I've seen a lot, and I do mean a lot, throughout my merry romp through the galaxy. From Orks huffing red paint, to a Necron talking my ear off about some archaeological exhibit about humanity's past(1), to a somewhat annoying if occasionally useful little cult of the Sororitas following me around(2), to fighting for my soul in the Palace of Slaanesh, or even seeing the God-Emperor in the Warp-flesh and then later in the real flesh(3). But a much more mundane oddity was upon this planet; namely the wide thoroughfares of the planetary capital, Mayoh, which I could spy from beyond the spaceport's boundaries. It certainly allowed for an impressive disembarkment as we all lined up in preparation to parade through the streets to our assigned compound. The regiments of the Imperial Guard that had been deployed here were all gathering ten kloms from our staging ground in the industrial sector of the capital, as the brass decided that a nice brisk march would be good for the troops while they oversaw everything and lounged in command vehicles. I could feel the sheer degeneracy emanating from a particular Baneblade in the distance(4).
Broklaw, Divas, Kasteen, and myself were situated in a command Salamander at the head of the 609th, who aside from the drivers were to be marching beside their Chimeras in order to look even more impressive. Kasteen had protested, arguing that she should be with her troops, but the orders were that the officers must look superior then the common troopers to 'preserve the dignity of the Astra Militarum'. I shamelessly took the opportunity to not have to walk all that distance; fiend from the Warp or not, I still could get blisters on my feet. So there the four of us sat, with Jurgen insisting upon being our driver. I'd allowed it under direct orders to him that he was to obey any and all traffic laws as closely as he reasonably could, hoping to spare my fellows from experiencing my aide's regular driving habits. Kasteen and Broklaw were going over a dataslate together, while Divas was looking wistfully towards the Basilisks and towed Earthshaker cannons of another artillery regiment. Illric, meanwhile, was surrounded by swarms of other Eldar attached to other regiments, signing scraps of paper and parchment. Evidently, he truly was somewhat famous among his kind as had been claimed.
Eventually the regiment in front of us (fortunately not the Rough Rider regiment I'd caught a glimpse of as I had no desire to be staring at a horse's ass or driving over what came out of it), started to march and we were given the instructions to begin moving ourselves over the vox. Kasteen stood, hand raised and on the verge of giving the order to move, when she paused and turned to me. "Commissar Cain… This regiment only really exists because of you. Would you like to give the order?" She asked me, giving a bashful but enthusiastic smile. I was touched, truly and genuinely touched by the gesture and the honor she was giving me. This would in essence be the first command given to the 609th as a whole, the first time the new regiment would move as one. It was a special, precious thing considering the pride we'd worked to instill in everyone for our new, combined regiment. And Kasteen, the commanding officer, was giving it to me, who had no true claim to it. As a political officer, I existed outside the chain of command, and thus the only force behind my orders was the ability to put a round in someone if they refused; something which I didn't make much use of out of consideration for my reputation.
I gave her a thankful smile which I didn't have to fake a single bit, making sure to pitch my voice as I responded so that the nearby troopers could hear what I had to say. "Thank you Colonel, for the recognition and the honor. But it wasn't just myself that created the 609th; it was a group effort, and everyone within the regiment should take pride in their contribution to our successful unification." Kasteen stood straighter as did the other officers in the vehicle and the troops that could hear me, pride glimmering in their eyes. I nodded to the redheaded commander, then faced forward and raised my hand. "All troops… MOVE OUT!" I roared with my best Commissarial Bellow, a cheer coming up from the united regiment. There was something amazing seeing the troops move; the simultaneous marching of boots that was once two regiments on the brink of tearing each other apart, with the third caught in the middle. There was not a single sign of that previous division and discontent now as they all, men and women both, marched as one behind the fluttering banner that our standard bearer held high. In my eyes, it was a nearly perfect moment, one I've often looked at fondly.
The thought of our accomplishment in rebuilding the regiment and in our unity sustained me as we marched down towards the city. It was there while going through the wide boulevards that my palms started to itch, causing me to look around in suspicion. Divas noticed, looking over at me with concern.
"Cai?" He asked, softly enough so that our voices didn't carry to the crowds lining the streets or the troopers marching behind us.
"Itchy palms." I told him, quickly and bluntly. That was enough for him to get the gist of the situation. I'd told him before that my palms itch whenever I sensed danger or that something wasn't right; it was how I'd excused my attempt at desertion at the start of my career(5). He nodded, trusting fully in my instincts, and barked out just three letters. "CPI!" Immediately, the former members of the 12th gained wary looks, hands gripping the butts of their lasguns as eyes swept the area for threats or potential dangers.
"CPI?" Kasteen asked my friend, a bewildered look on her face.
"'Cain's Palms Itch.'" Divas explained, as we rolled through the city. "Whenever something is wrong or there's a danger we're unaware of, Cai's palms start itching. Superstitious, maybe, but it's saved us from disaster more than a few times. Not once has it failed us." It was then that I realized why my palms were itching, just what was wrong that my subconscious had noticed before I did; the city's architecture. It looked like the city was made of partly melted wax sculptures, with no right angles. Imperial architecture was very linear and straightforward, with harsh angles and reinforced rockcrete. And although there were still some of those elements to be seen, everything was much more rounded, giving, and spacious. While it was somewhat pleasing to the eye, it was obviously inhuman.
"Illric?" I called to the side where my Eldar companion was juggling and tumbling along with many of the other Eldar to the delight of the civilian crowds. The Ranger ceased his performance and hopped up onto the Salamander in one smooth motion, flashing Kasteen a charming smile before focusing on me. "Please tell me that's Eldar architecture." I begged, pointing at the buildings as we passed them by.
It seemed as if even Illric had been lulled into a false sense of complacency, as he seemed surprised by my request. He took a moment, eyeing the buildings around us carefully as his playfulness faded in favor of the serious and skilled Ranger I had come to rely upon. "No, it's not. It's T'au architecture." He stated firmly with a focused scowl. "We have entered into the Lands of the Naive, Slavhreenur." Personally, this seemed like the Land of Heresy to me; then again, I made wherever I went said land. There were plenty of folks looking out at us in appreciation and cheering, but there were also those who were looking at us with loathing and sneers. I could feel that there was no taint on them, so the Great Enemy of all had not laid a trap here, at least. Then, I saw it and my mouth went dry. Written in Low gothic across what appeared to be a bedsheet, dangling just low enough to brush against anyone riding on horseback, was a makeshift banner angrily declaring in red paint the words 'MURDERERS GO HOME!'
"Heretics!" Jurgen hissed, fingers clenching over the steering wheel. I nodded, hand close to my laspistol but not drawing it as I didn't want to set anyone off. One beautiful woman was staring at us with the sort of venom I reserved for the Dark Whore. Well, she would have been beautiful, had she not been sporting some ridiculous haircut; everything was shaved except for one long, thick braid of hair.
"Go back to your Emperor!" She literally spat at us.
Your Emperor. Such blatant denial of He Upon Terra simultaneously sent heat through my veins even as my heart froze. The troops likewise seemed incensed and taken off guard, beginning to look towards me in order to see what I would do. I raised a hand, and the regiment ground to a halt. Behind us, the other regiments barely avoided crashing into us and each other, yelling complaints and angry questions. I ignored the noise, gesturing to Illric to go back and handle it as I slid down off of the Salamander and strode right up to the shouting woman. There was some fear in her eyes as I approached, but she didn't take a single step back, holding her ground as firmly as some of the finest Guardsmen I've seen have. She seemed fully willing to die for what she said; fortunately for her I had no intention of creating a martyr today.
"He's your Emperor too." I replied softly, tone gentle with only a tiny hint of warning within it. In response, she spat at the ground, barely missing my polished boots.
"What's He ever done for us?" She growled in angry contempt. Well, that was a punch to the guts, as once more she denied Him, the Master of Mankind and the Oathsworn. I could tell that the troopers expected me to shoot her by the way they were eyeing us and unlimbering their weapons in case I needed support, but the fact of the matter was that she undoubtedly had comrades scattered amongst the crowd. Any violence on my behalf could result in a riot that would leave countless civilians and perhaps even some Guardsmen dead. Not to mention what it would do to the morale of the 609th if their first combat action was against unarmed if angry civilians. Finally, such an action, no matter how justified it might seem, would put a lasbolt through my reputation as a even-tempered and reasonable man just as surely as it would put one through her skull. So of course I did what I was best at; I talked.
"The only way the ships that supply this world can travel are by His Light." I replied honestly, trying not to sound like I was lecturing her but rather having a civil debate. I thought back to His radiance, knowing that none could truly glimpse Him and still wonder what the God-Emperor had done for us. This woman spoke out of ignorance and frustration, not malice. "He protects us from what hides in the shadows. If you will not accept Him as protecting your soul…" I saw her eyes rolling mockingly, indicating that she certainly was no Emperor-botherer. "Then at least let His Hammer shield you from the threats nearby."
"The T'au, you mean." She growled, though she held back from spitting at me again.
Smart woman, baiting me into committing to a warlike statement. But I knew that I had to be more careful than that. I looked at Illric, who had returned from relaying the message of what was causing the hold-up, and gave a small smile at my Xeno friend. "I have learned, as has the Imperium as a whole, that Xenos who see His Light do exist. Perhaps the Tau will see it too." I highly doubted it, personally, but it seemed to do the trick for setting the woman before me on the backfoot. Obviously, she wasn't expecting me to outright say that the T'au would be welcome in the Imperium if they wished. I continued, making my point and desire for this not to turn nasty clear. "But if they truly do not mean the world harm, and do not try to take it from The Imperium with force, then I see little reason to waste lives here."
"Life is The Emperor's Currency." She muttered under her breath, eyes growing thoughtful. Evidently she had been to sermons in her life, even if she no longer held to the Ecclesiarchy's teachings. I smiled at her, gentle and genuine which seemed to take her further off guard.
"And to me, those who waste His currency are the worst sort of heretics. I am begging you, ma'am; please do not do something that will make His currency be wasted here." She seemed to get that, nodding in what might have been respect, and I backed away from her and back onto the Salamander. I nodded at her then waved to the column, and we moved onwards once more. The 609th's officers and troopers seemed to equally be in awe of my groxshit speech and how I handled that situation.
"That was impressive, Commissar." Kasteen told me, voice admiring, as we moved on. The glares from the occasional member of the crowd were much less violent now, which was a nice change of pace, though for some reason Illric was giving me a cross look. I turned back to Kasteen, face calm as I explained my reasoning.
"All human lives… No. All Imperial lives have value." I replied with utmost conviction. "And she, despite her hatred, is still a citizen of The Imperium. She is misguided, and those who are misguided can be led back down the path of Righteousness." I declared firmly.
"And what of the humans who have surrendered to the Tau?" Broklaw asked, eyes and voice curious.
That was a trickier question, and it took some time to answer as I gave it the consideration it was due before speaking. "They are still human, and deserve integration back into His Imperium should they prove repentant and willing." I decided, nodding sharply in confirmation of that decision. "And perhaps some even kept the Faith(6)."
"Well said." Illric replied, no longer glaring at me as we continued on towards where we were quartered. Our staging area was within a bunch of empty warehouses. The 609th got to work at setting up our camp, as the other regiments piled in. The Rough Riders were, thankfully, quartered further away, so there wasn't much need to watch where you stepped. Us upper brass got our own quarters naturally, though I also invited Jurgen into his own private area; a small shed that was nearby, so that his snoring wouldn't cause a regiment-wide case of insomnia. Divas, being the gregarious and chatty sort, went to get the rundown from someone else who looked like they'd been stationed here on Gravalax longer than us. He didn't look like he appreciated what he got when he jogged back to me less than an hour later, lips curled into a worried frown.
"The Tau have already made planetfall." He told me as I was putting away the last of my things.
"What?" I whispered in shock. Denying an opponent making landfall was one thing, but dealing with one that was already there and presumably entrenched? That was an entirely different, and far bloodier matter.
Divas seemed to read my mood, nodding grimly. "Yeah. Apparently their forces landed six standard months or so ago. And they've been quartered on the other side of the city. If you believe the bluies propaganda, they're here to 'protect trading interests'. As if." He snorted in cynical disbelief, and for a moment I truly missed him as he was before that damned Khornate Commissar got his heretical hooks into Mostrue. Divas met my eyes, his own dead as he made a dreadful prediction. "They're going to try to annex the planet, Cai. Mark my words."
"They must realize we wouldn't give it up without a fight, right?" I asked, incredulous and holding onto the forlorn hope that we would just have to stand around and not participate in any fighting. Surely the T'au were more reasonable than the bloody Orks or the pre-Joining Eldar, right?
"I'd assume so." Divas said, shrugging but clearly not as hopeful as I. "Wanna go check out the city?" My first thought was 'Frak no'. But if I didn't, he might see my rejection as cowardice, and I didn't really have much to do. Besides, he was my friend and there were worse ways to pass the time than getting a drink with a friend even if such an excursion was doubling up as 'recon'.
"Let's go inspect the damage." I replied, hoping that our little adventure would bring some cheer back to the morose officer.
I didn't even bring Jurgen for this little jaunt, just myself and Divas. We mostly talked shop; general stuff like how he was going to pay me back from my bet before we had arrived at Perlia, and thoughts on the new regiment. I caught glimpses of the old, enthusiastic and bright Divas as he talked about how the 609th had come together. Of course he kept trying to pass the credit onto me, which I humbly deflected, which of course led to him crediting me even more. He was happy having Kasteen and Broklaw as his superior officers, and even had nice things to say about Sulla's handle on logistics. Illric of course he'd already befriended long before we left Perlia, but Divas was slavering like a hunting canid with what he saw as a juicy bit of gossip concerning our resident Ranger.
"Illric has been eyeing up the Colonel somewhat. Like, every chance he has." Divas told me, a mischievous grin on his face and a sparkle in his eye. It seemed like going out, just the two of us as friends, had given him a needed boost in morale already. Still, his statement caught me off guard.
"He has?" I asked, genuinely surprised. Usually I'd easily catch a detail like that, and I hadn't detected even a hint of desire from Illric. Of course out of respect for the Eldar, I did my best to deaden my daemonic senses on him, as he could feel them and it made him uncomfortable having a Slaaneshi daemon poking at him psychically. Now that I thought about it, it would explain why he insisted upon being at meetings he didn't need to attend when Kasteen was there.
Divas nodded eagerly, grinning like a feline that had found the overseer's pet canary in the cream manufactorum. "Yeah! Emperor's truth Cai! He truly seems enamored by her."
"Well, then she can consider herself the second human to peak his interest." I stated dryly, giving a shrug. Even if I hadn't tacitly given my approval to relationships within the regiment when I'd allowed Demara and Tamworth to wed, Illric wasn't yet within the chain of command, acting as an allied advisor so far. And as someone not bound by the Astra Militarum's regulations, he was fully within his rights as an Imperial citizen (Emperor that was still sometimes hard to realize that a vast swathe of the Eldar were loyal Imperial citizens now) to pursue the Colonel. And even if I could stop him, I wouldn't; after nearly a year, I certainly considered Illric a friend and wanted him to have happiness in his life now that he was free of the Whore.
Divas of course caught my little tidbit about there having been someone before Kasteen that had caught Illric's attentions, and eagerly dived right for the morsel I'd hinted at. It was too easy to bait him sometimes. "Oh? Who was the first?"
Too easy. "Apparently Sebastian Thor." I answered, timing my reply with the other man taking a step which caused Divas to stumble, eyes wide in shock. I allowed a pleased smirk to come to my lips, enjoying my friend's feelings of shock, confusion, and curiosity. Divas just stood there staring at me, disbelieving.
"Sebastian Thor. THE Sebastian Thor." He said incredulously in a dazed deadpan tone.
"He called him 'Sebby'." I answered truthfully, smirk wide on my face now. Anyone else would have called me a liar, but Divas trusted me not to outright lie to him. And to be fair, ever since being reunited with him I had been as honest with Divas as I dared to be. He just slowly shook his head from side to side, eyes wide and mouth gaping like a fish.
"What. The. Frak."
Well I could certainly understand that sentiment. "My thoughts exactly, though it did clear up why his journals were redacted in some areas."
"...That also explains his lack of hatred for the Xenos in the quotes we learned." Divas admitted thoughtfully. "Evidently there's a connection between Illric and gathering Saints." He added, chuckling lightly and ruefully shaking his head. Well that cooled my amusement somewhat; while the lie was necessary, I certainly wasn't comfortable impersonating a Saint. I said as much, heavily edited of course, to Divas.
"I don't see myself as a Saint, merely someone who has a job the Emperor gave me." I replied with conviction, making it clear that I didn't actually see myself as a holy figure (quite the opposite of course). It was only when I saw his eyes widen and a look of shocked reverence cover his face that I realized my slip of the tongue.
"He on Terra gave you a task, Cai?" Divas murmured rapturously, which would've caused me to wince at my slip, if not for the fact that my palms had started to itch again. I visibly scratched them as I looked around, which caught Divas' attention.
"Oh no." He whispered, joining me in my vigilance. It didn't take long to discern the cause of my itchy palms, as I noticed that the woman who I had spoken to wasn't the only one with that weird hairstyle. Dozens of people were sporting them as they went through the streets, giving our uniforms slightly cross looks as we passed by.
"What's with the haircut?" I asked Divas, even though I already had a suspicion. My friend confirmed my own thoughts, his theory aligning with mine.
"My guess is it's a sign of allegiance. Those who are so in bed with the Tau that they'd turncoat if this goes hot." Humans fighting on behalf of Xenos against the Imperium… The thought made my blood run cold for a variety of reasons; the obvious heresy for one, but also out of fear for their souls. Outside of the God-Emperor's Light, what would protect them from the Ruinous Powers? I'd become intimately acquainted with what the Dark Gods could do to a person, and wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. As we stepped into a bar, The Eagle's Rest as I recall, I relaxed significantly as at least this bar seemed to be full of loyal servants of the Imperium. The Imperial Aquila was displayed proudly on a flag behind the bar, the walls were plastered with good old Imperial propaganda posters and PDF recruiting posters, and a tune that was popular amongst the Guard was playing. It was a reminder that many on this planet were still loyal, Emperor-fearing folks who deserved our protection; though as long as the Xeno-lovers stayed peaceful, I was content to leave them be and pray for their souls.
We sat at the bar, with the bartender seeming extremely pleased to have a pair of Guardsmen visiting his establishment. He tried to give us a free sample of his finest liquor, but I gently insisted upon paying for it. When you didn't actually have to eat or drink due to feeding off of emotions and misplaced worship, it left a lot of money for luxuries. Besides, it was truly excellent booze and I refused to accept good liquor based on my fraudulent reputation. As we savored our drinks, I chatted with Divas, voice low so as not to be easily overheard. "Did you get anything else?" I asked Divas.
His eyes darted around, making certain the bartender was busy with another patron. "Just one thing." He then, using the small amount of dust on the bar, drew an [.
I looked at the sign of the Inquisition with a mix of shock and horror. "Are… are you sure?" I asked, making sure to keep my voice low despite my terror. A confident nod was his response.
"Positive. The troops are certain that someone from the Order Xenos is here." Divas explained. That was something of a relief. Were the Hereticus or, Emperor forbid, the Malleus here, then that would mean the jig was up.
"Should we be looking out for cyclonic torpedoes?" I asked him, semi-joking(7). God-Emperor, please let it just be a tasteless joke. Please.
Divas' expression was grim as he took another sip of his drink before responding. "If the Tau take the planet, yes. If not… Well, maybe it'll be allowed to continue to exist, in spite of the planetary governor keeping up with the family tradition of letting the Tau run rampant."
"I do hope that regardless of what happens, the planet is not engulfed in fire." A new voice said from right behind us. I spun around, as did most of the bar, and I beheld the T'au that had entered. He was wearing simple clothes, and did not carry himself like a soldier. He had a single braid of hair, which suddenly explained what the sympathizers' own haircut meant.
"Isn't this a bar that's not affiliated with the T'au?" Divas growled, glaring at the bartender.
The bartender shrugged. "O'Ran likes the booze." He said blandly, as the Tau approached. Well, I could certainly appreciate such a pragmatic approach; money was money after all. Sure enough, the blue-skinned alien slid onto a stool and put down some of the local currency. It was then that he noticed the two of us staring at him.
"I apologize, I haven't introduced myself." The Xeno apologized mildly. "O'ran Shui'sassai." He said, inclining his head politely; I noted that his Gothic was excellent, with barely a hint of an accent. Since he was being polite, I decided to return the courtesy.
"Commissar Ciaphas Cain, Valhallan 609th." I replied and waved to my drinking partner. "That's Captain Toren Divas, same regiment."
The T'au nodded. "I apologize for not adding my own title; I'm the ambassador for the T'au Empire." He elaborated, which led to my eyes widening dramatically. "I take it you're surprised." The ambassador replied cheekily.
"Shouldn't you be with… those on your side?" Divas asked, obviously struggling to not say 'heretics'. Obviously the man was taking his cues from me in being polite and respectful, at least as best as he could be.
"This is the best place to get alcohol." Oran replied with a small smile and gentle shrug. Well I couldn't fault him on that, this was the best drink I'd had in a long time. "I see no reason why my coin wouldn't be accepted here."
"And the threat of getting lynched by angry Imperial loyalists?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"Worth it." The T'au answered bluntly and firmly. Huh, maybe I could sympathize with him a little; it seemed that no matter your species, everyone valued good food, good drink, and good company. He continued, mildly explaining why he wasn't too concerned about acts of violence against himself. "And my bodyguard would not approve of this… shall we say… attempt to bridge the cultures, as it were." He took a swig of what was offered, and let out a sigh of relief.
"So… is the end goal to annex the planet?" Divas bluntly asked. Friend or not, I could've smacked him for his lack of tact. Still, I wanted to know the answer to that question as well.
"I can assure you that it isn't. It's over trade, nothing more." The Xeno responded, honestly as far as I could tell.
"What specific trade?" I inquired, curious about what the T'au Empire could value coming out of the Imperium.
"Mostly artifacts that you and your empire deem to be holy." He replied, taking another sip of his drink as Divas and I followed suit. "Your religion has gained quite a bit of ground in our Empire. One of your kind even blessed me in your Emperor's name before I came here; something about protection from the Dark Powers."
While I was happy that the God-Emperor still had His Faithful among the Human inhabitants of the T'au Empire, I found the idea of Him blessing a T'au to be something out of character for Him. Actually, on second thought and considering the Eldar… Oh, hello heretical thoughts.
"I originally thought him superstitious." Oran added, taking another drink. I paused, regarding the alien sitting beside me.
"Thought?" I asked slowly. One of the reasons the Inquisition found the T'au to be naive fools was because of their general disbelief that there were gods out there that wanted to fuck you over.
"I have been to other worlds in your Imperium for similar reasons. When you see reality fold in half and raise your fallen from the dead to scream about collecting your blood and your skull, you learn a thing or two." He said with utmost seriousness, whispering so that no one could overhear us.
"A Tau that isn't naive. Who would've thought?" Divas snarked, but without any bite to it. It seemed as if he'd warmed up to our unexpected drinking companion. Companionable silence reigned between us as the three of us finished our drinks.
"Thank you for your time. I must leave." Oran told us, sliding off of the stool, and heading out. I watched him leave.
"You gonna integrate them too?" Divas asked, elbowing me with a shit-eating grin on his face.
Subvert another Xenos race into wanting to join the Imperium? Emperor I hoped not, especially with an Inquisitor on the planet; I didn't need that sort of attention. Of course I would soon have said Inquisitor's fullest attention, and I can't bring myself to regret having obtained it(8).
Intercepted communications from known Xeno sympathizers upon Gravalax:
"Look, I'm sick of the Imperium too, what with them telling us what to do and everything. But, if they're actually starting to listen and pay us the respect we deserve, then maybe we can give them a second chance so long as they aren't assholes to the T'au."
The Eagle's Rest! Drinks so good, it's worth any risk! - Local advertisement in Mayoh, Capital of Gravalax.
1: I do not know what 'lego' means, but I was informed that many scale models of the ancient wonders of Old Terra were constructed out of them for his exhibit.
2: Cain is referring to the Order of the Pained Saint. The story of their origin appears later in the archive.
3: I consider myself blessed to be alongside Cain when he was granted an audience with the God-Emperor Himself while we were upon Holy Terra.
4: Ironically, the Baneblade Ciaphas mentions, which was being used as an Officer's club at the time, was named 'Purity'.
5: And from this seed, the tree of Imposter Syndrome grew.
6: Not inaccurate. Spies from the Tau's empire have shown that most of them still worshiped the God-Emperor, albeit with less hatred for Xenos that, in their words, 'honor their vows, and protect humans as well as their own'. The irony of such beliefs becoming more accepted in the Imperium at large due to the Sanctioned Xenos is not lost on many. It has become standard practice to spare those humans that defected to Xenos empires as well as, should they request it, Xenos who had done no harm to Humanity, and offer them a position in the Imperium. Had someone told me a decade before I met Ciaphas about this, I'd have assumed them a Hybris at best, and a heretic at worst.
7: Despite popular belief, Inquisitors do not usually lob Exterminatuses for petty reasons. Exterminatus grade weapons are extremely valuable and rare, and destroying an Imperial world deprives the Imperium of resources and manpower. As such an Exterminatus should only be executed in only the most absolutely dire situations. There is an Ordo in the Inquisition that evaluates if the Exterminatus was necessary and worth the cost. If not, the Inquisitor who called it in is declared Excommunicate and hunted down; at least, that's how it works on paper…
8: He's such a charmer.