Reviews:
MohawkWoman: Thank you for your kind words. ^^ I had to laugh myself when I wrote the part with the little assassin-babies. The imagination is just so adorable. And of course Connor is cute, but I think he won´t like it to be called like that. ;P At least he´s a man and only puppies and kittens are cute. :D But we won´t tell him. ;D
Shadows of the past
"You created a code that was neither known by Mr. Faulkner, nor by Achilles and which we could not decode?"
Normally Connor's sceptical undertone would have offended me but I didn't feel like it. I was too busy suppressing all my arising feelings and memories that would run me off course if I didn't. I turned both writings so that I didn't have to stare at them the whole time and turned my gaze to my hands instead which I was kneading uneasily.
"Not alone. Furthermore, it is actually very easy if you have understood it once", I said quietly and Connor stroked some strands of hair behind my ear which had fallen between us like a curtain and had covered my face.
"What do you mean by 'not alone'? ", he asked and my lip made acquaintance with my teeth again before I answered hesitantly.
"About three years before I was born, my father had an affair with one of our housemaids. She got pregnant and gave birth to a boy, but my father never acknowledged him as his son. He didn't want anybody to learn about his adultery to save his reputation. My mother knew about it, but she didn't say anything either. I can't say why, but the boy and his mother were allowed to stay, maybe because my father didn't want to pay them off and risk that they told anyone."
I paused and when I looked into Connor's face, I saw the disapproval in his gaze. I understood that he wasn't able to relate to my father's behaviour but I was glad that he didn't say anything about it.
"Even after my birth they were allowed to stay but my mother and my governess always took care of keeping me away from my father's...'bastard'. They never told me that he was my half-brother, but when I was five years old, he did. I didn't find it awful because I didn't understand what my father had done. I was just happy to have someone I could call brother. But Ray, that was his name, told me that it was a secret and that the adults shouldn't know that I knew about our blood relationship. I also knew that I wasn't allowed to talk to him, but the attraction of what is forbidden is always tempting for a child, I guess." I smiled weakly.
"After my birth, my mother didn't get pregnant again and so I never had siblings. Ray and I were the only children in the house and that was why I wanted to spend time with him whenever it was possible. We somehow managed to meet, for example when it was already time to sleep and to communicate with each other, we wrote messages and hid them in particular places in the house."
"And you encoded them?", Connor asked and I nodded.
"Ray was very clever. He thought up so many things and we created our own code. Nobody but us was able to read the messages because when an adult found them, they were nothing more but incoherent numbers and letters. We've never been caught."
My heart constricted painfully when I thought of this time. I had loved Ray like a brother and he had been my brother. For me, it had never made a difference that we hadn't the same mother. Neither when I had become older and had begun to understand what it had meant to him to be an illegitimate child. Even today I was thinking of him like a loving little sister. I had admired him and had enjoyed the time we had spent together. We had roamed through the garden of the house at night, had hidden somewhere in the bushes and between the flowerbeds and had spent hours telling stories to each other. Although Ray had often been the one telling them. I would have never wanted to go without him and he had always said that we had to stick together as siblings. But all of that was years ago and I had already accepted that Ray wasn't a part of my life anymore. To be reminded of him so suddenly was painful. As well as Connor's next question.
"What happened to him?"
"After my parent's death, our household was dissolved and the employees were dismissed. I came to my grandparents and Ray stayed with his mother in London. My grandparents lived a two-day journey away. We couldn't stay in contact and nobody of us could visit the other. We hadn't seen each other for two years when I came back to London and to Richard. But he kept me away from everything and so I met Ray only occasionally and more by chance. When he was sixteen, he obligated himself as a soldier and we hadn't any contact all the more. I just met his mother from time to time because she worked for a family I knew and she told me when she heard something from Ray. Nine years ago, I saw him for the last time." I breathed in shakily and suppressed the tears that were rising into my eyes because I remembered this day too well.
"His mother told me that he would return to the city only once and we met him in a cemetery because I only got rid of my governess when I told her that I wanted to visit my parents' grave. Ray was supposed to go to America. To fight the patriots for the Recoats and he looked forward to it. He was a soldier with all his heart and it was an honour for him to represent his King and country. Furthermore, he was optimistic that the war wouldn´t last long. He said that he would be back soon and that neither his mother nor I should be worried about him. Family sticks together after all." I shook my head with a painful expression. "Four years later it was said that he died during the siege of Savannah. Was torn into pieces by a cannonball. He's dead and now I see that somebody is using our code. Ray would be shocked if he knew what for."
Connor stayed silent and his gaze was thoughtful as he looked at both writings while I shakily struggled with the feeling of grief inside of me. I had lost many people who had meant a lot to me but I had eventually begun to suppress the grief because I had thought that I would feel less lonely when Richard was keeping me away from everything and everyone. A terrible mistake because you could never forget the ones you love. Even though I had rarely seen Ray before his death, I missed him. He was my brother after all. That was why I didn't believe that he had something to do with the letter. Even though Connor seemed to doubt that.
"Are you sure that he died back then?", he asked and grabbed the encoded letter. "It is a strange coincidence that the emblem of your family appears first and now even a code you and your half-brother used. Then the signature: 'R.J.' Ray Jarvis?"
I shook my head vigorously and tore the letter out of Connor's hand to turn it again and bang it onto the tabletop.
"They said that he died and we never heard anything from him since then. Maybe Ray showed the code to somebody who is using it now. He never wanted to be an official part of our family and his surname was never Jarvis. My father never acknowledged him. Furthermore, Ray would never allow innocent people to get harmed. He was good-hearted. Whoever is behind this, it is not Ray. Ray is dead."
Connor looked at me frowning and I just wanted to wipe this expression off his face. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I didn't want to hear his doubts that could make me doubt, too.
"He was a soldier", Connor started slowly, as if he wanted to make sure that every single word reached me. "During a war, there is not the time to identify the bodies without doubt. You cannot anyway, if the injuries do not allow it. I was on a battlefield often enough to know that. Many men died during the siege but maybe Ray was able to flee."
"But he would have..."
Connor raised a hand and interrupted my objection. "War changes men, Lillian. No matter how well you think you know your half-brother, you did not have any contact with him for a long time. Who knows what happened to him? He could be somebody else by now. Maybe you are right and somebody else is behind the code and the seal. But I doubt such coincidences."
"But right now you can't do anything else but conjecture", I said irritated.
"I have never claimed anything else. We will have to find out what is behind all this, but until then you should get used to the idea that you could not like what we will find out."
Connor's voice was objective, and calm and also his expression didn't show any emotions. He took everything as calculated as always and even though I would like to do it: I couldn't say anything against it. We had to find out who had written the letter and had used my family's seal. But I still doubted that it had been my brother.
When I didn't say anything, Connor put his hands on my hips and made me stand up from his lap so that he could rise himself. He grabbed the decoded letter and went to the door.
"I will talk to Mr Faulkner about the journey to Newport", he told me on his way and disappeared shortly afterwards.
Two days later I was standing on the pier and watched the sailors make the last preparations for the Aquila to set sail towards Newport. They worked quickly but concentrated because they couldn't waste any time if they wanted to reach their destination before the new moon. In the last days, I had completely withdrawn when Connor had planned this journey and I had listened to conversations between him and Mr. Faulkner. Because Connor had got into the habit of calling the writer of the encoded letter, whom he thought that he was the gang's leader, "Jarvis". I almost had the feeling that he didn't notice it himself. He always told me that he would find out who "R.J." was but basically, he seemed to be sure already, that it could only be my brother and I made no secret of my doubts about it. Evidence, no matter how incriminating, was no proof for me.
We never talked openly about our dispute because it wouldn't be of any use anyway. We both were stubborn in our beliefs and nobody of us would give them up. So when we talked to each other, it was quite monosyllabic and never about the upcoming journey. The question about the writer of the message lingered like a shadow between us and I wanted to change it. But I thought that I had to admit then, that Connor was right and I didn't want to. So I couldn't do anything else but await what Connor was going to find out in Newport. I would have wanted to sail with them, but Connor had rejected it point-blank and probably it was better like that. But the prospect of staying at home alone for four weeks or more wasn't to my liking. Connor had decided to take Caleb with him and the boy had been enthusiastic about it immediately. Also now, when the last preparations were made, he really bustled over the pier and deck and helped wherever he could. He had already learned a lot about sailing on the crossing from England to America and it was noticeable that he enjoyed it. I had mixed feelings about it.
When I heard steps on the landing stage behind me, I didn't need to guess who was approaching me. Connor appeared next to me a few moments later, as well as a panting Noir who sat onto her hind legs beside me and let me tickle her ears. Connor was already wearing his uniform, had tucked his tricorn under his arm and watched, like me, the hustle and bustle on the Aquila for a moment. We didn't say a word and this silence quickly became unpleasant to me.
"I still don't like that you are taking him with you", I said, looking at Caleb who was just jumping down the plank to the ship.
"I know", was Connor's short response. "But it will do him good to see something else than the homestead."
I frowned but kept an answer to myself. Caleb approached us with a wide grin and tousled through Noir's short fur when he reached us before he gave Connor an expectant look.
"Can we set sail?", he asked excitedly and the Assassin nodded silently. Caleb clapped his hands happily and just wanted to storm back to the Aquila, as he noticed, that I was standing here, too.
"Bye, Lillian", he said and hugged me, more or less half-hearted. Before he could turn away again, I grabbed him by his arm and raised my index finger.
"You will do, as you're told. No matter if the order comes from Connor, Mr. Faulkner or one of the crewmembers. Is this understood?"
Caleb rolled his eyes about my motherly ambitions, but at least he nodded. I stroked over his blonde hair shortly, before I let him go and he ran back to the ship.
"Please take care that he won't do anything stupid", I said while I followed Caleb with my eyes. This boy was a whirlwind, never able to stand still. It was often difficult to control him although he was very lovable. But he couldn't allow himself to do something stupid on a ship and I hoped that this journey could change something about his restless behaviour.
"He will not." Connor put the tricorn on his head and for the first time, since he had stepped next to me, he looked at me. "Everything will be fine", he said and I wasn't sure if he was talking about Caleb or the mission. No matter what it was, I hoped that he was right.
"Be careful", I said quietly and grabbed Connor's hand. Silently he looked down at our hands before he nodded and squeezed mine gently.
"Do not worry."
He looked at me again, before he let my hand go and went to the Aquila. I watched him climb the plank, be greeted by his crew and go to his place behind the ship's wheel. His orders echoed through the bay and shortly afterwards, the Aquila had set sail and sailed towards the open sea. I followed her with my eyes, sad and not sure what I was more worried about. Connor's and Caleb's well-being or what Connor could find out?
Three weeks later
A warm breeze blew irregularly into my face and got me out of my fitful sleep. Mumbling I opened my eyes and screamed quietly when I looked directly into a hairy face with a wide open mouth. With a jerk, I crawled away from the edge of the bed and only slowly did this image reach my mind.
"Damn it, Noir", I growled at the dog who sat panting in front of the bed and was looking at me innocently with her brown eyes. "I'm going to die of shock sometime."
Noir whimpered quietly as if she wanted to apologize and propped her head on the edge of the bed. Smirking I reached out a hand and tickled her ear which she enjoyed noticeably. I was glad that she was here and had moved her sleeping place from the stable into the bedroom next to the bed. The silence in this house made me sick and I didn't feel entirely alone when she was here. I missed Connor and Caleb and would have never thought that I could miss the morning rumbling of the latter anyway. But if everything went fine, they were going to be back in about two weeks and then I could stop brooding all the time. Because in the long run, it didn't upset only my mind but also my stomach.
When I sat up, I was seized by a sudden feeling of nausea that had accompanied me for days, maybe even weeks now and only from time to time. Together with dizziness. Maria had often told me to go to Doctor White, but I found it unnecessary. Because as suddenly as these short feelings of faintness started, as quickly they were over again and I was content with the advice my friend was giving to me. To drink much and in case of doubt, to pay attention to my diet and I went quite well with it until now.
"Damn it", I murmured nevertheless, while I pulled my knees to my body and propped my head on them, waiting for nausea to subside reasonably. Not until it became more bearable, I stood up slowly, got dressed and went downstairs into the kitchen, together with Noir. I gave her some pieces of meat I had taken with me from the inn yesterday evening and put on some water for tea. I took an apple out of the storage and while I chewed it thoughtlessly, I looked outside through the window of the kitchen. It was the end of August and over the last days, summer had decided to unleash its whole strength for one last time. The sun had burned mercilessly from the blue sky and had heated the air so that the whole homestead had been glad about its closeness to the sea and the surrounding forest. The air coming from the sea was reasonably fresh, the trees were providing shade and so it was fairly bearable to be outside. But a general lethargy had spread over Davenport nevertheless and everybody was only doing the most necessary work. It looked like this day was also going to be sunny and hot, so I already deleted some plans, regarding the housework, from my imaginary list.
A knock on the entrance door tore me out of my thoughts and after I had put the boiling water off the fire, I went to the door and opened it. There stood Maria, looking at me concerned in an instant.
"You are looking like death itself."
I squinched up my face and pointed at the hallway. "I wish you a good morning, too, Maria. Do you want to come in?", I teased and went back into the kitchen, without waiting for an answer. Maria followed me.
"Stop joking, Lillian", she said, almost severely and put her hands on her hips, when I turned to her. "You are deathly pale. Don't tell me that you're still feeling sick and dizzy."
"Only sick", I mumbled and brewed my herbal tea demonstratively and made one for Maria, too. She sat down at the table, frowning and scrutinizing me. She almost looked like she was expecting me to drop down dead. I sighed.
"I am fine, Maria. Really! I'm just racking my brains over what is happening to Connor right now and I think that it is upsetting my stomach. Furthermore, I can't take this terrible heat."
Maria nodded slowly. "I told you that you're planning too much for a day. Only that you mucked out the stable yesterday was nearly suicide. One day you will fall over in this weather. Are you drinking enough?"
I rolled my eyes but couldn't hold back a grin. "Yes, mother. I'm very conscientious and careful."
Maria looked at me still frowning but finally, her lips curled into a smirk, too.
"Sometimes I'm wondering who of us is the oldest", she murmured and we both laughed. Maria was more sensible than me in many ways and had similar advice ready. She was honest and didn't shrink from telling her opinion and that was often a great help. We sat together for a while, talked, drank tea and ate something. Since the Aquila's departure, Maria had visited me almost every morning because she knew how lonely I felt in this empty house and I was grateful for her company.
When it knocked on the door again and I opened it shortly afterwards, a stranger was standing in front of me, a letter in his hand. He took the tricorn off his head and indicated a bow.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said politely. "I have a message from Samuel Adams for Master Kenway."
Frowning I looked at the letter in his hand. I asked myself what Adams could want from Connor when he was sending a messenger. But I already had a guess.
"He's currently not here but he will get the message as soon as he returns", I said smiling but to my surprise, the messenger shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I was specifically told that I am supposed to give the letter to Master Kenway in person."
Tensely I pressed my lips together. So whatever Sam wanted to tell Connor, I wasn't allowed to see it. But why?
"I think Mr. Adams won't mind me taking the letter in my husband's place. We are good friends", I said slightly annoyed and the messenger seemed to be insecure for a moment so I quickly put on a friendly smile again. "It would be a pity if you had made the long way from Boston for nothing. I promise: My husband is going to receive the message as soon as he returns."
The messenger weighed the letter in his hand and finally gave me a crooked smile.
"Well...probably he will get the message sooner when I leave it here than when I come back again sometime."
My smile widened. "Exactly."
The man nodded and finally gave me the letter before he indicated a bow again and bid farewell. I stayed polite, too until I could slam the door shut and make a few steps into the hallway. While walking I broke the waxen seal and unfolded the letter. I ignored Maria's indignant expression.
"The letter is for Connor, Lillian", she said but I waved aside, already skimming the message.
Connor,
As promised, I asked around in Philadelphia, but unfortunately, I was not able to learn something more about the gang and its plans. But after my return, I also made enquiries in Boston and learned something.
It seems like they set up a camp in an old fort on the outskirts of the city and officially passed themselves off as mercenaries. One of my men visited them, pretending to search for some men as security. He was introduced to their leader, who introduced himself as Raymond Jarvis. An unpleasant man with uncouth behaviour and an obvious penchant for outbursts of violence and rage. He seemed to notice that his person opposite had come to the fort with wrong intentions and let him be thrown out.
If you should intend to attend to this Jarvis, you should be very careful with it. But I am sure that I do not have to tell you this, my friend.
But I could not fail to recognise this gentleman's surname as the one Lillian told me when we talked about her family. Hoping that this Raymond is not related to her family, I will leave this information only to you for now, knowing that you know well how to use it.
If you should want to visit this Jarvis, turn to our old friend Stephane. He will accompany you to the fort and will surely stand by your side, if necessary.
I remain with my best greetings to you and your wife.
Samuel Adams
I lowered the letter with trembling hands and had the sudden feeling that my nausea as well as my dizziness came back at once. I went to the staircase with shaky legs and sat down on a step. Maria hurried to me immediately, grabbed my hands and looked at me full of concern.
"What is it, Lillian? Did something happen?"
I just gave her the letter she read frowning before she finally looked at me again.
"Is that him? Your half-brother?", she asked and I shrugged my shoulders. Of course, I had told her about Ray and also about Connor's guess that he was behind the gang's doings. But even after this letter, I wasn't entirely sure that he was right.
"It is the right name. But his surname was never Jarvis and he surely was no man who had a tendency for outbursts of rage and violence. Whoever Adams is describing, it is not my brother."
I propped my arm on my knees, bedded my head in my hand and put the other on my belly, waiting for the nausea to subside again. Maria stood silently in front of me and I felt her gaze on me but didn't dare to look at her. Was she going to doubt my words like Connor would do?
"Well, I think we can't do anything else but wait for Connor's return", Maria said in a quiet voice. "I'm sure he will take care of it immediately and then you will be certain."
She laid a hand on my shoulder but pulled it back again when I started to shake my head vigorously.
"No, it takes too long", I uttered between clenched teeth. "I can't wait."
"But there is nothing else you can do." The calm tone in Maria's voice almost drove me crazy. "You can hardly ride to Boston on your own to take...this man to task."
Maria wanted to reassure me of course, because after all she knew how bad I felt with this uncertainty. I also knew that she was right with her words but it seemed like my reason was missing at the moment.
Maria started back when I leapt up to my feet, turned on my heels and stumped upstairs.
"What are you up to now?", I heard her call out but I had already slammed the door to the bedroom shut and had opened the wardrobe. I had a shirt, trousers, a waistcoat, boots and a tricorn on one of the lower shelves. I had got them from the British Assassin Janet Pierce, who had given them to me so that I had been able to sneak on the Aquila and sail with them to Unst, against Connor's wish. They had done me a good turn but I never had felt the need to wear them again. Until today.
Hastily I slipped out of my jacket, my bodice and the skirt and replaced them with the other clothes. They still fit, even though I noticed with displeasure that the trousers had become a bit tight around the waist. Although I had thought that life in the homestead had made me become anything else but lazy. But I didn't care right now.
I had barely got changed and had tied my hair to a braid, when I already stormed downstairs again, past the surprised Maria and to the stable.
"Could you tell me what you're planning to do right now?", she asked me angrily while I began to saddle Adlah.
"I will ride to Boston and have a look at everything myself", I answered shortly and when I looked at my friend, I saw that her eyes were almost bulging out.
"You're totally insane!", she called out. "First of all, you're not feeling well and second of all you shouldn't go to Boston alone! Especially not to such criminals. Do I have to remind you what happened a few weeks ago?"
Of course, she hadn't. I knew that she was right but I didn't care. I just had to know if this guy, Adams had described, was my brother. I couldn't sit here two more weeks, twiddle my thumbs and wait for Connor to take care of it. For once I didn't care about reason or even fear and it seemed like it slowly became clear to Maria, too.
"How do you want to defend yourself?", she asked hysterically. "What do you want to do, if you're standing in front of armed criminals? Without any weapons."
I was just tightening the last strap on Aldah's saddle and paused in my movement when she said this.
"You're right", I murmured and I heard Maria sighing in relief.
"See? So you can unsaddle Aldah and...Lillian? Lillian!"
I had already pushed myself past her and ran back to the house. I stormed through the hallway, opened the hidden door to the cellar and jumped down the staircase, taking several steps at once. In the back of the cellar, I stood in front of Connor's armoury, frowning and chewing my lip.
"What am I fairly able to handle?", I murmured and knew that the answer was "Nothing", but I ignored it frankly. Without further ado, I took a rapier, a dagger and a belt that was lying here, too. It looked quite worn, probably why it was gathering dust here. But maybe it could be of use to me. I put it on but swore quietly when it was too large for me, of course. But I managed to bore another hole into the rough leather with the dagger and so it was no problem to put the belt on. After I had attached the dagger and the rapier to it, I ran upstairs again and when I returned to the stable, it seemed like Maria had finally decided that I had lost my mind.
"He is going to kill you! Connor is going to kill you when he learns about this!"
"He doesn't have to", I growled, led Aldah out of his box and leapt into the saddle. How the hell were you supposed to sit comfortably with a rapier on your hip? Mumbling quietly to myself, I adjusted the weapon and finally put the tricorn on my head, not without hiding my braid underneath it. Obviously, Maria was entirely speechless now.
"I'm back soon", I told her with a determined voice and didn't even wait for an answer. I shoved my heels into Aldah's flanks and we trotted towards the homestead's border.