Bubblegum Interlude 1: A Lovesick Computer System?

Somewhere, in a (currently) unknown location, a large, imposing figure of a man, with large parts of his body replaced by cybernetics, stood before the captured Princess Bubblegum.

"I'll not ask again, princess, what did you do with the map?" he asked.

"What map?" the candy princess responded, trying as best she could to play dumb.

"Give it a rest, highness, I know you had the map! What I want to know is why you don't have it now!"

"I'm not telling you anything!" she shouted.

The cyborg let out a low grumble. He started to say something when a communications display opened on a nearby screen.

"Sir Grodus, dude! I mean, sir! I have the newest report from Petal Meadows, du- I mean, sir!" the soldier on the display said.

"Very well. Report, soldier!" Grodus commanded.

"The, uh, latest report says that the dragon in Petalburg Castle has been slain, d- sir."

"Excellent! When can we expect the Crystal Star to be delivered?"

"Uh, n-never, sir. Our expeditionary squad was decimated and forced to withdraw. Scouts report the dragon was actually taken down by a group led by a young man in a blue shirt and furry cap..."

Princess Bubblegum gasped, "Finn!"

"So then, you know this 'Finn' character, then?" Grodus asked, slightly bemused. "Is he an ally? Perhaps the one you passed the map to?"

"Globdammit," the princess cursed under her breath.

Grodus turned his attention back to the screen. "Tell the scouts to monitor the activities of this 'Finn' character, if he has acquired the map and the Crystal Star, then he will be proceeding to the Door. Additionally, alert Lord Crump's team in the Boggly Woods that they may need to prepare for some interlopers in the near future," he said.

"Aye, sir dude, uh, sir." the soldier responded.

"And tell the Shadow Sirens that Sir Grodus requests their presence." Grodus turned to the soldiers guarding Princess Bubblegum, and said, "I believe we have all the information we need from the princess, you may escort her back to her cell now. And do not do anything to harm her, do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir Grodus!" the soldiers responded, crossing their arms in front of themselves in some kind of salute. And with that, they led the princess off.

"In you go, missy!" one of the soldiers said, rudely shoving her into her cell, which was simply an empty storage room with a mattress tossed in a corner

Princess Bubblegum let out a groan as she slumped onto the mattress. "I can't believe I've been kidnapped. And even worse, now they'll find out for sure that Finn has the map!" A thoughtful expression crossed her face, " I guess the legend of the map is true, though... And Finn can take care of himself, I shouldn't worry about him. I wish they hadn't taken my pocket computer, I could hack this facility's network and send an update on my condition..."

As the princess was musing to herself, suddenly, the door to her cell opened.

"You'll have to drag me-!" she started to shout, only to find that there was nobody at the door. "Huh. That's odd." She glanced around outside the door, and saw no guards anywhere in sight. "Very odd."

She snuck carefully from her cell, and walked down the hall as quietly as she could, certain that the guards couldn't have gone that far. Eventually, she came to another open door, leading into a darkened computer room.

"Okay, this is just too convenient. What is going on?" she asked.

Suddenly, the door to the computer room closed shut behind her, and the lights clicked on. Princess Bubblegum immediately went into a defensive stance.

"Forgive me, Princess Bubblegum," said a voice that sounded like one of those text-to-speech programs, "I did not mean to startle you. But I had to meet you in person."

"Who-? What? A computer wanted to meet me?" Princess Bubblegum asked, confused.

"I am not the computer. I am TEC-XX, the artificial intelligence system in charge of this facility's network operations and life support functions."

"Life support? So we're in space?" Bubblegum asked.

"I am not at liberty to disclose the location of this facility to prisoners. That is not why you are here. You are here because I decided to meet you in person."

"What is that supposed to mean, anyway?"

"Upon initial scans of you, an error entered into my higher-memory functions, and my CPU temperature increased by a small amount, though well within tolerance. I require more data. I desire to learn more about you. I desire to have you near my main console. I do not understand why."

"You want to be close to me and get to know me?" Bubblegum asked, "could it be that-?" She stopped, thought for a mement, and declared " well, you're certainly not the weirdest thing to have fallen in love with me..."

"Love? Is that what this glitch is?" the computer asked, "What is love? And why do I feel an urge to follow that query with the phrase 'baby, don't hurt me'?"

Bubblegum choked back a laugh, "Love isn't a glitch, silly! It's an emotion. It's something you feel for someone you could grow to care about."

"Please, Princess Bubblegum, I want to know more about this 'love' emotion. Will you teach me?"

"Perhaps, are you willing to offer me something as payment?" the candy princess asked.

"I am willing to give you access to the facility's guest network in exchange for your cooperation."

"That'll work, you've got yourself a deal, TEC."

END OF INTERLUDE 1

AN: Well, that was quick, wasn't it? Oh, and by the way, since those of you following this story probably weren't alerted to my update of the previous chapter, go ahead and check that out, if you haven't already.