Chapter Seventeen: Reawakened
"Sandstrike," Longtail nudged her shoulder with his nose, dropping a rabbit beside her. "You look terrible."
"Gee, thanks," Sandstrike rasped. She realized how dry her throat was. Newleaf was in full bloom, and it had been a while since the forest had seen rain. All of the puddles in camp had dried up. The she-cat looked at her pelt, realizing Longtail's words were true. Not only was her pelt parted by scars, it was ragged and ungroomed. She was still shedding her Leafbare coat, making her fur look patchier.
"Sandstrike, you can't grieve forever," Longtail said softly, sitting beside her. He began to groom her neck gently.
"I just…" Sandstrike gave a heavy sigh. "I don't have the strength to serve my clan."
"Is that your doubt or you talking?" Longtail teased. "You're the strongest cat I know, Sandstrike," He said seriously. "I know you've lost a lot, but doesn't that mean you should protect what you've got with all your might?"
"Longtail, I've tried," Sandstrike shut her eyes tight so he couldn't see the tears forming. "Everything I've done to stop Tigerclaw, it's all failed! I was never enough. I failed time and time again, I've let so many cats die, and it was all for nothing. In the end, he still became deputy, just like he wanted."
"It doesn't have to be this way-" Longtail tried. Sandstrike whipped her head around to glare at him, her green eyes blazing with grief and rage.
"Don't you get it?" She yowled. "I'm tired, Longtail. I'm done." The cats not on patrol turned to stare at the pair of them. Sandstrike lowered her voice. "I can't fight Tigerclaw anymore. Just drop it, I've done all I can. I don't want to hear about it anymore."
"There's more ways to serve your clan than stopping an evil tyrant," Longtail murmured. "Feeding them, for one. For moons, you've hardly come out of the warriors' den. You've been grieving, you've been blaming yourself, mentally beating yourself over mistakes in the past. It isn't good for you, Sandstrike. I, for one, am tired of it. It's not good for you, and I've given you plenty of time to snap out of it yourself, but I can't defend you anymore. Your clanmates are out there, working their tails off to feed the clan, yet you stay in here, eating the prey they've worked so hard to catch."
"Does it look like I spend my days sunning myself in camp, gorging myself on prey?" Sandstrike snapped. Her ribs showed from underneath her ragged pelt, and her eyes were set deeper in her skull.
"Sandstrike, you are mentally and physically condemning yourself by staying in camp all the time. The only company you accept is the company of your thoughts," Longtail said solemnly. Sandstrike avoided his gaze guiltily for a moment before changing the subject.
"I assume that with all this concern you've brought, the rabbit is also for me?" Her stomach grumbled, and the tantalizing scent of her favorite prey wafted into her nose.
"You can have it all," Longtail shrugged. "But only if you promise to come with me, Redpaw and Brackenpaw on a hunting patrol."
Sandstrike felt a knot of guilt forming again. How had she forgotten her sister, her apprentice? Longtail clearly picked up on her thoughts.
"Don't worry about it so much," He comforted her. "I've been taking her with me and Brackenpaw on nearly every training session, and when I can't, Goldenflower does. She said she needed something to keep her mind off of her grief, and she missed spending time with her kits." His words held an unspoken hint that her mother missed her as well. She'd spent moons shunning everyone out.
Maybe I'm just scared she'll blame me as much as I blame myself, Sandstrike thought.
"Alright," She relented with a sigh, drawing the rabbit closer to take a bite. Famished, she quickly devoured the rabbit, leaving a bit for Longtail, though he had already eaten.
"How are the apprentices?" Sandstrike asked as she and Longtail approached the fern den.
"Brackenpaw certainly looked down for a while. In fact, all of Lionheart's kits did. I talked to them, and told them that their father is with them, watching from Starclan. Brackenpaw came around quickly, realizing the best way to make him proud was to become a great warrior," Longtail informed her. Sandstrike blinked at him affectionately.
"You're great with words," She observed. "You know how to comfort a cat. You know what they need to hear."
Longtail shrugged modestly, his eyes twinkling with embarrassment. "Every cat has a skillset. Mine's speaking, I suppose, despite the fact that I'm not very social."
"What are we doing today?" Brackenpaw leaped to his paws to greet his mentor. Redpaw trailed out of the den reluctantly, her gaze fixing on Sandstrike. The ginger warrior failed to identify the emotion in her eyes. Resentment? Sandstrike didn't know.
"We're doing an assessment to see how you're coming along," Longtail explained.
"Why? Because Sandstrike doesn't know the skills of her own apprentice?" Redpaw sniped. Longtail gave her a stern look.
"Assessments are crucial in your apprenticeship. If your mentor doesn't know what to teach you, how can you become a good warrior?" He asked.
"I'll trust my instincts," Redpaw raised her head cockily.
"Redpaw, I'm sorry I haven't been there for you," Sandstrike said softly. She owed her sister an apology. Actually, it seemed she owed the whole clan an apology, but nobody more than her mother. She'd find Goldenflower later. "I've been grieving too. I've been through a lot, and I needed to rest."
"For a whole three moons?" Redpaw snapped.
"She needed to rest mentally," Longtail explained. "But now she's back and ready to be a better mentor than she ever was." Redpaw hesitated, then gave a nod.
"I forgive you," She mumbled.
"I'm glad," Sandstrike cracked a small smile. "Now, what are we starting with? Hunting?"
Redpaw stalked perfectly through the undergrowth, her paws ghostly silent. Ahead of her was a sparrow foraging for new growth on the ground. Redpaw skillfully kept in the cover of small patches of grass, and avoided a few twigs and dry leaves from last Leaffall. In a flurry of tortoiseshell fur, she pounced, pinning the sparrow and cleanly killing it.
"You're a natural hunter," Sandstrike praised her, emerging from her hiding spot. Redpaw ducked her head in embarrassment. "Now, we should get back to the Sandy Hollow to meet Longtail and Brackenpaw. Next you and Brackenpaw are going to hunt as a pair."
"Why do we need to be tested on that?" Redpaw asked curiously.
"We're in a clan, and we work together to survive. Thunderclan warriors must be skilled at hunting and fighting with a whole patrol, because if we hunt and fight alone, we won't be as successful," Sandstrike told her. Redpaw nodded and picked up her kill. The pair stopped at the base of an alder to unbury the rest of Redpaw's catch. They reached the hollow, where Longtail and Brackenpaw were just coming with their prey.
"Alright, I want you two to head towards Tall Pines," Longtail instructed. "I want you to try and find a mouse nest and catch multiple mice from that one nest, as a team. Then we'll test your tree hunting, and take your prey back to camp. After that, we'll move on to battle." He waited for the apprentices to nod, then he dismissed them. The two set off in the direction of Tall Pines. After a moment, their mentors followed them.
"How often have they worked on group hunting?" Sandstrike asked softly as they walked.
"Not much," Longtail admitted. "They've seen it on hunting patrols, but they've never practiced it. I've told them about the basics, but I'm curious to see them figure it out themselves."
The two crossed the twoleg path that bordered Tall Pines. After crossing a few ditches, they spotted Redpaw and Brackenpaw, hidden among the roots of a pine.
"They must be figuring out a strategy," Longtail guessed.
"Perhaps they found the mouse nest over there," Sandstrike pointed with her nose to a gap among the pine needles. Longtail nodded. They waited, and watched as Redpaw and Brackenpaw approached the hole. Redpaw crouched in the shadows of a pine, her tortoiseshell fur rendering her invisible. Brackenpaw continued on, circling around the nest before breaking into a run. While the pine needles muffled his paws, Sandstrike could still hear his paw steps from here.
"What are they doing?" She murmured.
All of a sudden, a moment before he ran over the nest, he leaped into the air and came down hard just behind the hole and began to dig furiously. Mice fled from their nest in every direction, and Redpaw leaped into action. She scrambled furiously to try and catch the mice, seeming unable to make up her mind. She hastily caught one mouse. Brackenpaw abandoned the nest and took off after a mouse. Sandstrike groaned as the two apprentices slammed into each other, rolling across the pine needles in a tangle of paws. The mice scattered. Sandstrike looked at Longtail, who was shaking his head in dismay.
The two mentors left their hiding spot and approached their apprentices. Redpaw and Brackenpaw scrambled to their paws, pine needles dotting their pelts.
"What did you do wrong?" Longtail prompted.
"Who said it went wrong?" Redpaw asked. "We caught a mouse."
"You were tasked with catching multiple," Sandstrike reminded her.
"Oh yeah!" Redpaw purred with laughter.
"Um…" Brackenpaw shuffled his paws. "I think what we got wrong was we didn't communicate." He paused, but went on as Longtail gave him an encouraging nod. "We formed a plan, but we were sloppy in executing it. We didn't coordinate our efforts, and didn't work as a team."
"Next time, have a plan for where the mice will go," Longtail instructed. The apprentices went off in search of another nest. At least the battle training went much better.
"How did the apprentices do?" Bluestar asked when they entered the camp, their jaws full of prey.
"Very well, but they've still got some things to learn," Longtail replied. He dismissed the apprentices and gave Bluestar a brief rundown on the assessment, with Sandstrike lingering awkwardly around them. Longtail finished his report, and Bluestar turned towards Sandstrike.
"It's good to see you're up and about again," The leader said. Sandstrike dipped her head awkwardly. Bluestar's eyes rounded with pity.
"I know you've had a hard time these last few seasons, but your clan needs you. I can see that Redpaw still resents you. You two aren't just mentor and apprentice, you're siblings. I want you to take Redpaw to the Moonstone tomorrow, maybe the long trip can give you two a chance to catch up," Bluestar told her.
"Just the two of us?" Sandstrike asked. Usually a few pairs of mentors and apprentices would go at a time, she had expected to go with Longtail.
"Yes, it'll be better if you two go alone. Besides, I can't spare too many warriors to be away from the territory right now. We're surrounded by threats," Bluestar frowned. She paused, then spoke again. "Your apprentice may be the one that is supposed to share with Starclan, but there's nothing stopping you from doing the same." Bluestar went back to her den without another word.