Disclaimer: This work contains mature and explicit themes including but not limited to violence, drug and alcohol abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation and many more. Please consider your own triggers prior to reading this work. Please take care of yourself and skip this one if you need to.

"The time spent apart was always the hardest, but you were on my mind constantly. In the darkest of moments, when the waves crashed against me and threatened to sink me. You, Daphne Greengrass, were my lighthouse. You brought me safely to shore."

December 1997

Daphne Greengrass bade her family goodnight and rushed to her bedroom as quickly after dinner as she could without it seeming suspicious. Her parents had been quick to realize that something was amiss but had mercifully agreed to leave her be, likely attributing her behavior to the broader negative state of the wizarding world.

The truth, however, was Daphne was eagerly awaiting a letter. 'I don't know when I can send another letter, next week hopefully, maybe two weeks at the latest.' Harry had promised her, and yet it had been nearly three weeks, and no letter had arrived.

Daphne had tried her best not to assume the worst, but with each passing day her unease only continued to grow. She now spent most of her time locked in her bedroom fretfully awaiting the sound of wings that would indicate he was still alive.

After she entered the room and locked the door behind herself, she rushed to the window and threw it open, but only the cold late December wind and a flurry of snow greeted her. She knew she should close the window, knew that she was already sick with anxiety and worry and that allowing the chill inside would only give her a physical illness to match, but she was so scared of missing his correspondence that she left it wide open instead.

She attempted to calm her racing mind and heart as she prepared herself for another restless night, tried to think of Christmas morning tomorrow and the fact that she was going to see her grandparents for the first time in months, but it was to no avail as she was unable to shake the image of messy black hair and startling green eyes from her mind.

She still found it hard to believe how someone she had only properly met just a little over a year ago had somehow turned into the single most important person in her life, but he had.

Clad now in pyjamas, she cast a warming charm on her bed before crawling in and burying herself under the duvet. As she closed her eyes, she allowed those earlier thoughts of him to wander.

Her mind flashed back to their first meeting, alone together in the alcove Hogwarts had supplied them. She thought of the courage she didn't know she had when she had stopped him as he was retreating to kiss him on the cheek, and the way her entire body warmed when he had kissed hers right back.

She thought of the next day. The lovely evening spent at Slughorn's party, the first of many midnight flights he had taken her on that had followed it.

She thought of their first proper kiss, awkward, and bumbling, and slightly rushed, and utterly perfect after an afternoon in the early spring spent together hand in hand by the Black Lake.

She thought of the butterflies that had erupted in her stomach when he had introduced her to Ron and Hermione as his girlfriend, his expression hard, his eyes daring them to say something, anything, negative.

She thought of the night he had found her after dinner in late June. Of the words he had told her. "Dumbledore and I have to do something tonight. Something important, like a mission. It could be dangerous, I just needed you to know before we do it that — in case something was to happen, I need you to understand that… I love you, Daphne."

She had beamed at him, hugged him so tightly she must have bruised him, and told him that she loved him back. Then she had pulled him down into a kiss. After a minute or two she finally remembered what had preempted his confession.

"Dumbledore will be there, though. Won't he?" She asked and Harry looked at her with a confused expression on his face and his lips still puckered.

"What?" He asked dumbly, and she rolled her eyes.

"This mission you're going on," she clarified. "Dumbledore will be there, won't he?"

Harry's eyes cleared and his expression turned more serious. "Yeah, he will."

"Good. Then you'll be okay," she told him, and then pulled him back down into another kiss.

She had been half right. Harry had remained unscathed, yet Dumbledore had not. The headmaster, his mentor, had died that evening at the hands of Severus Snape.

She hadn't seen Harry for nearly a week. He wasn't at meals, wasn't in classes. Ron and Hermione swore he was alright, but Daphne remained a tightly wound ball of nervous energy until one day as she was leaving the great hall she was pulled into an empty classroom by the arm.

She had her wand in her hand and a curse on her lips in an instant, but they both faded as she saw who it was that had pulled her aside.

His hair was limp, his eyes tired. Blue/black bags contrasted harshly with the sickly pallor his complexion had taken on. "Harry?" Her voice was slightly panicked.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." She reassured him.

He seemed ready to argue, but then deflated. He looked frail. Broken. Daphne's heart throbbed in her chest.

"I won't be back next year."

Daphne had anticipated as much.

"Me either. My parents wrote and said Astoria and I will be tutored at home next year."

"Good. That's good."

"Harry what's going on?"

Harry sighed. Ran a hand through his hair. "Ron and Hermione and I, we— we need to do something."

"What?"

"I can't say. The same thing Dumbledore and I were working on the night he was killed. We need to finish it."

Daphne felt panic rise up through her stomach and into her throat, as sour as bile. "You can't be serious, Harry. Dumbledore died. If he was killed doing this than how could you…" The thought died on her lips, but she saw that Harry had heard the unspoken words regardless. 'How could you possibly finish it?'

"We have no other choice," he replied resolvedly. "Voldemort is back now. Properly back. This will break into another full-scale war soon, and we won't be able to finish it until this… mission is completed."

Daphne had wanted to scream, wanted to hit him and make him understand that this war wasn't his burden. He wasn't even 17 yet for god's sake, but she knew it wasn't true. While Harry had been hesitant to tell her specifics, she had deduced that he would play a role in the upcoming conflict. She knew there was a reason he was always at the center of tragedy after tragedy year after year.

Instead of arguing she cast a locking charm at the door, and then another two for good measure. She began to loosen her tie. "Promise me," she said, "that you'll come back to me."

"Daphne, what are you doing?"

She threw her tie to the side and began working on the buttons of her shirt. "For fucks sake, Harry. Promise me you'll come back to me. That you'll live through this mission." The last word was laced with venom.

Harry hesitated. "I promise I'll try."

She discarded her shirt and felt her skin warm as his gaze dropped down to drink in the sight of her. She stepped closer and began working on his tie.

"That's not good enough."

"That's all I can truly promise," he replied, his eyes looking into hers earnestly, full of desire and regret. She threw his tie into the pile of clothes she had discarded.

"Fine. You promise that you'll try, but I also need you to promise that you'll write to me, that you'll let me know you're okay, that you're alive."

Harry hesitated. "It won't be easy, could even be dangerous to..." Daphne shot him a glare and he brought his hands to her face, cupping her cheeks gently, his eyes softening. "I promise I'll write whenever I can."

"Good, now tell me you love me."

"I love you so fucking much, Daphne. More than words can express. So much that it physically fucking hurts me."

"That's a great answer, Potter."

"It's the truth."

His shirt found its way to the floor and then her lips were on his, but before Daphne could think further of that encounter, their first and only encounter of the sort, a sound pulled her out of her reverie.

She shot out of her bed instantly as a barn owl swooped through the open window landing gracefully on a perch. She quickly set out water and feed, the owl hooting appreciatively, before untying the letter and a small box that it had been carrying.

She unfurled the letter first.

'Daphne,

I hope you're well. I miss you terribly and think of you constantly. You're a bright spot in all this darkness. Whenever I find myself wondering what it is we're even fighting for anymore, your face pops into my mind and gives me the strength I need to keep pushing forward.

I'm sorry for the late letter. Things have… stagnated a bit. Ron has left, the git. The worst part is I don't even blame him. I was half expecting Hermione to leave too, but she promised me she'd stick out to the end. I hope that's true; I don't know if I could bear this alone.

We seem stuck, but I've convinced Hermione to move forward with a lead. We're going to give it a go tonight, I think. I believe it's going to work; I really do. Hopefully the next letter will have some better news.

I wish you were here just for a day so I could hold you. I love you so much. I'm sorry I won't be able to spend this Christmas with you, I hope that the next one will be different. As a recompense I hope you'll accept the gift I've attached.

I can't wait to see you.

Happy Christmas Daphne,

All my love,

Harry James Potter'

Daphne read the letter in its entirety three times and then rolled it back up, opening the drawer to her dresser. She removed a locked box from within it, and after muttering the password placed the letter inside along with the others he had written to her.

Daphne felt a wave of emotions flooding through her and allowed herself to truly feel them all. She was relieved to hear he was okay. Upset that Ron had left. She was anxious for the lead they were going forward with probably right now as she sat safely in her bedroom.

Most of all she missed him, so terribly much. They had promised to be there for one another. Alone together they always said. Yet at this moment they were just alone.

She looked at the box that lay wrapped on her bed. She reached for it and unwrapped it slowly, carefully. Inside was a black velvet box. She opened it and gasped. A hand covering her mouth as tears sprung up in her eyes.

Inside the box lay an elegant ring, the band made of white gold with a beautiful clear sapphire atop it.

A slip of paper sat folded neatly inside the box. When she opened it there was a single line scrawled in the same messy script the letter had been.

'It reminded me of your eyes, I love you.

-HP'

Daphne put the ring on her finger and began to cry in earnest. She missed him so much.

She spoke softly into the darkness as the barn owl fluttered its wings to cover its face as it settled in for a nap. "Happy Christmas, Harry. Please be safe. Please come back to me."