Author's Note: A short ficlet by request, set after the Santaresa ficlet Since We Decided to Be Infinite and before Awakening Inside A Dream.

She Keeps On Growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind?
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
~Slipping Through My Fingers, ABBA

Rachel clutches her hands around her biceps, nails digging in with just enough pressure to be uncomfortable. She's hoping that the mild sting will keep her grounded. Above her, the sky swirls in shades of gray just gloomy enough to blot out the sun, casting the morning hours in a dreary haze that perfectly matches the color of her mood. The birds aren't singing—or if they are, they're being drowned out by screeching tires and blaring horns, suffocating in noxious fumes. Rachel can sympathize. Her own lungs are tight and constricted and she feels like she can barely draw a breath through them, light-headed and dizzy and on the verge of passing out.

Her agony must show on her face, because Quinn touches her shoulder gently with concern etched into every contour of her beloved face. "Rachel, sweetie, are you okay?"

"No." To her utter horror, her voice trembles with barely-contained emotion. "Our baby is all grown up and leaving us!"

She watches the line of her wife's mouth thin, lips pursing to suppress her own emotion before she speaks. "She's only going to school, Rach."

Unfortunately, one of the emotions that Quinn is suppressing feels far too much like amusement.

Rachel's gaze flies down to their daughter, diligently holding onto Quinn's other hand with her lower lip caught between her teeth as she stares up at them. Calliope looks like a miniature of her mother—well, mothers , really—in a pristine yellow sundress under a cropped, short sleeve white sweater. The ensemble is endearingly similar to ones that Rachel has seen Quinn wear more than a hundred times throughout their long history. It's the perfect outfit for the first day of school, but Rachel suddenly doesn't want her to go. So she shrugs off Quinn's touch and grips her own arms even more tightly.

"But what if she needs us? What if the cafeteria doesn't serve vegetarian options? What if her teacher attempts to suffocate her artistic spirit?"

Quinn's brows furrow in that very particular way they do when she can't quite decide if she's amused or exacerbated. "It's preschool, Rachel."

"Exactly!" Rachel flings her hands out in aggravation; a dozen more what ifs coming to her mind. What if the other kids don't like their baby? What if they make fun of the way she's dressed? What if she doesn't make any friends? What if she gets scared? Or sad? Or lonely? "It's her first foray into educational society. One misstep could lead to disastrous repercussions that will impact her for the rest of her life!" It certainly had done so for Rachel.

Comprehension blooms across Quinn's face, softening her eyes. "She'll be fine, sweetheart."

Rachel glances at Calliope once again, taking note of the way their little girl is still worrying her lip. Curious hazel eyes move between her mothers and the scattering of pedestrians on the sidewalk around them. "You can't promise that, Quinn," Rachel warns quietly.

A long-suffering sigh fills the air between them. "Rachel…"

"That's it," Rachel interrupts, not wanting to hear any of her wife's annoying logic right now. "I've changed my mind. We're home-schooling her."

Quinn's brows furrow again, this time with frustration. "We are literally standing right in front of the school." She gestures sharply to the unremarkable brownstone that they are, in fact, standing in front of right now. Even as they speak, a handful of other young children are being shepherded inside by their parents. "We've talked about this, Rachel. Callie is registered for classes. The school already cashed the check. She's going in."

All of that is true. Rachel is perfectly aware of all the reasons why they'd agreed to send their daughter to preschool now. It's not even a full day of class at this point. Unlike so many working parents, they're lucky enough to not need to use the school as day care. It will only be a few morning hours everyday meant to give Calliope the opportunity to socialize with other children her age. Quinn had first suggested it early last year and, after some thought and much discussion, Rachel agreed it would be a good idea. They'd enrolled Calliope and she'd been accepted and they'd paid the tuition and Rachel had arranged her schedule so she wouldn't need to be on set today and now here they are.

So Rachel purses her lips and bites back her trepidation, instead sinking down on her haunches in front of their daughter with her best reassuring smile plastered on her lips. "Calliope, baby, are you ready to go inside?"

Because if she says no , then they are most certainly going right back home, no matter what Quinn has to say about it.

"Are you 'n mommy comin' too?" she asks, anxiety clear in her voice and expression.

Rachel glances up at her wife with a raised brow, and Quinn sighs, squatting down as well to address their daughter. "We can walk you to the door, sunshine, but then mama and I will need to leave so you and the other kids can do lots of fun new things with your teacher."

Calliope looks down at the sidewalk, face twisting into a fearful frown before she looks back up with pleading eyes. "Wanna go home with you."

Rachel's heart lurches in her chest and she stands back up with determination. "Home-schooling, it is."

"No, Rachel," Quinn counters firmly before shifting her full attention back to their daughter with a gentle smile of encouragement. "Callie, honey, I know it's scary to go to a new place and meet new people, but I know you can do this. You're our brave girl." She tenderly brushes her knuckles across Calliope's cheek before tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear. "Just think about all the amazing new things you'll get to learn in so many new and exciting ways. And if there's anything you want to know or don't understand, you can ask your teacher all about it because that's what teachers are there for. You'll get to play with other kids your age and ask them all about the things they like to do and tell them about all the things you like too. And your mama and I will be right here to pick you up when school is over, and you can tell us all about your awesome day."

Calliope seems to weigh every word carefully, biting her little lip once again as she looks back and forth between both of her mothers with nervous eyes. Rachel attempts an encouraging smile of her own even though her insides are roiling with anxiety for her daughter. Her heart is waging war with her head, screaming to take her little girl back home even though she's fully aware of all the reasons that Calliope needs to stay and take this first step away from them.

Finally, Calliope's gaze settles on Quinn once again. "Pwomise you'll be here?"

"We promise," Quinn assures her before pulling her in for a tight hug. "You're gonna do so well, baby bear." And her glistening eyes squeeze shut, letting Rachel know just how hard this is for her wife too.

She sinks back down to the ground next to Quinn, ready to follow-up her hug with one of her own. "We love you so much, little star," she coos, easily receiving her baby from Quinn's arms into her own. "And we're so proud of you." She presses a soft kiss to the top of Calliope's head and then leans back with a confident smile that she doesn't quite feel, her hands still resting lightly on her daughter's shoulders. "You're going to be the best student in the whole school."

Calliope stands up straighter at that, her expression growing a little more confident despite the lingering worry in her eyes. "Okay." She nods determinedly. "I can do it."

"That's our girl," Quinn praises, pride on her face. She secures Calliope's hand in her own once again as she stands, tender gaze never leaving their brave girl, and Rachel reaches for their daughter's other hand.

"Let's do this." Rachel instills as much conviction in her words as she can, catching Quinn's supportive smile over Calliope's head as they march their little girl up the steps of the school to greet the waiting staff member, who introduces herself to them as Miss Betty and offers to show Calliope to her classroom.

"We'll be back to get you in a few hours," Quinn vows again, "and you'll probably be having so much fun you won't even want to leave."

Calliope grips their hands even tighter right before she finally lets go. "Okay, Mommy. Don't forget me."

Rachel bites back a sob, her throat tight. "Never. We'll be thinking about you every minute." And counting down the seconds until they can come take her home again.

Calliope gives them a shaky smile. "Love you."

"We love you too, baby bear," Quinn vows, stroking her hair one last time before allowing Miss Betty to take her..

"We'll take very good care of her," the woman assures them with a nod, and with that, their precious baby girl disappears into the school.

"Quinn," Rachel sobs as she watches Calliope go, tears finally permitted to spill from her stinging eyes.

"I know," is Quinn's tremulous response as she slips an arm around Rachel and begins to guide her down the stairs and out of the way of the other parents still dropping off their children.

The moment they claim a quiet corner of sidewalk for themselves, Rachel is in Quinn's arms. "This is so hard. Why is this so hard?" she cries into her wife's shoulder.

"She's our baby," Quinn answers, her voice thick with emotion. "She's been all ours for three years and now we have to let go and share her with the world, and it sucks." She's crying too, tiny rivulets slipping down over her cheeks. "But she's gonna be fine, Rachel." It sounds like Quinn is trying to convince herself of that every bit as much as she's trying to convince Rachel. "She's smart and brave and amazing and everyone in that classroom is going to love her."

"I hope so," Rachel whispers. She knows how shy Calliope can be around new people and she prays that her natural curiosity and intelligence will be enough to allow her to participate without fear. She wants nothing more than for their daughter to make a few friends and actually like going to school.

"I know so." Quinn's mouth quirks into a crooked smile. "I mean, she's ours. How could anyone not love her?"

Rachel laughs through her tears. "Our former classmates could make lists, Quinn. For both of us."

Quinn huffs out a disgruntled scoff. "But Callie only got our best qualities, so she's obviously perfect."

Rachel brushes away the moisture from her cheeks. "Well, I naturally agree, but children can be unaccountably cruel." It's a truth that they both have firsthand experience with—Quinn from both sides—and it's already been much discussed between them. She sighs wearily. "I don't know how to protect her from that."

Quinn rubs a hand over her back in an attempt to soothe. "All we can do is what we've been doing, Rach. Build up her confidence, love her unconditionally, and make sure she always has a safe place to come home to." Rachel knows she's right, and she gives a faint nod of acceptance. "And if that doesn't work, we'll send Santana to scare the little bastards into compliance."

Rachel barks out a laugh, shaking her head. "Don't tempt me with a good time."

Quinn's smile is sanguine, and leans in to place a feather-light kiss against Rachel's temple. "It'll be okay. You'll see."

"If you say so."

Because what else can she do? Their daughter will have to face the educational system in one form or another sooner rather than later regardless of her own personal preferences. And Quinn is right. They've given Calliope all the tools she'll need to build herself up even if others might try to tear her down. They have to trust that their daughter is ready to start venturing out into the world to become her own person.

"You wanna go get brunch while we count down the minutes until we can come back and get her?" Quinn asks, her red-rimmed eyes betraying her own struggle to allow Calliope out of their sight even though preschool is a perfectly normal and expected milestone of her young life.

"Can we cry into our mimosas?" Rachel jokes—but not really.

Quinn chuckles wetly. "Absolutely."

So that's exactly what they do.