Kasteen was rushing over to me as soon as the Tau had left, skidding to a halt on the polished and bloody floor next to me. "Commissar! Are you-" She looked, paling as she saw where my uniform had been torn, much of it covered in blood and viscera. But my leg was fine. Untouched. As if it had never been hurt.
"A miracle…" Donali, who had come up beside Kasteen along with other gawkers, whispered. Then he paused, putting a hand to his ear which I suppose in hindsight must have had a commbead in it, before lowering it.
"This wasn't a flight of fancy." He growled, eyes flashing with anger.
"What do you mean?" The Governor, one of those who had wandered over to stare, asked in befuddlement, slowly turning his obese form towards the Imperial diplomat.
"Riots are breaking out across the planet, with rumors that the Tau ambassador was assassinated." Donali reported, sending shivers down my spine. It was a full-blown conspiracy, and in saving O'Ran's life I had found myself firmly in the middle of it.
"T-that's absurd!" The governor protested weakly. "It- it must be a lie! Deception!"
"I'm telling you what I'm hearing, no more and no less!" The diplomat snapped back, obviously frustrated with the worthless noble. "Commissar!" He turned to me, eyes stern. I sprang to attention on instinct, wincing as my bare foot hit the cold tiled floor as I stood from my previously prone position. "What happened?!"
"My palms started to itch." I explained quickly, adding context. "That's how I knew something was about to go wrong."
"The Captain of our regiment has given us his word that it's an accurate sense for potential trouble." Kasteen interjected, backing me up.
"And after some quick thinking, I figured that the only real catastrophe that could happen was an attempt on the ambassador." I continued my explanation with a grateful nod to the Colonel. "So I shoved him to the ground… And then the bolter shot."
"It evidently missed you by The Emperor's Grace." Grice replied with a feeble smile, obviously missing the fact that I was standing in a bloodstained uniform missing a leg from my trousers.
"No." I retorted, pointing to the blood and gore surrounding my boot and what remained of my left leg. "It hit."
"B-but your leg!" The governor whispered, beady eyes wide. I nodded in response as I picked up my boot, grimacing in disgruntlement as my precious foot slid wetly out of it.
"The Emperor has given me the power to heal the wounds of others. Evidently He was graceful enough to provide me the ability to have it spread towards my own wounds." I lied as I put my gore drenched boot back on; better than going about with one foot bare. I was about to ask for a nearby maid to take my severed foot to the incinerator, when a loud explosion sounded from outside. Cursing and giving an instinctive flinch, I put my hand to the combead in my ear and contacted our escort outside. "Report! What's the situation out there?!" I demanded even as Broklaw and Illric joined Kasteen and myself.
"Bad, sir." The head of the troops replied over the sound of secondary explosions and gunfire. "Riots are breaking out against everyone… It's becoming a free-for-all… Wait… Is that the Ambassador?!"
"Contact the regiment and the Guard headquarters and make sure that everyone knows he is alive." I ordered. "That might calm the riots." I turned to Kasteen. "We need to leave." She nodded, and we sprinted to the entrance, Broklaw following close behind me while Illric (for reasons of his own considering he could have easily outpaced all of us) followed closely behind Kasteen. "Jurgen! Get to the front as quickly as possible!" I voxxed. I ended up at the opening of the gate, where I found my honor guard and the Tau guard standing side by side, surrounding O'Ran who looked shocked at the turn of events the evening had taken.
"Report!" I ordered.
"Shit's frakked, sir." The squad leader, Sergeant Lusitg if I recalled correctly, replied crisply. "The PDF is involved in the riots; many of them are picking sides." He put his hand back to his commbead, frown deepening at what he heard on it. "And the governor just declared martial law."
Oh for Throne's sake! We'd just left the imbecile behind a few minutes ago, and he was already making things worse! O'Ran started cursing in his language(1), switching to Low Gothic to concur with my assessment. "That will only inflame the tension!"
"Do you have a way out?" I asked. In response, O'Ran pointed to what seemed to be the wreckage of a skycar, explaining what the explosion must have been from. Likely a missile from some of the conspirators, shooting it out of the sky as it approached to evacuate the ambassador and his group.
"That was our exit plan." He replied in a respectable deadpan. It was then that Jurgen arrived with the transport vehicle, crashing in with his usual lack of grace.
"Sir?" He asked me, eyebrow raised at my current state of dress. I wasted no time for explanations, they could wait for after I'd hopefully unfrakked things.
"O'Ran? Get in." I strongly suggested as I pointed at the transport. "Everyone else? Take positions! It's likely that the assassins are embedded within the PDF!" I slid to the front, as O'Ran buckled himself in between me and Jurgen, with his guards and my men taking their positions in the back. Kasteen and Broklaw crowded into the driver's cabin behind us, while Illric climbed into the back with the troops; I was gratified to see one of them had handed him his sniper rifle, knowing that with Illric properly armed our chances just got a lot better if a fight broke out.
"Directions to your enclave?" I asked the T'au ambassador whose life I'd save not fifteen minutes beforehand. O'Ran powered on what was obviously a mapslate, and handed it to me. I gave it to Jurgen, pointing to where the map showed a symbol obviously denoting the T'au's stronghold.
"Get us there." I ordered, being deliberate to not give any orders aside from that. Wait… I realized that we needed to get there quickly, and potentially while under fire, so I amended my orders to Jurgen, knowing exactly what the words would result in. "By any means necessary(2)."
"Shouldn't we call in our forces?!" One of the T'au in the back shouted through the open window connecting the driver's cabin and the rear compartment, as Jurgen floored it.
"No!" Both myself and O'Ran shouted the denial at the same time, clearly on the same page. The ambassador nodded to me, yielding the floor to my own explanation for why doing what had just been suggested was a monumentally bad idea.
"Why do you think whoever shot down your aircraft did so as it was arriving, rather than after you'd boarded it?!" I explained, quickly putting the pieces together. "They want you to use your forces! It'll lead to mass casualties from the rioters, and start a war for the planet!"
O'Ran nodded. "You are correct, Ciaphas." He said calmly, but with a grim demeanor behind the words.
"You know his name?" Kasteen asked curiously, as Jurgen swerved to avoid a vendor's cart filled with some sort of round green vegetable.
"We met at a bar a while back." I admitted, glancing back at Kasteen with a small smile. I then turned my head back towards the front, smile fading away as I beheld the scene before us. It seemed as if we'd left just in time, as the mob was still focused on the palace. All the better for us, as during such a confused moment of heightened emotions tragedy could all too easily strike. Still, even though we were out of the thick of it, I didn't like what I saw. The entire area was absolutely covered in rioters. Jurgen, thank The Emperor, hadn't run any of them over despite his usual enthusiasm for extreme driving and following my orders. However knew me and my wishes well, along with being a genuinely good-natured sort, so he even slowed down to allow the malcontents filling the streets to get out of the way.
Slowly but surely, we were making our way out of the noble district and onto the next section over. Then, things got worse for us. The Xenoists had obviously taken over this part of the city, judging by the sheer amount of braids I saw illuminated by the truck's headlights and the streetlights above (not to mention the fires beginning to be set all about). Upon seeing an Imperial vehicle, they roared in bloodlust and began to charge. I was about to order the troops to fire above their heads in the hopes of dispersing the mob without spilling the blood of civilians, when a familiar voice rang out.
"WAIT! WAIT!" Sprinting to the front of the Xenoists was the young woman I'd spoken to days ago when we'd first arrived in Mayoh. Evidently she was in charge of the local ruffians, and I thanked the Emperor for granting us the fortune that she was here and had caught a glimpse of me. It seems as though I'd left an impression on her(3) by being willing to talk things out.
"Miss, thank you." I called to her as she approached, opening the door and stepping out to address the crowd, making sure to project my voice clearly without being seen as shouting at them. "Attention, citizens of the Imperium! The rumors of the assassination was just that, a malicious rumor! O'Ran still lives!"
"LIAR!" One of the rioters shouted. Before I could try to convince them, however, O'Ran also exited from the open door of the truck and stood up on the running board so that everyone could get a good look at him. Risky with assassins about, but it seemed to do the trick as the crowd hesitated at the sight of him.
"It is no lie! This human, Ciaphas Cain, saved my life from an assassin's bullet, risking his own! He is an ally of the Greater Good!" He declared, much to my consternation at being reminded of the fact I'd saved someone who was at odds with the Imperium. The rioters paused in shock at the ambassador's words, many turning to me with surprised expressions. As for their leader, she seemed smug, as if she'd been proven right about something.
I spoke again, turning to smile at O'Ran in a show of good faith and appreciation before addressing the crowd once more. "Thank you, ambassador. Now, everybody! We need to get to the Tau's staging area, and get the ambassador back to safety." I explained. Murmurings broke out among the Xenoists, still uncertain about whether they were willing to cooperate with Imperials or not. Of course before they could take too long deciding which way was up, my acquaintance took the reins one more.
"Tell us what to do, Commissar!" The woman called out.
Me? Order a bunch of T'au-loving heretics around? It was a match made in hell. Still, if it made things easier for the moment, I could worry about the implications later. "We need a clear path. Tell your comrades that we're escorting the Ambassador, and that he's alive." I instructed, voice firm and clear. The woman nodded, and parroted my message to her comrades in heresy. The crowd nodded, and raced to get out of our way. With that, Jurgen gunned it again and we were back on our way.
Our luck would run out not five minutes later however, as we approached a roadblock manned by armed figures clad in terracotta colored flak armor over magenta uniforms. Still not the worst or most ridiculous set of fatigues I'd ever seen given out to military forces.
"Loyalists." Jurgen noted, stating the obvious.
"Thank The Emperor." I breathed out. I slid out of the vehicle, and approached the highest ranking PDF trooper I could see, a Lieutenant. He was so young his acne scars were still visible. "Ciaphas Cain, Valhallan 609th. We need you to stand aside."
He shook his head resolutely, pock-marked skin flushed in embarrassment. "Sorry, sir, but I've been ordered to not let anyone pass."
Kasteen slid out from the rear of the truck's cabin, addressing the achingly young officer with an unimpressed look. "You do realize you're talking to a Commissar of the Imperial Guard, right?" She asked in the tone one might use with a particularly dim child(4).
He flushed even brighter, and I could feel his shocked desire as he stared at Kasteen before noting her rank insignia. "Sorry, Ma'am, but orders are orders. Right from the top. We're not to allow anyone through under any circumstances."
Behind him, I could see a crew manning a heavy stubber, and the other PDF troopers fingering their triggers. This was going to turn into a bloodbath, as we needed to get through and they were equally determined to keep us out. And while these days I'd bet on a squad of the 609th against a whole platoon of almost any other Imperial force let alone an inexperienced PDF troop(5), the idea of killing loyal soldiers sat poorly with me. I held my Aquila in my hands, closing my eyes briefly in prayer. "Emperor, give me strength." I whispered under my breath, dipping into the Warp and then pinning the young man with my gaze.
"Lieutenant," I began, feeling the powers of the Warp upon my tongue. "I understand that you have your orders, but right now, what matters the most is that the planet does not slide into warfare. Life is The Emperor's Currency, and I have been entrusted to calm the riots through my deeds, so as to save that currency. I am escorting the Ambassador of the Tau, and taking him and his retinue home. In doing this, I hope to calm the riots, so that no more of the Faithful's blood will be spilt tonight. Please, loyal servant of the Imperium, let us pass."
His eyes glazed over slightly, and he nodded before making a motion of his hand towards the others, waving them away as he himself stepped aside. The guards moved aside just as their Lieutenant did, and Kasteen and I got back into the truck after giving them crisp salutes of respect and gratitude. We were moving along quickly after that.
"Are you sure you're not a diplomat?" O'Ran asked me, a small smile on his lips.
"I'm a Commissar of The Imperium. It's my job to help lead His servants through their trials." I replied, the Aquila slightly warmer in my grasp than it had been before my act of witchcraft. I sent a silent prayer for the young man I'd hypnotized, hoping that he hadn't been tainted by my actions. Then, we arrived at the location of the T'au enclave. The gates were guarded by thousands of Xenoists. However, my orders had been listened to, and they parted like the sea before an ocenagoing vessel; many of them were looking at me with something approaching awe(6).
The gates in front of the rounded walls swung open, and I beheld the might of the T'au for the first time. Dozens of ranks of armored soldiers, standing so perfectly still at attention that it would have made a hardened drill abbot weep with envy. A tank which hovered much like the Eldar's did, with a glowing gun that traversed the vehicle's entire length and more. Flying through the air were dozens of what looked like mechanized dinner plates, most with what were clearly guns attached; I surmised that these were the T'au version of servoskulls. Less organized were roaming packs of Kroot, sniffing the air and glancing over at me with squinted eyes. As some of the armored soldiers approached our vehicle, I saw a large group of what looked like Astartes Dreadnoughts hopping across the obvious mustering field on jet boosters. Those especially caught my attention, as they were streamlined and moved like no Dreadnought I'd ever heard of, with speed and precision while carrying loads of very big guns and missile pods.
"They're battlesuits. Nothing special." O'Ran explained with a slightly smug grin as he noticed my attention. I was suddenly very, very happy that I'd done what I had to prevent a war if these marvels of techno-sorcery which I'm certain Felecia would go spare over were truly considered 'nothing special' by T'au standards. My blue-skinned friend said something to the warriors, who nodded. They said something back to him, which he responded to. Meanwhile, my palms were itching. There was something… off about the warriors. It was their movements. They seemed dazed, as if they'd been drugged(7). As someone forcibly bound to the Dark Goddess of Sex, Drugs, and other forms of Excess, I didn't like that one bit. Soldiers shouldn't need to be drugged to do their duty(8).
"Are your warriors alright?" I inquired, concerned by the juxtaposition of these seemingly highly disciplined troops being intoxicated on duty. One or two, perhaps, but all of those I could sense?
"What do you mean?" O'Ran asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.
"They look like they're drunk." I said hesitantly, holding my hands up as a sign of peace and to show I meant no offense. O'Ran looked at me for a moment, then over to the T'au warriors and asked something else. They replied, and even through the armor I could read what I figured must be confusion and mild outrage in their body language.
"They don't have a clue as to what you're talking about." The ambassador told me, his face showing pure puzzlement. Despite the fact that he probably told half-truths and outright fabrications in the goal of political gain for a living, I believed him. With another nod of thanks, O'Ran and his entourage disembarked from our vehicle and were hustled deeper into the compound, gates sliding shut behind them with a quietness which was uncanny.
"Sir? Should we leave?" Jurgen asked me as I stood staring at the closed gates, palms still itching after encountering what I would later learn were called Fire Warriors.
"Yes, Jurgen." I climbed back into the vehicle, and we departed. The Xenoists nodded their appreciation as we left.
"That all could have gone way worse." Penlan, a trooper who I was pretty sure was cursed by Tzeentch, said happily. You'd think that someone that accident prone and unlucky would know better than to tempt the Dark God of Fate.
Her lasgun misfiring, ricocheting off of a polished window, and striking a glancing blow on her arm, resulted in her giving me a light snack as we returned to base.
The city was in shambles the next day. Smoldering ruins would continue to belch out smoke from where the various rioters had tried their hand at a bit of arson, or where flaming bottles of alcohol mixed with promethium missed their mark while being lobbed at the PDF after martial law had been declared. After we had dropped off the Ambassador, we had managed to make it back without any hassle; the Xenoists cheered us on, and the Loyalists didn't shoot us, so it was simply a casual drive albeit one through what was increasingly turning into a warzone. Thank the Emperor that the Guard hadn't gotten involved, because then the T'au likely would have had to respond in order to protect their supporters, and the war we were all trying to avoid would've broken out. I was exhausted afterwards, and barely managed to shower and put my ruined uniform in a bag for disposal before I collapsed into my bed. So desperate was I for rest, I projected myself into the Warp, suckling on the energies that should have driven me to madness. As I lay there within the realm I was now bound to, I felt a familiar presence.
"I'm not in the mood." I replied evenly, refusing to open my eyes and look at her. "I am tired. I am mentally drained. And I'm trying to pack twelve hours of sleep within a quarter of that time." I explained tersely. To my immense shock, I could sense Slaanesh's avatar just looking at me for a moment before sitting down beside me. It was a little sensual, but much more restrained than I'd become used to from her. I was so stunned that I opened my eyes to stare at her. She just stared right back, with a sensual yet gentle expression on her face. Thrown off balance by my Dark Patron's behavior, I decided to ask a question.
"Why did you help me with dancing, of all things?" I asked quietly. This received a chuckle that made my hair stand on end, only partly out of fear I'm ashamed to admit.
"You represent me. I cannot have my Favored act the fool."
"F-favored?!" I exclaimed, completely flabbergasted and shocked. I knew from the Inquisitor that occasionally subbed for the other teachers in the Schola that those damned souls who followed the Gods of Chaos bitterly fought to get their gods' favor. Usually it involved damning whole sectors. And here was one of the Four Fucks telling me that I was Favored by her, even though I wanted nothing to do with her?! I hoped Emeli was spinning in her nonexistent grave and weeping outraged tears in oblivion; of course I would discover much later that I wasn't so lucky.
"You provided me with the soul I desired most of all, Ciaphas." She whispered, leaning forwards with her arms on either side of her chest, doing marvelous things for her cleavage; I of course kept my eyes on hers, wary of her seductive wiles. Slaanesh just chuckled throatily, staring at me with a knowing smirk. "Oh, how jealous my servants are, that a formerly mortal human who still worships the Anathema has my Favor." She chuckled again at the expression of horror I undoubtedly had on my face. "Did you think that I wouldn't feel you entering His realm?" She asked me coyly, one hand coming up to twirl a strand of hair around her finger. "Though your duel with Celestine has quite enamored you with many here…" I said nothing, refusing to give her the satisfaction of getting another exclamation out of me. "Oh? No reaction?"
"I have seen perfection, and it is not you(9)." I replied evenly, ready for her to smite me. If there was any way to get her incensed and away from me, that would surely be it. Instead, she smiled even wider, like a shark facing an entertaining bit of prey.
"I noticed. A truly beautiful mortal that has captured your attention, dear Ciaphas. Why not consume her soul? Have her for yourself forever…"
"Because then it's not real(10)." I replied, eye twitching and barely keeping myself from decking the literal Goddess of Hedonism in the jaw for suggesting such a thing to me. "It's forced. Cruel. I imagine you'd know a thing or two about that."
There was another chuckle. "I was born out of the fires of the Aeldari Empire's demise, my sweet. I was born from the unquenched lust for emotion of an entire species dedicated to nothing more than the next high. To them, and thus, to me, your definition of cruel is the normal pastime. But you… You interest me, Ciaphas. I will watch your… tamer attempts with amusement. But if you are ever in need of me my dear Prince, do not hesitate to call upon me. I will answer your call… whatever the reason. Oh, and one more thing; happy anniversary, Ciaphas." And with that parting word, she left, leaving me alone in the Warp. After a few more hours of just laying there and absorbing pure Warpstuff, I forced myself back into my mortal body. Jurgen was sitting there in the corner of my room, tanna at the ready.
"Morning, sir." He said with what passed for chipperness from him.
"Did you sleep well, Jurgen?" I asked him, hoping that at least one of us had even if I was properly rejuvenated after embracing the Warp like that.
"Reasonably so, sir." My aide replied, shrugging nonchalantly before freezing me in mid-stretch with his next words. "So, talking to her again?" He asked with not a trace of accusation in his voice.
Slowly, I lowered my outstretched arms, staring blankly at my closest companion, praying I'd heard him wrong. "Her?"
Jurgen just stared at me oddly, as if I was the one not making sense. "You know… Slaanesh?" He clarified, confirming my fears. Thankfully, we were in my private quarters, so no one heard us.
"You… you heard that?" I asked feebly, mouth agape. "How?!"
"I have no idea, sir." Jurgen replied, shrugging carelessly as he handed me my tanna. "She seemed polite, though. I think she might have a crush on you as well, judging by her blushes." He added, sipping his own cup of tanna.
…What the actual hell?! Was Jurgen drunk? But no, he'd never do something like drinking when he considered himself 'on duty'. I normally have great patience for my aide and his quirks, but this was just… I couldn't help but burst out in irritation, snapping a bit at him even if I immediately felt bad about it. "Polite?! Blushes?! Jurgen, what are you frakking talking about?!"
My outburst didn't cause him to be shaken, phlegmatic as Jurgen was. He just sipped at his tanna and explained, even if the explanation still didn't make any karkking sense!
"Well sir, first the Shy Eldar stuttered how she wanted you to look good for some lounge singer, so she helped because she likes you and is cheering you on. Then she thanked you again for 'turning over the big meanie'. She expressed some concern at you taking risks, but understood that you were loyal to someone named 'Rev' and wouldn't hold your choices against you. Of course she was blushing and poking her fingers together as she was saying all this. She said that it was 'cool' how you 'totally went complete action hero on the pretty wing lady', and pouted a bit when you didn't say anything. After that she started blushing even harder, and said you had good taste in women and that she's totally rooting for you. She then got really sad talking about her birth; I think she may have had a poor childhood or something. Then she covered her face and squeaked out that she 'really liked you', and then dashed off while saying she'd be happy to talk sometime over tea."
…Frak it. It was far too early to deal with Jurgen's obvious case of dementia. Perhaps he didn't rest as well as he said and was sleep deprived? Putting the matter out of my mind, I drank my tanna and got ready for a long day ahead.
Excerpt from 'Shrines to the Saint: The Worlds and Marvels of Ciaphas Cain', from Chapter 19, 'The Shrine of Selfless Sacrifice'
While the Path of Reason, where Saint Ciaphas met those who spat upon him and cursed him with compassion and gentle words, is the first site of religious significance for the Cainite Sect upon the world of Gravalax, it pales in comparison to the Shrine of Selfless Sacrifice.
Although referred to as a shrine, it is in reality part of the grandest cathedral upon Gravalax, the Great Cathedral of Saint Ciaphas Cain in the capital city of Mayoh, built upon what was once the Governor's Palace after being properly consecrated. The shrine itself is centered around the spot where Saint Ciaphas fearlessly hurled himself in the path of an assassin's bullet, saving the life of the honored O'Ran Shui'sassai(11) and preventing a needless war between the Imperium and the T'au upon the planet. Though Saint Ciaphas was gravely wounded, and many feared he would go unto the God-Emperor's realm to spend eternity there, by the Emperor's Grace he was healed, with a completely new and fresh limb where the previous had been severed.
The faithful servants of the palace, beholding the miracle, sought to preserve as many signs of it as possible. Rather than clean the holy blood spilt, the Emperor-fearing people of the palace removed the tiles and carpets splattered by Cain's sacred blood, which are now displayed in stasis fields within the shrine. One bold maid hid the Saint's severed foot, left behind in his haste, within her skirts until she could conceal it safely. One tale of this act is that the maid, formerly barren, gave birth to six healthy children(12) in the years since holding the Saint's foot to her stomach and having his blessed blood seep out upon her. This foot, known as the Step of the Saint, is likewise displayed within the shrine but in another miracle, requires no stasis fields as the flesh does not wither or decay, showing just how greatly the God-Emperor's blessing permeates every cell of Saint Ciaphas' being.
It is understood that the Saint committed this act with no expectation of being spared, thus proving his dedication and selflessness. As such the Shrine of Selfless Sacrifice is a popular spot for soldiers of Gravalax about to go out to war in the Imperium's service to pray and meditate upon the Saint's courage, praying not for salvation but to be as selfless as Saint Ciaphas was in the protection of their fellows and the Emperor's subjects. In further accordance with this, the names of those brave soldiers and heroes of Gravalax who have given the last full measure of devotion in saving the lives of Imperial citizens with great acts of gallant service are engraved into the pure marble walls of the shrine. In this manner the Saint watches over their memories and ensures that the valor is not forgotten(13).
1: As a speaker of the Tau dialect, I have elected to remove the honorable ambassador's opinions on Governor Grice's genealogy (which of course we were all way off yet on point), bathing habits, sexual preferences, and general competence.
2: I am getting motion sickness by proxy just from reading the Seven Words You Never Say To Jurgen. O'Ran might just be the most level-headed being ever for not claiming Ciaphas was trying to finish the assassin's work by frightening him to death.
3: Ciaphas does seem to have that effect on almost everyone he meets, both friend and foe.
4: There are many picture books about the Commissariat.
5: I need not remind anyone of the exalted reputation the Valhallan 609th Regiment enjoys in the present day, nor who trained them after Gravalax.
6: Any normal Commissar would have likely ordered them all shot. Ciaphas trying to minimize bloodshed, and the fact he was escorting the Xenos, certainly helped.
7: The Fire Caste of the Tau, being in charge of fighting, are more closely monitored by the Ethereal Caste and are exposed to their superiors' attention more than any other T'au Caste. This is perhaps why Ciaphas was able to detect something strange with them, when he did not sense the same with O'Ran; or perhaps it was in comparing the two that he was able to notice the difference since he was unfamiliar with T'au biology and mannerisms at the time.
8: The Savlar Chem-Dogs would vehemently disagree.
9: Uhm, er… Damnit. He's getting lucky tonight.
10: After I stopped swinging between gibbering panic over a Chaos god advising one of her most favored Daemon Princes to steal my soul and swooning over how Ciaphas essentially told his Patron to bugger off in order to protect me, I was deeply touched by the sentiment. Despite being a consummate con artist and being able to lie as easily as he breathes, Ciaphas seems to value honest and true feelings above almost anything else. This value upon the purity of an emotion and truthful emotional connections might be in part due to his nature as a Daemon Prince of Slaanesh. Still, regardless of its source, it's genuinely touching and just a bit frightening that he feels so strongly for me, especially right after our first meeting.
11: Everyone is well aware of why O'Ran is considered honored within the Imperium.
12: Damnit Slaanesh! I mean it's sweet as I interviewed the lady in question and she was ecstatic about being able to have children finally, but still!
13: This is about the only part of this particular shrine that Ciaphas actually approves of, as he finds it rather morbid how so many people spend their time praying to his severed foot.