Chapter 105: Sunday Morning
'When I'm just an ugly bitch, a fucking freak and I don't wanna go on. I don't wanna leave my house cause I know everybody is staring at me now. Why the hell am I alive is what they think, they wanna take me down.'
-Ethel Cain, Hole in the Wall
Becca didn't feel nervous as she walked downstairs. She should've felt a tiniest bit of sadness or even fear, but she didn't have any of that. She's been through Hell so many times before. She's been abused, used and neglected.
Their words didn't mean anything compared to the evils bestowed upon her. There isn't anything they could do or say or her that hasn't been done before. The only opinions mattered were that of her family. They loved her and that's all she wanted or needed.
Joel opened up to her. There wasn't anything they knew about each other. Their skeletons, past and present. They knew each others' demons and what keeps them up at night. Neither shied away from the other. They weren't afraid of each other either. Everything was laid wide open. No more secrets.
The council could throw anything they wanted at them. They would remain together regardless. She was her mother's daughter.
Joel and Ellie were standing on the porch waiting for Becca. Matty was securely in Ellie's arms. They were dressed in their Sunday best. Becca kindly asked them to do so. She said she wanted to attend their toe hall meeting with their heads held high. They didn't have anything to be ashamed of.
Joel wasn't wearing a suit, but he wore his nicest pair of denim jeans and clean grey flannel. He even shined and polished his boots. He didn't think these son of a bitches were worth the effort, but this seemed to be important to Becca. He didn't want to let her down.
Ellie even agreed to wear her nicest clothes. Well, not without putting up a fight first. She wore the suit she wore to the Millers wedding sans the suit jacket. She even made sure their son looked dapper.
The screen door opened and Joel looked over his shoulder. His eyes widened when he saw her wearing one of her dresses. It was spaghetti strapped and low cut. It fell mid length but the material was so thin he could almost see the faint line of her rosy nipples. He could tell she wasn't wearing any underwear though.
He felt his cock twitch in his jeans at that. He couldn't help himself. He thought she was the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen. It wasn't just her outward beauty. It was her resiliency. He means what he said to her last night. Nothing she told him could ever change his feelings for her.
His eyes lowered and he smirked when he saw the brown cowboy boots on her feet. He got them made for her. He would never forget the look on her face when he gave them to her. She damn near broke his heart when she asked him what was so special about the day.
It wasn't for a birthday or anniversary. He just gave them to her because he loved her and wanted to see her happy. The smile on her face was enough for him.
He cupped her bare face in his hands and bent down to kiss her, whispering,'Why ya want us so gussied up, darlin?' He grinned,'Not that I mind seeing ya like this.'
'I just wanted them to see I'm not gonna let my family, David or anyone else let me win. It's like they expect me to lock myself in a room, start drawing on the walls and talking to air.' She sighed,'That was my mama. We should get going.'
Joel nodded silently as he looked over at Ellie,'Ya wanna ride on your own?'
'Not today.' She leaned over and gave Becca a small smile,'I wanna go with you.'
Tears filled her eyes and she smiled softly. She understood what she was doing. She was showing not just Becca, but everyone else they were a united front. They weren't putting on airs like everyone else. They actually loved each other.
'I was thinking about walking into town.' Becca nodded,'If that's alright with you.'
Ellie's eyes widened slightly and she nodded,'Of course it is. It's a nice day.' She shrugged,'I would like that.'
Joel took Matty out of Ellie's arms,'I'll ride him into town.'
Becca nodded and smiled gratefully. He was giving them some time alone. He understood them better than anybody. It's one of the very many reasons why she loved him so much.
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She couldn't help but feel nervous as they walked into town. She was grateful for Ellie though. She made her laugh and prattled on about school and her friends. She didn't talk about the town hall meeting.
There wasn't any council or 'trial' they had to worry about. No one was getting arrested nor hanged. They were all coming together to talk about the vandalism of a church. It so happened to include naked photos and video of her.
Story of her fucking life.
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Joel was already standing outside of the town hall with Matty in his arms. They talked about bringing Matty. They didn't know if it was a good idea or not. Ellie shut down their concerns in the morning. She said he was a Miller too and deserved to be there. He was almost three years old.
If Matty wanted a future in this town, they needed to show them they were a family true and true. They would be damned if they let the townsfolk chase them away considering everything they've done in this town.
Ellie looked up at Becca and gave her a small smile,'You okay?'
Becca nodded and took her hand, squeezing it tightly,'Yeah, I'm perfectly fine.' She sighed,'I don't think I'm gonna have a panic attack like that again.' She shrugged,'Even if I do, there's nothing to be done about it. It's not as if this town doesn't think I'm crazy already. They already think I'm some kind of witch anyway.'
Ellie laughed and shook her head. She was proud of her. She was taking this all in stride. It was a far cry from the woman she first met. It took awhile for her to build herself back up, but she managed to do it.
'I don't care.' Ellie squeezed her hand,'What ya did before the outbreak or didn't do.' She shrugged,'All that matters is the Becca, the…mama I know now.'
Becca's eyes widened as tears filled them. She knew Ellie didn't care about her salacious past, but to hear it affirmed again made her feel loved and appreciated. This is what mattered. Fuck everyone else.
She bent down and kissed Ellie on top of her head,'Let's get this show on the road.'
Ellie nodded silently and sighed softly as they walked over to Joel and Matty.
Becca took Matty in her arms as Joel wrapped an arm around her, kissing the top of her head. She hugged Matty to her and kissed all over his face. She always wanted to be a mother; but thought it wasn't attainable to her. She never thought she would have two children. Maybe even one more. She would leave that one up to fate.
Joel kept a firm arm around her shoulders while Ellie stood on her other side,'Betsy, Maria are in there with the kids. They said they were saving ya a seat.'
She nodded and swallowed harshly. She couldn't lie. She was felt a twinge of anxiety when they stepped through the doors. She was only human after all.
Joel didn't ask her if she was worry or scared. He wouldn't ask her that anymore. It would be too disrespectful. She could handle her own. Just like the pistol she kept tucked on her thigh. She remembered the last time she ended up on this town hall.
She wasn't about to make the same mistakes twice.
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Becca took a deep breath as they walked into the town hall. She remembered the last time she was here. All of the townsfolk bunkered down in the town hall, until bombs were thrown and they were all shot at.
She had been heavily pregnant with Mateo. They truly thought they weren't going to make it this time around. They thought God couldn't save them. They saved themselves though. They fought back relentlessly. They lost a lot of good people that day.
Lizzie, Harold and…Tommy in some small way. She never blamed him for his actions. They were similar in a lot of ways. They were both brainwashed by a cult. Their beliefs weren't their own, but an amalgamation of someone's tyrannical and archaic belief system.
L. Ron Hubbard always said,'You don't get rich by writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion.'
'The only way to control people is to lie to them.'
Now she understood why Francis looked up that man so much. He called Hitler a progressive genius. Jackson had been nothing more than a prison.
Everyone's eyes were on them as the Millers made their way to their seats. Maria and Betsy welcomed Becca with open arms. The older women stared all them all defiantly. They made it clear Becca was family and wasn't going anywhere.
Betsy took Matty from them and placed them in her lap. Just in case his parents were…summoned. Ellie took a seat next to Abby as they waited for the meeting to begin.
Joel placed his arm over the back of his wife's chair and leaned into her, whispering,'Why ya think they're making us wait?' He sighed,'Got more important things to do than PTA meetings and shit.'
She looked up at him and smirked, crossing her arms over her chest,'Good thing Matty isn't going to a real school then.'
'Still PTA meetings.' He frowned,'El has a few. I ended up not being allowed back.'
She smiled to herself, remembering all the times she would have to fill in for Joel. He couldn't control his filthy mouth. She knew when and where to be a lady. Some of the teachers around here took things too seriously. She was sure some of them didn't finish high school hefore the outbreak. That's neither here nor there.
She was thankful for the distraction though. The longer and longer they waited, the more anxious she got. They were probably gonna read them to rights.
All of the sudden, Mayor Roberta walked into the room. Maria planned on being Mayor, but after losing Tommy she didn't want to leave Seb alone. She wanted to raise him right and devote as much time to him as she could.
Roberta was perfect for the job though. She's been in this town for only ten years, but used to be a lawyer like Maria. She was a defense attorney and was supposedly quite good at it. Maria trusted her guidance. Becca trusted Maria's judgments.
Then again, she did marry Tommy.
Roberta stepped up to the podium as she looked around the room, meeting Becca's gaze directly. Becca didn't let her gaze waver and kept her head held high. She could feel her husband slide his hand in hers, tangling their fingers together.
She held onto his hand tightly and he brought their clasped hands into his lap. Their wedding rings gleamed brightly on their fingers. There wasn't anymore hiding them on necklaces anymore or keeping their union under wraps. Fuck them.
Roberta's eyes scanned the room as she stared down at her notes. Some people started standing up and shouting all at once.
She held up her hands to silence everyone and sighed exasperatingly,'Now I understand why everyone is a little…upset.'
Becca's eyes widened incredulously. Their upset?
As if reading her mind, Joel snorted and rolled his eyes,'It wasn't your images all over the church house now, was it, Ruth?'
He couldn't help the sarcasm dropping from his tone. Ruth was a sixty five year old bitty who couldn't keep her mouth shut. She judged everyone, like she never opened her legs a time or two. He kept those comments to himself.
Becca looked up at Joel and smiled gratefully. She appreciated him having her back, but this is something she needed to face herself as well. If she didn't then she would never be able to move on.
She untangled her hand from Joel and stood up, looking around at the towns folk,'No offense, but I think I have more of a right to be angry than anyone else.' She sighed and shook her head,'I apologize if those images…offended you, but I had a life before this started. I'm sure all of you did too. There's nothing I can do to change it.' She shrugged,'That's all of an explanation you're getting.'
Joel's chest huffed with pride. His woman wasn't apologizing for anything she's done.
Roberta nodded as she kept Becca's gaze,'No one is judging your past, Miss Ben-Miller. We're just trying to understand why the church.'
'I think you all know why.' She sighed and shook her head, glaring over at Ruth,'You and your friends wanna sit there and judge me. Go ahead. I know for a fact a lot of you do stuff you aren't proud of. Before or after the outbreak.'
'It's been chaos ever since you came here!'
Becca sighed as she heard someone shout from the back. She didn't recognize the voice, but it could've been any one of them,'Yeah, with the council running everything like the Stepford Wives and with Area 51 right underneath your noses…literally. Yeah, I'm the danger ya have to worry about. Me and my family helped you during the chaos or do you forget that? We laid our lives down for this town.'
Ellie nodded as she stood up and glared around at the crowd,'My girlfriend died for you people.' She smirked at some of the shocked expressions on their faces,'Yeah girlfriend like kissing with tongues and…other stuff.'
There were children present and she needed to watch her mouth.
Becca bit back a grin. She really loved that girl,'What I did before the outbreak isn't anyone's business. I was surprised as you about my grandfather. There's a lot I learned about myself that day too.'
Roberta nodded as she lifted up the Manila folded in her hands,'Any reason or how they got ahold of these?'
Joel narrowed his eyes as he got up from his chair and walked up to Roberta. A few of the deputies hesitantly took a step forward to stop him, but Roberta held her hand up. She was curious herself about what he was going to say or do.
He yanked the folded out of her hands and glared at her,'You don't need a copy of these. Y'all ain't fucking detectives.' He turned around to the crowd,'And if I find out any of you.'
He narrowed his eyes, trying to meet the eyes of every male he could present in the room. Along with some of the females (that he knew of anyway),'And I mean any of ya been passing around any of these. I'll fucking kill ya. I'll slit your throats. Try me.'
Ellie and Becca's eyes met in surprise. Ellie suddenly regretted not letting the crowd know what her and Lizzie really got up to. He wasn't joking. He meant business.
He took out a lighter and held the envelope up. He grinned almost in mirth as he flicked the lighter and set the corner of the envelope to flame. He watched in amusement as the folder lit up in flames.
He laughed as he threw the burning envelope to the floor. One of the deputies threw water on it, causing it to simmer out. One of the deputies kept stomping on it for good measure.
Becca looked up at Joel. She was used to his passionate displays of affection. This is how he showed his love. By protecting his people.
He looked down at the mushy ash and shrugged,'I swear to God I'll do that to anyone who has a photo of my wife. And I mean anyone.'
'No one was thinking of doing that.' Roberta looked at Joel exasperatingly,'No more fires in the town hall. Please. We just ended up fixing it.'
Joel snorted and nodded,'You mean me and my buddies is what ya mean.' He couldn't help the disdain in his tone,'For almost ten years me and my family done did everything ya asked and more. My wife was almost killed. She defended this town pregnant with our son. She-'
He was fuming as she placed her hand on his arm and squeezed it comfortingly,'It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to these people.'
He took a deep breath to calm himself down, focusing on his wife's soothing touch. He wanted to rip them apart. She didn't falter though. She was more composed than him.
'You want to kick me outta this town?' Becca scoffed,'Go ahead, but as long as there's an outbreak, trouble is gonna come knocking.'
Ruth sneered at her disdainfully and gave her a look of contempt,'You were wanted by the law. A fugitive and a prostitute. A drug addict.' Her eyes widened,'You were no better than Marjorie. How do we know you're not servicing people in this town? Selling drugs?'
Becca rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest,'Yeah and Joel's my pimp.'
It took everything in him not to walk over there and punch her lights out. Even if she was a contentious little old lady. She was so much more than her past. He wished they could fucking see that.
Despite his anger, he kept his composure and his mouth shut. She kept her hand on his arm, squeezing it again to let him know she was handling this. She could handle a little old lady.
Another one of Ruth's friend stood up and shouted,'You weren't even a nurse! You took care of us without training! You coulda killed us.'
'She didn't.' Maria narrowed her eyes and sighed. She was sick of sitting here and listening to these lazy nobodies bitch and moan,'She got field training, which is a hell of a lot more important then sitting in a damn classroom. Sharon trained her and as much of a psycho she ended up being. She was the best nurse I've ever seen. Becca knows what she's doing.' She shook her head,'Before you know about her past and Francis. You all thought very highly of her. You voted to bring her back. Theres never happened in the history of Jackson.'
Betsy nodded chimed in,'She's right. If it wasn't for her a lot of you wouldn't be alive. Joel rebuilt this town while working on his farm. Never asking for a penny.'
'Y'all don't have to accept my wife's…decisions she's made in life.' Joel shrugged,'She's here to stay. As long as I'm living and breathing. I used to be a Firefly and a Raider.' He snorted,'Hell, I used to be a drug addict and alcoholic too.' He smirked as he saw the surprised looks on their faces,'I'm five years sober. If it weren't for my wife, I wouldn't have made it through that. As a nurse and partner. We handled it at our farm. It didn't have anything to do with you.'
'Joel's right.' Maria sighed,'Tommy used to be a Firefly and you let him in.'
'Yeah.' Ruth snorted,'We all know how that turned out.'
Maria narrowed her eyes and almost forgot she was an old lady, but Ellie gently grabbed her shoulders, holding her back.
Becca felt the warm flourish within her chest. She knew Maria and Betsy were putting their necks out on the line for her. They didn't have to do that, but she loved them for it. She always would.
Joel glared at the forty some year old man sitting next to Ruth and pointed at him,'I ain't punching your mama, but I can punch you. Next time she opens her mouth. You're getting laid out…' He tried to remember his name, but couldn't for the life of him.
He was snapping his fingers as Becca whispered,'Josh.'
Joel rolled his eyes and snorted,'Josh. Of course that's his name.'
He turned back to the scared younger man,'Keep your mama in line. Or I'm laying ya out. Got that, Joshua?'
Josh's eyes widened and he visibly gulped. He heard all the stories Tommy recounted about Joel's ruthlessness. He witnessed with his own eyes what he's capable of. He wanted to live see another birthday.
'Of course.' Josh nodded,'Yeah.' He placed his hand on his mama's shoulder,'Calm down.'
Ruth glanced at his words. She seemed embarrassed being chastised in front of her own son.
Roberta sighed and shook her head,'Now everyone, calm down. We're letting our emotions get the best of us. No one is kicking anyone out or blaming anybody. We're just trying to have a civil conversation. We've done enough fighting.'
Becca crossed her arms over her chest and frowned,'Why did you even ask us to come here?'
Roberta took a moment of deliberation as she stared down at the notepad in front of her,'I had a beautiful speech laid out about unity and prosperity.' She shrugged sheepishly,'I was hoping we could discuss who's behind this with…civility.'
'Yeah. Okay.' Joel snorted,'Have you met these people?' He met Roberta's gaze,'Are we done here? I got a farm to run. Ya can best believe we're gonna figure out who's behind this.' He looked around the room, smiling sweetly,'Always so nice to catch up with everyone. Truly. Seems like the only time ya want anything to do with my wife is when ya want something or wanna harass her. Leave me and mine alone. I'm done saying it.' He took Becca's hand and turned to Ellie,'Get your brother and let's get the hell outta here.'
Ellie scooped Matty out of Betsy's arms and followed her parents down the aisle.
Before they walked out of the town hall, Becca turned to them and smirked,'I forgot to tell y'all. Me and the old man are gonna renew our vows next Sunday. I do hope y'all come.'
She pulled on Joel's hand and led him out of the church. He looked confused as they walked out of the town hall,'Next Sunday, huh?' He grinned,'Were ya gonna ask me first?'
She squeezed his hand and grinned,'You already asked me a long time ago.' She jerked her head towards the church house,'I wanna get married there.'
His eyes widened as he followed her line of sight and shook his head confusingly,'Are ya sure about that?'
'Yeah.' She nodded with a determined look on her face,'Oh yeah. I want it done right this time. And I want everyone to know that I have a right to love and live here just like anybody else. When we leave for Silver Lake, I wanna have our vows renewed.'
He rubbed her back as he kissed the top of her head,'We'll do it anywhere ya want. I'll marry ya inside a fucking volcano.'
She laughed softly and rested her head on his arm. She didn't know why it was so important to her. Maybe she wanted to prove in the eyes of God she worthy. Maybe she wanted to prove it to herself. A small part of herself still had faith and still believed. She wanted to know what it would feel like to marry the love of her life inside a church house.
They let Ellie take Matty to the playground with Abby for a little bit, giving the parents some time alone.
Joel let Ellie have the horse as they walked hand in hand back to the farm.
They were silent for awhile until she looked at the barn on the distance, where they were married,'I think I wanna get married in he church house cause each time I married Ben and David it was in…a church. They didn't end well, but you're the man I know I was supposed to marry. There's no doubt in my mind about that. I wanna know what it's like to marry you in the church.'
He nodded and smiled softly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders,'Ya wanna know what it feels like?' He waited for her to nod in affirmation ,'Ya think it'll feel any different?'
'I don't know.' She shrugged,'Maybe. Maybe it won't. But I need to know.'
He grinned as he pulled her close to his side,'Well, I'll be there, darlin. Ya can count on that.'
Becca didn't have to respond for she knew he would be.
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When they got back to the house, the first thing they did was check on the animals and made sure everything was as it should be. They never knew what someone might do.
Becca went back to the house to change. She couldn't very well tend to a farm in a dress.
Joel walked into their bedroom and stood in the doorway, smirking when he looked over at her. She was bent over and had her left leg on the bed with her pistol strapped to her inner thigh. He watched her hands, mesmerized as she unstrapped the gun out of its holster.
She was still wearing her dress and the way she was bent over had her dress hiked up. He licked his lips as his eyes were fixed on her bare ass. His cock twitching to life in his trousers. He already unbuttoned and unbuckled them as he walked up the steps. He felt confined in his dress pants, but he wore them for her. He would do anything for her.
He couldn't help by be turned on by her. He always thought attraction wore off after you got married. The excitement wore off there was nothing else to look forward to. At least it felt that way witnessing his parents' marriage and his union to Esther.
When he married Becca, he was afraid the flame would diminish and they would fall into a comfortable routine. He could've never been more wrong. If anything, his attraction to her for stronger. He thought there was something wrong with him. He didn't think it was normal to lust over someone so much it bordered on obsession.
He talked about it with his therapist. He listened carefully and then laughed off his concerns. He said what he was feeling isn't obsession. It's love and there's nothing wrong with showing devotion and affection to someone you're in love with.
This is the first time he's ever truly given himself to someone. Mind, body and soul. She knew every facet of who he is. Just as he knew all of hers. They were still so in love. All the people who tried to tear them apart failed so miserably. They paid for it with their lives.
They weren't running anymore. They realized their time on this Earth shouldn't be taken for granted. It was borrowed.
They didn't want to waste any minute or second without each other.
Harold and his widow were only married for two years before he was tragically killed. They both lost their previous partners to the outbreak. They lost so much, only for her to lose another husband to just an ordinary man behind a gun. How fucking ironic.
He didn't want to be Harold. He didn't to leave Becca a widow. He didn't want to leave her at all.
He decided to let her know he was here, watching her like the lecherous son of a bitch he is.
She heard his heavy footsteps creaking underneath the hardwood floor. She peered over her shoulder at him, smirking when as she watched him take his dress shirt off and throw it on the floor. Her breath hitched in her throat when he slid his t shirt over his head and threw it on the floor along with it.
'What I tell ya about leaving your clothes on the floor?' She felt her heart skip a beat at the devastating smile he gave to her.
He walked over to stand behind her as his eyes looked her over,'Baby girl, ya gotta forgive a man. I come up here, all innocent like to change outta my monkey suit.'
He clicked his tongue and grasped her hips, pulling her ass flush against his crotch. He pressed his crotch against her ass and bit his bottom lip when he heard her sharp intake of breath.
'I see my gorgeous and sexy wife's ass. I lose my train of thought.' He smirked,'Only so many thoughts can run through a man's mind at once.'
She almost felt like crying when she felt his hands run up and down her thighs, almost in reverence. She knew what he was doing. She could feel it in his touch. He could tell her a million times nothing's changed, but he understood she needed more. She needed to feel it.
Joel wanted her to see he still saw that fierce and intelligent woman he fell in love with. None of those filthy men appreciated everything about her. She was so much more than a body. She was funny, warm and passionate. She loved with her entire soul.
He's had her in so many ways, but it never seemed to be enough. He always discovered something new about her.
She was so much more than the sum of her parts. When he looked at her; he saw his wife, his life partner, a strong willed woman and incredible mother.
He looked over at the full length mirror propped up against the wall. He reluctantly let go of her and walked over to the mirror, situating it so she could have full view of what he wanted to do to her. She needed to see for herself what he saw, what he craved and yearned for. Even when he was too afraid to put a name on it.
Becca shook her head confusingly as he gently gripped her hips and turned them around to face the mirror. He silently urged her to stand up straight and she complied, wondering what in the hell he was up to.
He slowly guided her over to the mirror. He stood behind her as he smoothed her dress down her sides. He slowly ran his hands over her stomach, relishing in the way her muscles contracted against his hands. Her skin was so supple and smooth.
He buried his face in her neck and breathed in the fresh clean scent of her. His eyelids fluttered at the smell of her. She was the only one who could wreck soothe his calm.
She could feel his hot breath against her skin. His large hands seared her skin. She could feel the ridges of his workers hands through the thin material of her dress. She leaned the entire length of her body back against him and bit her bottom lip as she felt his impressive erection through his trousers.
He looked into the mirror at her and his eyes widened at the euphoric look on her face. Her eyes were half lidded with lust and she was biting her bottom lip. He heard her muffle groans as she pouted and his knees almost buckled from the intensity of emotions he felt for this woman.
He lifted her long hair to the side to kiss the back of her neck, whispering roughly,'Look at yourself, baby. See what I see.'
His voice was huskiness with desire and emotion. She could hear the cracking of his voice, the simmering of desire he was desperately trying to hold back for the moment.
She kept her eyes averted downward. No one's ever asked her to do this before. While Ben and David humiliated her body for pleasure in many ways, this was wholly different. She's never been one for self affirmations. She didn't think this was his style either.
No one would believe her that he could be gentle. They saw his gruffness and rough exterior, thinking he was just an asshole with a gun that gets the job done. He may be those things to others on the outside, but he was tender with her. He wasn't afraid to be vulnerable.
He would seek comfort in her arms when he woke up drenched in sweat after a brutal nightmare. He would sometimes sob in her arms, pleading and begging for Sarah to come back. To forgive him for not being able to protect her. For Charlie. She held him when he grieved for Tommy. She didn't judge him when he grieved the loss of Tess. For the second time. He could've left after she killed Tess, but he didn't. Even when he resented her for it.
He showed her more tenderness and care than anyone had shown her entire life. When she first got to Jackson, he checked on her for an entire week. He didn't have to do that, but he did it anyway. Maria said he was a pain in everyone's ass that entire week.
Maria kidded he was in love back then. It just took awhile for him to finally realize it. He couldn't understand it to put a name on it.
She shook her head and laugh slightly,'I know what I look like, Joel.'
He hummed softly as his hands skimmed over her chest as he ran the backs of his hands down her arms,'Do ya now? Cause from where I'm standing I'm looking at a damned fine looking woman.' He kissed the back of her neck, flicking his tongue out quickly to taste her skin,'Inside and out. Way I see it, darling. I'm your first for everything.' Tears filled his eyes as he swallowed the lump in his throat,'Ya should be proud of yourself and the way ya stood up for yourself today in front of our kids. Look at yourself, baby.'
She shook her head and sighed, whispering,'I can't.'
He frowned and leaned over her to gently cup her face with one hand. He slowly lifted her head to look directly in the mirror. He held her head up, his thumb running over her bottom lip,'Look at that fuckin beautiful woman.' His eyes bore into hers intensely through the mirror, his pupils blown black with arousal,'Ya ain't nothing like Majorie. She didn't feel nothin like ya.'
He shook his head as he took a deep breath to control his anger,'You're a damned privilege to wake up to every morning.' He couldn't help the tears that formed in his eyes,'If I woulda met ya before the outbreak. It wouldn't mattered then either. I woulda wanted ya as soon as I laid eyes on ya. I sure as hell wouldn't pay for it either. I woulda earned it. Take ya out proper and show ya off. Fuck those pieces of shit hiding you away.' His fingers gently dug into her cheeks, but he wasn't hurting her.
He wanted to make sure she didn't bolt, but he knew she wasn't going anywhere. She had tears in her falling from her eyes, but he wouldn't stop. She needed to hear this. He knew the town hall meeting did a number on her. She was resilient, but also a human being with feelings.
He pushed down the anger for another day. He slid his free hand down the front of her dress and cupped her right tit. He squeezed it and she pushed her ass back against his cock, making his eyes roll in pleasure.
He smirked as he pushed against her, groaning slightly. She tried to close her eyes, but he clicked his tongue, turning her head back to the mirror,'Ya stop looking and I stop touching.'
By the look on his face she knew he was serious. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath, staring into the mirror at them. Her eyes widened as she watched him. He was staring at her intently through the mirror. His long hair was falling into his eyes and his eyes were darker than she's ever seen them.
She chewed pensively on her bottom lip and moaned slightly as he groped her other tit. She couldn't help but grind her ass against his crotch, hoping to distract him, but he seemed adamant on following through with this. Once he was on a mission, she knew better than to stop him.
He took his hand out from the front of her dress and slid it under her dress, gripping her thigh. He spread her legs apart with his knee and moaned low in his throat. He could feel the heat of cunt and the smell of her arousal assaulted his senses.
He kissed her neck, gently sucking and biting into her skin. He wanted to leave marks. He wanted to show all of Jackson this was his woman. He wasn't ashamed of her. He would take one of her over the countless nameless women he's fucked in the past.
'Fuckin sexy ass woman.' He whispered into her skin. He cupped her pussy, sucking hard on her skin when he felt how soaked she is for him,'Look at how I fuckin love ya. I ain't a praying man, Rebecca, but every goddamned day I thank whomever gave me this. At least before I die I'll know what it's like to know real love. Ya gave me that. That doesn't compare to nothin. Nothin they say's gonna change that.'
He took his hand off her face and placed it on her lower back, 'Brace your hands against the mirror, 'Gonna make ya watch while I fuck ya. Gonna fuck ya so good, baby girl. Been thinkin about this ever since ya in that dress.'
Her eyes widened back at him in the mirror,'Ya want me to keep it on?'
'Yeah.' He nodded as he gently bent her over slightly,'Ya got me hard just by smiling at me.'
She did as she was told, bracing her hands against the mirror. Her heart was pounding in anticipation. No one's ever done anything like this with her. They only cared about their own pleasure.
He unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers and quickly pulled them down his legs along with his boxers. He kicked them off hurriedly as he gripped his cock. He met her gaze in the mirror and gave her a smirk as he stroked his cock. He teasingly slid along the slit of her pussy, letting his precum mixed with her wetness.
She stared at him curiously in the mirror with fascination. She gasped when she felt him drag the length of his cock up and down her slit. She bucked against him and whined slightly, silently begging for him to get inside her.
He grinned at her impatience as he teasingly slid just the tip of him inside her,'Pussy already feels so good. So tight. So hot.'
With his free hand, hiked her dress up at her waist and kept it bunched up in his tight closed fist. Her body was shaking with lust and excitement of what was coming. She used to always dread having sex. She saw it as a chore rather than for pleasure. It didn't feel that way with him.
'You're the first person other than myself to make me…cum.' She felt her cheeks redden as his eyes widened in surprise,'I couldn't do it with…any of them. I was in my thirties before a guy gave me my first orgasm. I thought I was gonna die before it happened.'
She averted her eyes away from the mirror, feeling unsure all of the sudden, but he shook his head,'Don't ya dare. Ya got nothin to feel ashamed about, Bec. Do ya know what that means to me? That ya trust me with this beautiful body?'
He slowly slid himself inside her inch by inch, not wanting to torture either one of them anymore. He bent his knees as his bottomed out inside her, causing them both to let out a loud groan.
He buried his face in her neck as he gripped her hips and pulled her hips back against his. She tried to buck back against him, but he pressed his hips firmly against her own, trapping her against his strong body and the mirror.
He took his hands off her hips as he ground himself against her. She appreciated he didn't treat her any differently. He knew all there is to know about her, but didn't handle her with kid gloves. He was fucking her hard and so so good. He wasn't holding himself back and treating her like glass.
She needed this. Not just the sex, but the reassurance to know she was in control of her body now. She chose him.
He wrapped one of his hands around both her arms, pinning them above her head. His other hand roamed all over her body, grasping and groping any part of her he could. He reveled in the sounds of her moans and the slick sound of her cunt as he fucked her hard and fast.
The mirror banged against the wall with the force of his thrusts. He grunted against her neck with exertion, whispering raggedly,'So fuckin beautiful. Look at ya.'
His voice was rough and almost animalistic. She stared in the mirror at them, seeing his naked body pressed up against hers. Her dress was bunched up her waist as she relished in the sounds of his moans.
He could feel himself getting close and hurriedly slid his hand between their legs. He angled his hips, knowing exactly how she liked as he rubbed her clit. He wanted to make sure she came before he did. Always the gentleman.
She screamed as she came and he tightly wrapped his arm around her waist as her knees buckled from the strength of her orgasm. He kept fucking her hard through her orgasm, feeling her juices squirt all over his cock.
His eyes widened as she almost fell down to her knees. He saw tears falling down her cheeks, but he knew she wasn't hurt. The blissed out look on her features told him all he needed to know.
He let out a choked sound as he came. He leaned his hands against the mirror, caging her in as he came so hard his knees almost buckled. It took all the strength he had not to slump over her.
He rested his forehead against the back of her neck, kissing her sweat drenched skin. He leaned over her as she leaned up and kissed him slowly and languidly. He moaned into her mouth as their tongues slowly tangled together. She tasted so good.
Those fuckers didn't know how good they had it.
'Thank you.' He whispered shakily as he tightly wrapped his arm around her waist, hugging her from behind as he regained his breathing.
She leaned back against him as she stared at him in the mirror, smiling softly. She wouldn't ask him who he was talking to her or not. He did that sometimes. He made a comment and she often wondered what ghost he was speaking to today. She never asked. A person is allowed to have some sanctity in their life.
They heard the front door open and slam. Ellie's voice booming throughout the otherwise empty house had them both laughing. The kids were back home. The peace and tranquility disrupted. They wouldn't have it any other way.
(Up next. Becca and Joel renew their vows. A surprise guest? Nobody back from the dead again. This ain't a soap opera )