"So you're sure that girl isn't going to be sacrificed in my name or anything?" Issei asked in concern as they prepared to use the portal and returned to Japan.
"It won't be unwilling if she is," Yad remarked in her own form of assurance.
"That's about the best I can get at the moment, isn't it?" Issei said with a sigh.
"She'll most likely just become a priestess in your honor," Kass assured in amusement. "They'd only sacrifice her if they were desperate for your help."
"Hopefully I know before it gets that bad," Issei murmured as they headed through the portal.
"I don't foresee that becoming an issue," Yad remarked before nodding forward. "Also, Kungur?"
"Hmm?" Issei looked forward and saw that Irina and Xenovia were in hand, Lag having shed his human skin to take on his true form as a rider of doom.
In front of the trio was a group of fish people. Or rather, two groups, each of distinctly different kinds of amphibious humanoids. Members of one group were forced onto their knees and in bonds, looking like a weird halfway point between human and fish, with webbed hands and a fin down their neckless heads.
The second group had heads like octopuses, making Issei think of Cthulhu. They stood over the first group, binding them as prisoners, while covered in light armor and tridents.
There were about two dozen of them in total, gathered in the former campsite with a third lying dead on the ground.
"...What did we miss?" Issei asked curiously.
"These scaly monsters were trying to kidnap us and force us to have their children!" Irina answered in alarm.
"But the tentacle ones are apparently on our side?" Xenovia said with some skepticism, neither of them lowering their guard.
Issei turned to look at the amphibians who chartered frantically among themselves as they all suddenly got on their knees and bowed to him. Even the captives bowed and dared not to risk his anger.
"I warned the Deep Ones we were in your service, but they paid no heed," Lag remarked, eyes glowing ominously. "Shall I end them, Kungur?"
"Maybe," Issei said with a frown as he walked over to the group of kneeling Eldritch. "Alright, which of you is in charge?"
One of the tentacled beings stood up and approached. "Great Sovereign, forgive us for disturbing you and your companions," he said in a deep, slow voice from behind his tentacles. "I am Cthatlex. We are a band of Cthulhi Bounty Hunters, sent to apprehend these Deep Ones, who have gone rogue to kidnap mortal maidens to make them breed with them."
The Deep Ones groaned and hissed in their own weird tongue at that.
"That really doesn't help your case, even if you sacrificed the most beautiful one to me," Issei said in annoyance as he glared down at the speaker.
The Deep Ones froze and bowed their heads in terror and fear.
"Shall we execute them here and now, O Center of the Center?" Cthatlex asked, his soldiers looking eager to spill blood if Issei gave the word.
"Handle them however you normally would," Issei remarked, waving them off. "Thank you for taking care of this."
"It is our job, but I am grateful to know you approve," Cthatlex answered humbly, bowing his tentacled head deeply. He let out a savage noise and he turned to his men and waved for them to move out, forcing their captives along. Knowing the judgment of the Kungur himself was against them, the Deep Ones made no effort to resist or forestall their fates.
"Well, it looks like we all had an eventful night," Issei said as he approached Irina and the others. "You two okay?"
"With respect, don't assume we're soft and weak," Xenovia said neutrally as she finally lowered her sword.
"I mean mentally. You know, Eldritch-induced insanity and all that?" Issei retorted.
"We're fine," Irina assured with a smile. "I don't think those Rldritch were strong enough to affect people involved in the supernatural world."
"I wouldn't know, I'm just flat-out immune to it for obvious reasons," Issei remarked with a shrug.
"I assume the zombies are taken care of?" Xenovia asked curiously.
"Yeah, it turns out it all started with a mad scientist experimenting with eldritch zombie-goo. Get this, he was Polish!" Issei explained.
"Polish? Really? In South America?" Irina asked in surprise. "This feels like one of those American movies with the archaeologist. The one with the whip?"
"Jones, I think," Issei said thoughtfully. "Anyway, we dealt with him. The god responsible for the zombies already escaped, but he won't be coming back there."
"Our Kungur taught him a very painful lesson, and I gave him some after-hours tutoring," Kass said with a dark smile. "...Does that joke work?"
"Not really, but good effort?" Issei offered with a so-so gesture of the hand.
"When you say "escaped" do you mean it is somewhere loose on Earth?" Xenovia asked with a frown.
"No, Nycrama escaped to somewhere far from this world for now. If he returns, it will likely be in a foolish attempt to defeat the Kungur," Yad said evenly.
"Yeah, turns out this guy thought he was the one that Aza was in love with, so he kind of hates me because he's not," Issei explained, scratching the back of his head.
"...So he's some kind of creepy Eldritch stalker and admirer of the Eldritch Queen?" Irina summarized in bewilderment.
"Yes, that is an excellent way to describe him," Kass agreed eagerly.
"Now that this situation is resolved, there is the matter of these two seeking an audience with you, Kungur," Yad reminded, looking directly at the church duo.
"Right, almost forgot about that," Issei mused, looking up at the night sky. "Given all the bullshit that just happened, you ladies mind putting this off until morning?"
"That is agreeable to us, King of the Eldritch," Xenovia accepted coolly.
"Great! Now, I heard you two got lost trying to find me, so...do you have a place to stay?" Issei asked curiously.
The pair shared sheepish looks with one another.
Issei turned to his vizier. "Yad, there one of those apartments or safehouses they can spend the night in?"
"There is a hidden cabin in these very woods," Yad informed, glancing at the church warriors. "Follow me, Servants of the Slain God."
They hesitated.
"I swear on the Kungur's name that I have nothing nefarious planned for either of you."
"If they did, you'd already be dead," Lag remarked, having returned to his form of a human and a motorcycle.
It wasn't the best reassurance, but they both followed after Yad, Irina smiling and waving at Issei. "It was good to see you again, Issei. I hope we can catch up soon."
"Same to you, Irina!" Issei said with a smile, waiting until they were gone some distance to address Kass. "How binding is it to swear on my name?"
"As binding as you desire it to be at any given time," Kass answered casually.
"Right. Well, thanks for minding the homefront, Lag," Issei said as he turned to the Eldritch of Doom. "Take the rest of the night off, find something fun to do."
"Bold of you to assume I can keep my lower half from munching on anything long enough to have fun," Lag said, slapping the top of the motorcycle in mild annoyance. The Motorcycle revved itself with indignation. "Oh, don't start that with me again."
With that, the Eldritch of Doom rode off into the night.
Issei let out a heavy sigh and let his shoulders sag.
"Something wrong, Kungur?" Kass asked curiously.
"Right now, I'd love to just go home and fuck Aza until we both pass out," Issei admitted with a headshake. "But I need to talk to Yad about whoever the hell busted Nycrama out, and maybe this Deep One thing."
"Sire, you're eternal. And so are most of the beings you're worried about. You have time," Kass reminded encouragingly. "Go home, be with your beloved, deal with those church girls in the morning, and worry about everything else a little later."
Issei rubbed his forehead. "I might miss some things when I grow out of my humanity. Maybe a lot of things. But my need for sleep? I can't wait to be rid of that."
"Oh, don't be so sure. Sleep can be very pleasant even when it's not needed," Kass mused absently. "Besides, if you didn't sleep, Aza couldn't have fun with you in your dreams. Or you in hers."
"...Point," Issei said with a smile. "Hey, Kass? You want to borrow the twins, and give them a day off in a few days?"
Kass stood a bit straighter as her eyes shimmered. "I couldn't be more grateful for anything else, My Kungur."
Later, Issei finally returned home and found Aza waiting for him, sitting upside down on his bed. "Beloved, you're back! Did you have a fun time in the Americas?"
Issei rolled his shoulder and rubbed it. "I'm not sure fun is the word. I met your stalker, fanboy, or whatever we want to call the zombie-slug. Asshole has no pain tolerance, I swear," he said, pausing as he pulled a small spike out of his shoulder and tossed it in the trash.
"Oh, are you thorny for me, Issei?" Aza asked playfully.
Issei snorted hard in amusement. "Babe, you're horrible. But for you? Always," Issei said as sat down next to her. "Dammit!" he exclaimed, leaning back with a groan.
"Hmm? What's wrong?" Aza asked, turning over to crawl up between his legs as innocently as possible.
"Nothing, it just dawned on me. When did I become so damn responsible? I have a hot, horny girl literally in my bed and I spend a lot more time handing kingly shit than I do in said bed with said horny girl."
"To be fair, I'm only horny when I'm with you or thinking about you," Aza remarked nonchalantly.
Issei gave her a blank look, knowing exactly how often she thought about him. "Uhuh."
"And honestly, you've always been responsible. When you actually have responsibilities, I mean," Aza said before frowning. "I'm sorry though, I never meant to put unwanted work on you."
"No, no, it's fine. From what I can tell, this would normally be a less busy job, but us getting...married kind of got everyone moving and acting up," Issei said with a head shake. "I think I just need a break soon. So we can just be Aza and Issei for a couple days. Live, love, and fuck each other silly."
"I'd like that a lot," Aza said with a smile before looking concerned. "Why do you say it like that?"
"Say what?" he asked curiously.
"You paused when you said we were married, and you said it weirdly. Why?" she questioned with a head tilt.
Issei scratched his cheek as he decided how to answer that. "It's just a human thing. Even a shotgun wedding has some kind of ceremony. I know everyone already considers us a married couple, but my head is still human enough to think we need to have some kind of wedding or something to make it official."
"Ah," Aza said in understanding, resting her chin on his chest. "Eldritch usually don't have weddings. Our cultists do, but us? The Eldritch pair might put on some great or terrible display as a symbol of their love and bond, but nothing like a wedding."
"Well, I guess we'll have the first wedding of the Eldritch Gods, one day," Issei said with a chuckle as he stroked her hair.
Aza hummed pleasantly, her hair moving on its own to pool around his hand softly. "There's something you want to talk about, isn't there? Something important?"
"Yeah, but I think it can wait until morning. I'm definitely not getting a break tomorrow," Issei said with a chuckle. "So, how'd your night go?"
"Well, earlier, I had a talk with Asia. I've been apparently giving her nightmares by accident, the poor dear. I already fixed that, and we had some fun at a beach," Aza mused before giggling. "Me and Akeno made Yog go try on new outfits after she lost a bet."
"Yog lost a bet?" Issei asked with a raised eyebrow. "And she didn't just...rewind it?"
"Nope! I don't think it would have helped," Aza said with a giggle.
Issei gave her a curious look.
"The bet was if Akeno could make her blush," Aza explained simply.
"Ah," Issei nodded in understanding and agreement. "Yeah, I could see that. Akeno is...Akeno."
"Yes, yes she is," Aza said fondly. "I kind of see the appeal of this shopping thing. Oh, and your future selves are teasing me! You will know that I really don't want to ruin the surprise, but it's hard when you're going to be future-flashing me like you're going to be doing earlier."
Issei looked thoughtful. "No, no, I followed all of that. I'd say I'll be sorry, but I probably won't be. You're cute when you pout."
"..." Aza's eyes widened in wonder, practically sparkling like stars. Actually, Issei was pretty sure several new stars had just been created somewhere. "You think I'm cute when I'm frustrated? Yes! Finally, something good came of my frustrations besides venting-sex and Nyarlly!"
Issei glanced up as he almost heard a laugh, almost. He knew he was going to have to meet with this step-daughter of his one day in the near future, he knew. But like Kass said, he had time, and the rest of tonight was just going to be for him and Aza.
"So, do you want to tell me more about your zombie hunting adventures, or...," she paused and started drawing circles on his shirt. "You, me, destroying this bed?"
"Oh, I don't know. I might feel like destroying the wall this time," Issei remarked wryly as his hands circled around her.
Meanwhile
"Sweet, aren't they?"
Yad looked to Yog, her Outerself all too amused. "You lost a bet to a mortal," Yad said in observation.
"Remind me again, why did we allow her and Aza to meet?" Yog asked with a sigh.
"You presume the Kungur would allow us to interfere with the Queen's most successful attempt at socializing with mortals," Yad remarked. "You lost a bet, and it involved masochism."
"...Akeno may have painted a few scenarios that our mind went away with," Yog said with a sigh. "I blame our parents for this."
Yad hummed, declining to comment on that. "Nycrama is being forced to watch the Kungur and Aza coupling. Is that our doing?"
"Oh no, that's entirely Kass. She really wants to try and get it through his skull after that thrashing Issei gave him," Yog answered with a chuckle. "Are you...enjoying being the advisor?"
"I am," Yad admitted, looking at the slightly haggard appearance of her other self. "You are not enjoying my role."
"I'm not used to being the smaller spoon between us," Yog paused and looked thoughtful. "That came out wrong. Akeno is still in my head."
"Ironic for an Eldritch God," Yad remarked with a hint of a smile. "...Issei does appreciate your company."
Yog raised an eyebrow.
"He merely appreciates my straightforwardness at the moment, given how much he feels he must handle currently," Yad explained.
"I'm aware. That was almost entirely why we switched," Yog mussed, looking off to the side. "I've been keeping an eye on Shub and Iggy."
Yad inhaled sharply. "I have no memory of this."
"We both have things we like to share with ourselves through words instead of memories," Yog remained with a chuckle. "They seem happy right now. She's found one of her most...stable cults to help keep an eye on him from time to time."
"I'm glad," Yad said with a nod. "...You know who has to be behind Nycrama's escape."
"Of course I do, I am you after all," Yog remarked with an eye roll. "That one has come gnawing and gnashing again."
Yad shook her head. "I fear that all that has be gained from this will be that dreaded sight."
"When the Patience of the Queen runs dry, even we cannot forsee how much the cosmos will bleed for it," Yog said with a frown. "Only the Mercy of the King can stay her hand if it all comes to that."
End of Chapter
Right, so, Issei is back fro mhis adventure in the jungles, and some maiden-kidnapping Deep Ones got dealt with. He's heading for some relaxing time with Aza, but Yog is worried about things to come. Namely, Aza being pissed enough to "bleed the cosmos". Yeah, that'd be bad...but kind of epic at the same time.
Early viewing of chapters 38-39:
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