(Authors note if you don't know what the waifu catalog is but still want to read this I suggest you read this chapter or skip it either way you can still read this story just may be confused sometimes though I will try to explain things.)

I remember back in 2012, there was a video game called Dumb Ways to Die. For a brief moment, everyone I knew was obsessed with it. The game even had this ridiculously catchy theme song that would get stuck in your head for hours. What was it about, you ask? Well, it showcased all the dumb ways people could die like lighting your hair on fire or taking expired medicine. It was the kind of ridiculous stuff you'd think only an idiot would do. Anyway, there I was, fresh off watching an anime, thinking, why not write a quick story about it? Correction: I thought I was going to write a quick story. What actually happened was me spending 12 hours straight writing under a blanket, lying in bed, lost in my own world.

Now here is where the "Dumb Ways to Die" part comes in. My 10-year-old laptop was struggling. I had 10 tabs open and was charging it for 12 hours in a hot space where there was no air circulation. In retrospect what was going to happen was obvious the laptop sounded like a helicopter its fans on full blast. Of course, being a big brained individual, I never contemplated the possibility of my laptop catching fire. Until it did. This shouldn't have been that big of a problem just dump some water on the laptop and call it a day, right? Well, that blanket I was under was flammable very flammable. Guess what? The pajamas I was wearing were also very flammable. If you ask me that is a "Dumb Way to Die" but what do I know?

Needless to say, that hurt a lot! Like a lot a lot, I don't recommend dying to fire at all! But eh whatever at least my laptop was destroyed getting rid of things that would ruin my legacy. It's not like I was a loser or anything. I was never at the top of any social hierarchy, but I've always stayed in the middle. I had a Girlfriend I had friends that I did stuff with, but I was also a degenerate. I lived a two-faced life as a normal person by day, smut writer by night.

But death is the end, the one thing nobody can escape supposedly. That's what confuses me really as if I died which I know I did. Why am I sitting at a desk in an office cubicle? Even more so why is there no exit from this office cubicle, the walls being if I had to guess around maybe 10 feet? And the ceiling I can't even see how high it is. Through the cubicles walls I hear computers typing phones ringing copying machines well copying but not one human voice. This must be one elaborate prank, or a drug induced fever dream. I'm leaning towards the latter as my body does not feel like it was just lit on fire from head to toe and covered in third degree burns.

My vision spun and before I knew it my face slammed into the desk. After the impact I shake my head in an attempt to clear my vision and once the spinning stops, I see that the room I was in is completely changed. I still sat in front of a desk but now at the other end there was a young man wearing a suit and tie with brown hair and blue eyes. He was looking at me will a calm almost sympathetic smile seemingly waiting for me to get settled. Looking around the room it had shifted from the office space to a cramped dark room with green wallpaper and a singular metal door behind where the man was sitting across from me. Outside the door I hear wheels rolling sounding like a stretcher and moans of pain as people walk by the door. The cherry on top to this disturbing setting was classical music being played across an intercom distorting the audio making it staticky.

Glancing at the man again, he still wore that calm smile. Unable to stand the silence any longer, I asked, "Where the hell are we?"

The man's mouth opened and then closed again, his expression shifting to one of slight embarrassment as he glanced around the room. "Ah, sorry, I didn't expect you to ask that," he said, offering a sheepish smile. "I believe the year is 1854. The Crimean War is raging, and we're in the city of Constantinople, at a war hospital. The same war hospital where Florence Nightingale resided if you know of her" He paused, placing a hand thoughtfully to his chin. His tone slowed, as though he were carefully piecing his thoughts together on how to explain.

"Well, not exactly. We're in a twisted version of the tale where she does not succeed, but where we are doesn't matter." Another pause followed, and he shrugged faintly, his voice now tinged with resignation. "I'm just doing a favor for a friend, and this was the easiest place to do it."

I raised an eyebrow. "And this favor for a friend is?"

The man's eyes brightened, and he smiled grew wide. "I'm glad you asked! Originally, my friend was supposed to be the one to deal with you, but he made me do it because something came up. Now, I'm going to explain a lot to you, but first, you're probably wondering who I am, right? Well, you can call me your Patron. We'll get into the ins and outs of what that means soon enough!"

Leaning back in my chair the tension that I previously had leaving just a bit from the mood change of my patron. It's obvious that he is friendly maybe crazy as being in 1854 is impossible unless somehow the man can use magic. That does seem to be making increasingly amount of sense though. Awakening in that office cubicle only then to be somehow transported to what is 1854 that does sound like magic. The man looking at me with his head cocked waiting for my approval to continue and after a quick nod from my part he does.

The man takes a breath in an says, "As it stands you are dead, and The Company and I would like to extend an offer to you. If you accept you will be given your life back in a new world and task with the mission of collecting or capturing fictional character to be cloned and sold in the "Waifu Catalog". The original copy of the character you will be allowed to keep and use to your liking. You will be allowed to travel across fictional worlds and will occasionally be given mission which the company may need or want you to complete. Now it's important you listen to this next part carefully. If you accept this offer you will have to effectively enslave people. If you need any convincing let me, just tell you that-"

"I accept." I cut him off with, it may be selfish, but this is survival the only way to guarantee my life. Everyone loves to preach morality but when it comes down to survival morality doesn't matter. And who wouldn't want this new life? A chance for power to see new worlds and adventure. I can't lie the prospect of getting to collect the hottest women across fiction is irresistible. And as fucked up as it is the idea of enslaving them, I don't mind as long as I keep the ones I care about close and happy that's all I need. I wish I could say I hesitate I really do but that's not the type of person I am.

The man blinked, "Well... that was easy this has always been the hard part ya know? Most people hesitate, every now and then someone will cry and yell saying how wrong this is. But you immediately went to 'Sign me up to be a slaver.' I can respect it."

"Well, it wasn't that hard of decision I don't know what to tell you," I defend.

"I just expected you to... I don't know... be more morally opposed to slavery. It normally takes more convincing, but I'm not complaining," he says with a shrug, then continues his tone shifting back to business. He pulls out a long contract and a pen and places them on the table. "Just sign this when you're ready you can try to read but well it's in a magical language that even I can't understand." When I got it, I of course still tried to read it but I just couldn't. I recognized the letters but when I tried to read it was just not understandable. But it's not like I have a choice I trust this man and sign this or I die so I signed it simple as.

Upon my signature being written on the paper it burned out of existence and what replace it was a feeling I couldn't quite place. Servitude, binding, ownership, but also freedom? "It's a strange feeling, isn't it? Word of precaution the name you had in your old life don't use it anymore not unless you're signing something for the company. A name is everything for someone in our business if someone gets yours it can be bad." He says sagely and then continues "Well with that out of the way we have to setup your build. It's essentially a set of powers you can enhance as you capture characters and complete missions. The company supports you by providing you the means to get stronger, and everything runs on credits, our digital currency. You'll track your credits and manage your build through a company issued phone."

He reached down, picked up a laptop from the floor, and placed it on the desk in front of us. When he opened it towards me, the screen displayed various fictional worlds ranked from DR1 to DR10. "The first choice you need to make is your starting world," he explained. "As you can see, the rankings range from DR1, which are paradises with little to no danger, to DR10, which are brutal hellscapes where death is common, and life is short and harsh. The higher the DR of the world you choose, the more starting credits you'll receive but don't focus too much on that! When I picked my starting world, I went straight into a DR10. I barely survived for months and only just managed to escape. My advice? Choose a mid-level world you think you'd enjoy, preferably one with Waifus you'd want to go after. Don't stress about knowing the language of the world you're in as a contractor of the Company you can understand and speak all languages. So just take your time to pick a world. We're not in any hurry."

Two Hours Later

"How about the forgotten realms from DnD?"

"That would be a good world, until you think about all the gods in it. One of them would notice that there is something weird with you and give you the red mist treatment."

We've been going back and forth with ideas for world for hours now with only a few contenders for where I would go. We've been trying to find someone with high enough difficulty rating but at the same time wouldnt give me the aforementioned red mist treatment. "What about High school DxD?" I question.

"That would not be half bad. It's a DR6 so you would get a decent number of credits to start with, and there are a lot of targets to capture. There is some danger here however the high-level opponents in this verse are strong like strong strong! But you will be fine. Unless you're a grade A asshole none of these high-level people will want to murder you. So, the red mist treatment is not that big of a threat at the start you should have time to get strong!" He replies animatedly with a thumbs up.

Now that does sound good a decent number of characters to capture which I've been told is important because whenever I capture someone, I will get credits worth to their tier. Their tier being based off their strength and abilities ranging from T1-T10. Another good thing is being the world that DxD is I should have opportunities to capture people. Then a new concern hit me, "Can we write people out of the story or genderbend them?"

"Of course, you can you just need to buy [Universal Calibration] its cheap being on 10 credits. With that you could change people age gender or even existence! But if you were to change significant things that could change the danger rating of the world. As long as you don't remove any villains you should be good!"

"Nifty lets lock DxD in then as my starting world. And I'll take that [Universal Calibration] ability."

"Roger Roger with that choice you'll have 155 credits to make your build more than enough.

"Yeah, sure I have to trust you after all not like I got a choice."

"You are right about that! Next will be how you are dropped in how does taking over the body of a no name nobody sound?"

"Fine but just make sure they go to Kuoh Academy."

"No actually I want to send you to Antarctica." He says with a sarcastic tone. "Listen I'm on your side, Ok? I want you to succeed because if you succeed then I get credits. For every three credits you make I get 1 now that may not seem like a lot but trust me it adds up. And before you get mad someone else has the same deal with me it goes all the way up the chain."

"And who is at the top?"

"Believe me I would like to know too but we don't need to care about that we have everything we could want already after all. Multiversal travel with any number of ways to get powerful and claim everything we desire. I stopped trying to figure out who sets the stage of this grand play thousands of years ago. Let me tell you It's best not to worry about."

That would never happen how can I not worry about the Thing so powerful it can allow anyone to travel the Multiverse? How could I not worry about a being so strong that it can contain beings so powerful that they are considered on the level of the author of their universe? It's human nature to fear the unknown and in that aspect I very human extremely human. "I will never share your view on this but there is nothing to be done for that."

A small sympathetic smile tugged at the man's lips as he said "I wonder how long you'll keep that opinion?"

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and then continued, "So about binding, you'll have this stamp it works very simply. All you gotta do is hold the stamp to the targets flesh for 3 seconds and then bang! 72 hours later it will form a tattoo with your sigil in the center, it is imperceptible to people outside your retinue. Once the tattoo fully forms, they are captured, and your credits get transferred. Also, a word of warning if you capture someone you find attractive, they will adore you. Adore you so much that they will act ridiculously horny and throw themselves at you. This of course can be turned down if you want using the company issued phone."

"You're making such a big deal out of this, I think I can handle a few girls with a high libido."

"Never said you couldn't" he says smiling shaking his head, "But once you spend enough time, you'll have 20, or 40 captures most of which you probably won't care about. And so, when that happens just know that you can turn down or even turn off the effects of being bound. But I digress, whatever that means," He flipped the laptop he had been typing on for the past few hours around to face me, what I saw was an endless list of fictional characters. "This my friend is the Waifu Catalog, being the gracious patron I am I will grant you one free T5 companion to start with in your world. Choose wisely!"

The options were limitless every single fictional character I have ever heard of was in here with there being an infinite amount that I didn't know. Luckily there was a search feature which I used to narrow down the selection to female characters in the T5 range. You may ask why do they have to be a girl? Well, I'll ask you in response why wouldn't they be a girl? I don't have anything against other guys but if I could spend more time with one of the two genders the choice is obvious. I'd also want them to be a high school student in age as I was going to Kuoh academy and having a friend close by would always be helpful. Looking through the list now with the specifications no girls were standing out to me that was until I saw Fern. She checked all the boxes. Girl? Check. Hot? Check? T5? Check. High schooler? Check as long as pick a version of her from earlier into the story.

"You've made your choice?" My patron asked.

"Yeah, I'm sticking with this pick, why you disagree?"

"Nah just making sure because you and me done are for now then, the rest of your build you do on your own. While you get sent to High School DxD the Company will scan your mind to see what build you desire most and grant it to you. So, me and you are done for now... buuuuuuut,"

"What?"

"I'll contact you like a day or two after you start your new life!"

"You're telling me I'll have to deal with you for longer? But really thanks for the help, I'll try to pay you back by getting some credits for you."

"Don't stress about that take your time we're not in any rush! The Company is transferring your souls now, I hope you like your new name!" He said with a laugh my vision and hearing starting to fade as a feeling of being flying at Incredibly fast speeds hit me. Memories overflow my brain as everything I've ever experienced, I experience again. No these aren't my memories? Faces I don't recognize names I don't know, I hear everything, see everything feel everything! Until finally silence.