Chapter 58: Schrödinger's Shizuo
Izaya had never really paid attention when it came to geometrics. It had been a subject of choice, nothing the students had to ace or give hard exams to.
It had been a lesson most used to study or finish tasks on other subjects.
Having done the very same Izaya now found himself cursing his ignorance as he moved back into the false safety of their school's walls.
Karisawa emerged from the direction of the cafeteria wearing the same uneasy expression.
They were checking for shadows. Quite like a game actually. Izaya had never really been fond of playing computer games or console ones, and yet right now he felt like he was looking at a 2D platformer searching for any obvious stepstones on the creature's route.
A large specimen of what used to be a poster advertising the school's approaching Christmas party had been moved aside by the two of them, as if conveniently casted a shadow leading right to the backdoor of their hideout.
But apart from that?
"Found anything?" Karisawa asked as she approached Izaya on his way up the stairs.
"Nothing too apparent."
Meaning, no zombies, no nightly creature's and no obvious shadows apart from nightfall that would create options for the monsters to attack them during the day.
Hand resting on the doorknob leading to the library, Izaya took a deep breath and cast a knowing glance towards the guilty girl.
A nod was given, and the door pushed open.
"Karisawa!"
Nothing had really changed inside the library, except for the fact that everyone had been sleeping when they left.
But that had been hours ago.
The shelf in front of the window had been cleared for more books as Kadota stood next to it, obviously looking out for the two of them.
It had been him who called Karisawa's name in a splurge of utter relief.
Quickly moving over he checked her up and down.
"Yo," the girl greeted hesitantly as she forced one of her usual smiles onto her expression. She was anything but convincing, but considering her nature of not wanting to worry her friends they probably took her attitude as just that. An assurance.
Namie and Vorona seemed slightly relieved as well. Same for Shinra, as he adjusted his glasses with a more genuine smile on his lips.
"Why did you take so long? Did something happen, are you two okay?" Kadota asked and Izaya quickly took the part of answering into his own hands as he moved over. "Of course we are, what did you expect?"
Revealing the vast variety of medics he quickly arranged them on top of the headmaster's desk.
More interested in their contents and less in their well-being Namie quickly moved over to inspect their newest assets.
Package after package was quickly picked and skimmed over as she raised her eyebrow in mild fascination.
"You hid all that?" Vorona asked similarly, impressed as she picked a large box of bandaids from the table.
Usually Izaya would be all up and about to tease the blonde about how preparation was everything in the world as it was right now, but right now his attention was glued to Kariswa and whether she could keep up her act.
"Be glad I'm sharing with you," he mumbled absentmindedly as he met the girl's glance shortly.
It was just a second that the two looked at each other, but Karisawa seemed to understand his worries as she briefly closed her eyes and nodded.
"With our luck he might as well have poisoned it." Namie argued as she sniffed one of the bottles as if she were able to tell by that action.
Unfreezing from her spot Karisawa quickly moved to Vorona to take the needed bandaids from her grasp.
"What good would it do to kill us?" she asked with a simple shrug as she headed to Kadota.
The wound had obviously started to bleed a little again as the white fabric was not so white anymore. "Shinra, could you help me please?" she requested and the doctor quickly moved over while preparing a new set of cleanse.
"What? Are you taking his side?" Namie seemed to be the only one still stuck on trying to badmouth Izaya in any way possible.
A soft smile spread across Izaya's lips as she was mostly ignored by not only himself and Karisawa, but even by her closest follower as Vorona moved over to help Shinra as well.
"Ah, perfect! Just what I needed!" Shinra interrupted the vengeful woman only further annoying her as she clicked her tongue.
Giving up on the spot she moved over to the headmaster's desk.
Apart from the medication that Izaya had brought, half of its space was occupied by various wires and pieces of metal.
All in front was some kind of dismantled plastic box with various screws.
"What is she doing?" Izaya asked.
Turning his head, as he was the only one who did not have to pay attention to his wound, Kadota glanced into Namie's direction. "She is trying to repair the radio," he informed quickly, "We might be able to catch low radio waves and listen to their commands that way."
Right.
The religious group.
In all this commotion, the run from the nightly creature, the new knowledge that they could learn and the fear of having Karisawa tell and have Shizuo abandoned had somehow overshadowed the fact that there was an entire group of psychotics priests after their lives.
Looking at the various metals present Izaya started to recognize a few parts.
"That's smart," he mumbled quietly, and picked the antenna from the desk.
It was probably the last part Namie needed to adjust if she even managed to get it working again.
Putting it back Izaya's gaze trailed over the room. It was lit in deep red by now.
A candle had been lit next to Namie as she needed a bit more light to continue her work.
Unease and the slightest hint of guilt befell Izaya as he looked towards the window and the setting sun.
In a few hours it would be dark. The nightly creatures would emerge from their shadows. They would search for blood, for living beings and they would learn- god knows what.
Stopping his gaze halfway to the wall, Izaya took a deep breath.
He hadn't looked at him.
Shizuo that is.
From the moment Izaya had set foot inside the library he had avoided looking at him.
He didn't even know why, but somehow the idea of glancing over and noticing that Shizuo's chest didn't rise anymore was worse than getting the relief of seeing that it did.
Shizuo was Schrödinger's cat.
Alive and dead at the same time- but as long as Izaya didn't look he would stay the exact same way.
Which was stupid of course.
Forcing his eyes towards the makeshift bed Izaya quickly held his breath.
Peaceful.
That's what he looked like. As if he were having a really nice nap on a gorgeous summer day. Red and orange turned Shizuo's hair into a fiery mane and smoothened his expression to an even more peaceful one.
Releasing the breath he had held Izaya spotted the craved motion of Shizuo's chest rising up and down.
He was alive.
Wordlessly Izaya moved over. The urge to just sit down and tell Shizuo what he had discovered outside suddenly overwhelmed him and his throat constricted. It was funny, Shizuo had been out of it for a day only and yet Izaya already missed hearing his voice. His stupid comments and worried words.
He even missed the way he would challenge every single decision Izaya took before following his advice anyway.
"He didn't happen to wake up, right?"
It was Karisawa who had asked the question and Izaya quickly took his distance from the sleeping blond once more.
He had no interest in revealing just how much he worried about the blond to everyone present.
"Not yet." Kadota replied solemnly, doing his utmost to avoid looking at Izaya while he spoke. He had always been quick on the uptake and so he was now as well.
"How about we leave and look for ways to secure the area?" Kariswa suddenly suggested, "Before the sun sets I mean."
Mild confusion spread through the group like a gush of fresh autumn wind as they all glanced at her.
"Secure? Is there any necessity for such an action?" Vorona asked warily and Izaya felt his guts plummet for a second.
She wasn't going to tell, right?
Quickly clearing her throat Karisawa shook her head.
"If that group finds us it would be bad right? So I thought about searching the principal's office for some keys to lock the doors."
Ah.
That was smart.
Smarter than Izaya had been. Busy with worry he had missed to notice the most obvious course of action to secure the area. But that wasn't the only reason he was impressed. By wording her request the way she did, she was trying to find a compromise in exchange of not telling everyone about what they saw.
Because locking the door wouldn't only keep the priests at bay.
The unpleasant heat of guilt suddenly spread in Izaya's chest.
Was it because he was looking at Shizuo? Or maybe because she resembled his sister?
He couldn't really tell. All he knew was the burning sensation that punished him for his thoughts.
He had thought about killing her.
There was no way to erase that fact.
How could he?
Izaya felt off. Out of it, out of his body in a really weird way. As if it weren't him steering it and controlling his actions.
What was wrong with him?
A soft glance was cast towards Shizuo and the guilt only tripled. Shizuo wouldn't approve.
The opposite. He would probably ask Izaya whether he had gone nuts and what the hell he was even talking about.
He was his sense of reason, really.
When had that changed? Izaya had been the one to keep Shizuo sane for the longest time, so how come it was now the other way round?
"Hey. Cockroach." Surprised by the newest nickname Namie had decided to give Izaya, he turned to glance at the woman.
A screwdriver was resting in her palm and she pointed towards the end of the desk.
Izaya had overlooked it earlier, but there was a set of two plates, filled with what seemed to be the rest of the curry Izaya had cooked.
Karisawa had already taken a seat and Shinra was finished patching Kadota back up.
Wow. His sense of time had to be really messed up if he didn't even notice he had been in thoughts for at least half an hour.
"Eat. I don't want Shinra to waste any time looking after your sorry ass too," Namie added further, adding her loving poisonous note to her request.
"Careful Namie, that almost sounded like you cared for my well-being," Izaya announced promptly and her eyes rolled in obvious annoyance.
No. Izaya wasn't stupid, she was probably dead serious.
As the murderer of her brother Izaya expected no less.
"About today's shift-" Kadota threw in as Izaya tasted the first spoonful of curry.
Quickly putting down her own cutlery Karisawa swallowed before raising her hand.
"I will take it."
Surprise as well as a hint of fear flashed in Izaya's eyes as he looked at her.
Too obvious-
"... are you sure? You have been out all day getting supplies. You must be tired, no?" Kadota asked, bringing the obvious issue to the topic.
Izaya knew why she wanted to take the shift- because she knew about the new danger radiating from the nightly creatures-
But she acted too open- too quick-
"No, no, I'm completely fine. Besides, you should get some rest so you can heal," she quickly added, trying to steer the conversation into a more favorable direction.
"Then I could assist you in your watch for once," Shinra suggested, but he was shut down even quicker than Karisawa had been as Namie snorted.
"The hell you do. You are the only doctor. What happens if any of us gets hurt and you are too tired to focus on treating us? Take some responsibility."
True.
Harsh maybe, but what she was saying made a lot of sense. All of them were capable of patching some minor wounds up, but only Shinra was able to treat injuries worse than a scratch.
"That's a bit harsh don't you think?" Kariswa added, but Namie merely shrugged as she continued fiddling with her radio.
"It's the truth. In this world as it is right now there is no room to pretend courtesy."
A soft sigh was given as Shinra gave in to the peer pressure. "Alright, I guess I count on you, Erika."
"I will stay up too." Izaya added, and the rest of the group seemed to relax as the topic was resolved.
"Whatever," Namie mumbled, for once not complaining as the setting was too favorable to have Izaya change his mind.
It was funny, just like that within a few seconds everyone was continuing what they were doing. Namie was trying to fix the radio, Shinra was apparently taking some kind of mental notice and what sort of medical instruments they had at hand while cleaning them and Vorona was reading in a book that talked about proficient techniques of self defense.
It was unreal and peaceful.
As if they were on a mere school trip splitting the roles and duties between them.
Izaya had never been fond of such trips and he was even less so right now as it provided a false sense of safety that he was not willing to yield to.
"He will wake up."
Startled, Izaya's head turned towards Karisawa.
Her eyes were gentle and her voice low- Izaya had been in thoughts of some sorts and she probably thought he was worrying about the blond.
This girl.
She was trying to cheer him up.
If she knew-
Nodding curtly, Izaya skipped on giving an answer.
She was dumb.
So, so dumb.
Silly. Gullable.
Just like Shizuo.
She expected no harm or danger from Izaya. But if Shizuo didn't wake up, what would she do?
… what would Izaya do?
Kill them all except for Shinra?
He didn't know.
All he knew was this hole in his stomach and all of a sudden his throat constricted too. The food he was eating suddenly seemed gross and plain.
Not because of the possible near events but because of a much worse idea.
Gray in gray the colors of the room faded into boring shades of unimportance.
… what would he do?
If Shizuo died…?
to be continued~
Hello my people! :3
So this week is a special one xD
I have not only returned to update all my stories, BUT I have also finalized the date my Trilogy is going to start xD
First week of December 2023 will be the release of Yultesra part 1/3!
For those who don't know, I have been working on a fantasy trilogy for the past 10+ years and now the time has finally come to get it published xD
And well… I decided to upload the book here xD
That's right, you will get the entire first book xD
Every Saturday you will get another chapter until the end of November and in the first week of December I will physically publish the first part of Yultesra :3
I know you will probably ask, huh, why upload it here? No one will buy it if one can read it for free online….?
And you are right xD
But the thing is apparently when self-publishing my books on amazon only people from England, Germany/Austria and America can actually purchase a physical copy so far. And I know from reader stats on fanfiction that there are a lot of other countries who read my works, Russia, Japan etc. and so I thought I just didn't want to exclude those people from the story :3
Also, I am not writing to become rich anyway xD
All in front I want people to enjoy the plots and stories I come up with, so if you want to support me and it's an available option in your country you can purchase my book, but if you can't that's also fine :3
I'm just as happy and content to read your lovely comments xD
The first Shizaya stories were written so badly- and yet you stayed xDDD Some of you have been following me for years, some even became my closest friends, and some might have just joined- welcome to those who just stumbled across my works haha
So this book is like a gift to you all, for having accompanied me for almost ten years in my writing journey xD
With that being said… Enjoy! xD