I read somewhere that a lot of people stay up late because it's the only time during a given day that really belongs to them, and it resonated with me. I get that. It was a problem when I was in college, because I often had early-morning classes that I should have gone to bed early for.
I never did.
.
It quickly became clear to Noa that Ryo preferred the night. He was more animated at night; more invested in things. He was happier, he talked more, he laughed louder; for a while, Noa wondered why this might be. Why, he would ask himself, were some people so fine-tuned to operate best once the sun went down? Why was Ryo one of those people?
Was it something he chose, or was it something innate?
Did it have to do with human nature? Noa thought he'd read something about that; it was so that, no matter what time of day it was, there was always someone alert to keep an eye on the rest of the pack. Was that what people meant when they were talking about grand designs? Why people thought gods must be invested in people?
Noa had no idea.
His life after rebirth had mostly been a massive succession of realizations about how much he didn't know.
Eventually, Noa asked Ryo about it. "I wonder if you know," he said, "how it is that you became a night owl. Was it something you chose for yourself? Does it just come naturally to you?"
"I don't think it's part of my nature," Ryo said. "Not really. When I was little, I loved the daytime. Everything was filled with so much promise. It was always so much easier to see during the day, and I didn't have anything to be afraid of . . . or so I thought."
"What changed?" Noa asked. "Was it the Ring?"
Ryo shrugged. "I guess," he said, "it was when Mama and Amane died. When I started processing grief, and everything else that comes with it. I realized . . . I hated dealing with other people. They always had the same pitying looks, they always offered the same platitudes, and I just . . . never knew what I was supposed to say in response to any of them. I . . . started resenting all of it. Night became a refuge because nobody bothered me once the sun went down. Once it was dark, I didn't have to come up with excuses to go home. Home was where I was supposed to be. It's where everyone is supposed to be. If I got a phone call at night, I never had to answer it. Nobody really expected me to answer it."
"Hm," Noa said. "I can't fault you for that, I guess."
"It's comforting sometimes," Ryo said, "to not have anybody expecting anything from you. No demands on your time, no expectations, no need to be productive or busy or any of that. No appointments, no schedules, nothing. Just . . . quiet. Soothing quiet. Nothing harsh, nothing angry, nothing sharp. I like that. I've always liked it. Maybe I have nightmares, maybe I see ghosts in the corners of every room, but they're better company than a lot of the people I had to deal with as a kid. The nightmares, the ghosts, they don't pity me. I'm grateful for that much, at least."
"That," Noa said, "I can definitely understand."