Chapter 39 – An Overstayed Welcome
"You found him where?" growled Bruce, slowly sitting up in bed.
"The Batcave, sir," Alfred replied calmly.
Bruce said nothing as he stood. Careful not to disturb Selina, he led the two other men out into the hall, where he turned his darkest, most fearsome scowl toward Carmine. Now, at last, a healthy measure of fear crossed the ex-mafia king's eyes. Bruce continued to silently bore a hole through Carmine's head, waiting for him to speak first. He didn't have to wait long.
"W-what do you expect?" Carmine feebly argued. "There's a secret door, and I'm not supposed to be curious where it goes?"
Bruce loomed a few fractions of an inch closer. Carmine tried to retreat an equal distance, bumping into a stone-faced Alfred behind him.
"Look, if it's an apology you want, I'm sorry!" spat Carmine. "I promise it won't happen again."
"You've got that right," Bruce eyed his father-in-law's neck, calculating the risks vs. benefits of briefly strangling him. Thinking better of it, he addressed Alfred next. "Did he access the computer?"
"Not from the looks of things. I seem to have found him within a few minutes of entering," replied Alfred.
"It's true," Carmine attested. "Only had enough time to admire the bigger stuff. How much did you pay for that Jurassic Park prop, anyway?" he tried to joke.
His attempt was poorly received. In the blink of an eye, Bruce pinned him against the wall with one hand, just one inch below his neck.
"Do really think it's in your best interest to taunt me?" Bruce demanded. "Knowing what you know now – what I'm capable of? How many times will you tempt fate tonight?"
Alfred glanced anxiously at the bedroom door. "Master Bruce, try to keep your voice down, or you'll wake –"
Bruce barely heard the butler. "I've had a hell of a year, Carmine. The last thing I need is some has-been criminal selling my secret to the media."
"I-I wasn't… I hadn't planned on…" stammered Carmine.
"That's only because Alfred caught you before you had time to plan anything!" Bruce retorted. "But let me make myself perfectly clear: if you so much as entertain the idea for one second, I'll tie you to the top of the Empire State Building and tell all your old friends where they can find you."
Straining against Bruce's grip, Carmine knew he wasn't bluffing. His attempts to break free were a lesson in futility. But then, abruptly, he stopped struggling. He looked past Bruce at something – or someone – standing behind him.
"Ah, Selina dear!" greeted Carmine delightedly. "Right on time."
Before Selina could utter any words to match her horrified expression, Louisa joined the crowd from the other end of the hall. The situation was rapidly devolving into a soap opera scene.
"Carmine!" cried Louisa, aghast at Bruce's brutal stance against her husband. "What in heaven's name is going on?!"
"Yes, what exactly is going on, Bruce?" Selina implored.
Clenching and unclenching his jaw a few times, Bruce released his hold on Carmine without warning. Carmine staggered away from the wall, trying to swiftly regain his pride.
"Your father discovered the Batcave," Bruce answered his wife without looking at her. "He knows."
Selina split her gaze between the two of them, unsure of whom to be more upset with.
"Knows what?" Louisa asked, highly agitated.
Bruce nodded once at Alfred, who answered for him. "Madame Louisa, your son-in-law isn't just a businessman who owns Wayne Enterprises," the butler revealed. "He is, in fact, Batman."
Under other circumstances, Louisa would've been inclined to think Alfred was pulling her leg. But given the tension in that hallway, the harsh measures Bruce was found threatening Carmine with, and the way the dim lighting cast shadows on Bruce's face and torso… there was no denying it. The truth stood grim and raw before her.
Pale and stunned almost to the point of being speechless, Louisa stared unblinkingly at everyone. Perhaps she was waiting to see if she'd wake up from this bizarre dream. But as the minutes ticked by and that didn't happen, she forced herself to embrace reality.
"Selina… you knew this when you married Bruce?" Louisa asked in disbelief.
Selina offered a mournful look. "Yes."
"And your children…" Louisa's lip trembled as she stared at Selina's belly. "They'll know, too."
The weight of those three words fell heavily on Selina's shoulders. "Yes," she said again, looking down.
Astutely reading between their lines, Carmine dared to speak up. "It sounds to me like there are bigger issues here than my snooping around tonight."
Bruce's terrible eyes landed on him in an instant. "Don't you dare say another word."
Selina reached for Bruce's arm, hoping to deescalate things. "Bruce, is it really worth staying angry about? They're my parents. We were going to have to tell them eventually anyway."
"Eventually, yes," he specified. "That's the key – eventually. Not within hours of meeting them for the first time!"
"What difference does it make? Now, or six months from now?" she pleaded.
"It's the difference between waiting to receive your gifts at Christmas, like a decent human being, or sneaking around until you find their hiding spot and peeking at them early."
"Maybe, but what's done is done," Selina rationalized.
Bruce placed both fists on his hips, unrelenting. "And what's in people's nature is set in stone, clearly. A leopard doesn't change his spots, and sorry to say, Selina… your father hasn't changed his either."
"Excuse me?" Louisa stepped closer. "How dare you make such a judgment! Just because Carmine did what any other guest would do after seeing a secret passage –"
"Did you go into that secret passage, Louisa?" Bruce interjected.
She blinked, nonplussed. "Well, no, obviously not, but–"
"No, you didn't. You had the decency to respect the privacy of your hosts. Those who offered you hospitality in spite of some very unusual circumstances," Bruce moralized. "Your husband, on the other hand, showed a serious lack of integrity. And in so doing, proved that he's not half as 'reformed' as he claims to be."
Sensing what was coming next, Louisa begged. "Bruce, please, don't let this ruin things between us! I've waited so long to find Selina again, and with the babies coming soon –"
"I want you both out. Now." Bruce pointed his arm like an arrow toward the stairs.
Selina and Louisa's plaintive words fell on deaf ears as Bruce turned away, disappearing to some distant corner of the manor to sulk. No sooner did he vanish than Alfred appeared with the Falcones' bags fully packed. Amid the fraught proceedings, no one had noticed the butler slip away in anticipation of his master's eviction decree.