A/N- Hey gang! This chapter is surprisingly warning-free.

Sorry for the long wait, I recently started up at my seasonal fall job, and balancing it, my first job, and writing hasn't been easy. I hope this chapter, and Bella's growth is a sufficient apology.

Thanks to my sister for playing Beta. Despite not knowing the difference between a simile and a synonym, she is first and foremost a reader, so I think she did ok.

The next morning, Bella felt absolutely sick to her stomach. Just the day before she'd set her mind to being good, to being the meek and submissive girl that she thought would ensure her safety. But she'd spent most of her life trying to be good, and she never felt safe, not once she learned more about the world. Even though it seemed somewhat logical, and even inspired hope, the idea of the danger and consequences she would be opening herself up to had her rushing to the bathroom to hurl.

Bella stayed bent over the toilet until her queasy stomach calmed, and though it didn't offer an active threat of an encore, it did seem to promise a reprieve… for now. She got up and rinsed her mouth out with cold water, splashing some on her face.

There was a concept that her old History teacher loved to go on and on about. He'd said that in the creation of societies, there was a trade-off between the levels of freedom and security that citizens enjoyed. In an authoritarian government, if they somehow weren't corrupt, the citizens were offered higher levels of security, but very little freedom. In a society with high levels of personal freedom, the security of the society was compromised.

At the time Bella hadn't understood why anyone would choose a society with freedom but no security. For someone like her, someone who wouldn't make it in the world without protection, it seemed like giving over some freedom was a no-brainer.

But that had changed. Bella hadn't truly realized how much she was losing in exchange for that safety. Well, relative safety. She hadn't been free from torment and danger. Even under the so-called protection of Phil, she was in danger, just mostly from him. She guessed that's where the "if they were not corrupt" part came in.

He wouldn't have to be so cruel if you weren't so wicked. Don't forget that you deserve it.

When Bella thought, with a slightly clearer head, about the potential for freedom she had never really tasted, a bit of excitement filled her. It was an unfamiliar sensation. Bella had become much more used to viewing the future with anxiety, dread, or the calm peace she'd had when planning her house in the forest, and even that had been new. The excitement, however, as quietly it had appeared, was welcome. It had been a while since she'd looked forward to something. The consequences she would face didn't scare her badly - she was used to it. Angela had said breaking the rules was worth it sometimes, and if Bella was getting the punishment anyway, maybe that was the way to live.

Ignoring her excitement, she decided to not do anything too crazy, except for maybe the party, but she told herself she would ask Charlie about it first. She needed to test the waters, with Charlie, with the world around her, as well as with herself.

She put on her usual full coverage clothes, though this time the primary reason was the cold. The cold felt honest. She knew that when she opened the door to leave, the cold would only grow, not disappear like it had in Phoenix. It wasn't the artificial chill brought on by air conditioning, or fans. It was the real, persistent chill of the changing seasons. For the first time, she welcomed it, instead of just dreaded it.

…

Despite the ever-present long sleeves, Bella felt so exposed. It felt like everyone was looking at her, even though she knew no one cared enough to pay attention to her. It felt as though everyone had gotten the same message this morning: Bella Swan is going to pretend to be normal today, but don't let her catch you looking.

Everything she had learned in Phoenix told her to duck her head, avoid eye contact, and try to hide. But she wanted to give herself a shot. A shot at having a nearly normal life. So, she made herself keep walking, not letting her head dip too low.

In her English class, Edward was already there, and he smiled at her while she was getting to her seat. She was too nervous to smile back, and just sat down instead. The class moved as quickly as it could with Edward sitting behind her. There wasn't much opportunity to be bad, but just letting go of the good girl already felt nice. She was still on high alert, and she still watched what she said, but she wasn't spending every moment trying to be better.

When Mrs. Martin asked a question that left her particularly desperate for an answer, Bella raised her hand. It was the first time she had volunteered in class. The attention made her nervous, but the grateful smile from Mrs. Martin was nice. Bella spent the rest of the class period feeling tentatively pleased.

When she got to Spanish, Alice was again waiting for her, and Bella sat next to her, this time by choice. Alice started her chatter up, and Bella tried to stay present, instead of trying to stay invisible. She asked how Phoenix was, and of course, Bella lied and prompted Alice to take over the conversation, which she did quickly.

Alice only stopped talking when class started, and before Señora could get too far into teaching, Alice nudged her, and quietly said "Bella, can I have your number? We have so much to catch up on!" She held her phone out for her, and Bella froze.

Bella had other people's numbers in her phone, but they weren't people she thought she could actually get close to. The texts Angela and she had exchanged so far revolved around clarifying some questions in their shared classes, and even that felt too tempting. She wasn't sure if Phil had the ability to read her messages or not, but they were the type of impersonal messages he wouldn't object to. Most days anyway. If Phil could read her messages, and if Alice tried to get too friendly with her, he would be furious. Knowing Alice, Bella could never keep things at an arm's length. Though… she could always try to keep things safe, right? If Phil read her messages and saw Bella obediently keeping potential friends at a distance, he would be satisfied… right?

That loneliness sent a feeling of dread over her. She had resigned herself to near solitude a long time ago, throwing herself into reading, schoolwork, and surviving. But now, she was aching for someone to talk to. To really talk to. She wished she could be friends with Alice. If she couldn't make this work, make normalcy work, it would hurt so much more to have her ripped from her again.

Besides, even if you could be friendly with her, she's going to find out what you are eventually and leave you behind, she doesn't want someone like you around her. You aren't good enough, smart enough, nice enough, or pretty enough to be friends with anyone like her.

Bella swallowed thickly, trying to ignore her own thoughts. Because so what? If Alice saw the evil in her, then she would leave, and hopefully warn others away. Alice had always been one to talk. If she saw her for what she truly was, then Alice would leave her alone anyway. Bella wanted to live as normally as she could, and she was ready to accept the consequences, right? Though this wasn't a consequence she had expected, she decided to accept it too.

She took Alice's phone from her gingerly, entered her number and returned it to her. Alice looked excited and tapped away for a moment before grinning and turning back towards the lecture that Bella was completely missing.

Bella's phone dinged quietly from her bag, and Señora looked over towards them for the first time. Apparently not spotting anything suspicious, she resumed class.

Bella's mind was swimming, trying to figure out all the other things she could have ripped from her, and because of it, class went by quickly. It seemed time moved a bit faster when she wasn't second-guessing every movement and action, trying to be better, a good girl.

When the class finally came to an end, she tried to mentally prepare herself for the biggest hurdle: Biology with Edward. Yesterday Mr. Molina had said that they would be doing partner work. Bella would have to talk to Edward. She knew that Phil wouldn't accept that excuse, so even by participating at all, she was breaking the rules, and it both scared and excited her.

Bella sat in her spot and worked hard to keep her head up, instead of hiding it in her notebook like her instincts were begging her to.

As Edward entered, she forced herself to stay relaxed. He's not your best friend anymore, but he still probably won't hurt you right now... Just be normal.

When he sat next to her, she gave him a small smile that he reciprocated. Her heart leaped and she had to force it back in its place.

The class was a lab, as Mr. Molina had said yesterday. They would just be checking slides and identifying the stage of mitosis. Simple enough. It was something she'd done before in Phoenix.

When they were told to start, Edward took the lead, positioning the slide under the microscope. He ducked his head and adjusted the knobs until he said "anaphase" and pulled back. He began writing it on their worksheet, but she touched the microscope.

"Uh, do you mind if I check?" She didn't want him to think she didn't believe him, but she really didn't want to have her name on a sheet with wrong answers.

He looked a bit surprised, his eyebrows reaching for his mussed hair. "Sure," he said, pushing it towards her, seemingly as careful to avoid her hand as she was his.

Looking into the microscope, her instincts were screaming about turning from him, but she tried to ignore them. Of course, the telltale signs of anaphase were there, the chromatids lined up, but being separated from each other.

Bella turned back to him and nodded slightly "Anaphase" she confirmed, and a corner of Edward's mouth lifted. She changed the slide, moving the new one under the microscope, and looked back into it, finding a slightly blurry, but still obvious image of a cell in metaphase. She adjusted the knobs, then looked back up.

"Metaphase" she said plainly.

In a slightly teasing tone, he said "Mind if I check?" and she felt a small smile forming just for him once again. If she wasn't so scared, and wasn't so on edge, she may have outright laughed.

That's how the rest of class continued. She found herself slowly relaxing, as though they were kids again, just quietly doing their tasks while enjoying each other's company. As they finished, Edward checked over their work before signing his name at the top.

He passed the worksheet to her, so she could add hers. In that brief moment, their hands touched, and she felt electricity in their contact. Before she pulled away, her body seemed to categorize everything about the moment. His hand was warm, and though it felt and looked strong, his skin was soft. The gentle smell of his cologne was suddenly at the forefront of her mind, and she tried to disguise her inhale of it as a normal breath.

As the contact broke, he smiled at her. Not like he had felt what she felt, but not like he was upset by it either. Bella forced herself to concentrate, writing her name as neatly as she could next to his. The sight of their names together made her irrationally pleased. It seemed so normal, something that maybe no one else would have even noted, but she did.

It was like its own rebellion; her name next to his. If Phil could have seen it, she would have surely been berated at the least. But here, in a tiny school, on a normal sheet of paper, everything was completely normal.

After class, her better judgment couldn't overpower the urge to stay near Edward. She hadn't seen any cruelty in his eyes. Not even a hint of it. Surely it was too good to be true, that Edward of all people would really and truly be good, but she wanted to take what she could get, in this single moment.

Her better judgment felt much safer as Alice joined them in the hallway. Her arm hooked itself in Bella's and Bella actually spoke to her on their way to the lunch room. It was small talk, mostly just about how Alice was happy that her history teacher had only shown them a video today. Like Edward and Bella's names on their worksheet, this moment felt so overwhelmingly normal, perhaps even right. It was just like when they were kids.

At the cafeteria, Angela met them and again whisked Bella away to their regular table. A part of her wished to sit with the Cullens, but she knew she would probably be pushing her luck too far with that decision, especially since this was only her first day breaking rules.

Bella spoke up at the table more than usual, the momentum of her day only pushing her to be bolder. Angela gave her a sly, and somehow approving look. Bella felt a real smile taking over her face. Her cheeks felt fatigued from the effort of keeping a smile affixed to her face, but it didn't drop.

…

As she hopped in her car after school, Bella wanted to keep up her thrilling, albeit meager, rebellion. She started driving, but when she reached the house, she impulsively made the decision to pass it. She wasn't sure where she was headed, but she couldn't imagine just going back to the house, for fear that she'd fall back into her same rhythms.

It seemed only a peek at what could be for her. She wanted it badly.

She kept driving, making her way onto the highway, heading west and out of town. There was such a rush watching the land pass by her, and seeing the "Leaving Forks" sign made her want to push her truck faster, but any additional pressure on the gas pedal caused a sound from the truck that made her slow back down.

Turning down the window, she let her hand out into the cold air. Her fingers very quickly froze in the rushing air, but she couldn't make herself bring her hand in. Before she knew it, she found herself pulling up to an empty beach.

Bella parked the truck and grabbed the emergency blanket Charlie insisted she kept in the cabin with her. Bella found herself intensely grateful. Though she was discovering that Phil's version of keeping her safe may not be entirely accurate, Charlie's advice was seeming to pay off already.

She left her bag in the truck, but took her phone, making her way down the long winding path to the beach. There were huge fallen trees, made smooth by the years of lapping waves. The tides were low, but the sounds of the waves were still the loudest thing around. Despite the raucous noise, something in her quieted.

Her feet, usually so shaky and unreliable, were now steady as she was pulled closer in wonder. She'd seen the ocean, of course she had, but it had never felt so…. Important. It had always been something that was just in the background of other memories, playing on the beach with her parents, or a forced fishing excursion with Charlie. Now the ocean was the main attraction. The sounds of the waves crashing into the rocky outcroppings made her feel instantly calm, at home.

Bella drew closer to where those tides met smooth rocks that had been there for longer than she had been alive. Longer than Washington had been Washington.

The sounds of the waves and the age of her surroundings brought an unbelievable sense of peace over her. The worries that had long plagued her seemed so far away, so small compared to the enormity of the ocean. There, it didn't matter that she was wicked, it didn't matter what she had done, and what she had the potential to do. The ocean didn't care. At that moment, neither did she.

Far to the left along the beach was a large outcropping with a hole clean through it, showing more beach on the other side. She thought that perhaps she could walk through it, but she couldn't bring herself to leave her spot. The wind and waves made up the breaths of the world moving around her. She subconsciously matched the rhythm with her own slow, deep breaths.

A breeze brushed past Bella, and even though it was cold, her chin rose to meet it, her hair blowing out behind her. She pulled the blanket tighter around her and as the tide came in, the toes of her boots got wet, like the ocean was greeting her.

She turned from it, but didn't have to go too far, as one of the fallen trees was near.

Bella had to jump a bit to climb atop it. She wanted to be closer to the rocks and the water, but she felt herself grow weak, standing there, like the power of the sight before her was something she needed to physically brace against, but she wasn't strong enough. Not yet.

Adjusting into her spot she drew the blanket close, making sure her neck was protected from the biting cold. She let herself take it all in, her mind growing still.

In what felt like only a few minutes, she was shivering, and the sun was starting to creep below the horizon. She hurriedly checked her phone and saw that it was nearly seven. She hadn't realized how long she'd been here. It was as though the waves and she had been talking, the time getting away from them.

It would take her about an hour to get back to Forks, and she felt even more alien. She would be getting home right before the soft curfew that Charlie had given her. He had also said that she could stay out if she let him know, but it seemed like a boundary she would need to test later. When Charlie had initially given her the truck and brought up curfew, she thought for sure that she would never have a reason to be out that late, that there would be no reason to be anywhere that wasn't school, home, or the grocery store. Just two weeks later and she was already a new person, living a new life.

Bella slowly stretched out her legs, cold and stiff, realizing that she hadn't moved in quite some time. After readjusting her grip on the blanket, she made the trek back to her truck, reluctant to say goodbye to the peace she'd found. She promised herself she would be back. She would need warmer clothes, but she would be back.

It wasn't until after, when she was nearly back to Forks, that she realized she hadn't worried about being found. She hadn't kept a portion of her consciousness on the lookout for danger. She had just existed. It was perhaps the most calm she had been since she left Forks at eleven.

…

When she arrived home, it was almost eight. In the long drive, she'd watched the time creeping closer and closer to her curfew, that familiar tension had come back. She wanted to be bad, to test her boundaries, test the reactions of those around her, but she didn't know if she was ready to break a rule. She'd decided that close to curfew was close enough. If it were Phil, utilizing her time before curfew would be bad enough, and would warrant a beating, and perhaps a lesson, if he thought she wasn't remorseful enough.

Bella turned off her truck and took a deep breath. Charlie already knew she was here, and she would get her answer soon enough if she was allowed to use the freedom, he had given her.

Every step from her truck to the front door was forced, but she wouldn't give Charlie the excuse of actually breaking curfew, not yet. If there was a punishment coming, it would only make it worse.

However, in a realization that was slowly becoming familiar to her, she found that Charlie wasn't upset.

"Hey Bells, good to see you home. I had dinner without you, I hope you don't mind." Charlie said to her, his voice calm as he took a sip of his beer. He was in his usual spot, with the usual sounds coming from the TV.

She waited for him to start hounding her about where she'd been, demanding for her to make excuses. But again, Charlie just stayed calm. It seemed he really wasn't bothered.

Since the truck's heater had only sputtered all the way home, the warmth of the kitchen began working to thaw her.

Bella heated up some food and hung around the kitchen until it was ready. She began eating quietly while more and more bold thoughts jumped around her mind.

By the time her plate was empty, she'd recommitted herself to her experimental role as a normal girl. Before she could second guess herself, she went back into the living room and stood before Charlie.

He looked up, seemingly surprised, but said "What's up Bells?"

It was almost funny, the juxtaposition between Charlie and Phil. They both spent their evenings on the couch, drinking beer, and watching baseball, but they were in no way the same.

"Uh, Dad. There's a party on Friday, and I was hoping to go, but it would be after curfew." She held her breath as she watched him react.

He sat forward, setting his beer down and resting his elbows on his knees before looking up at her. "Ok Bella, I'm not stupid."

Her heart stopped. Bella had been waiting for this moment, but now that it was actually here, she found herself heartbroken, even surprised. Charlie sighed and looked at her seriously, making real eye contact for maybe the first time since she'd come back to Forks.

"Bella, you're a teenager, and I understand that. I know being the daughter of a cop might not be easy on your social life, so I'm going to try to give you some room. I won't ask any questions, but I'll let you know her rules, alright?"

She nodded wordlessly, confused about where this was going. It sounded like he was planning on letting her go?

"Do you think you'll drive? Or will someone drive you?" There was a flicker of the familiar. The anger that Phil wore, but the words it accompanied didn't make sense with the context. Phil always wanted every detail of her whereabouts, but with something like this he wouldn't be asking any questions, he would just be berating her for thinking she could go anywhere, that anyone would even want to see her.

With his eyes still trained on her, Bella started, realizing she had to speak. "I think I might drive? I don't know if I will want to be there as long as everyone else," she said timidly.

"Alright, when you come home, you have to wake me up if I'm already asleep. If you don't wake me up, I'll assume you were drunk, and I'll ground you. I'm going to make you take a breathalyzer. If you have any alcohol in your system, and you drive home, you will be grounded until you're 18, and if it's above the limit, I'll take you in myself, do you understand me?" His voice was so stern, it was as close to Phil as he had ever looked.

Under his stare, she couldn't make herself form words. She nodded silently, and he nodded back, apparently satisfied with how seriously she was taking his rules.

He continued "If you find yourself drunk, please please please do not get a ride with anyone unless you know for certain they haven't had a sip. I've seen too many instances where kids thought they were safe to drive their friends, and they all ended up dead. I won't have that happen to you, alright?"

Bella nodded again. There was something in his voice, like he was getting… emotional. Was he really that worried about her getting hurt? She'd been confused about him, if he was like Phil or not. If he somehow really didn't want to hurt her, didn't want her hurt, why would he not just put his foot down? Take her keys and keep her on house arrest?

That's what Angela implied her dad was like, and though she said the rule-breaking could be worth it, Bella didn't even see how she would be breaking any rules, not with the way he was setting these rules out.

"Lastly Bella, if you've had something to drink, and you can't find a safe way home, call me. I'll come, I don't care how late. You won't be in trouble, neither will any of your friends. I'll come in my personal truck, not as a cop." she nodded again, still trying to make sense of what was happening when he got up. She tensed automatically, ready for this to be the moment, but instead of beating her or shouting at her, he hugged her.

"I just want you to be safe, Bells." His arms squeezed her tight, and he let go, holding her at arm's length and just looking at her. She looked back. He had never looked quite so old to her. The gray in his hair seemed lighter, contrasting with his dark brown hair. His eyes, which had small crows feet forming at the corners, seemed a little wet. Before she could examine him too deeply, he let her go, and turned back to his game.

"Alright, well just remember what I said, I hope you have a good time." she nodded at him and grabbed her bag, ready to hide in her room and think for the rest of the night.

"I'll remember, thank you, Dad." And for the first time, the urge to call him Charlie was absent.