Chapter 13 – April Fools
"Is it OK if I ask why you live with your grandfather?" Iris asked Velia gently.
"Yes, I suppose." Velia shrugged after swallowing the last of her chocolate.
The four of them waited patiently, giving Velia a minute or two to gather her thoughts for what would surely be a very difficult conversation.
"My mother…" she swallowed then bravely continued, "She's very ill. Nobody has been able to diagnose her or cure her and she has been to so many Healing specialists. She… she has been sick as long as I can remember and she is getting worse."
"Oh… Velia. I am so sorry." Fae leaned forward from her position on the couch opposite and reached out to grasp Velia's hand. "I can't image how awful that must be."
Velia nodded and squeezed Fae's hand briefly before pulling it gently back and folding it in her lap with her other hand. She kept her eyes on them as she continued her story.
"My Dad went missing when I was five. Grandfather said he must have left us like a coward when Mama fell ill and moved abroad. Mother always told me he would never do such a thing and she has always hoped he would return to us."
The others stared, unable to think of anything comforting to say. Each unable to fathom how difficult life must be for Velia given the circumstances. Velia tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear.
"Grandfather was released from prison early for good behaviour and also on compassionate grounds, to care for us. He came and moved us to his home when I was about two years old. Mother was already struggling to care for me due to her illness then."
"Grandfather tutored me all my life so far, he would not have me mingle with muggles or attend a school at that age. I have met a few others our own age. Those that Grandfather deem appropriate company. Kendra Gaunt, Maria Silvu, the Filch brothers, and some purebloods from Romania where Grandfather was born. I was never allowed to visit anywhere unchaperoned." Velia told them.
"You're allowed to come to school here, though." Calix said, half questioning.
"Yes, Grandfather says he has too much to do, too many business meetings and vital travel to continue my schooling and initially wanted to send me to Durmstrang or possibly Koldovstoretz but mother insisted I remain in the country and so eventually he agreed to send me here." Velia answered.
"How come he dropped you off, and you didn't come on the bus?" Arin asked curiously.
"To 'minimise my exposure to unsuitable influences'." Velia quoted, "Grandfather said that a bus full of students without any appropriate supervision was no place for a high-born witch and he would see me safely to school himself."
"So, he's really strict." Iris surmised.
"Very." Velia agreed, "He would have a fit if he saw I had made friends with you all, he isn't a big fan of muggleborns and half-bloods."
"Sounds like he wanted you to be in Kendra's little crew." Calix rolled his eyes.
"Indeed, he would like that very much. I have spoken to Kendra on occasion and that is what I have told him in my letter home. I am just much too busy concentrating on my studies to bother with distractions." She smiled suddenly, eyes twinkling with mischief. The expression transformed Velia's whole face and Iris couldn't help but laugh.
"Do you want to pretend in public that we aren't friends?" Arin asked suddenly, "I mean, what if Kendra starts telling her parents and they tell your grandfather that you're hanging out with us?"
"Oh no," Velia waved the suggestion away. "I am not concerned. I will just tell him it is a social experiment so I can observe and learn the differences between a properly brought-up witch or wizard, and those from what he would consider a lesser background."
"If you're sure? We don't want to get you into any trouble." Arin was concerned.
"I am sure. It will be fine." Velia confirmed.
"Where do you live, then?" Iris asked her.
"Grandfather owns a waterfront house in Sydney, in the same area as the Gaunts. There are a few magical homes there, the Muggles think it's a nature reserve and there are all kinds of muggle repellant and security charms over the whole area."
"You guys drove all the way over from Sydney?" Calix asked incredulously, "That must have taken days!"
"No," Velia chuckled, "Grandfather Floo'd us to the Mayor's offices in Rocky Road, then we flew down here in a car he borrowed from the Mayor." She explained.
"You what? Flew to Rocky Road then flew here in a car?" Iris was confused.
"Not flew, floo." Fae explained, "You basically throw floo powder into a fireplace and say the name of the place you're going then step into the fire. It spits you out the other side where you wanted to go. It's a very fast way to travel."
"And nobody gets burned? You can go anywhere?"
"Nobody gets burned, its magical fire – that is what the powder is for." Velia giggled.
"And not just anywhere, the fireplace you want to go to has to be connected to the network, and open for visitors." Fae clarified. Iris considered this as Calix asked about the flying car.
Eventually the bell to signal the end of morning classes and the start of the lunch hour rang and the five of them rose from their seats, each feeling much more cheerful. One by one, they climbed down the spiral staircase and headed to the new location of the Main Hall.
Fae, Velia and Calix led the way, discussing the Coronavirus pandemic and exchanging opinions on whether or not the wizarding world needed to be concerned. Arin and Iris brought up the rear, talking about flying cars and the possibilities that opened up.
Iris noticed that they were tailing further behind their friends but when she went to hurry to catch them, Arin reached out and touched her arm.
"What about the Cove?" they asked in a low voice, glancing ahead to ensure the others weren't paying attention. "Should we tell Velia?"
"We did promise to keep it between just the four of us that found it…" Iris responded, unsure what the answer should be.
"But Velia is our friend now, won't she feel left out if we have a secret and don't share it?"
"She would. I know I would. But on the other hand, we all promised. And we're friends with Eddie too and haven't told him."
"I guess." Arin chewed their bottom lip, uncertain.
"Let's check with the others when we can, if we are going to tell her about it I think it should only be if all four of us agree." Iris suggested. Arin nodded in agreement.
Lunch was noisier than breakfast had been, as most students knew how to find the Hall fairly easily by now. Not to mention, the magpies were back and the Hall's noise level always went up a few decibels when they fluttered in.
There was no opportunity to speak to Fae and Calix without Velia hearing through lunch, so Iris put the Cove out of her mind for the moment. Once seated, Iris found herself next to Hugo who squeezed in between her and Brianna Fraser. He grinned at them, his ice blue eyes and white-blonde hair quite startling up close.
"So, I hear you all met a Boggart?" he quizzed, "What did it look like?"
"I'm not telling you what my worst fears are, thanks." Iris snipped back, affronted.
"Nah! Not what it turned into, what did it look like before it turned into anything?" he clarified, unbothered by her tone.
"Um…"
"Don't be stupid, Hiphip. Nobody knows what Boggarts look like before they take a form." Another boy Iris couldn't remember the name of said from across the table and two seats further up.
"Oh, right." Hugo responded cheerily, "Never mind then. Was the choccy any good? Got any left?" he asked Iris, unrepentant. Surprised by this sudden change of tack Iris couldn't think what to say right away. Fortunately, she was saved from needing to reply by the approach of Mr Giovanni.
"Ms Teale told me about you being out of bounds, this morning Hugo." Their Defense teacher stopped and folded his arms.
"Shame, bro." Hugo grinned up at him, "I was hoping she forgave and forgot."
"No such luck. I also know this is the fourth time this week you've been somewhere you shouldn't be. Do you have a bowl problem we should know about?"
"No, sir. Just a delicate constitution." Hugo responded, unconcerned.
"I see. Detention with me at 4pm please. Meet me here." Mr Giovanni responded dryly.
"OK, sir." Hugo agreed readily, flipped their teacher a lazy salute then got up out of his seat and settled himself further along the Uluru table with his usual friends.
"How are you five doing?" Mr Giovanni asked Iris and the others. They all told him they were much better, thank you and ready for afternoon classes. Mr Giovanni looked over them one last time as though assessing for himself if they were indeed recovered and fit for class before nodding and moving on.
"Where was Hugo that he got detention?" Calix wanted to know.
"Apparently he was caught coming out of the girl's toilets upstairs early this morning." Sarissa overheard and answered him.
"Why was he in there?"
"Who knows." Sarissa shrugged before taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Oh! I heard earlier that Salome Burton was given detention!" Brianna Fraser suddenly joined in the conversation.
"Salome?" Josiah repeated, shocked. Sarissa began choking on her mouthful of sandwich. He helpfully reached over and pounded her on the back, dislodging Bertie who flapped his wings to regain his balance and resettled on Josiah's shoulder with an annoyed "Oi!"
"I know, right?" Brianna replied.
"Who?" Fae asked, glancing at her older cousin.
"Salome Burton is Year 9, same as us." Brianna explained, pointing to herself, Josiah and Sarissa who was now wiping her streaming eyes and reaching for a glass of water.
"She's a total teacher's pet. She's nice and all but a huge nerd, and always obeys each and every rule to the letter."
"Why does she have detention? What could she have possibly done?" Josiah asked Brianna who was enjoying sharing this juicy piece of gossip.
"Myrtle Crane spotted her wearing shorts." Brianna replied. "She was already pissy because her office is now in one of the sheds out by the Owlery and Salome was the first student to cross the stroppy old bat's path."
"Oh lordy." Sarissa interjected, finally having cleared her throat and got her voice back. "Poor Salome. I hope her parents don't go too hard on her about this."
"What's so bad about wearing shorts?" Iris asked.
"Did shorts appear anywhere on your school uniform list?" Brianna asked rhetorically. "It's against the dress code, technically. Girls are supposed to wear skirts and only boys can wear shorts."
"That's dumb." Calix stated, Arin and Fae, both wearing shorts nodded fervently.
"Most of the teachers don't really care but when Myrtle is in a bad mood, she will get you on any stupid little rule she possibly can." Brianna muttered darkly. "She tried to give Celeste detention once for not answering when spoken to, and she knows Celeste is deaf and hadn't even realised Myrtle was behind her. My Dad came and yelled at Brocklehurst about it when he found out."
"Am I going to get into trouble?" Fae asked, glancing around nervously.
"Just stay out of Myrtle Crane's way and you should be fine." Sarissa advised. "Shouldn't be too hard now her office has been banished to the sheds."
A few students sniggered. Clearly, Ms Crane was extremely unpopular amongst the student body.
That afternoon, they thoroughly enjoyed their Herbology class. The seedlings were growing and the Snapwood Ferns which grew quicker than the others were nearly ready for their first harvest. They spent time checking on and caring for their growing plants before Betty called them back into Shadehouse one to introduce them to a new plant none of them had seen before – the Sugarpop Cherry.
Their excellent mood from the afternoon was ruined shortly after the end of classes. Iris, Fae, Velia, Calix and Arin were walking together chatting happily heading to the Hall for an afternoon snack, when a gruff voice stopped them in their tracks on the lower veranda.
"May I ask why you two are not in correct uniform?" They turned to see a staff member they had seen around the school often enough but never had a class with, Mr Harrow the stern Arithmancy teacher, approaching. None of them knew what to say.
"Well?" he demanded. "I want to know why you two girls are wearing shorts, and your skirt is rolled much too short." He glared at them. Iris hastily unrolled the waistband of her school skirt so it fell just past her knees again and smoothed it down. The old man nodded approvingly.
"I am non binary, sir." Arin replied politely.
"I have neither the time nor the patience for that nonsense." Mr Harrow snapped. "You might have been exposed to all kinds of modern ideas at home but here at this school, we follow tradition. You are a young lady and I expect you to behave as such."
Arin blushed fiercely and looked down to try and hide the tears that suddenly pooled in their eyes. Iris' mouth dropped open in outrage.
"Now, I shall allow you three off with a warning this time seeing as school is finished for the day. But mark my words, there will be consequences should I catch any of you not following dress code again." And with that, he passed them and continued on into Nyambi House.
"Are you OK?" Iris was already wrapping an arm around Arin's shoulders. Arin sniffed and wiped their eyes, fighting to control their emotions.
"What an arseho-" Calix hissed but was interrupted by Velia.
"He sounds just like Grandfather." She said in disgust.
"C'mon, nobody will say anything now classes are done for the day." Fae said gently, and with them all doing their best to reassure and cheer Arin up they made their way to the Hall for afternoon tea.
"What's up with you?" Josiah asked them when they joined him and some of the others for a snack in the Hall.
"Mr Harrow." Fae growled. "Had a go at us for wearing shorts and basically told Arin there's no such thing as being non-binary."
"He didn't!" Sarissa interjected, having heard as she approached. "Report him! I'll come with you if you like…"
"No, don't." Arin replied, having regained control of their face and tear-ducts. "I want to do Arithmancy in a few years, and I don't want him to hate me before I even start his class."
"Are you sure? Because I know Mrs Brocklehurst won't let that slide." Sarissa asked.
"I am sure. Besides, he's just one grumpy old fart. I don't care." Arin sniffed and attempted a watery smile.
Iris was pretty certain Arin cared a great deal, but she respected her friend's decision to handle it themselves and not involve the Headmistress. For now.
"He and Crane have been looking pretty cosy this year." Josiah pondered, "I bet the miserable old bat and the miserable old coot have been exchanging ideas on how to make most of us as miserable as they are."
"Wouldn't surprise me." Iris replied, watching as Mr Giovanni crooked a finger at Hugo who was now at a different table to follow him to detention. An older girl wearing shorts also followed, looking dejected and Iris supposed she must be Salome Burton.
The new and thus far unknown location of their secret passage to their secret cove had been playing on Iris' mind on and off all day but it wasn't until that evening when she found herself alone in the girls' bathroom with Fae that Iris finally had a chance to talk to her about whether or not they should bring Velia in on the secret.
"What do you think?" she asked her friend as she toweled her hair dry.
"It's a tough one." Fae acknowledged. "To be fair, we don't know Velia all that well yet and we did promise to keep it between just the four of us who found it."
"Yeah we did." Iris allowed.
"I asked Calix earlier, and he feels much the same. We should keep it to ourselves for now and I guess re-evaluate later on. Especially about the mermaid, she clearly doesn't want a bunch of kids hunting around the coast looking for her." Fae went on.
"OK, I think that works." Iris agreed, "We don't even know if we can find the entrance again anyway."
"I had an idea about that, actually." Fae turned, her expression excited.
"Yeah?"
"Well, even though the school is all moved around, the secret entrance to our Common Room is exactly the same – a candlestick with the eagle etched on the base, we use it the same way to summon the spiral staircase."
"Yes, true!" Iris suddenly caught on to what Fae was suggesting.
"I asked Eddie at recess and he said their method of entering Kakadu is also the same though he wouldn't tell me what it was, so they can find their common room again. So I think it's fair to assume that all secret entrances have the same thing to mark the entrance, and the same way of opening it even if they're in new locations."
"Fae, you genius!" Iris squealed and hugged her friend swiftly. "So we just keep an eye out for the ocean frieze and make sure somebody has a shell with them!"
"Exactly." Fae confirmed with a grin.
"You better hurry up and cast that waterproof charm on the pouch Arin's mum sent." Iris laughed, "We will need to give it as a gift soon after all."
For the next couple of weeks, they grew accustomed to the new layout of the school. It didn't really surprise Iris that they didn't ever find out who tried to map the school and made it change around but it seemed that whoever it was had learned their lesson as the school didn't rearrange itself again.
The weather continued hot though the worst sting of the summer (or Birak as Fae called it) had faded from the sun and some evenings and early mornings were just about cold enough for a warmer layer as the season of Bunuru came to a close with the month of March and Djuran began at the start of April.
The friends had been keeping a close eye out for the ocean frieze which hopefully marked the opening of their secret passage but they had yet to find it. Iris was beginning to think that the mermaid had probably moved on by now and they wouldn't see her again.
April 1st fell on a Wednesday and they awoke to the usual ocean-views from every window Nyambi possessed. It was a bright, sunny day and the perfect weather for harvesting the Seathistles. Betty Kitur had promised a rearrangement of their schedule for the day so that they'd have Herbology at sunset in order to complete their harvest at the optimal time and observe their glowing leaves.
This meant that they all had a free period right after lunch. Velia wanted to go to the Library to research rare illnesses in magical people and Fae offered to go with her. The others were going on a serious hunt for the entrance to their secret cove.
Iris was washing her hands in the Uluru girl's toilets before heading out to breakfast, chatting with Velia and Fae when the humming began. The sound seemed to come from the cubicles behind them. Within moments it had escalated into a rousing rendition of a song unfamiliar to Iris and her two friends.
She froze, staring as the toilet lids began to snap open and shut in perfect sychnonisation and she realised half amused, half in horror that it was the toilets themselves producing the sound.
'E Ihowa Atua
O Nga iwi matou
Ata whakarangona…'
"What the hell…?" Iris heard Fae gasp out between hysterical giggles. The nearest toilet lid clapped enthusiastically, a surprisingly fair baritone voice emanating from the bowl.
Velia, who had been combing her hair nearby squeaked in surprise. "Are they… are they actually singing?"
The door to the bathroom swung open revealing Sarissa and Brianna who goggled in amazement. "What did you do?" Sarissa demanded.
"Nothing!" Fae replied, "They just started doing it on their own!"
Once in the Uluru Common Room, Calix hurried over and asked if their toilets had started singing by chance? Everyone could hear the now muffled strains of the song in the Common Room so it was safe to assume all the toilets in Uluru were similarly occupied.
"Why can't I go to a normal school?" Brick, Sarissa's fellow Prefect asked rhetorically as he ambled past, running a hand through his messy hair making it stand on end.
The volume rose as they descended the spiral staircase and made their way to breakfast. On the way, Iris poked her head into one of the girl's bathrooms on the ground level then withdrew nodding. Those toilets were also singing in fine voice and increasing volume.
The chorus was a little quieter in the Hall, especially as nearly the whole school body was already there and talking about the insanity of singing toilets in every dorm. Iris couldn't stop giggling when she learned Eddie had been sitting on one when it began humming. Eddie himself was torn between mortification and hilarity as he recounted the experience.
Everyone in the Hall stopped dead when the doors to the toilets alongside the Hall flung themselves open and the volume increased again for a rousing final chorus of the song they'd been hearing all morning.
'May our mountains ever be,
Freedom's ramparts on the sea
Make us faithful unto thee…' they bellowed in perfect harmony.
The owls that had flown in to deliver the morning's mail rose and flapped about panicked as the final few lines of the song in sensational acapella were belted out at top volume.
'Working out Thy glorious plan
God defend New Zealand.'
Silence fell.
"HUGO RAYMOND IHAKA!" Mr Giovanni thundered. As one, the entire student body pivoted to look at Hugo who climbed up onto his seat, and then onto the Uluru table where he took a slow, deliberate bow.
Somebody, somewhere in the Hall, began to clap.