Gwin and Candaith have a difficult conversation, and connect in a way they haven't had the chance to do in some time. Enjoy!

Chapter 143

The first thing I did when I came upon Candaith resting on his cot was settle myself into his embrace, his good arm coming around me automatically as he held me close. After a short time of silence where he stroked my hair, he whispered, "I sense something monumental has happened which is causing you distress." I nodded against his chest but remained quiet, trying to find the words to say. "You know you can always share your thoughts with me Gwin." He kissed my forehead, and this small act of comfort made my eyes sting with tears.

Several more minutes of silence went by, and I appreciated Candaith's patience with me. With much effort, we both sat up and I faced him, taking his hand in mine and forcing myself to meet his eyes. "Aragorn has come to a decision regarding the next steps," I said quietly, and Candaith frowned at the pain he clearly heard in my voice. "He wishes to gather a force of willing soldiers to march on the Black Gate."

"The Black Gate?" Candaith echoed back, clearly flabbergasted. "That is a suicide mission. To what end?"

"He…he wants us to be the bait to allow Frodo the time and secrecy he needs to complete his mission to destroy the Ring," I whispered, and I felt my chest squeeze as Candaith put the pieces together. "Candaith, there will be no returning from this." I cursed at the shakiness of my voice, and hated feeling this weak and fearful.

"What did you say when he asked if you would join him?" Candaith asked, clearly worried about my answer.

"I did not speak with him about it or commit either way," I answered, and I could feel Candaith's anxiety. "I could not make such a decision without speaking to you first." I managed to quirk my lips into what I hoped was a smile. "We are a team, and I finally feel like I am getting better at remembering it."

Candaith leaned in and kissed me softly, before quipping, "Took you long enough." I huffed a laugh, finding his warm smile comforting. "What does your heart tell you?" he asked.

I sighed heavily. "I think this is a foolish course of action," I admitted. "Yet I can see no other options which would be better."

There was a pause, and I could tell Candaith was considering what he would say. "Gwin, I know what you wish to do," Candaith said knowingly. "Yet you hold back because you do not wish to leave me behind to do it." He gestured to his arm sadly. "I would only be a hindrance on the battlefield like this, and while it goes against everything in me, I must stay here."

"How can I leave you?" I asked, the anguish clear in my voice. "How can I abandon you to go on this journey which will likely result in my death?" My lip wobbled as I tried to keep my tears at bay. "I do not wish to be parted from you, meleth nin."

"Neither do I," Candaith answered solemnly, "But I also do not wish for you to remain here and go against your duty to Aragorn. I know in your heart you want to aid him and fight by his side, to give Frodo even a slightly better chance of succeeding."

"What about my duty to you?" I countered. "You are my husband, the other half of my soul…does that not take precedence over anything else?"

"Nay, my love," Candaith said quietly, and despite the grief I could see, I could tell he was sure of his words. "This is the final throw which Lord Elrond spoke of. It is Frodo's best chance, and any who can fight should be there, including you." I hated how right he was, because the selfish part of me wanted to stay with Candaith and hide until it was all over. Yet, deep in my heart, I knew what I must do.

It was as if my whole life had led up to this moment, which would change everything, for good or ill.

"I will go with Aragorn," I whispered, my heart breaking a little more with each word I spoke, and Candaith pulled me close as I cried.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Four days later and Candaith was stable enough to move to his own room in the Houses, and I appreciated the privacy it gave us. I would be leaving tomorrow with the army for the Black Gate, and wanted this one night for the two of us to express our love.

Perhaps it would be the last opportunity to do so.

Only a few candles were lit, but that was all I needed to admire Candaith's body as he pulled his tunic off with my help. I pretended not to see how he winced as he moved his injured arm, and he pulled me flush against him with the other, tangling his callused hand in my hair as we kissed. My tunic had long since found its way to the floor, my trousers following shortly after while I fumbled with the ties of his.

I gasped as his tongue found the point of my right ear, my knees weak as he gently sucked the tip. Luckily for me his embrace was firm and I did not fall, and his warm chuckle made heat pool in my stomach as he gently laid me down on the soft mattress, before continuing to kiss his way down my body. Each touch of his lips felt like fire, and I trembled with pleasure when they reached where I wanted him most. It had been quite some time since we had been intimate due to circumstances out of our control, and I knew if he didn't slow down, I would come undone much quicker than I wanted to.

"C-Candaith, wait," I breathed, my breath hitching as he slowed his rhythmic movements to look up at me quizzically with his darkened blue eyes. "I…I want to make this last, in case it's our final time." I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes and blinked them away furiously, not wanting to feel any sadness during such an important moment.

He settled himself in my embrace, with his head resting on my chest as I slowed my breathing. "Gwin, we must have hope that it is not the case. I know not why, but my heart tells me we will see each other again." I felt it was just wishful thinking, but I wanted to believe it too. He turned his face and met my gaze, eyes full of emotion. "Yet, if this is truly our last night together, we must make it a memorable one." He reached up and wiped away a few tears which had escaped despite my best efforts, and placed his hand on my cheek to stroke it tenderly. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered, before pulling his face to mine for a searing kiss. I somehow managed to push all my worries and fears down into the place I kept all my dark thoughts and focused only on him. We switched places and I felt his full length enter me as I looked down at him. The candlelight flickered over his face, and I saw the love he had for me reflected in his eyes as I began to move. I traced the skin of his chest with my fingertips, trying to memorize each plane of his body. His hand settled on my hip, rubbing me in slow circles as I rocked back and forth. I leaned forward and he took my nipple into his mouth, sucking and flicking it with his tongue. The myriad of sensations overwhelmed me and I felt the pressure building. "I…I cannot hold on anymore," I gasped, and tipped all the way over the edge as he groaned my name. I tried to catch my breath but Candaith was thrusting erratically before finally finding his release, and I collapsed on him as all my energy left me. We were both sweaty and panting, but I did not mind.

We stayed connected for a little while, and I knew I had never felt so loved and cherished as I did in that moment. He stroked my back with his hand, and I buried my face in his neck as more tears came. Could this be the end of our story? Would we be forever parted when I left him behind tomorrow? It didn't bear thinking about, so I tried to put it from my mind. Eventually I rolled off of him and rose to clean myself with a soft cloth and water from a bowl in the room. It smelled pleasantly of lavender and mint, and I breathed deeply as it calmed my spirit. He watched me with soft eyes, and cleaned himself before we settled in an embrace under the covers.

Candaith kissed my forehead and said, "Sleep, meleth. I will keep bad dreams far from you."

"You need rest yourself," I murmured before yawning. "Do not worry for me, I will have no trouble falling into reverie with you by my side."

I felt him quirk a smile against my cheek before he said, "Then let us both find rest. We will need our strength to get through tomorrow."

"Yes, we will," I whispered, before kissing him slowly once more. It was only a short time later that I heard his slow, even breathing, and let my eyes glaze over in reverie.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

We both rose early, taking the opportunity to just hold each other before reluctantly going our separate ways. I headed to the bath houses where I had gone before, and noticed it was eerily quiet. Almost all of the women had been evacuated to safer lands when it became clear Minas Tirith would be besieged, and I tried to imagine how this would look if everyone was still here. Feeling uneasy, I washed quickly and returned to the room where I stored all of my gear. Making sure I had everything I needed, I strapped my quiver to my back and sheathed my knives in their scabbards. It almost felt like any other day, with the exception of the decreased morale which could almost be felt in the air.

Candaith rode down with me, and I settled back against him as he held me close. His other arm was in a sling, and I hoped it wasn't being jostled too much by the rhythmic gait of the horse. I didn't feel any pain from him, but knew he was more skilled at hiding it than he once was.

Finally we exited the city through the large hole where the gate used to be, and I nodded at Aragorn as he spotted me. The rest of the soldiers were gathered, and captains were organizing them into their regimens as I made my way over to Elladan and Elrohir. They looked grave, which was an odd expression to see on their normally smiling faces. Dismounting, I hugged them both briefly. "Will we be ready to leave soon?" I asked, voice sounding small.

Elladan nodded, "Yes, we should be riding out within the hour." He eyed me closely, surely able to notice the heaviness of my spirit. Turning to Candaith, he bowed and solemnly stated, "We will keep her safe."

Candaith laughed humorlessly, "That is not a promise you can keep, but I thank you for making it all the same." With that, he helped me tie my saddlebags onto my mount, our hands meeting as I adjusted it and our fingers tangling together briefly. I noticed Elladan and Elrohir giving us some privacy, and turned to Candaith. "I will miss you," he said softly, clearing his throat as his voice broke. He put his hand over my heart and added, "I am always with you."

I put mine over his and squeezed it, and took a shaky breath. "If I do not return, I want you to know that I will always love you." My breath caught as I felt a sob in my throat. "Forever." I would carry it with me across the sea to the Halls of Mandos, should it be my fate.

"You know I always will, meleth nin," he replied, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "Please come back to me," he breathed, before pulling me into a tender kiss. I would normally have been embarrassed by such a public display of affection, but in this moment, I could not have cared less as I returned it, pouring all the love I had into it. Candaith put our foreheads together before he finally released me, albeit it reluctantly. "Namarie."

I mounted up and, before I could change my mind, turned and rode away from him.

Whew, that was an emotional rollercoaster for Gwin and Candaith. Despite wishing he could go with Gwin, Candaith made the responsible decision to stay behind while Gwin rides into peril. Thanks for reading!