A/N: Wheee, a weekend update!

Thank yous today go to BlackDragonMaster, Tertius711, Sharpe, MasterKriebel, Guest, IrishDreamer4, AsahixMe, devilfiredog18, CrazyPhenom, and Aquamirra!

33. The drinks bring back all the memories of everything we've been through

 The whisky burns as it goes down his throat.

"I thought I might find you here."

He looks up from his drink and sees her: svelte, green-eyed, black-haired. Asami drops into the seat next to him at the bar and orders a fire scotch. It's a strong drink, which tips him off as to the kind of conversation she's anticipating.

It still shocks him when she starts it.

"I broke up with Korra."

He spits out the sip he's just taken. Asami observes him patiently as he chokes and splutters and coughs out the errant droplets from his windpipe.

"What happened?" he manages to ask.

Before answering, Asami throws back her scotch and orders another. "We're just not meant for each other." The admission is more sorrowful than bitter.

"Why do you say that?" He thinks he has an idea why, but he doesn't want to make things worse.

Asami sighs, and nurses her second drink more slowly. "Have you ever been with someone, and you just know that their heart's not in it anymore?"

"Um." He can't honestly say he has. He thinks that he might be the one whose heart was not in a relationship…more than once. (Exhibit A being the woman in front of him.)

Asami realises this. "Never mind," she sighs.

As if he needed a bigger guilt trip piled onto him.

"Why are you coming to me about this?"

She levels him with a piercing look. "You're the only other person who knows what it's like to break up with Korra."

Shit. He can't deny that.

"Well, I guess we can both drink to failed relationships," he says, tipping his glass towards her. "I broke up with Zoya." (And there's Exhibit B.)

"I know."

He raises an eyebrow. "How?"

"You're here," she says simply.

Touché.

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?"

Asami's lips twist bitterly. "You and Korra are free."

The thought had briefly occurred to him, yes, but…

"That's not what I want to think about right now."

"That's fair." She clinks her glass against his and they both take a drink, commiserating over their respective breakups.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Bolin said you went out for a drink, but I know Iroh's on patrol around Red Sands for two weeks. You don't go to Crystal Spirits without him, but this place is your solo bar."

He's somewhat startled by how well she knows him, but even more surprised that she was deliberately looking for him.

"Mm," he grunts.

They lapse into silence.

After a moment, Asami speaks again. "I owe you an apology."

"For what?"

"Fridays. I have to admit my heart wasn't in it for the last few weeks before you asked for a break. Things were getting difficult with Korra — and I swear I tried not to, but…"

"You blamed me."

"Yes." Asami is pulling no punches today. That's fine; neither is he.

"Korra was jealous, wasn't she?"

Asami huffs sarcastically. "Like you wouldn't believe. I'm not blind, Mako — I knew she still had feelings for you — but it became really clear when you started dating Zoya." She exhales, abruptly deflating. "To be fair, I don't think Korra realised just how strongly she felt about you until she saw you moving on with someone else." She seems to shrink into herself. "Until she understood that no matter how much she loved me, she'd always love you more."

"Asami…" What can he say? I'm sorry? Somehow he thinks that's not going to cut it right now.

He is sorry, though. Sorry that despite his best efforts, his and Korra's mutual feelings have hurt Asami again.

At least this time his conscience is clear. He's done everything he possibly could not to interfere, while still being true to himself. Even though it has cost him.

Asami can't blame him for this.

She sighs again. "It isn't your fault," she acknowledges. "It's not." She stares morosely into her dwindling drink. "It's just really hard to remember that."

"I know." He hails the bartender and orders another fire scotch, which he pushes towards her. She smiles wanly, swallows the remnants of her current glass, and wraps her fingers around the new one.

"What happened with Zoya?" she asks eventually.

He thinks of the various reasons he could give her. How he knew Zoya loved him, but he didn't love her. How it wasn't fair to keep her in a relationship with no future. How he tried, but couldn't open his heart enough for love to grow. How he could have kept trying, but he knew it wouldn't ever happen.

"My heart wasn't in it."

"I see. When?"

"Two hours ago."

Her eyebrows shoot up. "Oh."

"When did you?" he shoots back.

"Saturday. I just got back from Ba Sing Se."

He vaguely remembers Bolin telling him that Asami had gone over to the Earth Federation to visit Korra, who is finally starting to wrap up her work there.

Guess that didn't work out quite as planned. "What made you do it there?" Maybe it's crossing the line of social niceties, but he's morbidly curious; and he's already concluded that tonight is for both of them to air their grievances — regardless how blunt or unfair.

Asami exhales discontentedly. "It was supposed to be about us spending time together. She was happy to see me, I'm sure — but she was more interested in asking me what was going on back home than actually being with me."

He correctly interprets 'What's going on back home?' to mean 'What's going on with Mako?' "I haven't been writing," he offers.

"Believe me, she noticed. She wanted to know how you were doing. I didn't have much to tell her, since we haven't been lunching." Asami sets her elbow on the bar-top and rests her chin in her hand. "The only thing I could really say for certain — at that time, anyway — was that I thought you were happy with Zoya. That got to her. She tried to hide it, but I could tell. And I just knew."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too."

They sip from their drinks, wallowing in mutual self-pity.

At length, he confesses, "I don't think I'm ready to…start anything new. I didn't love Zoya, but I did have genuine feelings for her."

Asami snorts. "No one's saying you have to rush over to Ba Sing Se to declare your undying love for the Avatar right now. Obviously you should both give it some time." Her expression becomes rueful. "But I'm under no illusions, Mako. Eventually, the two of you will come together."

"You don't know that," he argues. "Feelings alone aren't enough, Asami. There's compatibility and circumstances and past experiences to think about — more so in this case than any other." He sighs defeatedly. "I am so tired of hurting people I care about."

"Mako," Asami says firmly. "I did not break up with Korra so you could both continue to pine and not do anything because you don't want to step on my feelings. For all our sakes, get over yourself and make a fucking move."

He blinks at the force of her tone. "You realise you're basically ordering me to date your ex-girlfriend?"

"I'd like for my giving up my relationship not to be completely pointless, thank you. If I have to be miserable, the two of you might as well be happy."

"Asami," he groans. "I don't want you to be miserable."

She actually gives him a small smile. "You aren't responsible for my happiness, Mako. This was my decision. I couldn't be truly happy with Korra if her heart wasn't completely in our relationship, and I don't think she could be, either. Painful as this is, it's necessary for both of us to move on."

He's still skeptical. "Do you really think me and Korra would work? After everything?"

"I think you'd both be happier trying with each other than settling for other people."

She pauses to let that sink in, and when he still doesn't look convinced, she scowls.

"Look, Mako. You've both come a long way since the first time you dated. And even back then, it's not like you were terrible for each other. You just weren't ready to deal with all the conflicting pressures that came with your jobs — pressures that would have crushed any couple without the maturity to handle them."

"Well, what makes you think we have the maturity now?"

The minute he says it, he knows it's a stupid question. He totally deserves the glare Asami gives him.

"Are you seriously going to sit there and tell me you and Korra haven't grown up in five years?"

He ducks his head in embarrassment. He knows he has — they all have — and he knows he's just looking for excuses at this point. He is unexpectedly, bizarrely reluctant to allow himself to accept that he and Korra finally have a chance to start anew. It makes no sense and it's probably tied up in some mental block Erin is sure to have a fancy word for…but it's there, nonetheless.

Asami frowns. "Mako, why is it so hard for you to believe that you can be happy with Korra?"

"Hell if I know." He chugs the remainder of his whisky and lifts the glass towards the bartender for another refill.

While he broods over his third whisky of the night, Asami chews the swizzle stick that came with her scotch and observes him thoughtfully.

"Oh, I get it. You're afraid to let yourself hope for this." She points her swizzle stick at him. "That's why you don't want to think about it."

Asami's conclusion strikes a chord with him. "Yes," he admits. "That's it." He sighs. "Asami, getting back together with Korra is all I've wanted for years. It took me months to get used to the idea of you and Korra together. And then after that, I spent so long trying to move on, coming to terms with the fact that I lost my chance, that I wouldn't ever get Korra back…I trained myself to accept that, and plan my life around that…and now all of a sudden there's a possibility for me and Korra again…and I don't know what to think."

"You want it," Asami says with conviction. "You do, Mako — I can see it in your eyes. But you're afraid to allow yourself to want it. You don't want to believe you can actually have it, because if you're disappointed again, it's going to crush you." She looks guilty. "It already crushed you once."

He shakes his head. "It wasn't your fault, Asami."

"I know. But it doesn't change the facts."

"No, it doesn't. And I have no damn idea where that leaves me." He presses his knuckles against his forehead. "In my clearer moments, I know I've grown, I know I'll do better — I know that if Korra and I started again now it would probably be much more stable than before — but at other times, I just recall how badly I screwed up before, and I worry that no matter how much I've matured, I could still make the same mistakes again." He knows his anguish is clear in his eyes, but he's beyond caring (whisky helps with that). "I'm not willing to risk something as precious as Korra on my ability to be a better man."

"You have got to stop that."

"What?"

"Stop thinking that you're the reason your relationship with Korra fell apart," Asami tells him sternly. "Yes, you screwed up — but so did Korra. You did things you shouldn't have — but so did Korra. You didn't know how to look after your relationship — but neither did Korra. Can you get that through that hard head of yours?"

She fixes him with a fierce glare, and he stares at her, dumbfounded. Of all people, he didn't think Asami would be the one defending him in that ill-fated relationship.

Something happens then: Asami's tirade breaks through his haze of cynicism and self-recrimination. Erin's been telling him for months that he shouldn't be shouldering all the blame for his past romantic lows — but it's much more convincing coming from a girl he used to date. His perspective abruptly, disorientingly, shifts — he's seeing the past in a new light, finally realising he wasn't the only one who failed in the relationship all those years ago.

Holy fuck.

Asami reaches over and taps him on the head. "Mako, still with me?"

He manages to find his voice. "Yeah."

She gazes at him exasperatedly, but fondly, and settles back down, smiling genuinely at the newfound light in his eyes. "Well, look who's finally getting it."

Her brief levity fades, and her face turns solemn. She wants what she's about to say to be taken seriously.

"Don't let the past define you, Mako. You didn't know what you were doing the first time you were with Korra, but you tried. And speaking as somebody who wishes I got the same amount of effort you gave Korra, that's saying something. So do yourself a favour — stop overthinking this, stop holding back, and let yourself be happy."

Asami downs the rest of her drink and sets her glass on the counter, then waves her swizzle stick at him. "And yes, I am telling you to date my ex-girlfriend. You're welcome."

She pops the swizzle stick back into her empty glass, hops off the barstool, and sashays out of the bar — leaving him with her bar tab (which he figures is the least he owes her), but also something far more precious.

Tonight, in this dim bar, amidst the freshly-broken fragments of two fractured relationships, Asami has left him with memories…and hopes for the future.

A/N: Asami has always struck me as a very understanding person, who cares a lot for her friends but nonetheless stands up for herself. Hence, I feel that once she knows Korra still loves Mako, she would take it one of two ways — if Korra loves Asami more than Mako, Korra and Asami would stay together and Asami would trust Korra not to do anything; if Korra loves Mako more than Asami, Asami would end it, because she's not the kind who would stay in a relationship where she is not her partner's first choice. And yeah, she'd be hurt, and a little mad, but she wouldn't shun either of them - not when both Korra and Mako have done whatever they could (this time round) to be considerate. If Asami didn't ditch them both after the romantic mess in canon, she's not about to ditch them now.

If you'll allow me, I'm gonna pat myself on the back a little here, because I am really happy with the style of this chapter. Reading through it, I really like the abruptness of the narration, and the staccato nature of Asami and Mako's conversation, especially in the first half of the chapter. It just flows so well - and yeah, that's paradoxical, but it does! What do you think?

Lyric is from 'Memories' by Maroon 5. Next update will be our usual Wednesday.