A/N: Thank you to Black Dragon Master, Guest, AsahixMe, Sharpe, IrishDreamer4, Lightbrightfury, CrazyPhenom, devilfiredog18, and Aquamirra for reviewing! At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I appreciate and am grateful for all your feedback.

Another long chapter today. Be aware that there's been a bit of a timeskip since the last chapter.

Time check: Winter, early 176 AG (20 months post-Book 4 and 4 months since chapter 28)

29. Keep my head above water; don't let me drown, it gets harder

Minsu should be here.

That's all he can think. He knows — he knows what he will see — or rather, what he won't see — every time he looks up at the desk in front of his — but he can't stop himself from glancing up every few minutes, hoping that by some miracle the happy-go-lucky waterbender will materialise in front of him.

But Minsu won't, will he? Because Minsu should be here, but he isn't, and it's all his fault…

With effort, he turns his gaze back to the documents on his desk. The words on the reports blur together; the only letters that stand out are those spelling out the name of the one (the only) perp who matters right now.

Saroq.

Red Monsoon waterbender, high-ranking capo, chief of the triad's extortion policy in the Little Water Tribe District, and the one who —

Don't think about that, he tells himself firmly. He can't afford to dwell on it now (he resists the urge to look at Minsu's desk again, but the emptiness lurks on the periphery). He has to find Saroq, bring him to justice, and make him pay.

For Minsu.

Word has already gone round the station that something happened during the Triad Squad's latest sting operation — the one organised by the squad's newest sergeant. RCPD officers give him a wide berth, eyeing him with sympathy and dismay. Xien and Juno, the two most senior members of the squad, are dealing with the fallout (because clearly they realised that he is unable to). Other squad members work silently at their own desks, unwilling to test the waters after losing one of their own.

He ignores them all, blocking out everything except his own work, concentrating with fearsome focus on his target. He works well into the night, cross-referencing reports and compiling a list of possible hideouts Saroq might have disappeared to. Somewhere in his foggy brain, he realises he's backsliding into unhealthy habits, but after what happened to Minsu he can't bring himself to care. He is immensely thankful that Lin is attending some political shindig with President Raiko and General Iroh, or she'd be on his case for sure.

At 10pm, when the only people left at the station are those who are on the night shift (which he is not), he is made aware that while Lin may not be keeping an eye on him tonight, someone else definitely is.

As he rubs tired eyes and reaches for another file, Juno's hand thumps on the stack, preventing him from doing so.

"We're leaving," she asserts, grey eyes giving no quarter.

"But I need to —"

"No buts. Your shift ended four hours ago." She resists his attempts to tug the file out and leans over to open his drawer and withdraw his keys.

"Hey!"

"You're in no state to ride your bike," she tells him bluntly, shaking the keys in front of him. "We'll take my car, and I'll hang on to these until I can trust you not to do something stupid."

"I'd just walk," he mutters.

"Walk where? Home?"

"Where else would I walk to?" he retorts.

Her eyes narrow. "The hospital?"

He stiffens. "Juno…I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't…face him. It was my operation, and it was my fault that —"

"It was a sting that didn't go according to plan and had unintended consequences," Juno interrupts firmly. "It happens. We deal with it. You didn't do anything wrong and no one's pointing fingers at you." She adds significantly, "The important thing is no one died."

Minsu nearly did, his mind whispers ominously.

"We're going to the hospital." Her tone softens. "He's been asking for you."

All his protests dissipate in an instant, even if his misgivings remain. Who is he to refuse that request?

The short, silent ride in Juno's Satomobile gives him time to clear his head. In his mind, he goes over last night's events.

Their target is a Red Monsoon cell deep in the Little Water Tribe District. Minsu has been attending meetings posing as a triad initiate for weeks, and tonight is supposed to be the night he meets Saroq, the leading capo of this branch of the Red Monsoons. The plan is simple: meet Saroq, receive a job assignment, and therefore prove Saroq is running illegal extortion rackets, at which point they will move in to arrest anyone at the meeting.

Minsu walks in confidently while the rest of the squad lie in wait outside. It takes all of two minutes for them to realise their waterbender has been made.

They move in immediately, but the damage has already been done. In the ensuing bending battle he sees Minsu pinned to the wall by an ice spike.

He squeezes his eyes shut against the image. I should have sent someone else.

Xien had had reservations about sending in Minsu, given the latter's prior history with the triad. He himself had been hesitant — but as Minsu pointed out, most of the leadership from the time he was part of the Red Monsoons were gone now; it was unlikely he would be recognised. And since Minsu was their only waterbender, and since Saroq's operations in Little Water Tribe were becoming too nefarious to ignore, it was deemed an acceptable risk to take.

It had backfired, and Minsu had paid the price.

Juno parks the car expertly next to the hospital, and they both hop out. He's never been here before, so Juno leads the way through the corridors until they reach their destination. She confers briefly with one of the healers, who nods and allows them in.

Inside the room are six beds, but only one is occupied. Minsu sits propped up against pillows, concentrating intently on his bare feet. It looks like he's trying to slowly and deliberately move one individual toe at a time in a smooth, fluid motion — but, true to form, he quickly gives up on the tedious affair and starts jiggling his leg from side to side instead.

"Are you that bored?" Juno asks in some amusement.

"You try entertaining yourself without the use of either arm." Minsu catches sight of him and positively beams. "Mako! You came!"

He manages a wan smile. "Hey, Minsu. How're you doing?"

"I'm bored out of my mind, but other than that, I guess I'm okay."

He scans the young detective's face, trying to find any trace of a lie. Though slings wrap around both of Minsu's arms, the injuries they cover are wildly different. Minsu's left arm was broken from the impact of Saroq slamming him into the wall — it has already been repositioned and healed well, and probably won't be in its sling much longer. His right shoulder, however, bears the wound that threatened his life. Saroq's ice spike had pierced through that shoulder, severing tendons and nerves and causing a dangerous amount of bleeding; his right arm will likely be unusable for some time.

He winces in empathy at the thought of the physical therapy Minsu will have to go through, the struggle it will take to get that arm working again. He knows all too well what a long road lies ahead of the waterbender.

"Are you in any pain?"

"Nothing I can't handle," Minsu quips lightly — but he falters at the grave look he receives. "Really, I'm fine. The shoulder throbs a little, obviously — but it doesn't hurt that much. The healers did a good job."

He opens his mouth, but he doesn't know what to say. He wants to apologise — beg forgiveness for getting Minsu hurt this way, for not having a better contingency plan — but he doesn't know how to start the conversation, and he's acutely aware of Juno's presence on the other side of the bed.

Juno chooses that moment to announce, "I'm going to get some tea. I might be a while. Minsu, talk to Mako — and make sure he doesn't leave before I get back." She gazes sternly at him to make sure he knows she's still intent on driving him home after this, then slips out the door.

Juno is probably one of the most perceptive earthbenders he's ever come across. Only Huan comes close to her level of uncanny insight, and Huan isn't as proactive about it. Juno, though, is the type to act on her intuition — immediately. He doesn't know whether to be thankful or not.

Minsu peers at him with furrowed brows. "Jeez, Mako, I thought I was the one in hospital. You look like crap."

"I haven't been sleeping well," he admits. "Not since before…" He pauses, ignoring Minsu's frown, and changes track. "Minsu, I am so sorry about what happened. I never meant for you to get hurt."

Minsu is quick to respond. "I know. You have nothing to be sorry for, Mako — the risks come with the job. And anyway, I wanted to do it."

"Yes, but I can't help but feel —" He stops himself again.

"What?" Minsu's earnest blue eyes are boring into his, and he gives in with a defeated sigh.

"If it were someone else who planned the op — someone like Xien or Juno — you probably wouldn't be here."

Minsu blinks at him disbelievingly. "Wait, wait — you think this is your fault?"

"Well, I —"

"It is not your fault," Minsu insists forcefully. "Spirits, of course it's not! No one could've anticipated that Saroq would remember me from a chance — a chance encounter — two years ago. Even if Xien had planned the op, I'd still have ended up here — because you did everything Xien would have. You planned every detail as carefully as you could — you made all the right calls — and you got me out when things went south."

"Barely," he qualifies. "We barely got you medical attention in time. Your arm is screwed up and that's gonna be hell to rehabilitate…"

"I'm alive, aren't I?" Minsu retorts. "I'll deal with the arm. Trust me, I prefer that to being dead."

"You say that now, but you don't know how hard it's going to be, Minsu." His left hand clenches reflexively. "How hard you'll have to work to regain full use of your muscles and nerves."

"Maybe," Minsu agrees calmly. "But I know for a fact it's doable."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you did it."

That brings him up short, as he realises, for the first time, how much Minsu looks up to him.

His dumbfounded emotions must have shown on his face, because Minsu scoffs wryly and says, "Did you think the only thing I learned from you was how to be a cop?"

He works to find his voice again. "I wouldn't say I'm the best role model, Minsu. Do you know how many times I almost gave up entirely?"

Minsu shrugs. "One less time than you decided to try again."

For the second time in as many minutes, he's rendered speechless. He's aware, of course, that his friends' faith in him outstrips his own self-belief — but Minsu's childlike, matter-of-fact certainty takes it to a whole other level.

He exhales shakily. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I really am, Mako," Minsu assures him. "The healer says there shouldn't be permanent damage. I've got some recovery work ahead of me, sure, but it's nowhere near as bad as your arm was — and if you could get through that, I can get through this. I am fine," he emphasises again.

He decides to accept that. There is still weight on his mind, but at least he can be assured that Minsu will be all right. He's already handling it better than I am. In that regard, Minsu is stronger than he is. Come to think of it, Bolin, too, is able to take a lot of things in stride. Does a naturally sunny disposition make life's hard knocks easier to deal with?

"Are you okay?"

He shouldn't be surprised by the question, but he is. "I'm managing." Not very well.

Minsu's frown is back. "Juno told me you've been working yourself to the bone trying to get Saroq."

"He's still out there."

"Yeah, but you dying of exhaustion isn't going to help us catch him any faster." Minsu eyes him now with real concern. "Mako…you'd tell someone, right, if you weren't doing well? If there's something you can't handle?"

He nods automatically. "I still see my mind healer on occasion."

When was the last time, though? He hasn't spoken to Erin in a long while. He's been so busy planning and executing the sting operation — so determined to prove himself as a sergeant — and then so worried about Minsu, so driven to track down Saroq — that he's let quite a few things fall by the wayside. He's been sinking again, he realises with dismay — sinking back into the hollow chasm where nothing exists but work and his own tortured thoughts. Sleep was the first thing he had sacrificed, followed by glassmaking, lunches with Asami, and time with Zoya.

He feels especially guilty about the last two. Asami had accepted his decision without a thought, telling him to call her when he could resume their Friday meet-ups again (had it been his imagination, or had she also seemed distracted — almost relieved? — when he told her?). Zoya had been understanding, had done her part as a supportive girlfriend — dropping by the station with packed lunches, sending him cheery notes decorated with hearts — but weeks without much in the way of his reciprocation must be bothering her.

He resolves to call her tomorrow and plan a date sometime soon. He shouldn't neglect her.

Even if he is regressing, he refuses to regress that far.

Juno reappears just then, tea presumably drunk. She raises her eyebrows at the both of them.

"Good talk?" she queries.

"Could be better." Minsu still looks worried; he doesn't miss the glance the waterbender trades with Juno, who (unsurprisingly) immediately catches the drift.

"Don't worry, Minsu, I'll keep an eye on him." Juno comes over to fondly ruffle Minsu's hair and leans down to hold a brief whispered conversation. He can't hear what they're saying, but it's clear, from the way they both keep shooting him pointed glances, that they're talking about him.

"Guys, I'm still here." He can't help but feel slightly indignant. Minsu's the one in the hospital and they're ganging up to worry about him?

"So you are," Juno agrees, completely unperturbed. "Minsu, I'd better get him home."

"Yup," Minsu affirms. "Mako, for the love of La, please get some sleep." He hesitates before adding, "And…maybe make an appointment with your mind healer soon."

All right, so they might have good reason to worry, but still…

He huffs. "Fine."

"We'll visit again tomorrow," Juno promises. "And I'll bring you some books when your left arm is free."

"Yes, please."

They say their goodbyes and leave. He follows Juno back to her car. She doesn't say a word, but he knows she's watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm fine."

She purses her lips into a thin line, which makes him believe she's probably heard that from him too many times in recent days.

He doesn't feel like getting into another soul-searching chat right at this moment, so he speaks up again. "Juno…thanks for dragging me out here."

Her expression lifts, and some of the worry in her eyes eases. "You're welcome. Anytime you need your ass hauled somewhere, just let me know."

He actually cracks a smile at that. "Will do."

He's sinking, but maybe he doesn't have to swim back up alone.

A/N: How many of you thought I'd killed Minsu? And yes, this is going to have repercussions.

Side note: when I created the Triad Squad members I didn't realise they'd be playing such a big role. My apologies to those who would rather not see OCs or OC-centric chapters. I assure you canon characters are still my focus, but for this particular period (and the next couple of chapters), it is the OCs who are present, for various reasons. Given that Mako hardly had meaningful interactions with anyone save Team Avatar (and occasionally Wu and Kai) in canon, when I decided to expand upon his life I needed to fill said life with other people who would fit naturally, instead of trying to shoehorn conversations with characters like Tenzin, Jinora, or Opal. The Triad Squad in particular plays a role that no one in canon possibly could (I cannot see Lin doing what Juno did here).

Once we get past this small mini-arc, there will be plenty of canon characters back in the mix, and they will be hanging around a lot more often. At the very least, I do hope Minsu, Juno, Erin, and Zoya are intriguing enough in their own right to keep their interactions with Mako compelling for you all.

Lyric is from 'Head Above Water' by Avril Lavigne.

See you next week!