A/N- This chapter contains emotional abuse centering around body shaming and physical abuse. Please consider this when you decide to read.

I have been honored by the one and only Dollybigmomma who Beta'd this chapter and is an absolute angel. Give her work a look!

Thank you for reading, please consider reviewing?

Bella

The annoyingly shrill alarm blaring woke Bella up out of a restless sleep. She was so exhausted last night that she locked her door. If Charlie had tried to, she was sure he would have been able to get in anyway. Of course, if he had tried to get in and discovered her attempted buffer, he would have been more furious, but she just needed to sleep. With the promise of a warning before he could get to her, her body was able to relax just enough to fall into a shallow unconsciousness. She smacked the beeping box and laid back in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. My first day back at Forks. The last time I went to school here I was six. Would anyone remember me? She tried to rid her head of those thoughts. Why would they remember her? She didn't matter to them, or to anyone else there. Except for maybe Charlie, but she still hadn't found out exactly what his caring about her would entail.

Bella pulled herself out of bed, the cold trying to hook itself into her. It wasn't too far into fall, but it was already much colder than she expected. All those years in Arizona had made her soft. She hurried to the bathroom, turning the hot water on and hoping the steam would fill the room quickly. As she stripped for a shower, she examined the remaining bruises on her body. They were just starting to yellow, still more in their greenish stage. Nearly a week old. They were healing, but they were certainly still painful. They would soon disappear if not replaced by fresh ones, though Bella knew better than to hope. She got into the shower, turning so the nearly boiling water was able to hit her from all angles, attempting to warm herself up. She had a feeling it was going to be her last trace of warmth on this dreary day. When she finished, she turned off the water and raced back to her room to get dressed. She threw on a long-sleeved shirt and pulled a hoodie over it, the typical Bella outfit.

When she heard Charlie thumping around in his room, she found her eyes searching for the time. Shit. He got up earlier than Phil did, at least then she got a warning from Renee. Rushing down the stairs, she made a mental inventory of the fridge and pantry She would need to go shopping, but luckily, Charlie had the basics.

The coffee machine was already sputtering, so Charlie must've taken care of that. She wasn't sure if he would be mad or not, but she guessed she would find out the hard way.

Working quickly, she fried the eggs and made toast for Charlie. As she heard him thudding down the stairs, she was finishing up, thankfully. When he saw her at the stove, he stopped for a moment before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Morning, Bella, making yourself some breakfast?" He sat down at the kitchen table, opening a newspaper.

"No, Ch- Dad, it's for you." She slipped the finished breakfast onto a plate and set it in front of him carefully. As she turned her back to start the dishes, she felt her guard go up. I didn't check how he likes his eggs. Does he even like eggs? Toast? What if he had other breakfast plans? What if-

"You made me breakfast? Thanks, Bells. I normally just have coffee, but this is a nice surprise." Charlie's tone seemed genuine, but she couldn't help her tension. A trapped breath eased from her lungs, and she drew in another cautiously. Charlie piped up, as she was scrubbing the pan. "Aren't you going to be late for school? You don't need to do those dishes right now."

Well, that was different. Phil normally didn't allow a dish to sit in the sink. She'd hurt her fingers often, since she didn't have time to let the pots and pans cool off before she had to start cleaning.

"Oh, are you sure, Dad? It's no trouble, I wouldn't want to leave a mess in the kitchen."

"I don't mind at all, Bells, you made it for me. Besides, you shouldn't be late on your first day back." He didn't look up from his paper, and she turned off the sink, drying her hands on her jeans.

"Okay, I'll go get ready." she hurried up the stairs. Apparently, he cared a lot about punctuality. She would have to keep that in mind.

As she finished getting ready, she made sure to check herself in the mirror, like she did every day before school in Arizona. It was much easier to get away with long sleeves here. The dark circles under her eyes weren't good but were pretty unavoidable. Since Phil was careful not to leave bruises on her face, the dark circles were the only marks there. On her neck, there were some bruises, nearly invisible now She was sure no one else would be able to spot them. Besides, who would care enough to look that closely?

Bella looked at herself in the mirror one last time, knowing it would be an exceptionally tiring day. As long as people didn't touch her, and as long as she could stay aware, it would be fine.

Stay in public, stay polite, don't draw attention.

If she could stay invisible, maybe there would be no men who would notice that thing about her that Phil talked about. She knew she wasn't being realistic.

Bella started the walk to school, as she had no car, and since Charlie's house was fairly close to the school. She kept her headphones in and her head down, protecting herself from the few spare drops the constant cloud cover seemed to hold. Many cars drove past her, some sending up a spray that she only barely managed to dodge. That would be just the thing, huh? Wet as well as cold? As she approached the school, she saw a parking lot full of the usual suspects; the vast majority being old trucks, small four-doors, and the occasional minivan.

She found her way to the office and collected her schedule, a map, and a sheet of paper she needed every teacher to sign. She saw some familiar faces, some she suspected she remembered from early elementary school, though puberty had changed them enough she couldn't be sure. She had stopped going to school in Forks at six, and while she had kept coming back during the summer and other breaks, she was never close enough with anyone to see them during her short time here. Except for Jacob and his friends. And the Cullens. She tried to put that out of her mind, but it wouldn't go.

The Cullens very likely still went here. Unless they had moved, but how often did people move out of Forks? It didn't matter. They hadn't been friends in years, and not close for years before that. They were students like any other. It didn't matter.

Bella decided to find her locker after school, since she had no books to store anyway. Besides, she was short on time, considering she hadn't been to this school before and would surely need time to get hopelessly lost before class.

Her head stayed down, as she was following the map to her English class. Her shoes, still wet from her walk to school made small squeaks with every step on the linoleum. She ground her teeth. She couldn't help but feel a spotlight on her, some evil foley artist highlighting her location, no matter how quietly she tried to move. When she was only a room or two away from her intended target, a hand appeared on her shoulder, coming from behind her. "Isabella?" The grip was firm, and she froze.

The previously loud hallway drifted away. Her body was taut. The hand tugged on her shoulder, and she turned, acquiescing to their whim.

Relax, Bella. School is safe, there are too many witnesses. You won't be hurt, not here, not right now. You're in a busy hallway, it'll be alright. Breathe, Bella, breathe, breathe, breathe-

The panicked cloud lifted from her mind, and she shook her head slightly. "Mike?" She could tell it was him, even after so many years; the blond hair, the hooked nose, the pale blue eyes, they were all unchanged with time. He had been a friendly kid.

"Yea, I can't believe you remembered me!" He squeezed her in a hug, and she made herself take a steady breath. She remembered that now, too…the constant touching, the overfriendliness. When they were kids, Alice had called him a puppy, and as he pulled away, Bella could nearly imagine his tail wagging.

"Isabella!" Her full name was like nails on a chalkboard, she couldn't stand it, and she flinched. Phil was the only one who ever used it. "I didn't know you were coming back!" Mike said much too loudly. It drew some attention, and she saw some do a double-take and quickly start typing on their phones. Great.

She gently took a step back, getting out of his grip. "I, uh, yeah, I'm back. It was only a recent decision."

"Well, that's awesome!" He stood there like he was waiting for her to continue the conversation. Like they were in fact, old friends, and not two teenagers whose greatest connection was that they had once played on the same jungle gym at recess nearly ten years ago.

She lifted her class schedule, "I've got class, so…see you later," she said noncommittally and stepped to the side.

"Oh, let me see that!" Mike snatched the paper from her hands, and Bella nearly snatched it back. She didn't like the idea of him knowing where she was going. It was something Phil did.

He never came inside, though she couldn't be sure he wouldn't. She was generally safe, if not at peace. Sometimes, he would walk by the school when he knew she was in a class that had a window facing him. He wanted her to know that he would always find her, that he could always show up, whenever he wanted. Mike would know her schedule now, and he could do it, too.

As he was looking over it, she desperately wanted to take it back, but she knew it would only annoy him, make him angry at her personally. Thankfully, he was already handing it back, having studied it closely. "Looks like we have a few classes together, I can walk you to some of them if you want."

"No thanks, Mike, that's alright. I can make it myself." she stepped away towards the English class that people were now funneling into, but he grabbed her arm.

"Let me? Please? I just don't want you to get lost." His eyes were kind, but it felt cold, ingenuine. He looked like Phil. He had to have been faking it.

She snatched her arm away, harder than she'd intended. He would probably get her back for that later. "Isabella?" he asked after her, feigning concern, but she filed into the English class along with the stragglers She took the seat as far from the door as she could. In case he came after her, she needed enough warning.

Class started, and she could barely pay attention, her eyes jumping between the door and the window, just in case. The only thing that broke through the panic was that awful, awful word.

"Isabella? Can you please stand up and introduce yourself?" the teacher, a kind-faced woman, asked her, and her stomach twisted hearing it.

Bella stood as she was asked. "Please, call me Bella. I lived here until I was six, then I moved to Arizona, and now I'm back." She quickly sat down and saw the teacher making a note, hopefully, to never, ever call her that again.

The class continued as, what she assumed, was usual. The class had conversations about last week's assigned reading of The Great Gatsby. Mrs. Martin told Bella she would give her time to catch up and not to worry about taking part in the discussion. Bella thanked her, though she had already read the book before.

Bella forgot to get Mrs. Martin to sign her slip, as she bolted out of the classroom. She went to her next class quickly, hoping to avoid Mike, in case he decided to attempt "gallantry" again. She could feel him following somewhere behind her, and she even heard him calling out at one point, but she pretended not to hear. In the crowd of the hallway, which apparently existed no matter how small the school, she would be safe from him. His calling out to her caused a bit of a stir, and she just tried to keep her head down until she got to her next class.

The next few classes went much the same, though she tried to get the teachers to sign her slip at the beginning of class. She corrected everyone who called her Isabella, and luckily, they all seemed to accept it without question. In Biology, her last class before lunch, she took her seat at an empty table. Mr. Molina told her that her partner was absent today, but it was alright because they weren't doing any partner work today.

This partner better not be a slacker. I need to keep my grades up in case Charlie checks and of course, Phill will. I'm not letting some loafer pull my grade down.

...

After Biology was lunch, her least favorite period besides gym She didn't get anything since she had no money, and went to sit at an empty table, but another goddamn person grabbed her goddamn arm. "Isabella!"

She was so sick of it; it was only because of the years of practice she had pushed down her instincts that she didn't turn around and clock whoever it was. That name, that name, that name! God, that name made her feel dirty, made her feel small, made her feel like prey.

Between her teeth, she hissed, "Bella, please, call me Bella," as she turned. The face was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. She was artificially tan, with brown hair that looked shiny and bouncy, like some kind of shampoo commercial.

Bella's empty stare told the preppy girl that she didn't recognize her, and she said, "It's Jessica, remember me?" She did remember her. She was the sickly-sweet little girl who pretended to be everyone's friend. Bella was pretty sure she was the one who had put gum in her hair in the first grade. The little things she used to worry about…

"Oh, yeah, Jessica. I'm sorry, it's just been so long," Bella faked a smile, and Jessica turned on hers as well.

"Well, Bella, come sit with us, you don't want to get used to that table, it's usually taken." Then, Jessica linked her arm through Bella's, whisking her away towards a more crowded table. She had Bella sit down between her and another girl, thank goodness.

"Hi, Bella, it's Angela, in case you don't recognize me. It's alright if you don't, you look different, too." Of course, it was Angela, she was always so kind, and those glasses were always slipping off her nose as a child, just like now, as she reached up to push them back up.

Bella's smile turned a bit more genuine now. "Hey, Angela."

Mike sat down at the table across from us. "Isabe-"

"It's Bella," Angela and Jessica interrupted him. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have friends again.

He put up his hands defensively. "Fine, fine, Isabella, Bella, whatever," he mumbled, and Bella noticed sweet Angela crossing her arms, giving him as much of the stink eye as someone as sweet as Angela could. "So, anyway, Bella, how's your first day back so far?"

He dug into his food, and everyone looked at Bella expectantly. Their attention made her nervous. "It's fine so far, normal high school, ya know? But how about you guys? What have I missed since I moved to Arizona?"

That set them off, thankfully. The rest of lunch was spent with people talking over one another, telling Bella who dated whom, who had a crush on whom, and embarrassing stories. She was sure no one would be happy that they were being brought up again, but at least it meant no one asked her questions, including why she didn't have lunch.

Angela, ever the kindhearted girl, inconspicuously shifted her lunch closer to Bella, angling an open bag of baby carrots towards her. Bella nodded a thank you and took one. As she bit down, she heard a sharp snap.

...

"Mom, it doesn't fit anymore." Bella was eleven, and she had just come back from her dad's. While she was away, she had grown. She was taller and bigger than before, a change which had been hidden by her clothes in Washington. At Charlie's, all her clothes were loose, as he had said they were play clothes, clothes it was alright to get dirty or torn. She had spent the whole summer outdoors with her friend, Jake, swimming in lakes, barefoot, climbing trees, and scraping knees. What she didn't know at the time was that she had just come home from her last summer in Washington.

Bella had hit a growth spurt, and none of her clothes in Arizona fit her anymore. When she put on her favorite old shirt, it showed her stomach, and it was a bit tighter than she was used to. Renee was trying to reassure her when Phil walked by her door.

"Looks like Isabella is getting a belly," he teased, and Renee gave him a look. He wasn't a tyrant yet. Just a man with bad days. Really bad days.

"What? I'm just telling the truth. Apparently, she went to Charlie's and ate like a pig, now she's fat!" He cracked open a beer and flopped onto the couch.

"Phil!" Renee turned back to the even sadder Bella and softened her voice, "That's not true, sweetie, your body is just changing, you grew! There's nothing wrong with that, it's just a part of growing up. We can just get you some new clothes."

Phil got mad at that. "Not with my money you aren't. Not when she'll just grow out of them when she gains her next twenty."

Bella started crying then, and Renee hugged her. "Phil, it's normal for girls her age to grow, she isn't fat, she's just hitting puberty."

He threw his hands up. "Fine, fine, we can get her new clothes, but we'll have to size up for Isabelly here."

"Phillip! Don't you talk to her like that!" Renee stormed after him out into the living room. Bella was able to watch the whole terrible scene unfold, as her room was adjacent to the living room.

"What? She's getting fat, and you'd better hope she knocks it off, or else no one is going to like her. No one likes a little piggy," he snorted mockingly, making himself laugh.

Renee grabbed his beer out of his hand. "I think you've had enough, Phil," Renee said calmly, but insistently, the tone she used when she was done arguing.

Instead of it ending the argument though, Phil stood up, grabbing her arm to stop her from taking his beer to the kitchen, where she had planned to pour it down the drain. She had done it a time or two before, but Bella had never seen Phil react to it like this.

Phil was frozen. It was silent, and Bella stifled her crying, something in his stance warning her that danger was close, and she shouldn't draw attention to herself. Phil looked down, towering what seemed like a foot taller than Renee. The mean smile he had been sporting was now gone. In a quick movement Bella barely caught, he punched Renee in the stomach. She doubled over, dropping the beer, and he grabbed her by the hair. "You don't tell me when I've had enough, and you don't yell at me like that. Apologize, now."

Bella was petrified. Bella felt so in view, but she couldn't move to hide, too afraid that he would notice and turn his anger on her. She had only ever heard him raging like that. Normally, he sent her away before he started on Renee. She had never seen him hit her before.

Renee hadn't caught her breath yet, and Phil yanked on her hair, making her look up at him. "Apologize!"

"I'm sorry, Phil, I'm so sorry," she wheezed out, and he shoved her away. Renee fell hard, and when she tried to catch herself, her arm let out a sickening crack.

Phil started watching what Bella could eat after that.

...

"Right, Bella?" Jessica's sharp words pulled Bella out of her memory, and she nodded, chewing the carrot slowly. They went back to talking, and Bella pushed the bag of carrots back to Angela. She didn't feel like eating anymore.

The rest of the day passed slowly. As much as she wanted to focus on school, the only relatively safe place she'd had in the last number of years, she couldn't. Phil was still pulling her strings and influencing her as much as he ever had. Even though she didn't have to see him daily, he was still there, in her mind, taking her focus off school.

Since she couldn't pay attention anyway, she wanted to resort to her old defense mechanism of going into autopilot and being free of her emotions, but it didn't happen. Instead, she suffered through every second of school. Every "Isabella" uttered, every touch, every interaction with a boy, memory, and simple introduction, she felt. It all grated on her nerves, and it took so much of her energy to act appropriately, it drained her.

By the time the last bell rang, Bella was nearly passing out from exhaustion. She had underestimated how much energy the day would require. She'd barely held it together.

She hurried out of the school and through the parking lot, passing her… acquaintances…as they tried to chat. When she finally arrived home, she locked the front door behind her, racking her mind for something she was forgetting, but she just couldn't think. She made her way up the stairs, and she collapsed in her bed, her backpack falling to the floor beside the bed. Her body was so heavy, so, so heavy…