One moment, Lelouch was standing in the kitchen, surrounded by the appetizing scent of browning dough and beef sizzling in the pan. The next, he was standing in a musty room lit only by the faint flickering lights of candle. His hand dropped to his side, the familiar and comforting weight of his gun offering a small amount of protection.
"Lelouch?" Milly asked, and he blinked. "What are you doing here? I thought you were busy today."
"He's always busy," Rivalz grumbled.
Lelouch shook his head. These were Nunnally's friends, and as his eyes adjusted, he could make out the familiar shape of the student council room. There were two options. The much more likely one was that his lack of sleep had finally decided to rear its head in the worst possible manner. Hallucinations, though, painted a rather dire picture of his mental state. The other option was that he had teleported from New York to Japan, and this unimaginable technological breakthrough had been accomplished by a group of teenagers.
"I need more sleep," he mumbled.
An unknown redheaded girl scoffed. "You already sleep through every class."
"Lulu," Shirley cried. "You should apply yourself more."
Lelouch glanced around the room and at the dripping syrup from the table. He smelled it carefully. Chocolate. Sometimes, the brain was too strange. As none of this was real, walking elsewhere risked injury. Shaking his head, he sat down and closed his eyes.
"Is he really going to sleep?" Shirley whispered.
"He seems kinda out of it," Milly mumbled. "Lelouch? Lelouch? Do you need the nurse?"
And now that he resigned himself to actually needing sleep, his mind refused to allow him the comfort. Slowly, he lied down and observed the plain ceiling with a long crack running through the center. It was a strange detail. The ceilings of Ashford Academy were lavishly decorated, especially the student council room. Here, it was simply white paint. Perhaps the intricate paintings and golden embossing was too much work for his sleep-addled brain to conjure.
The door squeaked and footsteps entered the room.
"Lelouch?" Shirley asked. "But then-?"
Groaning, Lelouch turned his head and stared at the doorway to stare at... himself and a ghost-Suzaku. Lelouch swallowed, his chest unusually tight and glanced away, feeling betrayed by his mind. Why did it have to torture him so? Suzaku was dead and gone. But there he stood, with a smile on his face, and dressed in an Ashford Academy uniform. A painful imagining of what-if.
"The hell?" asked the unknown girl.
Strong hands pulled him upright, forcing him to look in the painful visage of his dead friend. Suzaku leaned forward, his breath smelling of mint. "Who are you?"
"Lelouch," he answered, suppressing the urge to giggle. "And you?"
"Who sent you?" His doppelganger growled, suddenly much too close.
"No one." This time he laughed at his doppelganger's evident outrage. "I was cooking in the kitchen, and then I was standing here, surrounded by some students playing at the occult. Oh... The pizza is going to burn."
Hopefully, Roy would notice something amiss. Or maybe his brain would release him from this particular torment soon. Already, his skin was beginning to itch. He wanted out of this cage built by his mind. If he listened carefully, he could swear that water was dripping nearby. His heart rammed against his chest, and he took a careful breath.
There was no Refrain, no Count, no cellar.
Rationally he knew that, but everyone was too close. His dead friend was standing before him. His body had become a prison once more. He wasn't safe; he needed to leave. There was nowhere to go. And Suzaku was blocking his path.
Kallen hadn't been sure what to make of Lelouch's sudden arrival. One moment, they had been standing in a circle, engaged in a silly ritual of Milly's. She had swallowed her protest, the memory of the hostage incident too fresh in her mind. They hadn't done anything to deserve that, and while Zero had come through to save the hostages, she had never imagined seeing her classmates in such a precarious position.
So she had kept silent and uttered the meaningless words.
And then a very confused Lelouch stood in the center of the room.
Perhaps he had snuck in and was playing an elaborate prank, but the door opened to reveal another Lelouch talking amicably to Suzaku, and nothing made sense anymore.
"Suzaku," she said, pulling him back from the look-alike who had gone catatonic. "Give him some space to breathe."
"So who is the real Lelouch?" Rivalz asked, looking between the two. "Maybe one of them is wearing a mask."
"Don't be ridiculous," Shirley said. "They look exactly alike."
They actually didn't. Up close, Kallen could notice minute differences between the two. The one before Suzaku had noticeably more stress lines. His hair was shorter cut and slightly more brittle with streaks of grey.
Lelouch meanwhile felt as he always did: an asshole.
"But they do it in the movies. Secret agents put on a mask, and they look exactly the same," Rivalz said.
"This isn't the movies." Shirley crossed her arms. "Maybe he's a long lost twin and our ritual summoned him."
"You're arguing for magic over awesome spy tech? Come on, magic isn't real."
Lelouch cleared his throat, nervously stepping away from his doppleganger. "You performed a ritual?" Slow nods answered him. "Maybe Shirley is right..."
Shirley beamed at her crush agreeing with her while Rivalz scowled.
"The masks short circuit all the time," the other Lelouch said absently. His eyes darted around the room, steadfastly avoiding Suzaku.
"So you're a spy," Kallen said. While she didn't understand how Lelouch and Suzaku were friends, they were undoubtedly close. The real Lelouch would never avoid him. Her hand grasped the concealed pocket knife. If he was here because of Zero...
"No," the spy said, and she froze, noticing the gun in his hand. "Why does everyone always think that?"
"Then drop the gun," Kallen growled.
Everyone froze, except Suzaku who rushed forward, tackling the spy to the ground. Standing up, Suzaku held the gun between the tips of his fingers and quickly passed it to Lelouch. The spy groaned weakly and stared at his hands, his eyes drawn together in confusion.
"Who are you?" Milly asked, hands on her hip, but a slight waver in her voice betrayed her uncertainty. "The headmaster is my grandfather, and he doesn't appreciate trespassers."
"Nunnally was mad at Mother for being late to her birthday party, so she ruined her favorite dress," the spy said, his eyes locked onto Lelouch.
Lelouch stepped backwards. "But I took the blame... Nobody ever knew."
The doppelganger smiled grimly and extended his hand. "Lamperouge. I'm still not convinced that I'm not dreaming." More quietly, he added, "Or got poisoned."
But not quietly enough, as Shirley gasped. "What are you doing that people would be poisoning you? Is this because of gambling? I've told you it was dangerous."
"Your counterpart hasn't." Lamperouge, a playful smirk on his lips, turned to Lelouch. "You gamble as well?"
Kallen bit on her cheek to stop herself from laughing as Shirley cried out in dismay, and Suzaku voiced his own displeasure at his friend's activities of dubious legality. As the two began to talk about preferred chess openings and pompous, idiot nobles, Kallen frowned. The conversation was meaningless. Not revealing anything regarding their personal lives.
They were both wary of... themselves
"Why would someone poison you?" Kallen asked. He was a nobody, a slacker who refused to apply himself.
Lamperouge stiffened. "There was an unfortunate case of food poisoning at a bar. It's not an experience I wish to ever repeat."
"A bar?" Rivalz asked, turning to Lelouch. "Dude, you never do that. It's not that hard to get a fake ID."
"I'm a law abiding citizen," Lamperouge cut in. Somehow, Kallen couldn't believe that. Lelouch, yes, if one ignored the gambling. But Lamperouge? There was something too defensive about that statement. "Other Viceroys have a more lax stance on alcohol consumption. Not that I would need a fake ID in Area Eleven anymore."
"I need to move," Rivalz groaned. "Just imagine. Going to the Homeland. Everything I could ever want."
"And you can't turn around without bumping into a noble and having to profusely apologize," Lamperouge said.
"So you're not a student at Ashford," Milly said, her voice heavy with suspicion. Like Lelouch, she hadn't relaxed and regarded his doppleganger as if he was a venomous snake.
"Ashford wasn't an option. I enlisted." Lamperouge shook his head. "Your grandfather wasn't exactly thrilled."
"You? Exercise?" Suzaku asked.
"Unfortunately." Rubbing the back of his head, Lamperouge continued, "Even after five years, I don't necessarily like it. But we can't always do what we want."
"You're lying. You can't enlist before you're fourteen." Suzaku stepped closer to lelouch, almost shielding him with his body. "I don't know what you're trying to accomplish, but-"
Lameperouge snorted. "Not like anyone verifies the age of the cannon fodder."
Suzaku turned around, grabbing the gun which he had previously confiscated from Lelouch's hands. Frowning, he examined it. "This is a standard issue."
"And how do you know that?" Lamperouge asked, his voice rising.
"Oh, Suzaku's in the army," Shriley chimed in. "He was there, helping us out after Zero rescued all the hostages." She hugged herself and shivered. "It was nice seeing a familiar face. They kept asking us about the Black Knights."
"What?" Lamperouge asked. His head snapped to Suzaku, for the first time staring at him voluntarily. "How are you even alive? Are you insane?"
Was that concern in his voice? Kallen frowned. Given Britannians' attitudes towards the Japanese, Suzaku probably didn't have the easiest time. Lamperouge's reaction seemed out of proportion.
Suzaku crossed his arms. "You lied about your age to join. I don't think you have a leg to stand on to critique my choices."
"You're the Prime Minister's son, a political symbol. The E.U. and Chinese Federation would love to control you and use you as a tool by invading Japan to support your sovereign claim. Or wave you as a bloody flag."
"Well, I joined the Britannian army," Suzaku said.
"And Britannia would love to use you to discredit any resistance movement. In the best case, they strengthen their claim over Japan. More likely, they execute you for some minor, short term political gain." He pinched his nose. "And in the army? How the hell are you alive?"
Suzaku winced. "They... misspelled my name."
"Of course. Now I have to check all the records when I get back to make sure my Suzaku wasn't struck by insanity as well."
Feigning a bout of weakness, Kallen took a seat. She hadn't realized all those political implications, but Lamperouge had. And Lelouch? He hadn't been surprised either, while the rest of the student council still needed time to process. If Lelouch was truly a slacker and uncaring of everything, then he would also have been blindsided. Lamperouge was sharper, but Lelouch might be incredibly similar to his counterpart and simply have learned to hide his thorns.
She wore a mask... and maybe Lelouch did as well.
"You're saying they framed Suzaku," Shirley said, "for Prince Clovis's assassination?"
"What?" Lamperouge said. "Clovis is dead?"
"Zero killed him," Milly said gently.
Lamperouge stumbled towards a chair and gingerly took a seat. For a Britannian, the death of a royal had to be shocking, but Kallen could bring herself to feel any sympathy. Clovis had ordered their slaughter to hide his activities. He was cruel and petty despite his dramatic speeches begging for mercy.
What Britannian wasn't two-faced?
"You alright?" Milly asked, grasping his shoulder.
"Of course," Lamperouge said, although the lie was clear. "What's the date?"
As Milly answered, Kallen turned away, unable to hide her scowl. He was a few months behind and would naturally try to stop it. In his world, Zero might never get the chance to succeed. Hopefully, no one would believe a random soldier. Or... Her hand drifted back to her hidden pocket knife. Could she do that for Zero?
"And the Emperor?" Lamperouge asked. "What did he say when Clovis died?"
"He..." Milly looked away.
"The bastard didn't give a shit," Lamperouge said tiredly. Everyone glanced at him in shock, and he laughed weakly. "I don't exist here. I can say whatever I want."
"Because they'll blame me," Lelouch grumbled.
Lamperouge chuckled. "I do need to return home. Preferably before my absence is noted, and my parents overreact."
"Dude, Lelouch barely ever mentions them," Rivalz said.
At his side, Milly had frozen and drastically paled. Lelouch meanwhile was openly glaring, while Suzaku was just confused. Kallen ran over what Lamperouge had said again, trying to understand what had unnerved them but found nothing.
"They're not nice people, Rivalz. Between conversing with blood drenched criminals and my father, I would choose the criminals. And my mother prefers killing her problems."
"Don't say that," Lelouch growled. "She was unbelievably kind."
"Yes, her rare moments of kindness are rather unbelievable," Lamperouge said. "The worst part is you know she has the capacity to be empathetic, to understand, but chooses not to. At least with Father, you won't be disappointed."
"That bastard is not my father." Lelouch stepped forward. "Although you're right, it isn't a disappointment. More of a betrayal."
"That's your fault for expecting anything from him. The only one who can expect anything of him is Mother. The rest of us are his pawns to bid as he pleases."
"Because not even seeking justice for her after her death is too much to expect? He didn't care."
Lamperouge paused. "You're wrong."
"Were you there? 'What of it?' That's what he said."
"You must've misunderstood."
Lelouch growled and stormed out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him. For a moment, he had discarded the mask of apathy. It would be back by the time he returned Suzaku glanced around the room quickly before hurrying afterwards and with it the easiest answer to all their questions. He most certainly knew the truth.
"It is not an easy subject," Milly apologized.
Kallen narrowed her eyes. She knew the truth as well. "Why?"
Milly sighed. "After his mother died, Lelouch had an... argument with his father. They haven't talked since."
"Lucky," Lamperouge grumbled. "That was 2009, wasn't it?"
"Yes. My grandfather sold our family title shortly afterwards. How-"
"My mother survived the attack, but the surgeon wasn't able to save her legs. Nunnally lost her sight in a follow-up attack."
"And your father?" Milly asked hesitantly.
"He was livid, and we were sent to Japan for our safety. Not that it mattered with Britannia deciding to invade," he finished bitterly.
At the time of the invasion, Kallen hadn't been in the country. Her father had listened to the rumors from the capital and brought their family to the mainland out of a sense of an abundance of caution. It hadn't stopped their mother from being declared a Number or him marrying to protect the family name from unsavory rumors.
"You're a noble," Kallen realized. Assassinations were common among the nobility, and a noble would have the influence to seek justice. Milly's pained expression confirmed her suspicion. Perhaps they had even known each other before her family's fall from grace.
"My mother was a commoner," Lamperouge answered.
If her father, a minor noble had heard of the upcoming invasion, then his family should have known as well. No wonder Lamperouge hated his father.
Rivalz shook his head. "Seriously? You are a noble? But you despise them."
"They're leeches," Lamperouge said.
"But- Why didn't you ever say anything? You're my best mate."
"You'll have to ask my counterpart. We're not... close," Lamperouge answered, shrugging apologetically.
Milly winced. "Lelouch... He didn't lie to you. He disinherited himself."
"He got away with that?" Lamperouge asked, surprised. "Lucky bastard."
"I wouldn't say he got away with it..." Milly said.
"He hasn't needed to talk to his father in years and is allowed to take classes here."
Wordlessly, Milly closed her mouth.
"You hate your family that much, Lulu?" Shirley asked quietly from the back.
"Not all of them, but if I could, I would be here with my sister and have the luxury to not worry over anything," Lamperouge answered.
"Then why don't you?" Kallen challenged. He had the family connections to do as he wished. Instead, he was moping.
"Because my father expects me to be useful, and he lacks basic human decency and will do anything to ensure a return on his... investment," he spat. "Joining the army was a way to escape, regardless of how futile it is."
"Lulu..." Shirley said sadly.
"Your Lulu clearly doesn't have to worry," Lamperouge said bitterly. "He's allowed to live in anonymity."
"That's not it," Milly said, twisting her hands. "Lelouch... He doesn't know."
Lamperouge snorted. "He most certainly does."
"He doesn't," Lelouch said from the doorway. His face again calm... or rather dead. "Nunnally and I were left for dead. He had no need for a mouthy brat or a blind and crippled girl."
"Nunnally was caught in the attack?" Lamperouge whispered.
"And that man didn't care. Said he had no use for a weakling. And I've been dead ever since..." Lelouch leaned against the doorframe. "The attack happened in your world. Who was behind it?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know," Lelouch spat, the anger returning.
"I assumed my parents handled it, and it didn't concern me any further."
"You have to know something. A guess? Something?"
Lamperouge frowned. "It scared them. Whoever orchestrated it had plenty of resources, and my father seemed to know immediately who was responsible. If they are still alive, it is because removing them is... difficult."
"What does he have to fear?" Lelouch snarled. "He failed to protect Mother."
Kallen fiddled with the pencil on the desk, itching to take notes. Lelouch was a son of a powerful noble, and the casual discussion of reprisal made it clear that Lelouch and Lamperouge's father was powerful, influential.
"After Mother survived, an assassin was sent after me and Nunnally," Lamperouge whispered. We had been moved for security reasons near Father's quarters. The assassin waltzed into the room. We survived by sheer luck, and when I awoke, we were told that we would be going to Japan. That's how I met Suzaku." He nodded at him with a sad smile. "We became best friends, and we helped you hide when Britannian troops came. My mother... she wants you dead."
Suzaku flinched. "Why?"
Lamperouge rolled his eyes. "Because an Eleven friend isn't appropriate, and you were corrupting our minds. I haven't heard of you since."
"Like you wouldn't kill him if you heard from him," Lelouch accused. "You're a good little lapdog now, aren't you? Loyal to Britannia above all else. Anyone who stands with that man is unforgivable."
"Please,"Lamperouge spat. "You have everything so god-damn easy! You don't know anything. Get off your fucking high horse. You have everything I ever wanted, and you complain about it."
"Nunnally is crippled."
"And I'm sorry to hear that, but she's strong. You get to be with her, help her. Let people underestimate her. She'll destroy them."
Rivalz coughed. "Um... Nunnally? But she's a sweetheart."
Staring at him in disbelief, Lamperouge shook his head. "She's an angel, but she is my sister. She's hardly sweet."
Judging from his counterpart's affronted stare, Kallen was leaning to Nunnally being very, very different in their respective worlds. She couldn't imagine Nunnally ever being a threat. The girl didn't have the heart to hurt a fly, but Lelouch... Oh, she could see the similarities between him and his counterpart-the soldier. He would develop into a threat if his mind ever focused on anything substantial.
"How do we send him back?" Lelouch snapped.
Milly shrugged. "I don't know... I didn't think it would actually work."
"I need to go back," Lamperouge pleaded, an edge of panic to his voice. "People- Where did you even find this ritual?"
Or a wiser decision for them would be to eliminate him. Two versions of the same student running around would only cause untold trouble.
Kallen coughed lightly, her sheltered noble mask falling into place. "I can help you. You have to tell them about Zero, right? To save Prince Clovis."
"But-" Milly protested. "We can't have him wandering around. What if someone sees him?"
"And what if someone comes to ask for help?" She coughed lightly. "I'm tired anyway. I can hide him better at my house. My mother won't mind if I say he is my boyfriend." Not that she would ever consider a stuck-up Britannian-especially, a britannian soldier.
Midstep, Lamperouge froze, and she flinched under his piercing gaze.
"Fine," Milly conceded slowly. "You will behave, right Lelouch? Kallen could be in big trouble for helping you. And our Lelouch too."
"I won't do anything to hurt him," Lamperouge promised, a strange lilt to his voice. "We can help each other, can't we?"
Lelouch grimaced. "Of course."
Reluctantly, Milly let them leave, and Kallen called her family's car. The ride to her house was awkward, filled with long considering gazes from the doppleganger. She barely restrained herself from snapping at him for being so impolite. She was doing him a favor! Or pretending to at least.
A person who didn't exist should be easy to dispose of.
Her breath stuttered. She had never killed anyone up close and personal before.
"We're here," she said, leading him to her front door. "Remember, you're my-"
"-boyfriend... Do you like my counterpart?"
She snorted. "No. He's a selfish asshole."
Some of the tension bled from his shoulders.
"Kallen," her step-mother shouted from the top of the stairs as they stepped inside. "And who is this?"
Lamperouge stepped forward, dropping into a well practiced bow. "Leonardo Lowe. I apologize terribly for intruding unannounced, but your dear daughter took pity on me after my ride broke down and offered to let me stay the night."
Her step-mother raised her fan, hiding a slight giggle. What the hell?
"And what do your parents do?" she asked.
"My mother is a knight," Lamperouge answered easily, either a well practiced lie or the truth. My father works in administration. Nothing important really."
Her step-mother descended the stairs and slowly circled them, her eyes raking over Lamperouge, and Kallen frowned as she suddenly realized what drew the despicable woman's eyes. Lamperouge had fine features, aristocratic even.
"Kallen, a moment please," she said with false sweetness, and her nails dug into her arms as she pulled her aside. In the next room, she pushed her against the wall, glaring at her spitefully. "I have no idea how a half-breed child like you managed to catch the attention of a noble, a Pendragon noble, but you will not mess this up, girl. You're going to do absolutely everything he asks, so he has nothing but praises to sing of you. This is an opportunity. More than an evil mongrel deserves anyway. Don't ruin this."
Kallen nodded, heart pounding in her chest as she returned. A Pendragon noble? Who the hell was Lelouch Lamperouge?
"Of course you can stay," her step-mother declared. "It is not a problem at all."
Killing him just became slightly more difficult. Him disappearing would piss off her step-mother.
Still, she entered his room and slammed the door behind her, dropping the act. "Who the hell are you?"
"I don't think my counterpart would appreciate me spilling his secrets."
She reached into her pocket and flipped out the knife. "He's not the one you have to be worried about."
A strike to her solar plexus stole her breath, and she wheezed as her arm was painfully twisted behind her back. Her knife pressed into her throat, drawing blood.
She was such an idiot. Threatening a soldier. Of course he wouldn't stand idly by.
"Maybe I should turn the question on you," Lamperouge whispered into her ear. "Who the hell are you?"
She threw her head backwards, desperately trying to buck him off. He was Lelouch; Lelouch was a twig. Lamperouge didn't budge.
"Answer the question. Or we can discuss this at the Imperial Bureau while I explain my situation. I think they will be interested in the little noble girl who tried to kill me unprovoked."
So despite their separate histories, Lamperouge was confident that revealing himself would grant him a significant advantage.
"Kouzuki Kallen," she answered slowly. "I won't let you go back to save Clovis."
He laughed. "I hardly need to warn anyone. I am Zero., in command of the most successful anti-terrorist task force. Why would I kill Clovis?"
Wait... Did that mean Lelouch was Zero?
Hmm... Not an Excalibur update, but: Low effort no betaing Happy April Fool's story. You're welcome. XD
And that wraps up everything for the day. The actual Excalibur update will be next week Friday.
People have asked for this type of content before, but I honestly don't enjoy writing stuff like this. It always feels too chaotic. But it does make for a perfect April Fool's post but that's about it. If everyone wants to try their own hand at Excalibur meet canon, please feel free. Some people are skilled at this. I get bored... Probably why it's ending here.
Maybe I'll be convinced to try again next year but probably not.