The Clown Posse
"Okay, Harry, you go rummage around on the barber shop floor, Hermione, you go talk to strangers, and I'll meet you both back here after I'm done robbing Madam Malkin," Ron said as Harry tossed him the invisibility cloak and a couple galleons.
Hermione chuckled and shook her head. "Just be careful, both of you."
"You too," Harry said. "See you both in a bit." And with that, both he and Hermione went off to complete their preparatory missions for Operation Run A Quick Errand.
Ron tossed the indivisibility cloak over his head and vanished from view before exiting the alleyway, sneaking past all of the day drinkers hanging out at the Leaky Cauldron, and finally making his way into Diagon Alley.
Because Ron and his companions were going to have to transform themselves into adults in order to avoid suspicion, they were going to need larger robes than the ones they were currently wearing. Luckily, Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions was a convenient distance away from their final destination. Unluckily, 11-year-old Ron Weasley couldn't exactly just waltz in by himself mid-term. Hence the cloak and the aforementioned robbery.
Diagon Alley itself was busy enough, which made sense given that it was, after all, a Saturday. Many witches and wizards were about spending their day off from work doing some shopping or grabbing a nice dessert at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. This made things a bit easier for Ron, who was able to slip into Madam Malkin's undetected by walking in close behind an older wizard with a short, gray beard and silky blue robes.
The shop contained several other patrons, in addition to already being packed pretty full of clothing racks, so Ron was immediately nervous that he was going to run into somebody and give himself away. After a particularly close call where he had to quickly climb through one rack to avoid a woman's outstretched hand only to immediately have to dive through another rack to avoid someone else (he had wandered into the ever-dangerous 20% off section), Ron decided that enough was enough. He grabbed the first three adult-sized robes he saw and bundled them up under the cloak with him before sneaking the galleons Harry had given him onto the front desk near the register and got out of there as fast as he could. Ron had never particularly liked shopping.
"You need strangers' hair for a school project?" the barber repeated in a tone that made it seem like he wasn't so sure that a school might require its students to present their teachers with the DNA of people they didn't know.
Harry had been caught sneaking clumps of hair off the barber shop floor and pocketing them. He had thought that nobody was going to pay any attention to him, but at the moment he couldn't remember why he would have possibly thought that.
"Erm… yes." Harry said simply, not sure what else to say.
"Didn't you ever think maybe you should ask these gentlemen before just running off with their hair?"
"Well, they weren't using it anymore."
"That's hardly the point, is it-"
"Eh, let the lad take it," one patron interjected. "It would just be thrown away otherwise."
"Yeah, the boy's a bit strange, but he seems harmless enough," another agreed.
The barber sighed and looked at Harry for a moment. "Fine," he said, likely not wanting to waste much more time with Harry anyway. "Go on, then. But I don't want to catch you snatching hair up off the floor again. It's weird."
Harry thanked the man and ran out of the barber shop before he got himself into even more trouble.
"That's perfect, thank you so much!" Hermione said as a woman handed her a hair scrunchie. As the woman walked away, Hermione inspected the accessory and was delighted to find what she was looking for: a few hairs still clinging to it after its last use. She had four other hair-taming items in her pocket that she had obtained from other strangers, but to her dismay those had turned out to be hair-free as if they had never been worn.
With her hair as bushy as it was, it hadn't been difficult for Hermione to convince strangers to give her something to use to put her hair up. She just hoped that Harry and Ron had been equally as successful.
After having gotten what she wanted, Hermione made her way back to the alleyway where the three of them had first arrived. It wasn't long before a slightly embarrassed-looking Harry showed up and confirmed success, and not too long after that Ron unvanished from beneath the cloak with a big wad of fabric tucked under his arm.
"So, it occurred to me while I was sneaking these robes out of Madam Malkin's that I maybe could have just snuck the potion ingredients out of Slug and Jiggers instead," Ron noted.
"And did you?" Harry asked.
"Well no, I spent all the money you gave me on the robes."
"That's just as well, the apothecary probably won't be as crowed as Madam Malkin's. It would be easier to spot it if things suddenly vanished from shelves," Hermione reasoned.
"In that case, I suppose we should change into these," Ron said as he passed the robes out at random.
Harry and Hermione held up the robes Ron had handed them and took a good look.
"Ron, what exactly is this?" Harry asked. His robes were a light pink with satin material that was embellished with white lace. They reminded him very much of his Aunt Petunia's nightgowns.
"Sorry, mate. I didn't really have time to look at them before I ran out of there," Ron said as he held back a laugh.
"You had time to look at them before you handed this one to me, though."
"I'll switch with you," Hermione offered between giggles. "Although, to be honest, mine isn't much better. Where did you even find these?"
Ron shrugged. "I think they were on the sales rack."
"I can see why," Harry said as he inspected the robes he'd traded for. They were blue with big green polka dots.
The robes Ron had kept for himself were covered in purple and gold zig-zags. They were going to look like clowns. So much for keeping a low profile.
Figuring it wouldn't be worth the time and effort to go back to Madam Malkin's and exchange their new wardrobes, the three of them went ahead and put them on. They couldn't help laughing at each other when they saw how they all looked.
"At least nobody will have any idea that it's us. We all have way better fashion sense than this," Ron joked.
"Okay, I guess it's polyjuice time," Hermione said as she pulled three little bottles filled with polyjuice potion from her bag.
The three of them added their hairs, braced themselves for the unpleasantness of what they were about to drink, and then each took a big gulp. Immediately, they began to grow and transform until they were completely unrecognizable.
"It feels so nice to be viewing the world from a higher vantage point again," Hermione commented through the lips of a thin, blonde woman in her 40s who apparently had the fashion taste of a much older witch.
Harry and Ron both took on the personas of men who, having just been to the barber shop, had very well-styled hair. Harry's was graying slightly while Ron's was jet-black. Ron's robes made him look like somebody's fun uncle who was trying to be hip with the kids. Harry just looked ridiculous, but Ron was right about one thing; nobody was going to guess his true identity with him walking around like that.
Hermione was right, as usual. Slug and Jiggers Apothecary had only a couple of other customers milling about when Harry walked in, and the layout was a lot more open than what he remembered Madam Malkin's place to be. There were several shelves displaying the potion making merchandise, but none that were particularly good for hiding behind. Inventories of ingredients that would easily rival Snape's stores lined the walls, and the shop's midsection contained a display of cauldrons of several different sizes and materials.
A kind-looking shopkeeper nodded to him as he entered, and offered his assistance should Harry need it.
"Actually, good sir, if you could point me in the direction of some African Sea Salt I should be most grateful," Harry declared.
"Certainly, right this way."
The shopkeeper led Harry to a shelf near the door. "I keep everything in alphabetical order, starting over here with the A's," he explained.
Harry thanked the man, who then went to help a customer who was asking a question about cauldron quality and durability. He grabbed the sea salt and then began to look for the ingredient he was really after: sulfur. Just as he began to wander away from the door, in walked a blonde woman in pink, lacy robes.
"Good sir, pardon my interruption, but you said everything is in alphabetical order, is that correct?" Harry clarified for Hermione's benefit.
"Yes, sir, are you having trouble finding something?"
"No no, I think I've found it, thank you."
Harry grabbed the sulfur and a cauldron-cleaning rag for good measure and took his items up to the register.
Meanwhile, Hermione took her time walking over to the shelf containing potion ingredients starting with the letter 'M.' It was decided that she would be picking up the mercury. Just as she was gliding past the H's, she heard a voice from behind her.
"Madam Malkin's, sale rack?" a woman asked.
Hermione was instantly worried that someone knew that the robes she was wearing had been taken in such a sneaky manner. After all, it was probably easier to spot when some of your more unusual garments went missing than to keep inventory of all the plainer ones that were far more common in the shop. But when she turned around, Hermione found herself looking at a woman a bit older than the one she was currently disguised as, but who was wearing the exact same robes.
"Oh… wow," Hermione stuttered, a fake smile forming on her lips. "You have… such great style. I absolutely love Madam Malkin's. Never miss a sale."
As Hermione found herself stuck making idle chit chat about how incredibly soft and comfortable her robes were, Harry finished paying for his items and exited the store. He was able to give Ron a heads up about the layout of the store so that his ordinarily red-headed friend was prepared when he entered the shop a few minutes later.
By this point, Hermione had managed to pull herself away from her new 'friend' and was gathering up the last of her items before she went to checkout. Ron started out by inspecting a few of the cauldrons that were on display. A few minutes after Hermione left, Ron went ahead and rapped up his shopping, grabbing some honeywater, a little ginger, and, of course, the silver.
Ron exited the store after paying for his items, feeling quite impressed with how smoothly that had all gone. As he grew closer to where he and his friends had agreed to meet up after finishing their shopping, he could see that Hermione was looking down at some scrap of paper in her hand, and that Harry was reading it over her shoulder.
"That was her name. He thought I was her," Hermione was saying as Ron got within earshot.
"What's that?" Ron asked.
"Some guy just walked by and handed this to Hermione," Harry explained as he took the note from Hermione and passed it to Ron.
Miri,
Bring the loot from S&J's to 1080 Knockturn Alley by 3 o'clock.
Max
"What's this about?" Ron asked.
Hermione explained that she had met a woman named Miri while she was shopping who was wearing the same robes as her, and that the man who had delivered her the note must have gotten them confused.
"Well too bad for Miri, I guess she won't be getting her message because we have to get back to Hogwarts," Ron said with a shrug.
"This is weird, though. It sounds like Miri may have stolen something from Slug and Jiggers and is trying to resell it down in Knockturn Alley for some reason," Harry said.
"Well, that's great then. We got all of our potion ingredients and stopped a crime ring. Now, let's go."
"But the timeline…" Hermione protested.
"…You want us to help the criminals smuggle potion ingredients?"
"We just want to find Miri and make sure she gets her message. That's all, then we can go," Harry explained.
Ron sighed. "Why didn't I just grab 3 sets of black robes?"