banned you. It's in Old English."
"How can the castle ban me? It's a castle," Umbridge interjected, drawing up to her full height, her hand on the table that Penny had conjured.
Penny stood up along with Percy and vanished their table. Umbridge found herself catching herself from falling without the support that the table had provided. "Enchantment by the Founders, I believe." Penny said. "It's in Hogwarts, a History of course. I can find the appropriate passage if you'd like me to."
With that Umbridge turned and hurried toward the Minister's Office. Percy and Penny followed at a much slower pace. There were a few people that were pushed aside by the onrushing Senior Undersecretary as she passed through the archway out of the atrium. At least two ended up falling, and Percy was sure he heard a couple of low level curses headed her way.
"Did I hear you right, Harry Potter is Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts?" Percy turned to face the questioner, who turned out to be Garrack Ollivander. Percy figured that he was probably in for business license renewal. "His wand told me that he would do great things, and fortunately, unlike his brother wand's master, the only terrible things he's going to have to do is supervise detention."
"Most certainly," Madam Marchbanks said from the other side. "And if there is any one who could beat the Defense Against the Dark Arts Curse. If he can defeat the Killing Curse, then that curse doesn't stand a chance. Mister Weasley, can you take this to the Minister? He asked for a summary of the NEWT and OWL scores by professors."
"I can do that," Percy said, taking the scroll. "Should I expect that it isn't good news for the Senior Undersecretary?"
"Not by a dragon's flight," Marchbanks said. "I strongly suspect that the staff of the Minister may have an opening soon. Madam Bones on her way up, I've heard."
"I think we need to hurry back to our desks, Percy," Penny said. "Thank you, Madam Marchbanks." Together they headed down the passage and past the Minister's receptionist to their desks. Percy placed the scroll in the slot that would send it to the Minister's inbox before he sat down. To his surprise a blue light appeared indicating that the Minister had taken directly off the top and begun reading it.
No sooner than they sat down then a piece of partially scorched parchment which was gradually repairing itself landed on Percy's desk. It was addressed to Umbridge and from what it said he could read:
"Þu eart forboden of āfōn tō þām stranum of Hogwarts Ceaster, æfter þæt þū wurdon funden tō hæfðe torturian þā studendas mid fæle þēawum."
There was more to it but those parts were still repairing itself. Attempting to destroy a notice like this one was futile. Not only couldn't it permanently be destroyed, as evidenced by the fact that the parchment was collecting together, but Percy was willing to bet that additional notices were on their way. Witches of the talents of the Founders of Hogwarts were not lackluster enchanters. There were notices dating back centuries of the like that Umbridge had received
Director Bones had just entered and was about to pass Percy's desk. She hadn't been seen at the Ministry for a couple of weeks, since her house had been attacked by Death Eaters. "Director, you'll need this, I think," Percy said. "If you're working on what Professor Potter reported."
"I am indeed," Director Bones said, taking the parchment and looking at it with her monocle. "Oh dear, this is quite a bit of evidence. Thank you, Mister Weasley." The Director seemed to be off a bit, and her left hand was trembling as she walked with a cane as she carefully walked towards Umbridge's office.
Umbridge's office was in a separate room, so Percy couldn't hear what was being said once the door closed behind Director Bones. Quite a number of ministry support staff were now gathering in the outer office. He could see some from almost every department or office. His own father had just arrived and engaged the receptionist, who Percy knew was a fellow mugglephile, with some sort of discussion on airplanes, judging from the motions they were making.
"Okay, Percy, you know something," Penny said. A couple higher ranked or more known to one or more of the Junior Assistants were taking their rank or connections to move to the inner office. Percy approved. "Everyone is curious as to what's happening. Out with it."
"I may have had a conversation with Professor Potter about his choices for sixth and seventh year books," Percy smiled. "And during that discussion I may have noticed certain scars known to come from certain quills in a way that did not indicate approved use. I may have also found several other students of Hogwarts with similar scars directed them to report them to the appropriate authorities before seeking certain needed treatment for involuntary contract with such quills.
"By certain quills, would you perhaps mean Black Quills?" Dirk Cresswell asked. "Determined by the Wizarding Patent Office to be an infringement on the existing Blood Quills, a highly restricted item limited to Goblin and Legal Office use?" Percy figured Dirk would know that as he was the Head and only member of the Goblin Liaison Office at present. It was an office that Fudge gave little to do, so Dirk had plenty of time to keep up on such information.
"I believe they were described as such, to me," Percy said. "Judging from timing, and the bit of tart I saw on her robes, I believe that the Director just came from Hogwarts. I may have heard that a certain new professor may have arranged for some victims of such a quill to be available as schedules were handed out. I even may have been told that classes were delayed by a good three hours this morning at Hogwarts."
"First day of classes delayed, I don't think that's happened since the Hogwarts Express Disaster of 1982," Louisa May Hamilton, an assistant from Transportation stated.
"That was just for first years, as sorting couldn't be completed," Penny said. "According to Hogwarts, a History, full delay last happened due to the Great Magic Storm of the Dark Lord Loxias in his first attempt to capture Prince Frederick in 1761. And that was three days because of the fact that the students had to be retrieved from beneath the Black Lake before the feast and sorting could happen."
"Speaking of sorting, anyone have anything on the Fawley sorting," Reginald, an assistant in the Floo Office asked. He'd been a study partner for Runes when Percy had been in his fifth year. "He's the only sacred twenty-eight this year."
"Hufflepuff with my little brother," Louisa May replied. "My little brother Detrick is fifth-year prefect this year for and is already begging for advice. For some reason he's afraid of the lone fifth-year prefect in Ravenclaw this year."
"Oh, he should be," Percy said. "According my sister, Detrick is on Luna's list. And you do not want to make Luna's list."
"Why? Looney's harmless," Louisa inquired. A glance at Penny led to her reply with a look up indicating that her former Ravenclaw housemate was not graced with a lot of common sense, something that Penny had found bit too common among the pureblood members of her house.
Percy started to laugh, and couldn't reply. He'd seen what happened when Luna Lovegood reached her limits. He'd been a victim of her and Ginny when they were ten, along with Fred and George on a more regular basis. When those two got together, you hoped that neither of them had chosen you as their target, especially since Mum couldn't believe that Ginny was behind anything wrong, and dear Luna, well how dare you accuse the grieving girl. Percy knew better, but he wasn't going to tell Mum that again.
He recalled Luna's purchases at his brother's store and some of the demonstrations they'd given her of the various products. His laughter redoubled, to the point that he nearly slid out of his chair, before getting hit by a water spout launched by Penny.
After just a moment of coughing due to the water going down the wrong way, Percy stated firmly, "Luna Lovegood is by no means harmless. She's a fifth-year who has been part of a Weasley prank war against my twin brothers which she won. If you go to Weasley Wizarding Weazes today, you'll encounter Fred behind the counter. He's partially transfigured into a bunny, assuming he hasn't found out how she did it. I doubt it. Oh, and he's also on my sister Ginny's list"
"Anyone know what house got the most first years this year?" Chester from the Improper Use of Magic Office asked. "Don't tell me it's a four way tie again like 1991 and 1992."
"It has to be Ravenclaw," Janice, an accountant in the Administrative Registration Department declared. "No way Hogwarts doesn't end up over working it's prefects. I was prefect in the year that Hufflepuff got nineteen witches and just two wizards."
Percy pulled Ginny's letter out of his desk. He was pretty sure that his sister had said something about it. He skimmed it quickly, "Gryffindor two to one over the least which was Slytherin. Pretty much evenly split between girls and boys for each house, so no Ravenclaw in 1992 or Hufflepuff your fifth year, Janice."
A patronus shot through Umbridge's door, a bloodhound. "Oh, it looks like Bonesy is calling for assistance," Chester said, before the door opened revealing a cuffed and petrified Dolores Umbridge. "I stand corrected."
"Director Bones," a young pink haired auror that Percy hadn't caught the name of said. "The Minister is confined to his office per your orders for his safety." He'd barely noticed the auror despite the pink hair.
"Good, Tonks," Bones said. "You and Kitchner, take Miss Umbridge to processing. Book her on two counts of attempted murder, forty-eight counts of causing grievous bodily harm to a minor, forty-one counts of use of a device to cause unforgivable magic, thirteen counts of creation and possession of said device, and general corruption and misuse of office. Shacklebolt will have the full specifications by now.
"Mister Weasley, you're current senior in the office following Umbridge's arrest, since the Minister has left the Deputy Minister position vacant and no one having yet ascended to . Be aware that I am about to trigger the caretaker clause."
Suddenly the whole office with all the assistants from the other departments standing around became dead quiet. Percy knew the caretaker clause in all it's forms backwards and forward. The variant that he figured was about to be triggered was a case of a Minister suspended due to implications of his involvement with corruption. He wished he hadn't seen signs of this coming.
"Right," Percy said as Director Bones entered the Minister's office. "Edwin, Grace, someone see where Roger is, Penny, it's going to be a long day and probably night for us. Janice, I'm going to need some extra staff, who can I pull them from?"
"There is some good ones to pull from my department," Janice replied. "I'll talk to my boss about sending Willis and Ross up, maybe Laurence if I can convince him. You'll want Audrey from International Cooperation, I'm sure."
"Chester, I expect the Aurors up to investigate and interview shortly," Percy said. "If you can outline the areas they will need to investigate, and make sure that the Cambridge Room is available for them. Maybe it will be enough that they'll get you that post in the Director's office."
"Right on it, Perk," Chester said. "Ian, can you conjure up some scene tape? I'm under orders not to do that type of magic at the moment."
Chester had barely started to outline the areas when the door to the Minister's Office opened. The Minister walked out, his hands cuffed behind his back, the Director's wand at his back. "Mister Weasley, the Office of the Minister is now in abeyance. Until such a time as the Wizengamont or the Queen appoints a replacement or the Minister is cleared, there is no Minister. The Queen has been notified. Should any action be asked of the Office of the Minister during this time outside of the normal every day to day actions, you may inquire of the Queen for authorization.
"At this point, you are Acting Head of the Office of the Minister, may Merlin have mercy on your Magic."
"So much for the gossip out of Hogwarts dominating the day," Percy muttered. Then taking a deep breath. "Everyone, inform your bosses. Janice, that help better arrive soon."