I, Brobot
by Gary D. Snyder
Chapter 1:
At the same time that Eustace was preparing his plans, Jimmy was in the Candy Bar absorbed in research and trying to ignore Sheen and Carl's interruptions.
"Hey, Jimmy! Can we go mini-golfing on Mercury today?"
Jimmy didn't even look up from the small device on which he had been concentrating. "No, Sheen."
"Well, how about going to South America and looking for new breeds of llamas?" suggested Carl.
"No, Carl."
"Use the Game Pyramid?"
"Nope."
"Visit Shangri-Llama?"
"Sorry."
"Can't we even go back to the Dark Ages to light matches and predict eclipses and pretend we're gods and stuff?" pleaded Sheen.
"Absolutely not."
Sheen threw himself backward on the padded bench. "But I'm bored!" he complained.
"And I'm bored that he's bored," added Carl.
"Then why don't you work on that make-up exam that Miss Fowl gave us because we missed the geography test a couple weeks ago?" Jimmy suggested. "That should keep you occupied for a while."
"Because I want to stop being bored." Sheen pulled himself upright in the booth to drop his elbows on the table and rest his chin in his hands. "There are plenty of things around to keep me bored."
Jimmy stopped manipulating the gadget in his hand to address them directly. "Sheen, you're not really bored. Your mind's inherent inability to focus on a specific subject for more than a few minutes at a time is simply fostering an illusory lack of interest and causing you to promulgate an exaggerated sense of ennui."
Carl stared blankly at Jimmy, his mouth agape, while Sheen simply blinked. "Okay, now I'm bored."
"I'm just saying," Jimmy explained patiently, "that just sitting around complaining about being bored is going to make you think that you're bored no matter how you really feel."
"Well, I'd rather not just sit around," replied Sheen in a good parody of Jimmy's careful diction, "but a certain genius won't let us do anything fun."
Carl nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Jimmy, why can't we go someplace that's really fun for a while?"
"Or even visit Brobot and his folks?" added Sheen.
Jimmy sighed. "I already told you guys. After our last trip the Strato XL needs a major overhaul Aside from the battle damage and jury-rigging I had to do to it I've never pushed it that far that fast for that long. It would be dangerous to try flying it anywhere right now. I had to scavenge some parts from my hovercraft for us to make the initial flight so that's also out of commission for a while. And as for time travel…" He turned his attention back to the device he had been using and frowned. "Until I have a better idea of what's happening to the time stream I don't think we should be messing with it."
Despite his basic lack of comprehension Carl was nonetheless intrigued. "What do you mean?"
"Think of time as a river and that we're in boats travelling along. Sometimes it flows smoothly and sometimes it's rough, but as a rule it moves along at about the same rate in the same direction. But now…" Jimmy stared at the electronic data on the small screen and shook his head. "According to these readings, now it's like the river isn't flowing at all. It's like time is spraying in all directions, like a geyser or a waterspout."
Sheen craned his neck to study the changing display. "Just what do those numbers mean?"
"Those are anti-tachyons counts," Jimmy answered. "According to my fundamental theory of matter, most subatomic matter can be modeled as two smaller particles that are bound together. Under very specialized circumstances these two particles can be split apart. One particle travels faster than light as a tachyon, and to conserve the overall momentum, charge, spin, and other characteristics of the original matter the other particle travels slower than light and becomes an anti-tachyon. In the process the binding energy is released as a chroniton, or a time particle. Usually the process takes a lot of energy to initiate, like from a black hole hyperaccelerating an atom or maybe a supernova, and the number of anti-tachyons is fairly constant. But in the past few weeks the background anti-tachyon count has increased by nearly 0.3. Do you realize what this means?"
Carl answered slowly. "Is that question on next week's test? Because I really haven't had time to look over my handout and -"
Jimmy looked disgusted. "Do you guys even bother to read any of the papers I write? I send you complimentary copies of the scientific journals that publish them!"
"Well, sometimes," Sheen demurred. "At least the ones that have pictures to look at. I like to pretend that their evil aliens for Ultra Lord to defeat."
"I means," Jimmy went on, chiseling each word from ice, "that an increasing number of random chronitons are entering the time stream, disrupting the normal flow. But I can't tell whether it's natural or man-made, or what the effects are going to be."
"So what are going to do, Jimmy?"
"That's a good question, Carl." Jimmy thought for a few minutes before finally announcing, "I think that I'd better contact someone who has a good understanding of time."
"Hurray!" Sheen rejoiced. He leaped onto the bench and stabbed his forefinger into the air. "To the clock shop!"
Jimmy, however, remained seated, activated his wrist-comp, and selected a number from his contact list. After a moment the face of a young black boy about Jimmy's age appeared. "Hello? Oh, hi, Jimmy."
"Hey, Wade. Got a minute? "
Wade glanced over the various displays in his room and nodded. "It seems pretty quiet right now. What's up?"
"Have you been doing any time experiments lately?"
"Time experiments?" Wade shuddered and shook his head vigorously. "After that time complosion experience, time is the last thing I want to mess with for a while. Why do you ask?"
"Well…" Jimmy considered how best to approach the subject. "Could you check the Internet for anything odd that's related to time or time research?"
"Easier said than done." Wade did some rapid typing and studied the information that scrolled across his monitor. After a few seconds he forwned. "Nothing really significant…but there is one thing that's rather odd. According to the some of the major labs their atomic clocks seem to be getting in and out of synch with the master clock at the International Bureau of Standards. The differences are on the order of picoseconds, but definitely measurable. It's as though each clock sometimes runs faster or slower than the others. But…" Wade stopped to think of the implications. "…that means that either the fundamental nature of matter is changing so that each cesium atom is oscillating at a different rate, or that the clocks are no longer in the same inertial frame of reference so that time itself is passing at different rates."
"Or that some of them are being randomly hit with chronitons?" Jimmy asked.
Wade considered that. "Yes, I suppose that's theoretically possible. Although I have no idea why something would be randomly generating chronitons."
"That makes two of us," Jimmy muttered.
"Say what?"
"Nothing. So…" Jimmy took a ddep breath. "How's Kim? And Ron," he added hastily.
Wade shrugged. "Doing okay. Ever since they became an item things have gotten a little samey, but generally good."
"I see. Umm...does she…I mean, they…ever ask about, you know…" He drew another breath. "…me? And Cindy, of course."
"What?" It took Wade a second to catch on. "Oh. No. Not really. But, you know, what with senior year and graduation, her schedule – I mean their schedules – are pretty booked. But I'll tell them you called. They'll be thrilled. Really."
"Yeah." Jimmy sighed. "Yes, sure. Well, take it easy."
"You too. I'll let you know if I find out anything else about weird time anomalies. Out."
The screen went blank and Jimmy realized that Sheen and Carl were staring at him with peculiar expressions. "What?" he demanded.
"Nothing," Carl hastily assured him.
"Nothing at all," Sheen agreed. "It's not like we're your girlfriend. Ask about other girls all you want. Do you want to know how Betty Quinlan is doing?"
"Yes. I mean, no." Jimmy went on the offensive. "And what do you mean, 'girlfriend'?"
"Well…you know. Cindy." Carl swallowed nervously before proceeding. "Kissing. Girlfriend. You know."
"She's not my girlfriend!" Jimmy objected. "And we haven't been kissing. Much."
Sheen scoffed. "Are you kidding? You've been getting more lip action than Coach Gruber's CPR dummy. Which is actually quite a lot," he added thoughtfully. "I've heard some of the girls asking if he has a brother."
"That's not true," protested Jimmy.
"About the dummy?" asked Carl.
"About everything! Cindy is my friend. Yes. Yes, I can admit that. And she's a…girl. But she's just someone I like. Someone who's smart…and funny, when she isn't making fun of me…and that I can trust…and smells nice…" Jimmy's voice grew more distant and his expresson became dreamy. "And is pretty…and dresses nice…and has the softest…" He caught himself and glared at Carl and Sheen. "But she's not my girlfriend!"
"Oh, come on, Jimmy. Ever since we took that trip to Mars, you and she -"
A familiar and irritatingly affected voice interrupted Sheen."Well, if it isn't my old chums. How is everything?"
Sheen stared at Eustace, wide-eyed. "Wow. Talk about convenient timing. We were just talking about the time we last saw you. What are you doing here, Useless?"
"Please, call me Eustace." Eustace's jaw tightened and his voice hardened, but the grimace on his face could still be interpreted as a smile.
"Why?"
"Because it's my name," he snapped. "And after all," he continued in a calmer tone, "we're all friends."
Carl looked puzzled. "Since when?"
Eustace laughed loudly. "Ah, yes. Ever the epitome of drollery, aren't you…" He stole a quick look at the crib notes Blix had prepared for him before finishing the sentence. "…'Sheen'?"
"I'm Sheen," said Sheen.
"Of course you are. Sheen, and Jimmy, and…" Eustace took another quick look at his notes. "…and 'the other one'. So many happy memories together, eh?"
Jimmy refused to be taken in. "What do you want, Stritch?"
"Want? I have everything. Why should I want anything?"
"Because for people like you," Jimmy replied, "'some' is never enough."
All too true, Eustace thought. But all he said was, "Surely you don't believe that?"
"And why shouldn't I?" Jimmy shot back. "Ever since we've met, you've always been after something. First it was Goddard. Then it was trying to kill me and my friends. And then it was the hydroquantum energy source. You're after something now. I can smell it. Just what is it this time?"
Eustace forced a laugh. "Oh, nonsense, Jimmy. I mean, we did face danger together and leave Mars together on good terms, didn't we? Is it so strange that I'd feel a bond of cameraderie and want to spend some time with my…" He barely managed to force the word out of his throat. "….best friends?"
Jimmy got up to leave. "Let's go, guys." He started towards the door with Sheen and Carl trailing behind him.
"And share a financial opportunity that would make them rich beyond their wildest dreams?" Eustace called after them. Jimmy was already out the door but Carl and Sheen stopped short.
"'Rich'?" Carl echoed.
"'Wildest dreams'?" repeated Sheen.
"Well, yes," Eustace oozed. "In my economic situation there are dozens - hundreds, really - of financial opportunities that need only the merest trifle to bring them to fruition. And after our close call on Mars in which you all played some small part in our fortuitous extrication, I felt that you deserved something of my magnanimity in furthering your own fortunes as a reward of sorts."
Both Carl and Sheen stared blankly at Eustace.
"'Rich'?" Carl said again.
"'Wildest dreams'?" Sheen asked hopefully.
How does Neutron stand this without going insane? Eustace thought. It's like dealing with talking dust bunnies. But he just smiled reassuringly. "Yes, more money than you could spend in a dozen lifetimes. All it takes is some imagination and a little help from you to bring it all to pass."
Carl and Sheen drew closer. "Like what?" asked Carl.
"Well, just as an example, I'm sure that you've been to places that very few people have visited. Think of the money they'd pay to go there."
"Oh, yeah," Sheen agreed. "Like the Bahama Quadrangle."
Carl nodded. "Or Shangri-Llama."
"And remember when we went to -"
"Or," Eustace loudly interrupted, "some of the wonderful things you've seen that we could manufacture and market. Like alien contraptions on other worlds, for example."
Sheen's brow furrowed in thought. "Like what?" he asked.
Eustace feigned indifference. "Things like anti-gravity flying machines. Teleportation devices." He paused for a second before proceeding. "Robots."
"Oh, yeah. Like Bubo," Carl suggested.
"Or VeeAytch One," added Sheen.
"Or Goddard," Eustace slipped in.
"Ah-HAH!" Jimmy, who had backtracked in time to hear Eustace's last comment. stormed towards the three. "I knew you were after something, Stritch! So it's Goddard again, is it? With everything you have you just can't rest until you get your claws on something that isn't yours, can you?"
"Don't be a fool, Neutron," Eustace snapped back. "That dog is worth millions – maybe tens or hundreds of millions. Think of all the applications that robots like him could fulfill. Exploration. Search and rescue. Companionship. Security. Babysitting. Even personal servants. Keeping that technology for yourself is a crime against humanity. Not to mention to your friends who could profit from it. But it seems that keeping your precious secrets means more to you than helping them does."
Jimmy seethed silently for long a moment before he finally said, "My friends know better than that. You aren't getting Goddard or any information about him." He glared at Sheen and Carl, who had been looking from Jimmy to Eustace and back again. "And neither Carl or Sheen will tell you anything they know about him either. Right?"
Carl sighed in disappointment. "Right."
"Yeah, right," Sheen agreed wistfully.
Jimmy turned to leave but swung back with a parting shot. "And just remember this, Stritch. Things don't always turn out exactly the way you think they will. Dr. Frankenstein found that out a little too late with his creation. Take the hint."
Eustace watched Jimmy stalk out of the Candy Bar, fuming. "And what would he know about it?" he snorted.
"A lot," Carl answered. "There was this candy that Jimmy made once that no one could stop eating."
"And don't forget that enhanced sun block that started a new ice age," Sheen reminded him.
Carl snorted a laugh. "Or those spicy nanochips that took over everyone's pants."
Sheen was laughing now as well. "And his little robot brother that even Jimmy's parents liked better than him."
"Or -" Carl began, but Eustace cut him off.
"Robot brother?"
"Oh, Brobot. Yeah." Sheen grinned at the memory. "At first Jimmy had a lot of fun with him. But then Brobot started to get irritating so Jimmy got rid of him."
"He took this Brobot apart?"
"Oh, no." Carl shook his head. "No, no, no. Brobot was his brother, sort of. Jimmy gave Brobot a Mombot and Popbot and sent them away."
"I see." Eustace posed the next question with carefully calculated nonchalance. "And just where did Jimmy send them?"
"Umm…" Carl looked uncomfortable. Jimmy had not told him and Sheen not to tell Eustace anything about Brobot, but long years of bullying had helped him develop a keen sense of when someone was setting a trap for him. "I don't think Jimmy would want us to talk about that anymore."
Sheen nodded. "I think Carl's right. We'd better not talk about that."
"Really?" Eustace shrugged and snapped his fingers. At the pre-arranged signal Sam approached with a wheeled cart, upon which was an Atomic Chocoblast, the Candy Bar's most opulent offering. Carl and Sheen watched the massive confection approach with glazed eyes and open and slightly drooling mouths. Eustace scraped a spoonful of the frozen treat from the massive mound and waved it in front of the two rapt boys, who followed the every movement as though hypnotized. "Suppose we discuss just where this Brobot and his parents are while you're finishing your treat. And then we can think about everything you'll be doing with your huge piles of money."
End of Chapter 1