A/N- No warnings for this chapter, since it's EPOV.
I love to see how passionate you all are in the reviews! A few reassurances are in order!
This story will have a HEA, as long as it may take to get there, I promise I will not leave anyone suffering (except for those who deserve it of course). I know it can be frustrating to read, but Bella won't be getting better overnight. The road to recovery is long, full of potholes, closed lanes, and speed bumps, but know that we are on that road!
Additionally, I know we have basically no romance thus far. While I hadn't really planned for a slow burn, Bella is not capable of being in a healthy romantic relationship at this point in time, and I wouldn't want to downplay her trauma for the sake of romance. Luckily I haven't gotten any nasty-grams, you are all being so kind in the reviews and I am endlessly appreciative. Thank you to 2old4fanfic for writing my 100th review!
I didn't imagine I would be getting this much love on my very first fanfic, especially while it's incomplete, but I'm giddy with each and every new review!
Alright, after suffering through my long AN (or skipping it) I give you Chapter 10.
Edward
Edward groaned and rolled over in his bed. It was Saturday. Late morning, maybe even afternoon. The warm light of late morning beamed through the large windows. All the light made sleeping difficult, but Edward was nothing if not ambitious. Again and again, he closed his eyes, pulling the sheets over his head. Again and again, he found sleep no longer waiting for him. When the glorious smell of his mother's breakfast came wafting through the house, he decided to concede the battle for sleep, for now.
He rolled out of his bed and threw on some acceptable clothes. Edward went about his morning routine, sleep still in his eyes, despite it's elusiveness over the past hour or so. As he began his descent to the kitchen, the smell of bacon, sausage, and pancakes started to wake him up. If he were a cartoon, he would be floating down the stairs on the scent trails, his tongue hanging out. Unfortunately, when he made it to the kitchen, his cartoon bubble would have burst, making him fall on his butt.
Emmett was sitting at the kitchen table, already in workout gear, shoveling eggs and bacon into his gaping mouth. Edward grimaced at his brother's intensity, since the insatiable need for food that puberty had brought seemed to linger in Emmett much longer than in the other boys.
"Why not just throw it in the blender and chug it down?" he grumbled, sitting down and grabbing some food.
Emmett pretended to think about it for a second and then shook his head "If I'm going to drink eggs I'll have them raw, but mom makes them so fluffy I'd hate to waste them." He shot a grin at their mom who smiled back and rolled her eyes.
"You look like you had a rough morning honey." Mom kissed Edward on the top of his head and gave him a little squeeze.
"Couldn't sleep," he said plainly, taking the first bite of his breakfast. It was kind of a lie. He slept… badly. Every time he tried to sleep, increasingly obsessive thoughts floated through his head. Some were about Bella, of course, but it seemed that any thought or memory that could really sink their hooks in came floating to the front of his consciousness.
There was the time he was nine and broke one of their mom's favorite plates, but told her Emmett did it.
There was the time he wasn't paying attention when he first started driving and scratched his dad's car, and pretended he had no idea how hit happened when Carlisle asked.
There were the unfortunately numerous times he had accidentally walked in on Rose and Emmett doing… everything.
As that disturbing thought entered his mind again, he tried to make conversation. "So where is everyone else?" It was rare for his house of 7 people to be as quiet as it was. The TV wasn't on, no one was playing music in their rooms- not loudly anyway- and no one else was eating breakfast.
"Well Carlisle is at work, of course. Alice and Rosalie are on their way to Port Angeles, a favorite store of theirs is having a sale apparently, and Jasper has managed to sleep in even later than you it seems." Esme sat down with a steaming cup of coffee, her eyes sparkling with the thoughts of her family.
Esme had told them many, many times that she had always wanted a big, happy family. She and Carlisle married young, just out of undergrad, and began trying. Despite their efforts, they were unable to have a baby. They debated starting IVF but decided that instead of spending the money on a chance, they'd rather spend the money on a sure thing. They soon began adopting, and got Emmett, Alice, and Edward when they were young enough to not remember a time before the Cullens. It was why the three of them more likely to call each other siblings, and to call Esme and Carlisle mom and dad. When Edward was around eight Esme and Carlisle started to foster, Rosalie and Jasper quickly came to live with the them. When it became clear that their parents weren't going to ever get custody back, they became official members of the family.
Esme and Carlisle got the big family they had always wanted. The family all knew that if they had the room, and they thought the dynamics would work, Esme would never stop adding to the family. She and Carlisle had always made it clear that none of them were related to them by blood, but that they were just as much family as anyone else.
The kids and Carlisle gently teased Esme about her "collection" habit. Any battered or broken thing that she thought needed love, was suddenly brought home. The house was covered in plants that had once been withering at some greenhouse, but were now thriving under her loving watch. It was only due to Carlisle's severe allergies that they didn't have every pet from the local animal shelter. Esme was busy, despite having no official job. She refurbished broken furniture from local dumps or thrift shops, and either sold them or donated to local charities. She baked, cooked, and cleaned, and all together took great pride in giving her family the life she thought they deserved.
Despite the very traditional roles their parents took, their approach to parenting was progressive, and based on trust. While other kids had to sneak out to go to parties , or hide their partners, the Cullen kids didn't. And not only because most of the kids were dating- well- each other.
Their parents prioritized communication above all else. Carlisle and Esme told their kids that they could yell at them until they were blue in the face, and set down rule after rule, but kids were going to do what they were going to do. Their mindset was that they'd rather have honest and communicative kids, than rebellious and sneaky kids.
Carlisle had made sure that they all knew signs of alcohol poisoning, roofies, and an overdose. If they found themselves in a situation where they needed help, they knew their parents would help them first, and ask questions later. The Cullen and Hale kids didn't live their lives free of consequences though. Once, when Jasper found himself gambling away his car keys at some party, Carlisle came and bailed him out, buying the car back, but Jasper had to pay him every penny by working a part-time job and taking on extra chores around the house, even making him skip out on a summer camp he was looking forward to.
It made Edward wonder what Bella's parents were like. When she had moved away, her mother, Renee, had married a man named Phil, and Bella had really liked him back then. She always talked about how fun he and Renee were together. Maybe that was why she was so detached now, she missed her old life in Phoenix. But if that were the case, why was she here at all?
Maybe Charlie was super strict now? He had always seemed like a fun, easy-going dad when they were kids, but Edward never really talked to him. Maybe he was a hard ass now, the type to threaten any strange boy she brought home with his gun.
Edward knew there were parents like that out there, as as foreign as it seemed to him. He was certain that his parents would never act like that, though they hadn't gotten a chance to find out for sure how they would react to one of their daughters dating a boy they didn't know.
Rosalie and Emmett started to like each other when they were twelve, but they had tried to hide it from Carlisle and Esme for a few years. Eventually, once the rest of them had clued in, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme had a long, sit-down talk. Alice tried her best to eavesdrop, but she couldn't really make out what they were saying. All the rest of them knew by the end of that conversation, was that Rosalie and Emmett were officially dating, and everyone had a new open-door rule.
A year ago, Jasper and Alice had the same conversation. They had tried to hide it longer, but they were less sneaky than Rose and Emmett had been. As a family they had to endure a fair share of Alabama jokes at first, but no one seemed to mind too much. As other high school couples broke up again and again, his -er- siblings stayed together.
After Alice and Jasper had gotten together, Edward's loneliness seemed much more evident, to him at least. Instead of functioning as a family who had different factions (Cullens and Hales, girls and boys, etc.) it felt like the three couples, and Edward as the permanent seventh wheel. He was fine with it, most of the time, but now that he was trying to escape his thoughts, it would have been nice to have people around more to distract him.
It used to be you and Bella all alone.
Yea, thoughts like that.
His day was luckily low on other thoughts of Bella… relatively. Compared to when he saw her in school and she flooded his mind. He found whole hours passing without thinking of her. Though, when he recognized the hours passing thoughts of Bella would reset the clock.
After those first days worrying that Bella would disappear if he even blinked, her permanence both comforted and worried him. If she was around now, he wouldn't have to worry about her leaving. But if she was around, he wanted to find a way to bring her back into his life.
Then he found himself desperate for a distraction. It was the first time he actually considered going out with the others to whatever meager nightlife the teenagers of Forks could scrounge up.
Emmett got up from the table, taking his plate to the kitchen sink. "Alright, back to training, thanks mom." He grinned and left again, on his way to some football workout or practice.
The remainder of breakfast passed with a comforting silence, since Esme knows Edward requires a bit more time to turn on his brain. When he was done eating, he helped her clean up the kitchen, packing away leftovers for the next time Emmett needed to quickly fill his endless void.
Edward spent the lion's share of the day trying to complete his homework, and while Bella-thoughts didn't distract him too much, he was still unable to focus. He turned on music, tried to distract himself with his phone, and seriously considered going on another drive.
On what seemed to be his thousandth trip downstairs for a glass of water, he heard Esme talking on the phone, now home from the grocery store. She was speaking in a hushed voice, which immediately made him stop on the stairway. He wasn't normally someone who eavesdropped, not like Alice, but when he heard what she was talking about he couldn't help himself.
"Yes, Bella." There was a pause, and he could tell she was talking to Carlisle, there was no one else she would call with that worried tone.. "She looked like a husk, it took everything in me to not bring her home right then and there." another pause. "I know, I know, but you didn't see her Carlisle, if any of our kids looked like that I would immediately sign them up for therapy, and probably an eating disorder support group." She said the last part in a near whisper, and it was only by sheer luck he was able to make it out.
As upset as Edward was, her words somewhat comforted him. He wasn't going crazy or being way too over-protective. Even from a quick run-in, Esme could see that something was wrong with Bella. Unfortunately, it also meant some of his worst fears were confirmed. If Esme could see it too, there really was something wrong. It triggered that box-of-kittens sensor in Esme. It scared him.
Afraid to hear anymore, he jolted back into action, though he made sure to be as noisy as he could coming down the stairs. Mom quickly ended the call and smiled at him. She sent him back upstairs with a full glass and a small snack, and he resigned himself to ignoring his work, aiming for an entirely thoughtless rest of the day.
…
Sunday afternoon, after Edward had managed to scrape together enough brain cells to complete his remaining homework, he laid on his bed, trying to keep his mind occupied with a book he had read a dozen times.
A soft knock sounded from his bedroom door, and without waiting for him to answer, Alice entered his room, she smiled at him and closed the door behind her, flouncing onto his bed beside him.
"What do you want, Alice?" He tried to not look at her, worried her scarily perceptive eyes would catch something in them.
"I wish you wouldn't groan so loudly; it's disturbing to imagine what could be causing it."
"I'm not groaning," He grumbled, pretending to keep reading his book.
"We share a wall," she stated, matter of factly.
Edward groaned, just as she had said "Don't remind me! I don't need to hear my brother and my sister going at it like that." He teased her, and received a pillow to the face.
"If you don't shut up I won't help you with Bella." Alice held another pillow at the ready, prepared to attack, should he make another crack at her expense.
Of course, he didn't. Edward froze when she brought up the B word. Uh, name. "What are you talking about Alice?" She rolled her eyes and threw the pillow at him anyway, which he knocked to the side.
"I'm talking about getting you and Bella together again, obviously."
He scoffed at her "Don't meddle, Alice. She and I are different people now, we probably wouldn't even get along if we talked." It was hard to get those words out. He knew trying to get her to not meddle would be nearly as hard as trying to keep himself away from her, but he couldn't admit it.
"You used to be so close! Even if you don't have so much in common anymore, why couldn't you still be friends?" Alice challenged him and he nearly saw red.
He worked hard to contain the frustration he was feeling. "I don't know, Alice, maybe because she ended our friendship out of nowhere, and her last words to me involved mocking me and telling me never to call or email her again."
Unphased by his words, Alice just stated, "But she never said anything about talking, let alone texting." There was a huge part of him that wanted to kick her out of his room and mope in solitude, but he secretly wanted her to get her way. The pull he felt towards Bella was undeniable, and it had nearly killed him to not even try to really talk to her in biology. In all the classes they had together, he hadn't heard her voice, not even a hint of it. The need to hear her again was stronger than nearly anything. She wouldn't sound like she had when he had last heard her at thirteen, but he wondered if he could even correctly recall what she had sounded like.
"Hello, Earth to Eddie boy." His ruminations were rudely interrupted, as Alice snapped her fingers in front of his face.
"Don't call me that," he said on instinct, waving her fingers away. When his eyes refocused on her, she was smirking.
"Edward, I know you think that it's impossible to be friends again, but I remember you and Bella as kids. You guys were so close, it was like you were the source of each other's sunshine. When she left, it was like a cloudy day, different, but not necessarily bad." Her eyes suddenly turned serious in a way that he hadn't often seen from his usually carefree sister.
"But then something changed. Your sun was gone- not just hiding, gone. I didn't know if you'd ever get it back. I thought you'd gotten better, but I think you just got used to it… got used to what it was like living in the dark. But since she showed up again, I've seen flashes of- well, I wouldn't call it the old you, but it's like you have more hope. And Bella? God, she looks like she's been living in the dark just like you." She looked at him long and hard before continuing "I think you both could use some of that sunshine back again."
"You see it, too?" Edward didn't look at her this time. He was desperately hoping she would tell him he was making things up, maybe being too judgmental, too worried about a girl who might as well have been a stranger to him. He hoped beyond hope that Alice would tell him that Bella seemed just fine, like a normal moody teenager, much like another teenager she knew. Edward just wanted Bella to be okay. However, judging by the silence Alice left, he knew that wasn't the truth.
When she saw his dejected face, she hurried to quell his fears. "Maybe she's just depressed? It's not uncommon, not to mention she just moved in the middle of the semester, hundreds and hundreds of miles from her mom and friends," Alice suggested, and while it all made sense, something about it just felt wrong. Of course, Bella had come at an unusual time, which usually didn't bode well for a smooth transition.
"Maybe, but it doesn't feel like it's just that. She seems like a shadow. She talks to Angela and Jessica and the rest, so it's not like she's isolating herself, but she seems so… absent," Edward trailed off, stuck in his own thoughts instead of sharing them, but Alice didn't seem to mind.
"Well, I have a plan, and I think it'll help you and Bella." Alice looked proud of herself, and he was almost afraid to ask what she had planned, but for Bella's sake, and for his, he did.
Cautiously, he said "Alice, what scheme are you coming up with?"
"Well, I figured we could solve this with some good old-fashioned texting."
A/N- ok so not the most happening so far. You'll have to forgive me if I avoid writing EPOV too much, I find him a bit boring right now, Bella is just so much more interesting. Additionally I'd like your opinions. Do you really like EPOV, should I try to give him his time? Do you like the once a week posting? Or would you be happy to get them randomly whenever the next chapter is ready? Are shorter chapters annoying? Do you hate this long-ass AN?
I'd love to hear from you in either a review, maybe even a PM if you have a whole lot extra to say, let me know!