Moiraine lifted the covering from the tray with a trembling hand. There it was, the dreaded food that gave her so much trouble lately. She knew Nynaeve healed her and there was nothing to fear, but the worry was still there, at the edge of her mind. Thom did not push. He lifted two metal cups with water from the pitcher and prepared two servings of leaves – one of tea and one of the mix given to him by Nynaeve. Moiraine grabbed the cups one at a time, to heat up the water to boil so the teas could start steeping.

"There it goes," she said before taking a piece of cheese and swallowing.

Thom, she could feel, was as anxious as her. He could have asked, but he would know better through the bond. Then they were both cautious when some discomfort appeared, but nothing like before. She reached for bread, then some fruit. Thom hugged her when her stomach actually grumbled in want of more food and she was ready to fill it.

They sat on the cot with the tray between them and plucked small bites into their mouths. Thom hardly took his eyes off her and with what she could feel in the bond she still wondered whay did he fight her if he was this worked up.

"Maybe you should stop now, Moiraine," he said when she reached for another piece of bread. "We can eat more later, after a nap."

"You're probably right."

She was not used to eating this much. It would do her well to pace herself. Thom handed her the cup and she sniffed at the rising steam. Thom paused, looking at her, but she was already determined to do what was needed. She channeled to take some of the heat down and drank, almost without stopping. It was a little bitter, but tasted better than she suspected it might. In fact, she wouldn't be opposed to another serving if she got one. Thom took the cup, dumped the remnants of the herbs and refilled the cup with water. He added normal tea to boiled liquid and put it down for steeping. When he turned back to her, he was holding the glass jar from Nynaeve.

"Do you think you can take me applying this now, before we lay down?" he asked. "We can do this later, but I would like to start as soon as possible, just like Nynaeve said to do."

She turned her back to him, not trusting to use the words. He understood, though, and started untying her dress. He was slow and methodical, taking his time. She could feel his eyes on every inch of her skin, that came into view as he pulled her shift down to her waist.

She felt and heard his sharp intake of breath as he saw her back.

"Moiraine," he whispered, leaning his forehead on her arm, "this are no blemishes. Those are bruises."

She turned and put her forehead against his. He was sad, almost scared. Something skin to disgust was raising inside his chest.

"They are new." The simple statement to which she could only nod. "Light, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. No wonder you were not eager…"

"No!" she said, wanting to stop him from blaming himself. "It is not your fault. You couldn't have been any gentler. It's just me. My body being treacherous."

She stood up and let both of the garments fall to the floor. She knew after Nynaeve's examination that she did not look great, but then Thom needed to know as well. A strangely logical part of her mind reminded that she had just stood up without problem. She was getting a little stronger already.

She sat down after a while, determined to do what needed to be done to ease Thom's mind.

"I seem to get bruises from any number of things that should not cause them," she said. "I guess one of the things Nynaeve gave for me is supposed to help with that."

She sat back down with her bare back to Thom. He needed time to take the image in. There were surely marks where he hugged her and anchored his hand when they slept. Moiraine could not read him right now, as the bond was silent and it unnerved her. Then Thom started gently running his palms over her skin, barely touching, but soothing more than she thought possible. Then she felt a cold sensation and it took her a moment to understand it bust be a salve, carefully applied to her skin.

"You need to either tell me how you feel or unmask the bond, woman," Thom said. "I know you might want to keep some things to yourself, but I really want to know all the bad as well as the good."

"What do you mean?"

She was surprised. She did not want to conceal anything right now. On the other hand she didn't feel him as clearly as before.

"You really don't know…" Thom sounded astonished. He dropped the jar on the bed and she could hear him wiping his hands on the cloth before he shifted and sat in silence for a moment before continuing. "Do you feel my knee now?"

"Your knee?"

"I do not claim to know anything useful about the Bond, woman. Light knows I've skipped the lessons I should get. But is it possible that you do something to it when you're upset? Or embarrassed?

Moiraine wanted to say he was unreasonable. That no one used the One Power unknowingly. That it took work and knowledge of the knots to wield that power. And yet the oath had choked her before any word left her mouth. Thom rested his head against hers and his hands touched hers gently. No pushing, just steadiness, while she was seeking anything inside her that could be blocking the bond. She was a Wilder, she should know better.

"Steady, woman." Thom held her closer, not caring about his shirt getting stained by the already applied salve. "It's fine. I've got you."

He did, he really did. There was a steady beat of his heart and calm radiating through her now. Her body hurt, especially where he applied any kind of pressure with his embrace. She would have screamed at him to not let go if she could only find her voice amidst the sudden flood of emotions and sensations. She didn't have to. Thom held fast, anchoring her for a long time.

"You can let go now," she said when the emotions dwindled to a dull throbbing and the pain was all that seemed acute. "Thank you, my dearest husband."

Thom smiled against her neck and pulled back. She could hear him pick up the jar and the cool sensation on her skin appeared again.

Thom took his time putting the strange smelling, thick cream onto Moiraine's body. He made sure to cover the whole of discoloured skin, adding a small margin to each. It took some concentration to make sure not to push down where it could hurt, but the bond definitely made it possible. He tried to remember where he grabbed to keep her still a moment ago and applied the medicine there too, as a precaution.

He traced the angry red welts that came up in the place where the seams of her underdress got pushed tighter with his thumb and Moiraine let out a pleasured sigh. His were a gleeman hands, hardened in places from the metal strings, but he knew very well how to use even that to his and his lover's advantage. This was no time for passion, though, so he kissed her neck and continued going lower with the salve.

She shivered when he barely touched an almost black, bug one on her right hip. Something felt strange, but he continued, probing the bond, hoping it was just a minor uneasiness. It was not. Touching her again on her hip, he felt Moiraine stiffen, her knuckles cracking. Right before her emotions went almost blank he almost chocked on her… fear and disgust.

"Moiraine?"

"It's nothing important. Go on."

He was there, with his hand over the spot, but it didn't feel right. An hour ago Moiraine was almost eager for him, now she felt cold and distant.

"Go on, please?"

Her small, pleading voice urged him on and he pushed himself to continue. He knew she pushed herself not to veil the bond, which flickered weirdly, even for him. The veil was gone, but Moiraine got dejected. The pain was there, but her emotions got quiet. He wondered as he worked, if she even knew she did shut her emotions.

He finished with applying the salve to every bruise he could find and helped Moiraine pull her shift back on. She was stiff and tired. He would bet both were the effects of trying to reign in her emotions. She flinched once again when he moved his hands over her hips. When he went up, he did so deliberately slow, to note any response she might give. He kept thinking of their earlier entrance, to not alarm her, but he needed information.

Thom ended his way up her body, putting his hands on both sides of her face and laying a sweet, delicate kiss on her mouth, then her forehead.

"Let's get down," he said. "We could both use some rest."

She nodded and allowed him to help her lay down. He laid down after her, making sure they were both covered properly before pulling her gently into his arms. He could feel her gratitude. She was not going to break physically, but she clearly needed it to get better.

"What happened to you, Moiraine?" he asked in a whisper when their hearts beat slowly and they were almost asleep. "What happened to you after I left Tear?"

"What needed to happen to bring us to this moment."

He took time analysing the statement word by word. Nothing he could really hang onto.

"Will you tell me someday?"

"I don't know."

He couldn't take how broken she sounded and felt admitting that. He didn't know how to help, so he just focused on his love and hugged her tighter until they both fell asleep.