Welcome back to another chapter of The Philosophy of Fear in which we see our hero's protective side flare up, we attend Dumbledore's first lesson, and Harry has a reunion with someone he was hoping to avoid.
On with the show.
Harry Potter, 3rd floor corridor, November 1st, 1:15 PM
"Harry! Slow down!" Hermione snapped from behind him, but the Heir to the Hunt was of no mind to do so. His nose was in the map of the castle created by his father and his friends as he walked, his eyes scanning from one corner to the other in search of a wayward soul. He ignored Hermione's words as he continued forward, following the dot on the map marked Luna Lovegood.
"Why the hell didn't anyone tell me!? Not Dumbledore, not Mrs. Weasley, not even Ron and Hermione!" Harry thought thunderously to himself as he gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the black and white cat following after him out of the corner of his eye. He didn't need to be reminded of his promises to Cait-Sith to do this- no, this was entirely personal to Harry. It may have started as simply keeping his word and protecting Luna- but it had no doubt grown into more than just that.
Luna was his friend, she had somehow worked her way into his heart with cookies and odd comments meant to put everyone on their back foot. She went with him to Mag Turied for no other reasons than because she believed in him and he wouldn't repay that trust by doing nothing when she was suffering.
"Harry! Please! Wait, for the love of Merlin!" Hermione called out once more before Harry abruptly stopped to turn to look at her with wild and angry eyes. "Thank you, and this- this! Was the reason no one told you," she says as she walks up to him, waving her hand in his direction.
"You'd figured I'd be pissed?" Harry snaps at Hermione, the Hunt reverberating in his voice, but to Hermione's credit, she doesn't even flinch. "Well, you got that right," Harry angrily intones at her through clenched teeth.
"No- well, yes, that too. But what I mean is this," Hermione says as she gestures at Harry, standing and fuming in the corridors of Hogwarts. "If we told you what happened in our letters, we knew you would come charging back with hellfire behind you," she tells him with a sigh and a slight frown as Harry just glares at her. "And none of us wanted to do that to you."
"Why not? Because you knew that I would-" Harry grows back before Ron cuts him off.
"Drop everything just to get back here and help Luna; yeah, we knew, mate," Ron tells him with his own sad look. "We didn't want to do that, You had lost Atalanta and Sirius not even a month before it happened. None of us wanted you to come back unless you were ready to come back; we didn't want to put that on your shoulders," he tells Harry as he comes to a stop beside Hermione.
"Besides, Teacher was able to get her to Headquarters, and even after she was safe, it took a while for Luna to settle. She had just lost her father and was hysterical with grief; the only one who was able to calm her down was Delphini," Hermione informs him, causing Harry to grit his teeth at the name. He had yet to see Delphini but had little doubt she didn't already know he was back in Hogwarts.
"Whatever Luna went through was beyond traumatic for her. Luna almost didn't come to Hogwarts because of it. It was only when Teacher put her foot down with Dumbledore that Luna was allowed back. Even if you had come back, Harry, you wouldn't have been able to do anything for Luna because, and to be honest, Harry, you're not the best with emotions," Hermione points out to him, causing Harry to look away with a pinched and angry expression. "Do you really want to interrogate Luna about what happened, to have her relive it just so you can hunt it down?"
"Fuck! Why does she have to be right all the time?" Harry thinks to himself because Hermione was right on all fronts. The whole reason that he was rushing towards Luna was to find out what happened and then turn around and stab whoever hurt her. But he knew what it was like to face your trauma, and he was no Melinoë to help someone through it like she did with him. Harry exhaled, trying to reduce the tension he felt in his shoulders. "I can't bother Luna with it. all I can do is find her and maybe hug her," he realizes, but he also wasn't out of options just yet as he turns to the black and white cat sitting on the floor by the wall.
"What happened?" Harry asks Cait-Sith, his tone like raw iron.
"Harry, it's just a cat. It's not like-" Ron begins to point out before a new voice cuts him off.
"We don't know," the cat says, causing both Ron and Hermione to look at the feline with bug eyes.
"Bullshit!" Harry snaps at the king of cats. "You live with her, you sleep in her bed, you're her best friend!" Harry yells as he takes a step toward Cait-Sith, the Hunt roaring in his voice. But the King of Cats neither backs away from the advancing hunter nor seems angry at his words.
"We feel the need to remind you, hunter," Cait-Sith intoned politely, but his eyes gleamed like polished stones. "That we are very busy with our responsibilities and can only take a short time to be with our moon. We had left one day to fulfill those duties, and when we returned, the house was sealed with salt and iron horseshoes, and the back pound filled with sand. The windows were covered in paint, so we couldn't see it; we decided to wait a day before getting help, for we know of her father's flights of fancy," the king of cats told the hunter, his voice stern and steady in the face of the Hunt.
"The cat is talking," Ron pointed out in disbelief before turning to Hermione. "Hermione, the cat is talking," he tells her as the bookworm blinks in shock.
"But then one morning Xenophilius opened the front door by reversing the door hinges as to open outward so as to not break the salt line before conjuring a ring of iron around the home; trapping us between a house we could not enter and a ring we could not pass," the king of cats informs Harry, not giving pause to the comments of Ron. "We were all but imprisoned until Scáthach showed up at the moon's home at the insistence of that one's younger sibling- We are in her debt for that," the cat says, nodding its head toward Ron, muttering the last part under its breath.
"Who did it?" Harry asks, his hands balled at his side in a vain attempt to keep his temper under control.
"We don't know for certain," the cat admits, its eyes drifting down the hall. "But if we were to guess, it would be Loscenn-"
"Lomm…" Harry finishes for the king of cats as horror takes root in his chest, he sucks in a breath through his teeth as the blood drains from his face. "No," he thinks to himself in despair before looking at the Marauder's map once more.
"She's in the hospital wing," he mutters before turning on his heel and taking off in a blur of speed, ignoring the cries of confusion of his friends behind him. He didn't have time because he didn't know how much time he had. He takes the steps to the third floor three at a time while folding the map and tucking it into his back pocket while the words of Nyx boil in his mind.
"Out of all of them, you will find none more sadistic than Loscenn-lomm…"
Harry was a blur in the hall as he ran as fast as he could, arriving at the Hospital wing doors within a scant few minutes, and to his surprise- he wasn't alone. Both Scáthach and Flitwick were standing outside of the double doors of Madam Pomfrey's domain, talking in hushed tones. It was Scáthach who saw Harry first, her brow raised at the sight, causing Professor Flitwick to turn and look.
"Mister Potter!" The diminutive professor greets him with a smile. "I heard you returned from your trip overseas and am delighted to have you back in Hogwarts once more," he says as he turns to face Harry fully as the boy himself continues to stalk forward. "Though I feel the need to pass along my condolences for your loss, Sirius was a bright lad when he went to school here," he tells Harry as his smile slips into a more mournful look.
"What?" Harry said, confused for a moment before shaking his head. "Er, right. Thanks, professor, say? Have you seen Luna?" He quickly asks as he heads for the door to the hospital wing and watches as the professor's face falls completely. "Something happened," he thinks to himself. But it wasn't Professor Flitwick who stopped him, but Scáthach as she stepped in Harry's path while holding up a hand to stop him.
"Greaca-" Scáthach begins to say, her voice stern and solemn.
"What happened!?" The words of his demand ripped from Harry's throat like a growl; Harry could feel the Hunt growl with him as his face twisted into something feral- a look that caused Professor Flitwick to take a half step back.
"Greaca, calm yourself," Scáthach tells him as her eyes narrow and she stops him with a hand to his chest and burning scarlet eyes. Harry pauses and grits his teeth as he looks into his teacher's eyes; a moment passes between them before, and slowly, Harry takes a deep breath to calm the raging of the Hunt in his mind. His body twitches as his muscles spasm in pain as he slowly closes the tap in his mind. "Filius, perhaps we can continue this conversation later. I need to speak to my apprentice privately," she intones to the charms professor, whose eyes look between the two for a moment before nodding.
"As you wish, Scáthach. I will swing by your office before dinner," Professor Flitwick informs her before the Witch-Queen politely nods in acquist. The teacher and student wait for a moment for the steps of the professor, sounding distant before Scáthach once more turns her attention back to Harry.
"What happened?" Harry asks once more and far more calmly. Scáthach lets out a long sigh before with a wave of her hands, summons a plain wooden bench against the wall before sitting down on it.
"What have you heard?" Scáthach asks her student with a frown.
"That Luna was attacked during the summer, her dad is either missing or dead, and it was most likely a Formorian that did it," Harry immediately states coldly without taking a seat; his leg bouncing up and down in impatience as his eyes flick it toward the doors to the infirmary.
Scáthach nods once at his words. "You're a bit behind, but yes. Luna was attacked over the summer, not once, but twice," she freely admits with a soft and sad tone as Harry reels back as if he was struck.
"Twice!?" Harry repeats, terror, churning in his guts as he pales once more.
"Yes, though the second one was routed before it could begin," his teacher supplied with a faint smile.
"Did you…" Harry asked before shaking his head and gathering himself once more.
"No, I was in Ireland at the time, speaking to the Fianna," Scáthach tells him, her lips turning up into an amused smirk. "No, it seems your home has a guardian deity, Greaca," she tells him with a chuckle.
"Who?" Harry asks, confused.
Scáthach looks at him with mirth dancing in her eyes. "It seems Vesta has taken a vested interest in protecting your home, It's become a temple to her, well,...at least in part," she explains, amused by the turn of events. Scáthach's eyes drifted toward the infirmary doors as her small smile slid off her face before letting out a soft sigh. "Greaca, you must understand the events over the summer have scarred Miss Lovegood, deeply- as any encounter with the Formorians will do to a mortal mind, but in truth, the problem with Miss Lovegood goes deeper than just trauma," she explains as Harry recovered from hear his house was protected by freaking Hestia herself.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowing as his hands clench and unclench to work off the energy and anxiety he felt just below his skin.
"She is starting to remember things she shouldn't," Scáthach supplies with a sigh, confusing Harry even more as she stands. "Listen to me, Greaca. Miss Lovegood's mental state is the most… coherent at the moment; she is remembering who she truly is," she tells him softly.
"Fand…" Harry says in a whisper, though it feels more like a scream to him. "She's remembering pieces of Fand's life, so what? That isn't that bad, is it?" He says, swallowing the lump in his throat only for his heart to jump into the waiting space as Scáthach slowly shakes her head.
"It is not as simple as you're making it seem, Greaca," Scáthach says softly and with a sigh. "Miss Lovegood isn't just remembering bits and pieces of her former life; it goes deeper than just that- her soul is fracturing," she explains as her eyes turn towards the door of the hospital wing. "If this continues the memories of Fand will overcome the memories of Luna to the point that Luna will be no more," she tells Harry sadly.
Harry stands before his teacher with his hands clenching and unclenching as his breath comes out short and erratic through his nose. His body was screaming for him to move, to do something- anything- but for once, Harry couldn't just hunt something down and kill it. Loscenn-lomm wasn't something Harry could track with its ability to slip between the cracks of reality, it could be anywhere at any time.
Harry turns on his heel and begins to march toward the door to the hospital wing, intent on talking to Luna and getting everything he needs to know out of her. He was going to figure out a pattern; he was going to protect Luna; he didn't give a damn - he was losing no one else.
"Greaca, stop," Scáthach says, her voice soft but commanding, causing Harry to stop and turn back to look at her, his eyes blazing with rage. "I know what you want to do, but you must understand that Miss Lovegood is in a rather fragile state. Her soul is eating away at her mind while Lomm is doing nothing but preying on her. she was just found in a restroom with slashes across her wrists. It's taking all of my considerable pull to keep her in Hogwarts and not send her to Saint Mungo's as Poppy wants to," she tells him as she stands, pity in her eyes- but for whom, Harry couldn't tell.
Harry grits his teeth as he feels the Hunt grow restless in his mind. "So that's it? I can't talk to her, can't hunt down Lomm, then what the hell should I do!?" Harry snaps at Scáthach, angry with those simple facts. His teacher's eyes narrowed to show her displeasure with how Harry spoke with her, but her words were still soft when she spoke to him.
"I'm trying to protect her, Greaca, but right now, she needs space; I'm having Cú watch over her in the meantime till I can figure out a way to draw out and trap Lomm," she says softly as she walks over and places a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Have patience and let Miss Lovegood come to you when she's ready," she tells him, and Harry sighs before nodding once, avoiding his teacher's eyes, silently giving Luna two weeks to come to him before he would go to her.
The Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts, November 3rd, 1996.
The soft pitter-patter of the November rain strikes the window as Harry looks out onto the dark lawns of Hogwarts. His mind turns over with a million thoughts at once but never quite figures out which one to focus on. Luna and Lomm, Bill's letter wanting to have a stag party at Grimmauld Place and his own confusion on who Bill was marrying as he had yet to ask Ron or Ginny about it, Merope Gaunt and her family, the handsome man that could have only been Voldemort's father and most bothering thing - the Gaunt Family Ring.
It had snagged his attention as soon as Marvolo Gaunt began to wave it in Bob Ogden's face and screamed about how he was Slytherin's descendant.
There was something about the ring that Harry couldn't put his finger on, something akin to a passing familiarity, as if he knew it but had forgotten about it. It was a nagging and annoying feeling that left Harry twisting his iron ring around his finger as he looked out over the forbidden forest. It was stuck in his head like a nightmare that just wouldn't leave. He had seen that ring before, but he couldn't place where; which was odd, because it was a hard thing to forget. The gotti thing was made of silver and shaped into twisting serpents that held the black stone in the middle. The twinkling jet was as dark as night and cut beautifully to set into the ring.
Harry's eyes narrowed as he remembered the color of the stone, what had pulled most of his attention to it; it was a hauntingly familiar color. Like the dark between the stars that let no light pass through it, as if he was looking into the deepest and darkest parts of the ocean; almost as it was…
"Fathomless," Harry whispers to himself as he stops turning the ring on his finger, and the face of Melinoë flashes through his mind.
"Harry?" The voice of Dumbledore cuts through Harry's pondering and makes him jump a bit as he completely forgot he wasn't alone in the Headmaster's office before he turns to face the Professor.
"Sorry, what?" Harry quickly asked, blinking owlishly at the elderly man sitting at the desk in the room, giving him an odd look. "I zoned out a bit there, sorry," he says quickly before noticing that Dumbledore's eyes locked on the ring on his hand before Harry slides his hands back into the pockets of his jacket. Dumbledore leans back into his seat, one hand on the armrest while the blackened one rests on his lap as he eyes Harry for a long moment.
"I asked if you were bothered by the treatment of Merope Gaunt in the Pensieve, but it seems you were so enraptured by your own thoughts that you had missed my question; was it her treatment that you were thinking about?" Dumbledore asks as he looks over the rims of his half-moon spectacles and into Harry's eyes. Harry couldn't feel anything, but he could plainly hear the growl of the Hunt before the snapping of its great jaws. Dumbledore's eyes widened for a moment, but nothing else as a small smirk appeared on Harry's lips.
"It seems Severus' words hold weight after all," Dumbledore mumbled as he adverts his own eyes to look out a window. "I must admit, when he first told me of your ability to chase him out of your mind using your mother's blessing, I had wondered if it would work for any intrusion; and now, it seems I have my answer," he says softly as he brings his good hand up to run it through his beard a small smile on his lips.
Harry shakes his head, more amused at the headmaster than anything. "Yeah, the Hunt doesn't like when people poking around in my head," he admits before walking over to the seat in front of the large desk and taking a seat.
"Indeed, but we digress from my original question: Merope treatment," Albus points out as he turns back to Harry. "I didn't mean to upset you, my boy, but you need to know these things," he points out to Harry.
Harry scowls at his words. "But why?" Harry asks, curious as to what Dumbledore was getting at with these lessons. "I mean, I get knowing your prey, but this isn't what I imagined when you said you wanted to teach me how to fight him. I was thinking you'd teach me about his tactics and how he duels, his strengths and weaknesses, stuff like that. Not how shit his Grandfather and Uncle were," he tells the headmaster with the scowl never leaving his face.
Dumbledore chuckles at Harry's words. "Yes, while I'm sure they would come in handy, I do believe you have a far better teacher for that than I," he says, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he looks at Harry. "What I am teaching you here is an understanding of your enemy- his motives, what drives him, how he thinks, his fears, his philosophy, and most importantly- how to finally kill him for good," he informs Harry as he continues to scowl before nodding once in understanding.
"But I do believe you are avoiding my question, Harry," Dumbledore points out with a look. Harry sighed before looking over at Fawke, who was sleeping,s nesting on his stand with its head tucked under his wing.
"What do you want me to say, Professor?" Harry says softly before looking back at Dumbledore. "That the treatment of a woman long dead and that happened fifty years ago bothers me? Because it was something like I went through?" He asks, his eyes turning hard as he looks at the headmaster.
"I do believe it was closer to seventy years ago, but yes," Dumbledore tells Harry with a nod.
"It doesn't, not really," Harry admits, looking away from Dumbledore. "What the Dursleys did to me is something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, even if I get past it, some of the scars will never leave me- I know that, but I'm over it. They're dead and I'm not," he tells the professor before a scoffing laugh escapes his lips as he shakes his head. "The weird thing is that I'm almost glad they died," he admits with a shake of his head.
The small smile drops from Dumbledore's face as Harry speaks, and a worried crease begins to cover his forehead.
Harry leans his head back and looks up at the ceiling. "For the longest time, I wanted to kill them myself, I just didn't realize it. I wanted to repay them for everything they did to me and everything they took from me, I hated them almost as much as I hate Voldemort; but then they were killed by the very monster I am hunting and I can't help but to be a bit thankful for that," he says with a sigh before looking back at the headmaster. "He took the decision out of my hands and made me realize that killing them wouldn't do anything but leave me feeling hollow; that instead of killing them all, I wanted was to prove them wrong and be a better person than they were," Harry admits.
"So, did how Marvolo treated Merope bother me? No, not really, what happened to me was something wholly different and something I've put behind me," Harry says, finally answering Dumbledore's questions.
"I'm glad to hear that, Harry. While you weren't able to forgive the Dursley's for what they did to you, you did however move past it; which is what forgiveness would lead to in the end," Dumbledore tells Harry as he nods his head and looks away from Harry and back into the darkness beyond the window before letting out a deep sigh. "I have lived a long life filled with many regrets, one of my greatest is that of how I failed you in so many ways. It has been on my mind as of late, a lot of my regrets have, but none more than my decision to leave you with your aunt and uncle that night," Dumbledore admits his own sin, his eyes flashing with sorrow.
"Professor-" Harry tries to say, to avoid something he had long forgiven the old Headmaster for, but Dumbledore raises his hand and cuts Harry off from talking.
"No, Harry. Please, let me say my piece," Dumbledore asks, causing Harry to pause before leaning back in his seat with a sigh. "It is one of my greatest regrets that I had agreed to your aunt's demands. at the time, I had thought that she was grieving the loss of Lily and wanted nothing to do with the magical world. Which, at the time, made far more sense than what I learned she actually did; it was a mistake on my part that I did not delve into her mind to find out what she was planning," he admits with a sigh and a shake of his head. "But I had long ago decided not to use that type of magic on those who could not defend themselves from it, and you suffered for that. I should have taken you with me when I left that night; I should have seen you in Andromeda's care or even Augusta Longbottom's, but I didn't," he says mournfully, his lips pressing tightly together in anger that was aimed at himself.
"And I told you that I forgave you for that," Harry tells the Headmaster with a sigh. "It wasn't your fault, not completely- it was just a shit roll of the dice is all," he says with a shrug.
"I know, but I can't help but think of the mistakes of my life in my old age," Dumbledore admits with a disheartened sigh.
"Is it because you're dying?" Harry bluntly asks, his eyes drifting toward Dumbledore's arm while the man himself gives Harry a surprised look.
"How…" Dumbledore asks, confusion clear on his face.
Harry shuffles uncomfortably in his seat. "Something… happened in Hokkaido when I was fighting the Oni there," he admits with a conflicted look on his face. "Since then, my connection to, I don't know- Death, I guess, has gotten deeper in a way," Harry explains as he pushes himself up from his seat and walks back over to the window. He could feel Dumbledore's eyes on him as he began to fiddle with his ring once more. "It's- it's like a voice whispering in the back of my mind, a thought that isn't mine, and I just… know when people are going to kick the bucket, Like you," he says as he drops his hands and turns to look at Dumbledore once more. "You've got eight months, at most," he tells Albus as if he were passing sentence. Dumbledore looks surprised at first before it slowly melts to something akin to acceptance.
"I see," the headmaster says slowly, looking down at his blackened hand. "Severus told me I wouldn't have long. By the end of next year was his best guess," he says before pausing and letting out a soft chuckle. "It's oddly freeing in a way to have a definitive timeline," he says while looking back at Harry with a soft smile.
"Are you serious?" Harry asks, perplexed.
"I assure you, Harry, I am not your godfather," Dumbledore says back with a quirk of his lips.
"That's not what I meant," Harry shot back with a heated glare. "You're just… okay with it? That you're dying?" He questioned, confused at why the old Headmaster would even think like that. "Why not just cut off your arm if it's killing you, or have Scáthach or Dian Cécht take a look at it and heal it?!" He yells at the Professor for his nonchalant attitude to his impending demise, as if he were talking about leaving for a vacation to France.
The Headmaster just chuckles. "Ah, I had forgotten how young you are, Harry. No matter how mature you may act, or how old your soul is, you are still a child in many ways," he tells Harry with a smile and twinkling eyes as Harry looks even more confused. "My boy, I am over a hundred years old- I have lived a long and fulfilling life, I have done many wondrous and great things as well have come to have my regrets. If these are to be my last few months among the living, then I will use that time to prepare you the best I can to finally defeat Tom; and then, I will die," he says with a shrug and a smile at Harry. "And to be frank, I am quite tired, Harry, and I'm ready for the next great adventure," he says with a soft smile and exhausted eyes.
Harry Potter, 3rd floor corridor, ten minutes later.
Harry steps off the revolving staircase that leads to the headmaster's office to press the back of his palms to his eyes and sigh deeply as he rubs them. "First Luna, now Dumbledore- just perfect," he thought to himself before dropping his hands and, not for the first time, wished he had eaten the pomegranate seeds and left the living word behind.
But he didn't - he couldn't, after all; he had a monster to hunt.
"One thing at a time, Luna first," he mumbles to himself as he begins to make his way to Gryffindor Tower intent on catching some sleep before waking up before everyone else and heading to the library; he needed to figure out a way to keep Luna safe from Lomm, teachers word be damned. But before he could leave the T-intersection in front of the headmaster's office, he paused as he felt a pulse of magic just before him. Harry frowns as he inspects the air in front of him, narrowing his eyes to barely make out the dancing fractals of a ward before him.
Curious, Harry raises his hand and brings it close to the invisible wall of magic only for a strong Zap! to hit his finger as it nears it.
"Ow! Fuck!" Harry curses before sticking the finger into his mouth to suck on it to soothe the pain. Before he could begin to figure out how to take apart the ward or why someone was dumb enough to try and trap him; a voice speaks out from behind him.
"You've been avoiding me," her voice rings out in the warded space almost causing Harry to groan out loud; because the truth is he was avoiding her. It was nothing malicious or mean behind it, just the simple want to avoid a conversation he didn't want to have. He had taken to hiding under his cloak to sneak around the castle and had gotten his meals in the kitchen to avoid the Great Hall.
But it seems his luck has finally run out.
Harry turns around and meets the piercing blue eyes of Delphini Lestrange. "Hello, Delphini," Harry says, his tone flat and emotionless as he speaks.
"Heya, Pothead. Miss me?" Delphini says back, her lips hooking upwards as she leans against the gargoyle that protects the headmaster's office, her eyes sparkling with mischief in anger in equal parts. "Because I sure have missed you."
Chapter done!
It just took me…a few months…
Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed!