'You're … Maria's niece?'

Victoria nodded. She seemed reluctant to speak, as though she thought one wrong word would cause Shadow to disappear.

Shadow withdrew his hand from beneath hers. 'So? What do you want from me?' His voice tightened. 'An explanation? An apology?'

'My family has already asked far too much of you, Shadow.' Victoria folded her arms over the table and laid her head down. Her magenta hair spilt over her shoulder, and he could see faint hints of blonde at the roots. She traced the words on one of the printed pages that lay between them. Her eyes were the same shade of blue, but they didn't shine like a starry night sky. They welled up with emotion, glittering like ocean water. 'I just wanted to talk to you. But I thought even that might be asking too much.'

Shadow grunted. 'If you wanted to talk to me so badly, then why didn't you attempt to do so sooner?

Victoria placed one hand on the page that contained the front cover of Gerald's journal. 'It wasn't for a lack of opportunity. I've seen you around headquarters before. I've even noticed you pass through here a few times, but you never stayed a second longer than necessary. You were so desperate to leave your past behind … and the last thing I wanted to do was remind you of it.'

She picked up the page containing the back cover by the corner, and the diffused lighting shone through the paper. A label that read 'Property of the Eggman Empire' had been plastered over a sticker of GUN's logo. 'But then I saw you sitting here with a copy of the journal that I recovered from one of Dr Eggman's strongholds. I wondered if something had changed. If you had changed.' The light in her eyes faded. 'But maybe I was wrong.'

Shadow rested one arm on the table. He felt like he was slowly being torn in half. 'You didn't just want to talk.' He held up the scanned note from the inside cover of the journal, forcing her to read her own words. 'You want answers. I can read it in your writing, and I can see it in your eyes. You're desperately hoping that I might be able to give you the insight into Gerald and Maria's lives that the journal couldn't yield.'

'I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to make sense of what happened to us.' Victoria sat up and buried her fingers in her hair, digging them into her scalp. 'The loss of Maria shattered my family, and those of us who weren't alive when it happened can still feel the hairline fractures continuing to spread. We can see the broken moon in the sky every time we leave our homes, for goodness' sake.'

'You can't make sense of something that was senseless to begin with.' Shadow stood up and turned off the banker's lamp with a sharp click. 'Her death was senseless. The tragedy that befell your family was senseless. Nothing I can tell you could ever change that.' He gathered up the papers and fed the white sheaf into a paper shredder beneath the table. Victoria watched in silence as the pages tore into white strips. 'And I couldn't tell you about the past even if I wanted to. My memories are incomplete and unreliable. But even if you find the answers you're looking for, you'll have to live with them for the rest of your life. You'll be better off not knowing what happened.'

'Not all of us can live with not knowing, Shadow.' Victoria looked up at him, and even now, he could see her gaze flickering as she studied him. 'Did you ever scan the inventory ID code on the journal?'

'Why would I have?'

'It reads as "they don't know."' Victoria's expression tightened. 'And we really don't know, do we? We don't know what happened, and we don't know what to do about it.' She pressed her fingertips together and blinked several times. 'I wasn't expecting you to tell me about the past. But I was hoping you could tell me how you've moved on from it.'

'No. I'm the last person you should look to for guidance.'

Victoria bit her lip. 'I thought that shadows could tell you which way to go to find the light.'

Shadow winced, then he folded his arms over the back of his chair. '… You're asking me how I moved on as though you're not already making the same choices that I did.'

Victoria slowly sat upright and looked at him in bewilderment.

Shadow glanced down at the medals on his uniform jacket. 'For whatever reason, you also decided to work for the organisation that murdered your family members. And you threw yourself into your work in order to cope.'

'Are you … judging me?'

'Of course not. Our lines of reasoning were different, but Abraham and I also chose to work for GUN despite everything the organisation did to us. People may judge us for it, but it would be hypocritical of me to do the same to you.'

'It looks like we're more alike than I thought,' Victoria murmured. 'My family doesn't approve of the fact that I decided to work for GUN. My mother tries to be understanding, but my grandparents –'

'Unlike you, anyone who may have shunned me for my choices is now dead. And Abraham is far older than you – his new family may question his decisions, but they've benefited from the protection his position offers far too many times to challenge him. You don't have that luxury.' Shadow stalked around the table and grabbed Victoria by the shoulder, giving her a swift shake. 'We're nothing alike. You still have a family that cares about you, don't you?'

Victoria's gaze flickered. '… I guess so.'

Shadow swore under his breath. 'And you want to risk throwing those connections away for the sake of … what? History?'

Victoria slammed her hands down on the table, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. 'Okay, fine! You're right! I'm not like you! I'm not as strong as you are! I can't live the rest of my life wondering if things would be easier if I understood why they happened!'

'You really are a Robotnik,' Shadow snarled. 'You claim to be a historian, but you're the one letting history repeat itself. Your obsession is going to come at the cost of everyone you've ever loved –'

A sharp crack rang out through the archival department. Shadow found himself staring at the carpet beside the table, and when he touched the side of his face, his gloved hand came away stained with blood.

Victoria stood up, and her chair fell over with a clatter. He looked up at her. Her face was white, and the emotion in her eyes was already fading. Whether it was fear or anger, he couldn't tell. 'S-Shadow, I'm so sorry. I …'

'Why didn't you hit me sooner?'

'H-Huh?'

'I can only assume that you have some attachment to your family name, but you only hit me once I started attacking you personally.' When she didn't respond, he said, 'You're the daughter of Maria's litter sister, aren't you? For all intents and purposes, you should have your father's last name, not your mother's.'

'I should. But sometimes life isn't that simple.'

'It would be simpler if you chose a different name and lived a different life.'

'I'm aware.' Victoria looked away, and her eyes were full of regret. 'Ivo is my first cousin once removed, after all. My immediate family live private lives, but Ivo's notoriety means that he's often the one who people think of when they hear the name "Robotnik".'

'So why do you persist?'

Victoria leaned down, and Shadow stiffened, wondering if she was going to grab him by his jacket's lapels and haul him off the ground. But she wiped the blood from his face with one gloved hand instead. Her touch was surprisingly gentle. 'Because I want to live in a world where that name means something good, like it once did.' She searched his eyes, and her expression twisted. 'I wish –'

Shadow recoiled and stepped back. Fire burst from beneath the soles of his shoes, and his chest began to heave.

Victoria looked crestfallen. 'Oh, Shadow. I may have my blind spots, but I don't want history to repeat itself … and I know that my family has burdened you with enough wishes already.'

His thrusters slowly dimmed, but his whole body was still tense.

'I just wish that things had been different.' Victoria reached up, adjusting the gold clip in her hair. She tried to smile. 'I wish that we could have been friends. But I know I'm just a reminder of everything you want to forget. I couldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again.'

She wasn't wrong. She wasn't just Victoria – she was Maria's niece, and that connection could never be severed. He had left his past behind, but Victoria was no mere reminder of what he had been through. She was painfully alive – a part of his present – whether he wanted to accept that reality or not.

Shadow's hand twitched, and he lifted it slightly. 'No matter how you feel about the past, you shouldn't let it control your actions.' He couldn't bring himself to offer his hand to her, but something was tugging on him, pulling him into orbit … and he was so tired of fighting gravity.

Even if he had left his past behind, he would never be able to completely avoid being reminded of it. There was always a risk that he would get hurt, even despite his best efforts. So why should he spend the rest of his life trying to outrun the shadow of Space Colony Ark? If he truly valued his time, then why should he waste it on running away?

Victoria reached out, and her fingertips brushed his. Then her knees hit the carpet, and her jacket collar dug into his neck as she hugged him. He took a shallow breath. She smelled like hair dye and old books. 'Thank you, Shadow.' Her fingers closed around fistfuls of his jacket, and she buried her face in his shoulder.

'Don't thank me,' he muttered. 'I couldn't do anything for you –'

'You stayed. You say that you've lost your memories, and it's a well-known fact around here that you only do things for yourself, but you still chose to stay. It means more than you know.'

'And that's enough for you?'

She let him go and rubbed her eyes. Her bloodied glove came away stained with traces of mascara. 'I know that far too many people have asked the world of you. Did it ever occur to you that simply being here is more than enough?'

Shadow took a step back, burying his hands in his jacket pockets in an attempt to steel himself. He had been created to be the ultimate form of life, but he had never been enough for anyone. He hadn't been able to cure Maria, and he hadn't been able to bring her home. Even now, he was a weapon without someone to pull the trigger. He was a cure without a purpose. He had been cursed with an endless life for the sake of another, all in vain.

His existence had only caused death, pain and suffering, and it had never been enough for someone … until now.

'I can't tell you how to move on,' he said. 'You need to work that out for yourself. But I can tell you not to waste your life wishing that things were different.' He forced a pained smile, one that he had given a different girl beneath a black moon in a red sky. 'You're still alive, which means that you can make your wishes come true under your own power. You don't have to rely on someone else to fulfil them for you.'

'She was right, you know,' Victoria murmured. 'Abraham was right. They all were. You have a big heart.' When he didn't respond, she picked her fallen chair up off the ground and leaned on it with one hand. 'You know, there's this quote I really like. "Surely, in the light of history, it is more intelligent to hope rather than to fear, to try rather than not to try." I may never find the answers I'm looking for, but the light of history is a powerful thing.' Victoria gazed at him, and her eyes softened. 'When I look at you, I see the shadow that Maria cast. I see her heart in you. But you're so much more than a piece of living history, Shadow. Your existence has the power to give people hope. And I hope that … one day you and I might be able to have a conversation without talking about the past.'

'You're a historian,' Shadow said, materialising his Chaos Emerald in the palms of his gloved hands. 'Are you even capable of talking about anything else?'

'You're one to talk. You're married to your work, aren't you?' Victoria gave him a lazy smile and winked. 'Are you even capable of making small talk?'

'No. I hope you realise that it's going to be a terrible conversation.'

'Nothing a few rounds of shots at Club "Rouge" won't fix.'

'You're going to black out if you try to keep up with me. What's the point of having a conversation that you won't remember?'

Victoria walked past him, drawing her A keycard out of her pocket, and pressed a band-aid into his hand as she left. 'Just because you can't remember something doesn't mean it didn't happen.'

Shadow gazed at the emerald's facets as the sound of her footsteps faded away. He exhaled. Then he winked out of existence and reappeared in the hospital, leaving a mere, faint after-image.

The stench of antiseptic burned his throat, and the background noise of voices filled his ears. He stuffed the bandaid into his pocket and willed the faint scratches on his face to heal. Once they had disappeared, he walked off. As he made his way through the haematology ward, he heard the sound of Abraham's voice coming from the end of one of the corridors. As he walked past, he caught a glimpse of Abraham and Lindsey standing outside Elijah's room. They were wearing blue scrubs, presumably to avoid exposing Elijah to external contaminants.

'It's only going to be for an hour or two,' Abraham said, 'then I'll be back.'

Shadow slowed to a halt and leaned against the wall beside the corridor's entrance.

'Why can't you get one of your countless soldiers to do it instead?' Lindsey asked. 'They just have to stand in an operating theatre with a gun, don't they?'

Abraham swore under his breath. 'Shadow may not trust me, but he also wouldn't trust a random soldier with his safety while he's unconscious. If I can, then I need to help him. '

'And we need you to be here for us, but when you're not saving the United Federation from itself, you're spending the little remaining time you have on a failed lab experiment.'

'That "failed lab experiment" could save your son's life. He may insist otherwise, but your son is one of the reasons he's here in the first place.'

'You do know that I'm just quoting your own words back at you, right? You've called him far worse over the years.' Lindsey cleared her throat. 'It's ironic, isn't it? If it weren't for your obsession with the past – and with Shadow – then maybe our family would be different. Maybe my husband would be here instead of you. But you want to know who has been here instead?' Shadow heard Lindsey slam her hand against the wall. 'The person you taught us to hate ever since we've known you! And for all his faults – all his swearing, arguing and selfishness – he's still been more supportive than your son! Make it make sense, Abraham, because I can't!'

'You're right. I can't.' Shadow glanced around the corner to see Abraham holding out his arms to Lindsey, offering her a hug. 'If I had made different choices – if I had been a better parent – then maybe your husband would be here as well. But I'm here. I want to make it up to you.'

Lindsey stared at him. 'You're not really here, though. You might be standing in front of me, but your mind is already in that operating theatre.'

'I'll find someone else.' Abraham's hands fell to his sides, and he looked away. 'Maybe …'

'Look,' Lindsey said wearily. 'I don't care who you're going to use your "phone a friend" on. But if you really want to make it up to me, then I want you here. With us. Is that really too much to ask?'

'I …'

Lindsey swiftly stepped into Elijah's room and shut the door behind her, leaving Abraham in the corridor. His shoulders slumped. After a moment, he turned and walked out of the corridor.

'Commander?'

Abraham nearly jumped out of his skin, and he turned to see Shadow leaning against the wall. 'Damn it, Shadow. You're going to give me a –'

'Heart attack.' Shadow rolled his eyes. 'Your jokes are getting tired.'

'I don't see any point in using different ones. It's not like you ever laugh.'

'Hmph.' Shadow looked him up and down. Abraham looked so different out of uniform that it was enough to trigger his fight-or-flight response. He didn't know that he had ever seen Abraham without his uniform jacket, let alone wearing something with short sleeves. If anything, he looked like a surgeon about to go into an operating theatre.

Shadow felt a faint, dull stab below his ribcage. If Abraham had made different choices, maybe he would have become a completely different person. What kind of life would he have lived if he hadn't been born on Space Colony Ark? What kind of man would he have become if his family hadn't been killed? What kind of job would he have had if he hadn't become the commander of GUN?

'Why are you looking at me like that?' Abraham asked in bewilderment.

'Like what?' Shadow adjusted one of his wrist guards and didn't bother looking up.

'Forget it.' Abraham ran a hand through his hair and said, 'Look. Do you have Sonic's phone number?'

'Why would I have his number?' Shadow said flatly. 'You'd have more success if you asked the President of the United Federation for it.'

'And why is that?'

'He has a photo of Sonic and me on his desk. Why wouldn't he have Sonic's damn phone number as well?'

'Shadow, you are aware that we have a new president in office now, right? The Black Arms Invasion wasn't yesterday.'

'I couldn't give less of a damn about how the United Federation's election process works. Why do you need Sonic's phone number?'

'I need to find someone to stand guard for you.' Abraham grimaced and said, 'I know I said that I could do it for you, but I'm … needed elsewhere. I know you're doing a lot for us, but I –'

'I've already taken care of it.'

'Taken care of what?'

Shadow jerked his thumb towards Elijah's room. 'I found someone to stand guard for me. Go and be with your family.'

Abraham sighed. 'I don't know how long you were standing there. But whatever you heard, I'm sorry that you had to hear it … But did you really find someone? Or are you just saying that?'

'I'm not that generous. Or stupid, for that matter. Stop protesting and go.'

Before Abraham could continue to argue, Shadow stalked off, leaving the haematology ward behind as he made his way to the operating suite.

There were so many more questions that he could have asked. Had Abraham known that Victoria was working at GUN? If she had been able to find Gerald's journal, did that mean that there could be other documents that had survived the cover-up of the raid on Space Colony Ark? What about the rest of Maria's family?

He shook his head and kept walking. He didn't have time to entertain these questions right now, and neither did Abraham. The man's family needed him far more than Shadow needed answers. And maybe he didn't want answers in the first place. Like he had warned Victoria, you had to live with the answers that you found for the rest of your life. But the questions were still difficult to ignore.

Envy slithered through him, and he tried to fight it as he took off his equipment and left it at the in-charge desk of the theatre complex. As much as he didn't envy Lindsey or Elijah's lives, they still had people who were willing to be there for them. He might have Rouge, but she had her own life to live. She couldn't constantly handhold him, nor did he want her to. He knew far too well the perils of making selfish wishes, but he couldn't help but wish that –

'Shadow?' Silver stood outside the doors of one of the operating rooms in the theatre. He gave Shadow a small smile.

Shadow walked over to the handwashing station beside him, and the sound of running water filled the silence. The bitter smell of antiseptic solution waved through the air, and he could feel Silver eyes on him.

'I went back and looked at the Project Shadow files.'

'Shadow, you didn't have to –'

'I did. I have far too many other things to worry about, and I'm not wasting any more of my mental energy on your dubious parentage.'

'Still, thank you. I know you probably checked the files just to make me shut up, but … I assume they weren't wasn't easy to reread.'

Shadow shrugged. 'I remember very little of the events that were written about. It doesn't affect me.'

'…Sure. Well? Did you find anything?'

'There was nothing to find. Strangely enough, it was Gerald's journal that brought you to mind, not the Project Shadow files.' Shadow turned the tap off, and resisted the urge to rest his hands on the edge of the sink. 'There were a lot of references to "hope". There was also a string of binary code that talks about someone who's not from this timeline … but sections of the code are illegible, and GUN hasn't fully decoded it yet.'

Silver's gaze flickered. 'Interesting. Was that code there when you read the journal previously?'

'What do you mean?'

'I'm asking if you think the journal's contents were affected by what Gerald learned in White Space.'

'I don't know, and I don't care.' His words sounded harsh, but they didn't come from a place of bitterness. They stemmed from exhaustion. 'Even if the journal was retroactively altered, its contents still devolve into the incoherent scribblings of a madman. I'm only telling you what I noticed because it might be relevant to you –'

'Shadow,' Silver said, and his voice was gentle. 'I see why you would think that Gerald was referring to me, but I don't think he was. I think that he was talking about you.'

'Me?'

'The version of you that he met in White Space wasn't from his timeline.' Silver tipped his head to one side. 'It would make sense, wouldn't it?'

It was so obvious that Shadow was temporarily speechless. '… If you keep this up, GUN's cryptanalysts are going to be out of a job.'

'Don't lay them off just yet,' Silver said. 'You said you don't know whether the code was there before the events of White Space. And if it's not fully decoded, then there could still be something that we're missing –'

'Oh, shut up,' Shadow grumbled. 'I need you to stay focused, and you're off with the fairies.'

'Unlike you, I'm capable of focusing on more than one thing at once.'

'Maybe I'd be capable of multitasking if I wasn't stretched so damn thin –'

At that moment, the high-pitched whine of an electric drill interrupted them, setting Shadow's teeth on edge.

Silver clapped his hands over his ears. 'Why are they using construction equipment in the operating theatre?'

'They're not.' Shadow crosses his arms tightly. 'If you're going to extract someone's bone marrow, you have to drill into their bones first.'

Silver's eyes widened. 'Is that safe?'

'It's not going to kill me.' Shadow said, and he felt a weight settle on his chest again.

Silver weighed him up, and his amber eyes flickered. 'Are you certain?'

Shadow's heart began to beat faster. For all intents and purposes, the procedure wouldn't kill him. If anything, being injected with Elijah's bone marrow would be the only procedure that could carry genuine risk. But thanks to Silver's words, he now had to re-examine every scenario for potential threats.

'Quite. Quite certain.'

Silver took a step towards him, reaching out with one hand. 'Look … I haven't had much time to come up with potential solutions. But what if you called off the program? What if we could rewrite history that way?'

It was a tempting prospect. It was also one that he would also have to give further consideration to, as he had barely had time to consider all the implications of Silver's warning. But as for now …

'We can talk about this later. But I don't want to sacrifice my present for the sake of your future. There are people here who need me, and I gave them my word.'

'There are a lot of other people who will need you one day, Shadow.'

'I don't need you to play devil's advocate for the voices in my head, thanks,' Shadow muttered.

'You have psychosis? I thought you had amnesia.'

'I have limited patience to deal with your literalism, damn it.' Shadow jerked his thumb towards the door of the operating theatre. 'This procedure can't kill me. But I need your guarantee that you'll stop anyone else from trying.'

Silver looked through the doors of the operating theatre, and he tensed. 'Do you trust the people who are going to be operating on you?'

'I have no reason to distrust them. I'm concerned about people on the outside targeting me or the hospital.'

'What if someone breaks into the theatre?'

'Then kill them.'

'… I thought you and Abraham said to keep a low profile.'

'We were talking about your ability to manipulate time. I said nothing about your psychokinesis. If someone is stupid enough to try to kill me, then you can snap their neck with your mind for all I care.'

If Silver had been smiling before, any trace of warmth had now disappeared from his expression. 'Why do you assume I would be willing to kill for you?'

Shadow scoffed. 'Because you tried to kill me before. And from what I've heard, you tried to kill Sonic too. Come to think of it, I don't think there's anyone you wouldn't kill for the sake of your precious future.' Shadow leaned forward and smirked. 'And that's something I can use to my advantage.'

'There are some people I wouldn't kill,' Silver said. 'And not just because I'm not strong enough. Despite what I may have done in previous timelines, I would never try to kill you again … My personal concerns notwithstanding. I want you in this world, not out of it.'

'Your job will be much easier if you allow yourself to do whatever it takes to achieve your goals.'

Silver smiled. 'Sometimes the best futures are hard-won.'

'You say that now, but you'll eat your words if we come to blows in another timeline –'

'Shadow?' Alex stood in the doorway, dressed in surgical scrubs, with her gloved hands held up to avoid contamination. 'I see you found someone to stand watch for you. Are you ready to get started?'

Shadow walked past her, and Silver chased after him. 'Why wouldn't I be?'

He knew that his answer was forced, and Alex didn't humour it with a response. He sat on the operating table in silence as the surgeons hooked him up to the monitoring equipment. They had a different anaesthetist this time, one who walked into Shadow's field of view as though he was concerned he would get bitten. 'I hear you have a problem with general anaesthesia.'

'I have a problem with not being awake,' Shadow muttered. 'Make of that what you will.'

'Are you sure you don't want us to put you under? This is going to take several hours.'

Shadow's fingers closed around the edge of the operating table, and he felt the metal begin to give way. He didn't want to take unnecessary risks. But the more surgeries he underwent while awake, the more his thoughts would plague him, and the more his nerves would continue to fray. He didn't want to admit it, but letting his focus and concentration weaken could become a bigger risk than letting himself fall unconscious.

'Just let them, Shadow,' Silver said impatiently. 'I'll be here if anything happens.'

'But what if …'

Shadow froze, staring at the ground.

But what if I don't wake up?

'You will.'

Shadow glared at him. 'Do you have psychokinesis or telekinesis?'

Silver laughed. 'I don't need telekinesis. But if I guessed right, then you're not the only one to have those thoughts.'

Shadow said nothing for a moment. Then he laid down on the operating table. 'Fine. Fine, damn it.'

As the surgeons put the IV lines in his arm, he noticed a blue shimmer out of the corner of his eye. Silver leaned against the wall, and his gaze flicked from one member of the operating theatre to the other. But each piece of equipment – every scalpel, every drill bit – glimmered with an almost indiscernible cyan light.

He almost wanted to laugh. But he fell beneath the surface before he could say a word.