"Last season on Total Drama: Out latest batch of victims were dropped into our new and improved home base Pahkitew Island to duke it out for the one million dollars. The cast was... and interesting bunch to say the least." Clips played of a guy who acted like a wizard, a girl who thought she was in a fairy tale, even the most outlandish of them all... an Australian. "You'd almost think we chose them at random! Regardless, the season was action packed. Relationships " Footage of Shawn and Jasmine kissing. "Cat fights were had." Amy and Samey wrestling each other. "Tears were shed." Plenty of Dave weeping clips. "And oh yeah, the island was taken hostage and almost blown up. Guess that's the risk that comes with running a mechanical island."
Finally there was footage from the finale. "In the end it came down to Shawn and Sky in the finale, helped on and later hindered by Jasmine and Dave. When the dust settled, it was zombie believing nutcase Shawn that walked away with the cash. But with all the loose ends and bruised egos still left hanging we decided, hey, why not bring these freaks back for a rematch? Will things be just as weird and deadly as they were last time? Or can they go even MORE extreme? Tune in this season to find out, right here on TOTAL... DRAMA... PahkiTWO Island!"
A nearby Chef shook his head. "You're really going with that as the season name?"
"Sh-shut up, I thought it was clever."
Much like last time, the 14 teens were flown in via chopper, though the mood was significantly more tense. Scarlett had opted to sit in her own secluded corner of the plane. It was only fitting since everyone else was staying as far away from her as possible, many giving her uneasy stares as they awaited her next move. Ella was prancing around humming a merry tune, much to Sugar's chagrin. Jasmine and Shawn were excitedly talking, holding hands, generally looking happy while Samey stuck close to them to avoid her sister. Whenever not keeping an eye on the ginger supervillain, Sky kept casting glances down the bench at Dave. He sported what looked like a buzz cut, though in reality his hair just simply hadn't grown back much yet. Somehow he found himself flanked by Beardo and Leonard, making the same weird gibberish as they were last season. Rodney fidgeted nervously, a bored Amy having chosen to sit next to him, and Topher sat coolly by himself, taking it all in. Notably his attire was slightly different, still similar in appearance but his shirt was now grey and pants black. Finally there was Max.
"McLean! Show yourself you swine." He pushed Ella aside and stamped around the plane like he owned the joint. "I've not forgotten your little unjust ejection! One does not simply hinder evil and get away with it. Be a man and face me!"
Silence. Max tapped his foot impatiently and when it became clear nothing was going to happen he started stomping hard. "Where in the blazes is he?"
"Perhaps he's too scarred to face someone as intimidating as you," Scarlett spat sarcastically, her voice putting a few people on the defensive.
The short king was not one of them. "If you think flattery will put you in my good graces, think again! Twas your sloppy villainy that got me unfairly removed in the first place. You can keep dreaming about becoming my sidekick once more, I'll work alone this time!"
"Oh trust me, Max, I would much rather do literally anything else than have to listen your inane rambling. Had you asked me you'd likely be leaving the island in a bodycast. And that's if I was feeling generous."
Shawn leaned in to whisper at his girlfriend. "What were they thinking bringing her back? Do they WANT us to die?"
"It's on sight if we get stuck with her on our team," she agreed. "Last time was way too close for comfort. If everyone else has any sense, she'll be the first one gone."
Nearby, Leonard had stopped reading his spellboo0k to inspect Dave's yee yee ass haircut. The germaphobe was not happy to feel the eyes on him.
"What do you want, Leonard?"
"It seems you've changed classes since we last met! With a hairdo like that, am I to assume you've taken up playing a monk? Or perhaps a Fighter is more your speed? They tend to avoid having long manes."
"The only thing I am is Guy-Who-Wants-Some-Peace-and-Quiet!"
If he expected that to deliver the message he'd be quickly disappointed. Leonard just perked up more. "Ah, a homebrew class! How marvelous! Thought I can't say I'm familiar with that one, it's quite the mouthful."
Elsewhere Amy felt eyes on her and turned to glare at her sister. But the nicer twin was simply chatting up Jasmine, paying her no mind. Instead she'd fine Rodney as the culprit, grinning awkwardly when he noticed her.
"What do you want?"
"U-um..." He gulped and resisted the urge to start vomiting out nonsense. "A-are you, uh... good?" Nailed it!
She growled. "Of course I'm not good, you idiot! Do you have any idea how embarrassing what happened to me is? Letting the lesser me get me eliminated like that? Ugh, my stupid friends wouldn't shut up about it."
"O-oh, uh. Sorry?"
Sugar was getting bored so she plopped a squat near the mini-Chris, despite him not resembling the host all that much anymore with the wardrobe change.
"What's got you dressed up all fancy schmancy for?" she poked at him. "Ya look like you're going to a funeral or something."
He gave her a cool smile and chuckled. "Just thought I'd change things up a bit. My outfit last season was giving... old and busted. This time around I'm focusing on the future! Let people know I'm not hung up on being a knockoff, when I'm one of a kind!"
"We'll see about that," a familiar voice bellowed. Chris, or rather his hologram, stepped out from the cockpit and grinned at the returning victims. "Welcome back, suckers!"
Sometime later the contestants were back at the island, gathered around the genuine Chris.
"So first things first, we need to sort out the team situation. And this season I'm leaving the teams up to our outgoing finalists, schoolyard pick style! Since Shawn won he gets first choice, followed by Sky, then back to Shawn, and so on."
Shawn wasted no time taking his place next to Chris, big dopey grin on his face.
"Do I even need to ask who your first pick will be?"
"Nope. You bet I'm jumping at the opportunity to be on a team with Jasmine!"
His girlfriend smiled and joined him. "Took one pick and your team's already stacked!"
Sky frowned as she surveyed the group. Dave was trying to make himself discreet to avoid eye contact. Sugar gave her an annoyed glare, Sammy was shaking her head to indicate she wanted to be on the other team.
*** Confessional: Sky ***
"Somehow this is only just now hitting me, but... I didn't really make any friends last time, did I?"
*** Selecting ***
Finally her gaze settled on someone who looked eager to be picked AND might prove actually useful in challenges. "Let's go with Rodney."
The farm boy was so flummoxed he couldn't form proper sentences, simply shuffling up next to his team captain and blushing.
Shawn exchanged a thumbs up with the Aussie. "Next we'll take Sammy!"
She couldn't seem to get away from her sister fast enough. Though Chris was snickering.
"Whaaaat, I don't know of any contestant with that name. It looks to me like you drafted Samey."
Shawn's team glared but wouldn't dignify him with a response.
"And for my next pick..." Huh, Sky was also realizing what a large amount of freaks were on their cast. Sugar and Scarlett were probably the best for challenges of the lot, but needless to say she was hesitant to draft either. "I guess I choose Topher."
He zoomed up to the squad, oozing confidence. "Good choice! You won't regret it."
While he had some reservations about his next pick given the events of the finale, the concern and good memories outweighed any doubts. Shawn pointed to the germaphobe. "Dave, come on down bromigo!"
Genuinely shocked to be picked, Dave suppressed a relieved sigh and instead joined the others remaining stoic. Sky was secretly glad that the looming potentially awkward What If was now off the table.
"Guess I need to stack my team even if they're not the nicest..." She exhaled and cast the boys on her team an apologetic smile. "I'll take... Scarlett."
Many gasps rang out, although for one it was more out of offence than anything.
"Are you blind?" Max barked out. "You've had the opportunity all this time to draft evil incarnate and you instead opt for the bootleg second banana?"
"All I ask is that no matter what you do, he is NOT to join our team," the brainy girl hissed. "Do that and I'll play nice."
"Sure... as long as he's not the last one standing, then we don't really have a choice."
But that was a problem for later. Now back to Shawn. With his girlfriend, friend, and her friend all covered now he had to pick from the stragglers. Most were either usually weak in challenges or in Sugar's case annoying. But he did recall some good times and surprisingly useful abilities from one of them.
"Ella's next!"
She sung happily while birds escorted her to the group. Sugar snapped her head towards Sky expectantly. Part of her wanted to just ignore it, but considering what her other options were...
"Guess I'll take Sugar."
"Hmph, bout time one of y'all wisened up."
With her addition it was now down to Amy, Beardo, Leonard, and Max. A true who's who of All Stars. Dave looked over the three annoyances and sighed.
"Are we SURE that Amy is out of the question? At least she's sane." He flinched at Sammy's stern look. "Ok ok, I'm just joking!"
"Well he might be a lot, but I guess he DID go pretty far last time." Shawn scratched at his head and decided it was better than potentially getting stuck with the first AND second boot. "We draft Max."
"Hmph! You should be grateful that I dignify your puny ragtag group of heathens with my presence after taking so long to make the correct choice. Lucky for you, I'm feeling charitable."
Sky grimaced at her remaining choices. The two most useless dudes from the first season and a known abusive brat. She knew there was no way Shawn was ever letting Amy anywhere near their team for Sammy's sake, so she was winding up with her regardless. But she genuinely had no idea what she preferred between drafting Beardo or Leonard. She didn't expect either to be particularly useful. In the end, she decided she may as well leave it up to Shawn and draft the unsavory choice as a show of good faith.
"I'll take Amy so you guys don't have to deal with her."
The mean twin rolled her eyes but said nothing. Just sulked to the back of the team.
Leonard and Beardo exchanged a look, the later sighing and making a deflating balloon sound.
"Well the good news is we only have to take one of them," Dave mumbled.
"Anyone have any suggestions?" Shawn asked. "From the little time I worked with them I'd say they're about equal."
"Clearly the one with the most evil in their heart," Max answered. "Evil wizards exist, so he has my vote assuming that's what he's going for."
"Beardo's beatboxing might be a wonderful accompaniment to my singing," Ella suggested before pausing to glance towards the host. "Er, assuming I'm allowed the chance to do so."
Finally Sammy seemed to give it some genuine thought. "Well... watching the show back, Beardo seemed like he might have only been so awkward the first time because he's really shy. Maybe if we give him a chance to open up he could be an asset?"
Nobody seemed to oppose her so Shawn eventually nodded. "Our final pick is... Beardo."
Immediately the beatboxer's demeanor perked up. He WASN'T picked last? It was enough to make him let out a victorious trumpet blare and quickly joined his team.
"Yes! That means we get the wizard," Sugar cheered. "Now we can't lose!"
"Didn't you guys literally lose both challenges when you had him," Topher pointed out, but was ignored.
As the LARPer joined their ranks, Sky looked over her team, then the opposition, and was already feeling nervous. Shawn and Jasmine were forces to be reckoned with on their own, but as a unit? It was hard to imagine her squad stacking up. Still, she'd give it her best.
"Alright! With that settled lets make it official. Shawn, your team is officially now known as Wâsakâhâw Kihew. Aka, the Soaring Eagles. And Sky, your team will be Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow. Also known as the Ferocious Lions."
He gave last season's runner up an expectant look. "I had the interns double check the translation this time, does that check out?"
She shrugged. "They're close enough."
"Works for me! Now let's move on to your first challenge."
In contrast to last season, the cast weren't even given a chance to build in depth shelters for themselves. Instead they were each assigned a campsite with the promise that they could earn supplies via winning challenges. For example, winning the first would earn them sleeping bags. Something Shawn wasn't particularly concerned about, but he'd bring his A game all the same. The task was to build an effigy of their team symbol, utilizing a pile of scrap and garbage not unlike the one from last season's premier. Sky attempted to take control and order her team as she needed. But the likes of Sugar, Amy, and Leonard proved difficult to work with. Not making things better was the well oiled machine that was Shawn's team. Between him and Jasmine, leading the charge was child's play. Only Max gave any sort of resistance to orders and even then all it took was a suggestion to hinder the enemy team in the name of evil to turn him useful.
Once it was all said and done there was no contest. Shawn's team had created an intricate eagle statue, wings spread victoriously and even built in such a way where it could sway back and forth as if in flight. Meanwhile the lion from Sky's team better resembled a diseased street cat, its roar expression more derpy than ferocious. No time was needed for deliberation, victory went to Wâsakâhâw Kihew. As they celebrated their new sleeping bags, Sky gathered up the sane members of her team to discuss the vote. Leonard was agreed to be the weakest link, there was no reason why he shouldn't go. Though once she walked off, Rodney trailing behind like a lovesick puppy, Topher shot Scarlett a grin.
"What do you say we start the season off with a big juicy blindside? Quite frankly I don't like the way she's trying to boss us around."
The evil genius quirked an eyebrow. "Nor do I, but her assessment is correct. Leonard is dead weight to us. The strength distribution is already lopsided in favor of the other team, we'd be doing ourselves no favors widening that gap by ousting our most athletic member."
Topher waved a hand dismissively. "Ah come on, don't you remember how weird some of the challenges got last time? Strength isn't the only thing that's going to matter. But if I were you, I'd be worrying about how long you can avoid her using the whole blow up the island thing as a reason to target you."
Scarlett seemed unimpressed. "If it was such a concern for her, she'd be wasting no time to eliminate me now. I'd wager she's smart enough to realize I'm no threat to her for at the moment, thus it'd be idiotic to waste ridding her of a teammate who can actually CONTRIBUTE. Unlike Leonard."
Yeah, she wasn't budging. The wannabe host put up his hands and chuckled. "Suit yourself, just figured I'd throw it out there in case you were interested."
With a final suspicious leer she left him. Once she was out of earshot he turned and went off to find someone else. "Buuuut, even if you're not interested, I bet I know some people who WILL be."
*** Confessional: Topher ***
"Don't get it twisted, I'm still coming for that hosting position. But I realized after I got home last season that I was going about it all wrong. I was trying to be the next Chris, but what I should have been focused on was showing off the one and only Topher! So I'm not going to get the producers attention trying to just convince them Chris is old news. I'll do it by running this game like a pro and proving why I make good television. And what better way to do that than with a strong first impression?"
*** Ceremony ***
Soon enough it was ceremony time. The seven members of Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow filed in to the bonfire area, the Cannon of Shame looming ominously nearby. Chris stood at the podium, tray holding six marshmallows.
"Not gonna lie, you guys really sucked out there today. I even tried to take it easy on you with a challenge that wasn't too physical! Let's see if you made a good decision to stop you from being here next time..."
Uneasy looks were exchanged. Some appeared nervous, while others were confident. The first marshmallow was held up and eventually wound up in a certain farmer's hands.
"Rodney, you're safe. As is Topher. Plus... Amy!" The later two flashed subtle grins at each other. "Next up we have safety for, surprisingly, Scarlett and Sugar!"
At first relatively uninvested in the ceremony, Sky was suddenly at attention and very confused. Leonard meanwhile was murmuring a spell of safety to shield him from an early demise.
"Sky, you tried to lead your team to victory and worked hard to pull your weight. Leonard, you were literally the opposite getting picked last and being generally useless in the challenge. Sounds like an easy choice, right? But let's see what the votes say. The final marshmallow... of the night... goes to...
.
.
.
.
.
... Leonard!"
"Huzzah!" He caught his gooey treat, paying no mind to the bewildered yell from his team captain. "Seems my saving throw came up fortuitously!"
"You've got to be joking!" Sky damn near pulled her hair out in disbelief. "In what world do you guys think it's smart to get rid of me before him?"
"I agree." Scarlett grumbled, shooting a glare the host boy's way. "Care to enlighten us, Topher?"
He shrugged uncaringly. "That's showbiz, babe. It don't always make sense, but them's the brakes."
A flash forward showed Sky poking out of the cannon, Chris stood nearby with the button.
"From finalist to first boot! Ya hate to see it. Any last words, Sky?"
"Oh I've got plenty," she spat, still shaking from rage. "Of all the stupid, boneheaded things they can do, this has got to be the-"
Chris cut her off and fired her from the cannon, her screams echoing through the night as she soared away from the island. He chuckled to himself and smiled for the camera.
"Talk about a first episode upset! Just like that, one of our finalists bites the dust. Will Shawn follow in her footsteps, or will his team continue to dominate? What else does Topher have planned, and who will he target next? Who will Rodney thirst over now that one of his many crushes is gone? Tune in next time to find out, right here on TOTAL... DRAMA... PAHKITWO ISLAND!"
Next to him Chef narrowed his eyes. "I still can't believe that's what you're going with..."
Votes:
Sky: 4 (Topher, Leonard, Sugar, Amy)
Leonard: 3 (Sky, Scarlett, Rodney)
Contestants Standing:
Wâsakâhâw Kihew: Shawn, Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Max, Beardo
Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow: Rodney, Topher, Scarlett, Sugar, Amy, Leonard
Eliminated: Sky
In episode 2 the dynamics begin to form between the teams. Things are tumultuous on the Lions, Topher attempting to take his place as leader but Scarlett annoyed over them eliminating one of the more useful members. She's able to sway Rodney easily enough, but likewise Topher has recruited Amy as a solid ally. Sugar and Leonard are in the middle, being relatively annoying but for now holding the swing vote power for the other duos. Meanwhile the Eagles are much more tight knit. Shawn and Jasmine were closer than ever, Sammy was helping Beardo try to inch out of his shell, Dave found comfort in Ella's kindness allowing him to vent about the events of last season's finale. It was all so... disgustingly not evil. So Max tried to sow chaos where he could, but they amounted to little more than harmless pranks.
When the challenge came the Eagles were shocked to see that Sky was eliminated, Dave especially feeling very conflicted as a lack of closure settled in. Their task was a game of hide and seek. Scuba bear would seek them out and the team with the last person standing wins. Or rather last personS standing, because once again it was a steamroll. Shawn and Jasmine alone were guaranteed to be difficult to find, but Ella also proved adept at avoiding the mechanical bear with her woodland animals always able to carry her to safety and camouflage her. Even Beardo managed to disorient the bear by masking his location with perfectly recreated animal noises. By the time Scarlett was finally found, the last member of her team standing, only Dave, Max, and Sammy had been found from the opposition. Her purple haired rival flaunted his team's superiority despite being the first one eliminated.
It was a matter of who could convince Sugar which way to vote. Scarlett tried to appeal to the sensible side of her brain, Topher proposed that it would be a way to establish herself as the top dog by eliminating the other big villain from last season early. In the end, Topher knew the better buttons to press. Sugar sided with him, Leonard also tossing in a vote, sealing Scarlett's fate. Chris emphasized how she wasn't allowed to stick around but the pissed off genius insisted that this place wasn't worth her time anyway.
Votes:
Scarlett: 4 (Topher, Amy, Sugar, Leonard)
Topher: 2 (Scarlett, Rodney)
Contestants Standing:
Wâsakâhâw Kihew: Shawn, Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Max, Beardo
Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow: Rodney, Topher, Sugar, Amy, Leonard
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett
Episode 3 establishes Topher as now firmly in charge of the Lions. Amy is able to sway Rodney with some light flirting, and he humors Sugar and Leonard's antics, effectively slotting himself as someone with no enemies. When the mean twin vents about how her lame-o sister has been more stern with her lately and it annoys her she can't torment her, Topher suggests they sabotage the enemy team in the next challenge and pin it on Amy. Though he reveals in confessional that he's growing annoyed with her attitude and recent romantic advances which he's uninterested in.
Over with the Eagles Beardo is becoming more comfortable hanging out with his team though he's still too shy to talk. Trying to put the awkwardness of Sky being gone behind him, Dave decides to question Ella about her attraction to him that he'd only realized upon watching last season at home. She admits that the misunderstanding broke her heart and she doesn't think she's ready for any kind of romance for the time being but wants to be friends at least. Meanwhile Max lingers around Shawn and Jasmine, attempting to spread evil by pulling them apart but his antics only amuse them.
The challenge is a simple dueling contest where 7 battles will unfold and the team with more wins is safe. Due to being down two members the Lions must have two people double up, with Sugar and Rodney being selected. Round 1 sees Sugar topple her old nemesis Ella with ease, though her second round matchup against Jasmine results in a loss. Round 3 includes Topher giving himself the easy matchup against Max, which is closer than he'd like to admit but he still wins. Rodney's matches are next, but he actually loses both to Shawn and Beardo respectively. The later due to some expert uses of his sound effectives to disorient the farmer, which makes him blush at his team's applause. Leonard vs Dave is next, and the germaphobe underestimating the wizard proves to be his downfall when the nerd gets a lucky hit in that he insists was a fireball. It comes down to a twin battle, with Sammy ultimately victorious despite Amy and Topher's attempts to rig the fight in her favor. The ensuing temper tantrum is enough to make up Topher's mind and he has her ousted for his own sanity.
Votes:
Amy: 3 (Topher, Sugar, Leonard)
Leonard: 2 (Amy, Rodney)
Contestants Standing:
Wâsakâhâw Kihew: Shawn, Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Max, Beardo
Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow: Rodney, Topher, Sugar, Leonard
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy
Feeling inspired by his battle victory in the last episode, Leonard begins to ponder if the way of the wizard is what he should stick to. Perhaps he underestimated his own strength? Deciding to take a risk, he "changes classes" and emerges as Leonard the Barbarian, complete with new outfit including a horned helmet and war paint. A change which Sugar is low key kinda weirded out by. She became infatuated with a wizard, who is THIS freakazoid? Meanwhile Rodney is bummed that all the attractive girls are gone from their team, but Topher is quick to console him and even offer tips on how to be more suave. Things are still pretty similar on the Eagles, though Jasmine teases Sammy about her potentially having a crush on Beardo as the two grow closer. It doesn't help the accusations when she's the first person he musters up the courage to hold a conversation with. Max heckles Dave for his failures with Ella, which is bringing his resentment back to the surface. Shawn tried to reconnect with his bromigo but notices things are tense with him.
Chris doesn't like all the boots thus far being girls so he holds a challenge that's supposed to be in their favor. A fashion contest! Most of the contestants are far far out of their element. Leonard now in barbarian mode does nothing to help, and Sugar's suggestions hold back any work that Topher might have made to give them a chance. Between Ella and Sammy's eye for fashion, and the survivalists able to keep Max busy to avoid sabotage, the Eagles win. Again. Sugar has half a mind to suggest voting out the new Leonard since he's not as appealing to her with this new class, but in the end she relents and they vote for Rodney. Who really didn't do anything wrong, but was by now the odd man out of the team.
Votes:
Rodney: 3 (Sugar, Leonard, Topher)
Sugar: 1 (Rodney)
Contestants Standing:
Wâsakâhâw Kihew: Shawn, Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Max, Beardo
Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow: Topher, Sugar, Leonard
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney
Losing 4 episodes in a row was taking its toll on the Lions. Topher was still brimming with confidence but even he recognized that something had to change. When he brings up the need to make the enemies lose by any means necessary to his team, Leonard mulls it over and decides to once again switch classes. This time to a warlock, so he could get into the mindset of someone nefarious enough for playing dirty. Again, Sugar misses the wizard. By now Beardo is able to hold short conversations with his whole team. Except Max, who is still Max. Dave's attempts at buttering up Ella continue to be shot down and he mopes that perhaps he's doomed to be alone forever.
Topher takes notice of this in the next challenge and decides to act. It's a contest to hunt down Chris bots in the forest, and Topher assigns Leonard to mess with the survivalists while getting in Dave's ear that his teammates were rubbing their happiness in their face and would soon pick him off if he didn't get them first. After all, once the others are gone, why would they keep him over Samey? He successfully manipulates the germaphobe into throwing the challenge and thanks to Leonard's surprisingly effective hinderance, the Lions just barely manage to squeak out a win thanks to a berserk Sugar. Dave convinces Ella how to vote as she feels bad for having to shoot him down so much. Max is easy enough to convince. And the fourth vote? Topher and Sugar track down Beardo while he's alone and bully the introvert into doing what needs to be done, insisting that it'd be him instead if he didn't. Thus when the votes are revealed, it's a big shocker when Shawn is the one going home. He's so blindsided that he only puts the pieces together seconds before being fired from the cannon. Dave backstabbed him.
Votes:
Shawn: 4 (Dave, Ella, Max, Beardo)
Max: 3 (Shawn, Jasmine, Sammy)
Contestants Standing:
Wâsakâhâw Kihew: Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Max, Beardo
Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow: Topher, Sugar, Leonard
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn
Jasmine is immediately pissed off and demands answers. Dave makes it known he's obviously part of what happened but refuses to explain himself. Unlike Beardo, who's immense guilt has him come clean. This does little to quell the Aussie but to his shock Sammy is actually quite understanding and sympathizes with him as it's something Amy would likely do to her in the past. Over with the others Topher has noticed that Leonard's class changes are bugging Sugar, so he obviously encourages them. So next he becomes a bard, complete with a lyre he'd brought just in case. The constant singing reminds her of Ella, which continues to sour her on the nerd.
Next was the standard obstacle course style challenge and the smaller team size actually worked in the Lions' favor. Between Beardo's struggles, Max being useless, and a bit of dirty play to stop Ella's progress, the trio managed to all finish in time to win. Jasmine's sights were set squarely on Dave, but he actually offers an olive branch, stating that he's at his wits end with Max and will play nice with them if they vote together. She isn't receptive but Sammy insists it's their best bet and is ultimately able to convince her. The wannabe evil overlord is ousted without much fanfare, but plenty of protest from the gnome himself.
Votes:
Max: 5 (Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Beardo)
Sammy: 1 (Max)
Contestants Standing:
Wâsakâhâw Kihew: Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Beardo
Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow: Topher, Sugar, Leonard
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn, Max
Episode 7 arrives and Topher is mapping out his plans for the merge which must be right around the corner. Sugar confronts Leonard and asks why he's been so all over the place, and he says he's experimenting to see which class is the best fit for him. She doesn't understand and just demands he go back to being a wizard, to which he refuses. At least his other teammate supports his experimentation, hmph. Over with the Eagles Sammy and Beardo's conversations are turning more flirtatious, something he has NO idea how to navigate. Ella offers some advice, annoying Dave who's low key jealous that the weird beatbox guy is having a more successful date life than him. Jasmine's rage is also still festering but the two pretend to be cordial and agree to focus on trying to win.
One of the standard escape from a cave challenges is dropped on them, which triggers Jasmine's claustrophobia. Not a good pairing with the anger she's been dealing with. But with Ella's dulcet tones calming her and Sammy there for comfort she's able to manage. Beardo also implements some unorthodox echolocation strats to make things manageable for their team. Finally they return to the winner's circle, the Lions having not fared much better between Topher's apprehension to get dirty and Sugar's annoyance over Leonard's latest personality, a Rouge. Speaking of that class though, he's in a backstabby kinda mood and Topher is more than willing to oblige with his plan. Viewing this wildcard version of the nerd as a surprisingly useful asset, the boys cut the country girl loose, and she laments that she's gonna go find a NEW wizard who won't betray her.
Votes:
Sugar: 2 (Topher, Leonard)
Leonard: 1 (Sugar)
Contestants Standing:
Wâsakâhâw Kihew: Jasmine, Sammy, Dave, Ella, Beardo
Ka sohkâtisihk Mistahkesow: Topher, Leonard
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn, Max, Sugar
Episode 8 starts on Dave's mood turning more foul than ever. He'd overheard Ella admitting to Sammy that she DOES still have lingering feelings for the germaphobe but she just didn't feel emotionally prepared for a relationship right now. His attempts to win her over and convince her that it would be fine and she should just get over these hangups manages to actually upset the normally cheerful princess. In stark contrast, Beardo is able to successfully ask out Sammy, which she happily accepts. Jasmine thinks the development is cute, but it also reminds her that Shawn isn't here and her game face is on. As for the Lions, Topher starts to prep Leonard to be a proper right hand ally and the proposal to get serious sees him change his class to a monk.
The merge is finally here and Chris once again celebrates with a feast. Of disgusting foods not fit for human consumption. Whoever can get through the disgusting meals first wins, and with Sugar gone it's anyone's game. With so many weak stomachs it becomes a three man race, and while Jasmine and Beardo give it their all the ultimate winner is surprisingly Leonard. He claims his meditative training eased his nerves and made forcing down the grub easier than you'd think. Topher grins and decides to get to work. After feeling out the landscape he finds that Dave and Ella are a duo, albeit a shaky one with them unable to find a common ground. Meanwhile Sammy and Beardo are a much more solid couple with Jasmine still as a loyal ally to her friend. Not to mention that group being warry of him after the bully Beardo strategy that got out Shawn. It's clear which side he should target. After linking up with Dave and a reluctant Ella, the group winds up targeting the clear biggest threat. Jasmine is furious to be out and comes close to punching Dave, but Ella steps between them to force her down. Awkwardly the Aussie spits that Ella deserves better and lurches off to the cannon.
Votes:
Jasmine: 4 (Topher, Leonard, Dave, Ella)
Dave: 3 (Jasmine, Sammy, Beardo)
Contestants Standing:
Merge: Beardo, Dave, Ella, Leonard, Sammy, Topher
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn, Max, Sugar, Jasmine
In the wake of Jasmine's elimination Sammy starts to realize the dire position her and Beardo are in. She's able to sus out that Topher has been sitting pretty running things in the background, and Leonard seems content being his warrior, now having switched to a druid to try and balance out the animal hypnotizing skills Ella possessed. To that end, she decides a long heart to heart with Ella is in order. Feelings or not, Dave's impatience and refusal to consider her feelings wasn't healthy and she tries to get through to the princess that she shouldn't feel obligated to stay near him if he's going to treat her unfairly. Beardo agrees and offers to help her confront Dave if need be, confrontation no longer terrifying him as much as it would have in the past. Ella declines but it's given her something to think about.
For their challenge the contestants must wrangle animals that have been mixed in with the island's fake robot animals, something that's immediately called out as stacked in Ella's favor. Though Chris balances it by banning singing, warning that it would be grounds for instant disqualification. With this restriction in place it's a pretty even fight, though it's actually Sammy who manages to inch out a win. Topher reasons that Beardo is instead the logical choice to boot, something Dave is eager to go for. However, Ella's put off by his trash talking of the hairy boy and is uncomfortable at his demands to vote with them. When the votes are revealed, in a shock it's actually a tie between Beardo and Dave. Ella averts her eyes, her silence speaking volumes. The tiebreaker is being the first to catch a greased pig from the challenge. Beardo uses his skills to replicate a perfect pig call, but Dave pushes him out of the way at the last minute and pushes through his aversion to filth to steal the win. Beardo shares a farewell with Sammy and the air becomes as awkward as it's ever been with Dave still in the game, now knowing Ella had tried to oust him.
Votes:
Beardo: 3 (Topher, Leonard, Dave) LOST TIEBREAKER
Dave: 3 (Sammy, Beardo, Ella). WON TIEBREAKER
Contestants Standing:
Merge: Dave, Ella, Leonard, Sammy, Topher
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn, Max, Sugar, Jasmine, Beardo
Immediately Dave wants answers for why Ella backstabbed him, but she's too emotional for confrontation. Sammy steps up and lays into him, calling out his impatience and lack of empathy for the girl who'd treated him with such kindness. While she sympathizes with the fact that he has issues of his own, it's no excuse to treat someone who cares about him poorly and that he needs to do some serious reflecting. Of course, Topher intends to continue stirring this drama so the target is firmly off his back. As for Leonard, all these hurt feelings inspires him to take up the mantle of a cleric, thinking that his healing magic may be just the thing to life everyone's spirits. It does not.
At nighttime the contestants are met with a horror challenge, one where a killer robot yeti threatens to pick them off one by one if they can't find the switch to deactivate it. Much drama is had and yelling flung as emotions come to a boil in the tense situation, Dave throwing himself a pity party, while Sammy snaps at him and Ella just wishes for the despair to end. All this noise keeping the robot distracted is more than enough to allow Topher an easy immunity win, having steered clear of the mess while Leonard unhelpfully tried to mend the situation with his shenanigans. Come ceremony time Topher offers to vote out Ella next to make things easier for Dave, which he agrees to. However, as the marshmallows are being passed out and he finally takes time to reflect on his actions, guilt finally overtakes the germaphobe. He stops the ceremony and offers to quit in Ella's place, realizing the thing he needs right now isn't a girlfriend, but therapy. Touched, she offers that perhaps they can at least remain friends when this is all over. Chris is unamused to see him quit for the second season in a row, but reluctantly gives the guy what he wants despite Topher's protests.
Votes:
Ella: 3 (Topher, Leonard, Dave)
Dave: 2 (Sammy, Ella)
VOTES VOID, DAVE QUITS
Contestants Standing:
Merge: Ella, Leonard, Sammy, Topher
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn, Max, Sugar, Jasmine, Beardo, Dave
Episode 11 sees Topher pretty annoyed at Dave's change of heart. The path to the finale was all but guaranteed with him under his thumb, but now he was looking at a 2vs2 situation with his only help being Leonard. But the nerd had proved shockingly useful, and the opposition weren't exactly powerhouses so he could work with this. Oh, and Leonard's class change of the day? He's a ranger now. As for the girls, Ella's head is back in the game now that things are mostly resolved with Dave and she agrees to work together with Sammy. They bond over their meek natures that people have taken advantage of and vow to prove they have a fire inside them by going to the finale together. Ella proposes that they try to reason with Leonard, Topher may be the mastermind but the LARPer is merely playing along since he indulges in the nerd's eccentrics.
Chris announces that there will be no vote tonight, instead opting for an auto elimination challenge. The contestants will compete in an extreme boat race, traversing rushing rapids, waterfalls, and ravenous sharks to reach a finish line. Last to cross is gone. As expected, the race is immediately a battle of the sexes. The girls ram into Topher's boat, while he and Leonard primarily focus on Sammy since she's seen as the bigger threat. During the race the girls try to talk some sense into Leonard, revealing that Topher has actually made fun of him behind his back and is merely using him. Topher defends himself and accuses them of lying, trying to get in his head so they can steal the win. In the end Ella manages to cross first due in large part to the animals of the island protecting her, with Leonard not far behind. It's a neck and neck race between Sammy and Topher, but despite Ella's pleas the ranger draws his bow and fires a blunt arrow into the cheerleader's canoe. Her ship is sunk and Topher manages to cross with ease. Ella is tearful at Sammy's exit but she encourages the princess to keep her head up and win the game, telling her that she believes in her.
Votes:
N/A, Sammy lost challenge
Contestants Standing:
Merge: Ella, Leonard, Topher
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn, Max, Sugar, Jasmine, Beardo, Dave, Sammy
The penultimate episode is here, and Topher couldn't be happier. All that stands between him and his ally being the finalists is the wimpy princess girl, and then all he has to do is steamroll that nerd LARPer to secure the bag. And what dumb character is he doing now, something called a paladin? Sure buddy, whatever makes you happy. To his credit, Leonard takes pity on Ella now being alone and goes to converse with her. The two bond over their love of fairy tales and whatnot and he vows to fight with honor against her. She does try to make another suggestion of them teaming up against Topher, but he insists that it must be a fair fight and he intends to show no bias.
For their challenge, Chris implements a race with various portions themed after their fallen competitors. First up is increasingly difficult hurdles with pits full of spiders on the other side for those who fail to clear them, referencing Sky. Then having to avoid explosions as if Scarlett was still here, so on and so forth. As the most fit of the three, Topher figures this will be a cakewalk. Until the booby traps prove harder than anticipated. His cockiness sets him back more than enough for the weirdos to keep pace. No biggie, he figures, he'll just throw Ella off to keep her from winning. After all, as long as she doesn't win they're fine. But the chivalrous Leonard takes umbrage with this strategy and comes to her aid. Topher's dumbfounded and points out that they're supposed to be allies, but the paladin says he can't in good conscious stand by as he treats a fair maiden so poorly. With their fighting intensifying, it gives Ella the window she needs to pull ahead and secure immunity. It helps that Leonard ultimately wins the duel and pushes Topher into a pile of manure during the Dave section, sending the wannabe host into a full fledged panic attack. Chris laughs tauntingly when Topher is ultimately eliminated, pointing out how he was embarrassed by not only the challenge but also losing out to ELLA AND LEONARD of all people.
Votes:
Topher: 2 (Ella and Leonard)
Leonard: 1 (Topher)
Contestants Standing:
Finalists: Ella and Leonard
Eliminated: Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Rodney, Shawn, Max, Sugar, Jasmine, Beardo, Dave, Sammy, Topher
Somehow, someway, against all odds and with people like Jasmine on the cast, the finale was here and the last ones standing were the people acting like they'd jumped out of a nursery rhyme. Chris was amused, flummoxed, maybe even a little annoyed. But hey, he could appreciate the train wreck. Ella is delighted to have survived despite everything, feeling a bit of pride for helping to take down Topher after all the chaos he'd caused this season. Meanwhile Leonard was beaming at nearing the end of his mighty quest. His confidence at an all time high, he finally returns to where it all started. He dawns the robe and beard once more, heralding the return of Leonard the wizard. Now to claim the bounty.
Chris brings back the eliminated contestants who almost unanimously support Ella, though Leonard does have some straggler supporters in Sugar, Max, and Scarlett. The later simply thinks he was mildly amusing and less messy a player than Ella, while the other two may genuinely believe he's a real wizard, Sugar being overjoyed to see him restored to his former glory. For their challenge Chris decided to be thematic to his competitors. He allows them to build armor, craft weapons, even tame a wild steed, before giving them their final task. Slay a dragon. Yes, a dragon. An animatronic one perhaps, but the fire was still very real. It's an epic and dramatic challenge to say the least, Ella utilizing her animal friends for help, while Leonard's delusions thrust him into taking bigger risks than most would be comfortable with. In the end, one of them manages to locate the dragon's weak spot and thrust their weapon in, earning them an unlikely million dollars. Which one was it? I'll let you decide.
Final Results:
14th: Sky, 13th: Scarlett, 12h: Amy, 11th: Rodney, 10th: Shawn, 9th: Max, 8th: Sugar, *MERGE*, 7th: Jasmine, 6th: Beardo, 5th: Dave, 4th: Sammy, 3rd: Topher, Winners/Runner Ups: Leonard and Ella
Author's Note:
Been a bit since I touched this, whoops. Anyway, this is the first instance of me actually taking an idea from the reviews, in this case one from PLizWiz. While a rematch season for the ROTI cast could definitely be fun, the fact that most of them show up in All Stars anyway (with 3, arguably 4 of them having main roles at that), had me less excited at the idea. However, PI having a rematch season is really interesting. Between the overly quirky cast and just weird vibe of the season in general it's remained one of the least popular seasons and would probably benefit from another round to endear these characters to people more. So I went for it. I started with assembling the teams how I thought Shawn and Sky would similar to Priya and Bowie's schoolyard pick in their rematch season and went from there. Immediately decided to slot Topher in as the main antagonist, decided to explore the hanging dynamic of Dave and Ella, and needed a ship to throw in somewhere so I eventually settled on Sammy and Beardo since that sounds cute. The only storyline that would realistically probably be explored that I didn't really delve into was the whole Amy vs Sammy thing... but I explore that in BOTG and kinda touched on it in the Revenge of the Rejects chapter, I didn't feel like focusing on it a third time, lmao.
At first I looked into the idea of the finale being Leonard vs Beardo as a sorta funny "look the first two boots are somehow the winners now" twist, but trying to do that had me doing a really lopsided gender ratio in favor of the guys that I just wasn't feeling. So eventually I settled on this, the two most fantastical characters somehow made it to the end. Very silly and unrealistic, but that's the PI vibe for you. Also, I gotta give credit to the whole "Leonard changes his D&D class to different results" gimmick to my friend and fellow author Molly aka Fangren. Yes, the Shuffled author. She played Leonard once in an RP where I was Max and used that idea for him there and I've just always thought that was a fun way to keep Leonard interesting in a scenario where he isn't an early boot. I didn't go too deep into how each class change had Leonard changing up his personality because it would have been a lot of unneeded fluff for the What If format, but just imagine him acting very aggressive as a barbarian, suave as a rogue, etc etc.
So with that out of the way, since I took this idea from a review I'd like to reiterate that by all means feel free to leave me ideas there, but ideally I'd like to still see thoughts on the chapter too alongside them. Reviews that are JUST the prompts can be a bummer, ya dig? Anyway, next chapter I want to do one of my scrapped fic idea rundowns like the opening Revenge of the Rejects one. So the next chapter will almost certainly be Personality Swap Island since I still have a fair amount of the planning material for it laying around, it'll be easy to lay out. Until then, hope this was interesting!