A/N- This chapter contains emotional abuse, please consider this when deciding to read.

I know I haven't responded to any but I want you to know I have been reading each and every one of them, and getting excited over every single letter, so thank you thank you thank you!

This chapter was not only Beta'd but brought into being by the wonderful Dollybigmomma, if we hadn't spoken on the phone for an hour and a half, this chapter, and the transition into the rest of the story would have never happened.

Bella

That weekend, Bella found herself in an empty house. Charlie was working the weekend shift, which left her blissfully alone during the day.

She languished in the shower, able to relax, knowing there would be no unexpected company. Afterwards, she took a long nap, waking up every hour or so to check that his car was still absent from the driveway, and that there were no calls or texts waiting from Phil. They hadn't made her check in since that first night.

Even though she had been home alone plenty in Phoenix, Phil usually left her with a list a mile long, and he would insist that everything needed to be done before he returned. Or Renee would be home as well. She wasn't bad, but she could never relax, as Phil had instructions for her as well. It didn't matter if she spent every moment he was gone cooking and cleaning, he would manage to find something wrong. If she accepted it and tried to relax, he would know, he would always know.

She knew there was a chance Charlie would come home before she thought, so she got her relaxing out of the way early. After her much-needed nap, she threw on one of the sweatshirts he had left in her dresser and grabbed the cash he had left her for groceries. She hopped in her truck and drove to the store.

Grocery shopping was a chore she also did in Arizona, so there was a level of comfort and familiarity to it. As she pulled a cart free and began making her way around the store, she fell into a comfortable space. She was never bothered here. The grocery store was always a pleasant place for her…when she got to go alone.

Bella had one of her headphones in, listening to her music and checking the list. She planned to make a few meals ahead of time, that way there would always be food at the ready, should Charlie suddenly demand it.

Plus, when there was more food around, it was harder to notice when some was missing. She was used to sneaking her food, and while Charlie hadn't said anything about it yet, she wanted to be ready in case Phil gave him any ideas.

While she shopped, she thought about the past week. She was surprised it had gone as well as it had. She'd had people to sit with at lunch, instead of hiding in the library. She saw the Cullens again, but luckily, since Phil hadn't called yet, she had time to come up with an excuse, or fancy wording. She knew she wouldn't be able to entirely prevent his reaction, but maybe with the right delivery, she could mitigate his rage.

As she pushed her cart out of the aisle, it collided with another cart. She immediately said, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" right as the other person said the same.

When she looked up, she recognized the figure. She was older now, signs of aging just now reaching her face. Her hair was a light brown, with honey blonde highlights bringing a healthy color to her face. She was in nicer clothes, despite only being at a grocery store, like she had just come from a work meeting, or perhaps was on her way.

"Esme?" she found the woman's name slipping out. She looked surprised for a moment before correcting her reaction and smiling.

"Is that you, Bella? I heard you were back!" Esme abandoned her cart and came over to Bella, the woman's eyes drinking Bella in. "Wow, you've grown into such a beautiful young woman. How are you? How is your mom?" She had such a normal tone to her voice that Bella didn't think she was playing any games.

"Thank you, Esme. I'm good, my mom is good." she wasn't sure what else to say. Esme had always been so kind and welcoming, from the very first time she'd met her, not that she could remember much from that far back.

"You'll have to tell your mom hi from me. Oh, and Bella, you must come over for dinner sometime, I know we'd all be interested to hear everything about your time in Arizona."

Bella nodded. There was some more polite chatter back and forth before they parted ways, her reminding her of her invite to have dinner at their house before waving and walking away. There was no way she could ever actually accept her invite. To be back there? Phil would beat her mother nearly to death. And then Bella when she visited next.

What makes you think he'd find out?

Bella shook her head hard. He always finds out. He can tell when you're lying, and when you're hiding something. Being too close to Edward would be the worst, most fatal decision she could make. She resumed shopping, trying to reclaim her comfort in the familiar chore.

When she returned home, groceries in hand, she checked the clock. She still had hours before Charlie was supposed to be home. She turned on her music and went through the familiar steps. Altogether, she made four different dishes, so Charlie would have a choice for his meals throughout the week. She had a lasagna that needed at least a day before baking, and she hoped Charlie wouldn't be upset.

Phil didn't like seeing something that wasn't an option immediately. He would always demand that she cook it, despite not letting it rest long enough. When it came out bad, he would punish her. Always. He would dump the still hot lasagna on the floor, demanding she clean it up immediately.

She put the lasagna on a lower level of the fridge, hiding it behind some vegetables she knew Charlie wouldn't reach for.

When she finished cleaning up after herself, and there wasn't any evidence of her cooking frenzy, she went back up to her room. She laid down on her bed. Charlie would be home soon, she wasn't sure when, but she knew there was no way she would be able to relax once he got home.

Whenever Phil had an extra shift, he would always come home angry. He was usually too tired to do much to us physically, but that was when he'd start the mind games.

She was about to start in on some homework, but her phone began chirping. Her heart sank in her chest. She knew who it was. Grabbing it, she answered and pressed it to her ear quickly.

"Hello, Isabella." His cool, cruel tone scared her. It was like her thoughts of his mind games notified him. Think of the devil, and the devil will call.

"Hi, Phil," she answered softly. She was in dangerous waters.

"Your mother is at work. I wanted to ask you how your first week at school went."

My days of preparation left her. She didn't know how she would tell him, or what she would tell him. She didn't have her carefully planned wording to present to him.

"Um, it was fine. I think I have a routine now. I just cooked and cleaned for Ch- my dad," she corrected herself quickly, but she knew he had heard. She didn't know how much of a power play he was going for, but any sign of disrespect to Charlie could be something Phil would use against her, maybe telling him.

"Dad…uh…he got me a car." she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the reaction. She knew he wouldn't like it. There was a freedom that came with a car, a freedom she was new to, but growing to like. A freedom that Phil would absolutely not approve of. She tried to quickly make it better. "He didn't want to drive me to school, and the weather would make it hard for me to get there in the winter. Plus, I'm required to go grocery shopping and run errands for him." Maybe making it about her usefulness instead of her freedom would help.

There was silence on the other end of the line. She kept quiet as well. He was there, she knew it. Trying to prompt him would only serve to annoy him.

"That's very nice of him. Your father must be pretty confident that you won't misuse this car."

"He, uh, he gave me some rules before I got it. I have a curfew, and I uh, I need to let him know when I'm out." she cringed a little. Only a bit of a lie. Charlie only insisted on knowing if she would be late, but that counted, right?

"I'll be sure to ask him all about your comings and goings." she froze. She was reminded about the possibility of Charlie tracking her. But that was alright…right? she wasn't planning on misusing the truck. Even when Charlie told her she had a curfew, she thought it silly, since she never intended on being anywhere other than school. Right?

"Of course, Phil. It lets me get home earlier, so I can start homework and cooking sooner." Not a lie, just not what she'd really been using it for so far.

"Have you been a good girl, Isabella?" His tone shifted. Instead of the vaguely threatening tone, it seemed like he knew something. Had Charlie told him about the Cullens? Or my lack of isolation? How would he know? It's not like Charlie and I had spoken. Sure, he might know that the Cullens hadn't moved away, but I hadn't been doing anything to even imply, right?

She gulped, unsure of how to make it through the ordeal. She didn't know why she was so scared. He wasn't here. He couldn't hurt her, not right now, anyway. And he said Renee was at work, so he couldn't even threaten that…not right now, anyway.

But Phil had a very long memory. Sometimes, a punishment would come days after an infraction, even weeks. He wasn't lying when he said that he would save up all her beatings for the next time she visited. She would need to tread carefully. There was enough time to build up so many punishments, it could be brutal.

"I've been doing well in school. I've been taking care of household chores and managing the house. I've made sure not to be a burden on my dad. I haven't been talking to anyone outside of school, and not much in school. I haven't broken any rules." She tried, she really tried to keep her voice from pleading. They were all true statements, though she knew if he had forced her to answer if she was being a good girl with either yes or no, the answer would be no.

Phil called her a good girl when she was at her most meek, submissive, and subservient. She wasn't being that. She was being friendly with people. She was being friendly with boys. At least, she was staying in their presence. The mere proximity to her wickedness was often too much, as Phil told her. She didn't need to do anything to make a man want to hurt her, so showing any attention at all was putting them in a place where they would need to hold back.

Bella was not being a good girl. She was being wicked and stupid and evil. Even now, not admitting to Phil was another point against her.

Phil seemed to know exactly what was on her mind. He made her video call him, and he gave her instructions. She wasn't safe from his lessons. She obeyed him, his every word. If she didn't, there would be a beating waiting for Renee when she got home, and she refused to add to Renee's pain, just because Bella was being wicked.

By the time he hung up, she was crying silently. He had forced her to hit herself, and when he decided she did it too gently, he made her do it again, but harder. She was lucky though. He hadn't pushed it far enough where there would be too many marks from her own violence. There was more he had asked of her. Things she refused to let her mind think about. Since she wasn't there to receive the torment in person, he attempted to make her experience as bad as it could be while she was alone in the supposed safety of her room. He succeeded.

I deserved it. I deserved it. I deserved it.

At least, that was what he'd said. In the time he was directing her, it had begun to rain. The sound of the rain outside her room reminded her of herself. There were things going on, just outside, but the silence inside was so, so loud.

Phil said it was a lesson, a reminder to follow the rules, but she had been, hadn't she?

It was a lesson. She needed to keep herself in check, or how could she expect anyone else to? That was what he wanted her to remember, to take away. But the only thing she could think about was how she could have done better, and she wasn't sure she could have.

She was polite, she was distant, she was barely present, and it still wasn't good enough. Was it supposed to be a reminder to not get too comfortable? But how could she? There was no room to relax, or even breathe, except for the times she was entirely alone.

And she was. Entirely alone, that is. She had been, for a long, long time. Phil made sure to keep her away from people, and he said it was for their own good, or hers, when it came to boys. At least in Phoenix, she could convince herself that she had her mother, but her lack of communication since she had come to Forks reminded her that she hadn't been there. Not really. She couldn't talk to her without fear for their situation. She couldn't call her a friend, and she certainly couldn't call her a mother.

She balled up her fist and realized that she was…mad? It was a feeling she hadn't let herself have in a while. Maybe it was just frustration, or intense exhaustion. She wanted to do as he said, she knew he wanted to torment her, but he wasn't wrong when he said there was danger for her. She wanted to stay safe, as safe as she could be anyway. But she didn't know how much more of a good girl she could be.

A sudden flash of light came in through her window, and she knew Charlie was home. She quickly righted her clothes and wiped the tears from her face. She checked her eyes and decided she wouldn't be able to really keep her crying from Charlie.

She hurried downstairs to meet him when he got in. She went around the kitchen, ready to reheat whatever meal he preferred, but when he got in, he apparently noticed her swollen face and bloodshot eyes right away.

"Bells, are you alright? You look like you were crying."

She nodded and managed to get out, "Yeah, sorry, Dad, I guess I'm just a little homesick."

She realized she wasn't exactly lying. While she was far, far from Phil, and it seemed Charlie was going to save his cruelty for the very worst moments, it was harder here. Back in Phoenix, she knew what she would be dealing with, every day. Here, there was more uncertainty, more mind games, and it made her long for the guaranteed pain she had faced there. Here, it seemed like there were options, she had a chance to live a little better than when she was there, but the worry of it was so, so hard.

Bella fell asleep that night thinking about how she could be better, how she could keep herself and her mother safe. and how she could force herself to be the good girl Phil wanted her to be. Her night was full of dreams, or more accurately nightmares. Memories of supposed infractions, and the lessons that followed them haunted her, waking her every few hours, covered in sweat, staring fearfully into the darkness of her room.