The next day, we discussed stratagems. I was still in shock that Sebastian Thor had been a Xeno-lover (in the most literal sense of the term), much to Illric's amusement. Tayber had a map of the planet, and pointed to an area several hundred kilometers from where we were. "This is the front line, as far as I can tell. Other than that? All Orks, save some stragglers."
Well, that sent a chill down my spine. "I see that the information I had was outdated…" I said slowly.
"I'm not a Farseer, Slavhreenur," Illric replied good-naturedly. "I don't have a stick so far up my ass that it can sometimes touch my uvula." Tayber gave him a look, before returning to the map.
Frak. This made it so that the only chance for my remaining on this mortal plain (not survival- I doubt that I could die unless the Emperor smote me as I deserved(1) for being a daemon, or my 'patron' absorbed me). "Staying this far behind enemy lines is suicide. We have to try to make it to the front. I have a duty to my regiment, and to the commissariat." I looked at the empty mug of recaf that was by the map. "And more importantly, that's the only place on the planet that has Tanna, and I'm not dying until I've had some more(2)." The soldiers, and Illric, laughed at that.
"So how do we suppose we get there?"
"We can't walk- we don't have the supplies for twelve people," I pointed out. "We need transportation."
"I know where we can find some- and a tech-priest to maintain them," Tayber promised.
"You do?" I inquired.
"Yes." He pulled out a mapslate, and zoomed it to the street view of a nearby area. "The Mechanicus shrine. It's… it's where they keep prisoners, and their vehicles. I think we can expand our group beyond us twelve, and then head to the front lines."
Great. Civilians. This wasn't going to help. I may have preferred rear guard duties, but dealing with civvies was always a pain. However, telling them that we had to abandon them would not go well. "Then we should try to save them," I offered.
Tayber gave me a look that could only be described as relief. "Yes… we can try that. We need a plan on how to do that…"
"A diversion. Orks hear a loud noise and run towards it. Do you have any explosives?"
"A few," one of the men- Luskins, a rocketeer replied. "One frag, two krak."
"Find the biggest Greenie you can, and drop the frag on it," I instructed. "Then, head to a rendezvous point. Got any good ideas?"
"Here," Tayber answered, pointing to another area.
"Good. Illric? Find a sniper's nest."
"There are promethium tanks scattered about the area too," another trooper- the loader, Jodril, added.
"Then we blow those to cover our escape, once we've taken everything we can," I told them. "And everyone." I imagined, however, that the prisoners would have been executed if the Orks thought they were under attack. A tragic end, but it would put them out of their misery.
The troops nodded, obviously understanding that the best thing we could do for those we couldn't rescue was to give them the Emperor's Peace.
"What about communication?" Tayber asked.
In response, I pointed to the com-bead I had. "We have plenty of spares, so that won't be an issue."
"Good. We'll get in position. We begin at night."
Night came, and the plan began. Jurgen and I were in the buggy, driving towards the main gate, as the teams meant to cause the distraction began to get into position. It was a slow drive, so we didn't break the gate down by accident, and make the Orks think we were trying to ram it. As we got closer, we saw that there was a single Ork on guard duty, with a bucket in his hands. We watched him stick his head in, and we could hear the inhale from here.
"What's he doing?" I whispered to Jurgen.
"No idea, Sir," Jurgen whispered back. As we approached, the Ork set down his bucket, and pointed his crude boltgun at us.
"Halt!" he ordered. We did so. "Youz here for repairs?" he growled.
Jurgen nodded. "Yez," he replied, in the broken Gothic that the Orks would use. "Da Boss of da scavengers got krumped. We got outa dere."
The guard, to my surprise, nodded. "Good call. Most boyz just flail around want'n to be da next boss. Da humiez are smart enough to see that it's a bad idea to scrap like that when we're havin' a right proppa scrap with 'em." This was… strange.
"Whatz in da buket?" Jurgen inquired.
"Oh dat? Datz red paint. Red onez go fasta, so I think, 'what if red paint makes my brain go fasta'(3). So I huff da paint, and I think itz workin!"
"How so?" Jurgen asked.
"Well for starters, I tell da boss dat not all humies can hava scrap- 'specially da smaller onez- and we should leave 'em alone to do humie tings. He ignores me, and den complains dat smaller humies aren't fun to krump. I think I'd be a better boss of da boyz- humies are gud for a scrap, but dey don't like it az much. And it seems it'd be more fun if everyone haz fun," he mused.
A semi-intelligent Ork. The thought filled me with pure dread(4). "Well, wez best be goin'," Jurgen said.
"Gotcha. Oh, and one more fing." He leaned close. "Youz accent needs more work, humie." Before either of us could do anything, he opened the gate, and ran off. We watched run away, sheer shock written all over our faces.
"Red paint?" Illric asked through the com-bead, musing. "I have a feeling that he will be… interesting in the future."With that, Jurgen went through the open gate. As we did, we took in the signs. We saw a bunch of Greenskins gathered around a burning building with sticks with some type of food on them(5), singing something called 'Da Kampfiye song song'(6). We slowly began to move further inwards, towards the vehicle bay. A few Gretchin approached, but Jurgen let out a bellow that caused a few Greenskins to nod in approval, and they left us alone. Soon, we were right near the bay. We wouldn't be able to hide our human forms from the Greenskins once we got out.
"Now," I ordered the troopers. There was a whoosh, and the streaking of a rocket, which hit a Greenskin across the yard. Then, the rapid firing of lasbolts shot out. Jurgen used the butt of his rifle to begin breaking the lock. It wasn't working. "Let me," I told Jurgen, reaching deep within the Warp, and summoning a glow around my hands. They were wreathed in purple fire. I grasped the lock, and within seconds, metal was dripping from between my palms. With a thought, I dispelled the flames, and tapped the amulet. No heat. I wrenched the gate open, with what was definitely NOT normal human strength, and stared at the vehicles with some dread.
"Do you have the civilians?" I called through the combead. In response, I heard a very loud combination of lasfire and bolters.
"We have them," Tayber replied, his smugness clearly translating across the combead.
"Good," I said, lying as easily as I existed. Jurgen and I were inspecting the vehicles for fuel. Some had some, some didn't. "Can we rely on the Orks to keep it full?"
"Maybe… it doesn't hurt to be safe, though," Jurgen replied. I nodded, and we dragged a hose to the fuel tanks, and started to pump the vehicles full of the promethium. I hoped that whatever passed for machine-spirits in the Ork vehicles liked their feast- otherwise, we'd never get out of here. "We have the vehicles! Bring them here!" I ordered. "Illric, meet us after we get away!" I finished the current vehicle's tank off, and moved the hose. Jurgen raced over to the buggy, and brought it closer, so that it'd take less time to get away. After another minute of intense fire, the civilians and soldiers were approaching. I was surprised that the civilians could hold the Ork's weapons, but that was a welcome sight. "Mount up!" I ordered. They did so with gusto. Some of the PDF slid into the driver seats, as Jurgen finished topping off the last vehicle. He then slid into the buggy, and gunned it. We sped across the ruins, where I could see that the men had done a very nice job. The Orks had apparently retreated from the battle, and I would occasionally see a flash of las-fire in the distance- Illric preventing them from regrouping. As we burst through the open gate, I watched until the last vehicle exited the perimeter. "Illric. Take it out."
"Yes, Slavhreenur." And then, I felt the heat on my back. I turned, and watched a mushroom cloud rise high into the air, causing the ground to shake.
"I bet they'll be seeing that in orbit," Jurgen mused. "Well done, sir."
"Thank you, Jurgen," I replied. "Illric? Meet up with us under the cover of darkness. The civvies just escaped Xenos custody."
"A sound stratagem." Then, we drove off, our little convoy well underway.
I had no idea what I had started.
Excerpt from: The Exploits of The Burning Guide(7)- Volume One.
The battle of Perlia was, by the time of the battle at what was once Prosperity Wells, and now known as Cainstead(8), seen as a losing fight. The forces of the Imperial Guard were barely holding on, and the naval battle was just as fraught. While the second Ork force had yet to arrive, and never would, due to the actions of the then-unknown Oathsworn(9) leading them on a merry chase to a waiting Imperial battlefleet, the space battle was still ongoing. It was here that the explosion was registered. At the time, it was seen as insignificant- perhaps an Ork had gotten especially careless. It was only in the coming weeks that the trend was noticed, and that the March of the Liberator had started. The battle was theirs, if they held out for only a little more…
1: Ciaphas has a record among daemons for being the one who, according to a daemonhost, 'Approached the Anathema and lived to tell the tale' the most.
2: After saying this, Jurgen was never without at least one full thermos of Tanna. Never.
3: To all other species, huffing paint fumes is a dangerous activity that can and does kill. Do not do it.
4: Cain didn't know it at the time, but he was speaking to the future Warboss BigThunk. Evidently he and Jurgen made a good impression on him, based on his willingness to ally with humans, and, in his words 'make da scraps more fun'. Interestingly, he has been able to manipulate the Ork WAAAAGH field to absurd degrees, to the point that those killed in the line of battle 'wake up' in their beds the next day, perfectly healthy.
5: The Orks are very unconcerned with cooking fires growing out of control, as seen here.
6: It is believed that this song was once sung by Pre-Imperial humanity, but the origin has yet to be fully determined.
7: A common belief is that Ciaphas Cain is a Living Saint who bursts into holy fire while shepherding souls to the God-Emperor, bringing pain upon himself to serve as a lighthouse for lost souls, and will let no one, not even other saints, delay him from his task. The irony is not lost on anyone with knowledge of Chaos, and Cain's true nature.
8: Normally, a town named after a Daemon Prince, with their True Name in the name, would be burnt to the ground, as the emotions there power said daemon, and could act as a portal to summon them. As this involved Ciaphas, exceptions were made. Ciaphas required a fair amount of exceptions, actually…
9: Oathsworn refers to the Eldar that have sworn fealty to the Imperium, following the Path of Humility. The integration went along startlingly well, even though the paperwork caused far too many cases of carpal tunnel. I was either beloved in the Ordos Xenos for bringing the Eldar to our side officially, or hated for the many, many sleepless months of paperwork needed to create 'Sanctioned Xenos'- Xenos that had earned the right to be seen as citizens of the Imperium.