That first night within the cell Amberley had arranged for me, I began my journey to the Throne. Exposed and imprisoned or not, I'd sworn to the God-Emperor and myself that I would take on this duty and I would not forsake it. Part of me feared it may be my final trip to the Emperor's divine realm as surely now that I had made the choice of heresy, the Emperor would destroy me for wasting the chance He had given me. Nonetheless, I was resolved to go even if the fluttering of my stomach and anxiousness I felt proved me the coward I'd always known I was(1). I owed it to those who had followed me faithfully, and been denied their reward due to their proximity to me. Though in this case, distance would not have saved them as thanks to unleashing my full power I had so thoroughly tainted Gravalax as a whole that I knew all those who died in the coming days would likely go to me; I could only pray that the corruption faded quickly(2) and that I'd be justly punished before any other souls were damned to my stomach. Which of course left those that were already there.
I could see the souls of those who had followed and watched me, and knew that they had seen what I truly was. That they had all without any doubt felt my true, unobstructed power. Without the filter of the Aquila, there was no hiding my abilities' true origin, not from those already within me. Still, they followed me, most more willingly than a certain other. Even then I couldn't bear to meet their stares, looking away even though here in the Warp I could sense their souls clearly. Demara and Tamworth were there, carrying a little girl; a child who would never be born, would never live and grow. It sickened me that in following my damned self, they had lost something so precious as the life they might have had as a family. Trebek stood by them as we marched, keeping her form between the child-soul and myself. I appreciated the gesture, that she did not blindly trust me and was willing to protect the innocent soul if I turned on them. Kelp was also there, albeit under protest. Some may have wondered why I was taking him to the Golden Throne after he'd forfeited his chance at redemption, but I had no intention of letting the traitor remain within my soul. So he was dragged along in chains, thrashing to get free and looking smug, as if my being a daemon showed absolved him of his own sins. I would let the God-Emperor judge him and sort out the details, lest in my excess of disgust for the man I sinned further by condemning him beyond what he deserved. And as for Sorel, the final casualty of our fireteam? He was off to the side, his las-rifle somehow following him into the thereafter as he scanned the non-existent horizon for threats. Of them all, he was the least phased by the revelation that I was a Daemon Prince. I suppose it was appropriate; he'd been unflappable in life, it was only right that he remain such in death.
Slowly and in the sort of silence that weighed down on a person, we marched through my little corner of the Realm of Slaanesh and towards the distant dot of golden light. Soon, we were amongst the tunnels of golden light, though this time there was no Saint barring my path. Eventually, what I knew was coming occurred, and I became a blazing inferno as holy flame licked away at my corrupt essence. Around me the souls I guided shouted and cried out in shock and fear, so I finally turned my gaze to meet theirs. As they stared at my burning form, I smiled sadly at them.
"Do not cry for me." I croaked out through clenched teeth, the pain almost comforting in how familiar it was by now. "You all know why I burn. That I deserve this. But I swear to you, I will see you through to His side." They quietly nodded, staring at me with conflicted emotions; except Kelp who grinned at my pain and Sorel who still was unphased and just looking at me thoughtfully. Those were the only words passed between us, until finally we reached the Throne. The Emperor was there of course, staring intently down the path I took to reach Him. He looked relieved for some reason when I appeared; perhaps He'd thought I would run from my judgement? The thought had occurred to me, but destruction was preferable to never again being within His Light. With extreme effort, practically wrenching my own ribcage open as I was consumed by the God-Emperor's holy fire, I sent the souls I'd shepherded toward the gates past the Golden Throne into His divine realm.
Trebek looked at me for a moment and nodded before racing into eternity. The small family were next to begin slowly walking toward Him, their daughter held between them. "Commissar… thank you." Demara whispered, tears in her eyes; it was ridiculous of course, they owed me no thanks considering I'd gotten them killed. She and Tamworth saluted me as they went to the afterlife, which I returned in respect for them. Kelp was dragged by wisps of golden energy to kneel grudgingly before the Throne, The Emperor looking at his chained form with scorn. Then for the first time since we'd appeared, He spoke, voice full of constrained wrath and judgement.
THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE NOT CAST INTO THE WARP IS BECAUSE CIAPHAS SAW FIT TO DRAG YOU HERE. FOR HIS SAKE AND HIS ALONE, YOU WILL BE GIVEN A PLACE IN MY REALM. He told Kelp, whose smug look just grew as he sneered at me; it seemed as though he'd be given mercy after all. However the sneer was wiped from Kelp's face when the God-Emperor continued in His Judgement.
HOWEVER, YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE PUNISHMENT, BETRAYER. YOU SHALL NOT FIND PEACE AND REST WITHIN MY REALM, ONLY THE PAIN YOU DESERVE FOR YOUR TREASONOUS ACTIONS. With that, the chains binding Kelp caught fire, burning gold. I could smell charring flesh as he screamed in agony, the chains searing into his flesh. The soul-skin blackened, blistered, and split before healing over the still burning chains. They were part of his body now, burning the man from both without and within. He threw his head back, screaming his anguish, and I saw a brand of golden energy be pressed into his forehead; when it withdrew, the word 'BETRAYER' was both simultaneously burnt and carved there, skin charred but still bloody. Golden fires flickered within the deep cuts going through Kelp's skin and right into the bone of his skull, and boiling blood dribbled from the inscribed letters into his eyes. With a shudder, I realized the severity of this part of the punishment; with his arms chained to his sides as they were, Kelp couldn't reach up to wipe the burning hot blood from his eyes. Thus he would be blinded save for what little blood he could shake free or blink away. He would forevermore rely on the kindness of others, hoping they took pity on him and relieved his suffering for a time. And with the God-Emperor's burning judgement upon him, there would be few who spared Kelp anything more than contempt. With that, the bound and screaming figure was dragged past the Golden Throne to suffer for eternity. Though even then, the Emperor's punishment was Just and nothing compared to what the Dark Gods would have done to the soul of one who'd so displeased them.
With a shudder and a prayer that when the Emperor judged me He would grant me the peace of oblivion, I put the treacherous Guardsman out of my mind. And that just left Sorel. Sorel… wasn't moving. He was just standing there, staring straight ahead with his long-las held casually across his shoulders and not taking a single step towards the Throne.
"Sorel, go to Him." I ordered. He just gave my burning features a deadpan look and spoke one word.
"No."
That brought me up short. "No?" The frak did he mean, 'no'?! I was telling him to be at rest, safe within the God-Emperor's holy domain! Why would he refuse that?!
My confused exasperation must have been visible even past the flames covering my face, because the sniper shook his head and explained. "No. I'm staying with you, Commissar." He declared, face resolute.
WHAT. THE. FRAK?! Was he trying to get the God-Emperor to smite me HARDER by giving the appearance that I was holding souls back from Him?! I mean yes, I was, but those of Xenos and traitors, not those of the faithful! "Sorel, please."
"I'm staying, Sir." He stated with firm and unwavering conviction. "I don't care what I saw. I don't care what I heard. You risked everything to keep the regiment safe. You gave me a chance when no one would. I'm not leaving you."
I was about to object that he wasn't thinking straight and was about to try and force him into the golden realm, when His Holy Majesty's soft yet booming words brought me to a halt. CIAPHAS… LET HIM STAY.
I nodded in obedience and stepped back, bowing my head before the He On Terra as Sorel faded back into me. There was silence save from the sounds of my flesh burning, and I awaited His judgement with my head bowed. After a moment, He spoke once more, words ringing with authority.
YOU ARE NOT DAMNED.
"W-what?" I croaked, daring to look up at the Master of Mankind; the fires still blazing across me seemed to say otherwise.
He stared at me, and even if I weren't in the Immaterium His burning gaze would have seen straight through my soul. I KNOW THAT IS HOW YOU FEEL, THAT BY REMOVING THE AQUILA, YOU DAMNED YOURSELF. IT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.
"B-but… m-my Emperor-" I began, trying to figure out how to respectfully tell Him that He must be mistaken. Again, His words cut me off as he stared at me with what almost looked like… Pride? No, obviously the flames flickering before my eyes were causing me to see things.
YOU PUT IT BACK ON. He said simply, as if that was all that needed to be spoken on the matter.
"I… I did." I agreed hesitantly, stammering in confusion. "W-why does that matter?"
His divine voice took on the tone of a Schola tutor, one of the kinder sort that believed there were better ways to motivate their students than giving them a jab with an electro-prod. IT MATTERS BECAUSE YOU HAD A CHOICE. THAT PRIEST THAT EXEMPLIFIES WHAT WORSHIP SHOULD BE, FATHER ANTHONY, SAID IT CLEARLY. DAMNATION REQUIRES A CHOICE. YOU CHOSE TO STEP AWAY FROM IT. YOU COULD HAVE FREED YOURSELF FROM MY SERVICE. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS TELEPORT AWAY. CULTS WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU ANYTHING YOU WANTED. YOU CAN REMAIN IN THE MATERIUM INDEFINITELY. BUT YOU CHOSE TO TAKE THE AQUILA AGAIN. YOU CHOSE TO TAKE THE HARD PATH.
I flushed at the praise my God was giving me, but I could not bear to be less than honest with Him; I may lie and deceive others, but the Emperor Himself? Never. "B-but I w-was tempted-"
His voice, though powerful still, became gentle and soothing as He continued to speak with me, no doubt His unworthiest servant. WE ARE ALL TEMPTED, CIAPHAS. AND SOME OF US FAIL. SOME OF US TAKE THE EASY PATH. MYSELF INCLUDED.
I had begun to bow my head again to accept His wisdom, but it shot back up in shock as my wide eyes met His. "W-what? N-no! Y-you are flawless-"
I FAILED BEYOND MEASURE! The God-Emperor shouted, silencing my protests. I SHOULD HAVE TOLD MY SONS OF THE DANGER! THE ENTIRE REBELLION RESTED ON MY FAILURES! EVERY WOUND YOU SEE IS A WOUND I DESERVED FOR MY CALLOUSNESS, FOR MY FAILURES TO CARE FOR MY CHILDREN. EVERY SECOND I SPEND IN AGONY IS PAYMENT FOR MY SINS. I AM NOT FLAWLESS, CIAPHAS. WHAT YOU DID IN GIVING UP NIGH-UNLIMITED POWER IS SOMETHING VERY FEW HAVE EVER DONE.
Here He paused, eyes distant and pondering before He continued. ALSO… IN REGARDS TO YOUR NEXT INEVITABLE QUESTION; HAD YOU SLAIN AMBERLEY VAIL, I WOULD HAVE FORGIVEN IT. WHAT IS YOUR FATE SO FAR?
I gulped, uncomprehending at the God-Emperor's words and judgement. They made no sense! Still, I was a loyal if unworthy subject, and would heed His Will. Obediently, I conveyed what was occurring to my mortal form. "I… I surrendered myself to the Inquisition, my Emperor. I await trial… And undoubtedly, a rightfully guilty verdict."
NO.
The single word echoed with thunder, as hard and unyielding as adamantium.
"What?" I whispered, still uncomprehending how the God-Emperor could judge any of my actions to be justified.
YOU WILL NOT BE GUILTY. I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.
His words rang with command, demanding that reality itself be rewritten to His wishes. Then His tone once more softened as he addressed the soul He'd entrusted to me. AND SOREL? TAKE CARE OF HIM. HE'LL NEED IT. With that, He said no more, and I returned to my body.
That was not the only trip I made to the Golden Throne while in captivity. Much as I'd guessed, currently at least all the souls of those slain upon the planet were going to me. And though I'd destroyed the Genestealers and the Cultists that were too far gone on Gravalax, the chaos they'd caused still led to conflict as Xenoists and Loyalists clashed. Each side accused the other of secretly being Genestealers along with other grievances. It was only by the combined intervention of the Imperial Guard and the T'au (who had apparently had their own internal struggles after I'd freed them) that things didn't escalate to all-out civil war. Still there were skirmishes across the planet, and with them deaths. Each one, Loyalist and Xeno-lover alike, I guided through the Warp to the Golden throne, though I was so exhausted and worn by the multiple trips that I didn't have a chance to speak with the God-Emperor again. I just bowed, dropped off the new arrivals, and returned to my body; I couldn't spend time recovering in the realm of Slaanesh, lest Amberley's Psykers detect it and report to her.
It was after one such journey, about a week and a half after I'd removed the Aquila, that I came back to my body to find Jurgen standing nearby my cage, looking at me with concern on his face.
"What… what're you doing here, Jurgen?" I asked him, coughing roughly from the battering my body and soul were taking from the repeated trips into the Emperor's realm.
Jurgen smoothed out his expression of concern, taking on his usual blase attitude as he shrugged. "The Inquisitor put me in charge of keeping you contained, sir,. Kind of silly, if you ask me."
Well yes, Jurgen being my warden was rather silly as I'd just have to order him and he'd let me go, but it still made sense considering his status as a Blank. Even if I'd already shown that Jurgen's ability didn't affect me, it wasn't like Amberley had any better options; and oh how I longed to see her even if it was in an interrogation room, but I feared that she was avoiding me. "What is, Jurgen? You keeping me contained?"
He just shook his scruffy, unwashed head. "You needing to be contained, sir."
Oh great, it was going to be one of THOSE conversations where I stated the obvious and Jurgen looked at me as though I'd said something daft. "I'm a Daemon, Jurgen. A walking bundle of Heresy."
Again he shook his head. "That shouldn't matter. You serve Him on Terra. That's the only thing that counts." Jurgen then turned to the door, and Amberley entered the room as she stared at a message slate bearing the symbol of the Astropaths. Whatever the message said, judging by her troubled expression it couldn't be good.
"Leave us, Jurgen." She ordered absentmindedly. After glancing over and getting a nod from me, he did so, leaving Amberley and I alone.
I looked up from my place of containment, a cell made out of metal blessed by a priest. The priest was a greedy bastard who was only in it for the money, so the bars had no faith in them and were worthless for keeping me from getting out. But I didn't leave it. I wanted to show that I was not trying to kill her or possess the crew. Thankfully, the planet had not been subject to Exterminatus so far; the knowledge that I'd damned so many would likely send me spiraling into madness. "Well?" I asked, rubbing my fingers over the Aquila I always wore. Amberley had made a collar connected to the cell walls which held it in place, keeping me from removing the Aquila once more. I could have easily broken it; frak, the trouble I had in sleeping was making sure I didn't accidentally bust the collar open as I slumbered!
"The Ordo Hereticus is sending a representative." She told me, voice and eyes cold.
The Hereticus? For a manifested Daemon Prince? "Wouldn't the Ordo Malleus be the more appropriate Ordo?" I inquired curiously.
She glared at me and bit out her next words. "With how long you have spent among these men and women, tests for heresy must be conducted."
My blood ran cold, and since I had the Aquila on it could still run cold. "Leave them out of this." I begged. "They know nothing."
"Jurgen knew." Amberley replied frostily, and I realized that Jurgen probably WOULD have just straight up told her if she'd asked. I'd told him and the others to cooperate after all. "And so did Illric." For some reason her eye twitched when mentioning the Eldar.
"Just them. Only they know of my true nature." I amended, continuing to plead for the safety and well-being of the 609th. "Please, Inquisitor Vail, leave the others out of this." The idea that they would know of my damned self was horrifying beyond all words, but seeing them subjected to the tender mercies of the Hereticus was even worse.
Amberley just stared at me, face unyielding before she whispered just loudly enough for me to hear. "A daemon does not plead unless it is trying to hide something." She let out an exhausted sigh, and for the first time I noticed how tired and worn down she appeared. "I had thought that the Heretecus was overreacting, but it appears I was wrong." She said, striding out of the room.
For the briefest of moments, I wondered if I should snap the chains and lunge for her, but I knew that wouldn't do any good. I would have to plead my troops' innocence to the Inquisitor that was coming. For the sake of the regiment, I would agree to almost anything, even allowing myself to be banished. Let the 609th's last look at their Commissar be my upholding my reputation for looking out for them.
The Rogue Trader vessel never entered the Warp while we waited, rather staying moored above Gravalax. I imagine this decision was so that I was not empowered by being within the Warp, though obviously that couldn't stop me as while I avoided resting within the Realm of Slaanesh, I was still able to make my appointed trips to the Golden Throne to ferry the souls of those who died in the intermittent fighting down on the planet below. I disguised the moments of focus these journeys took as times of contemplation and prayer, always clutching the Aquila like a lifeline. As for the goings on of the ship and the 609th, Illric would be by frequently to fill me and Jurgen in. In spite of his knowing and his divided loyalties, Amberley had indeed placed my very own aide in charge of my confinement, as the only Blank she had lying around; I think it showed how unprepared and desperate she was in this unanticipated situation. Illric was acting as the liaison for the regiment, and the only one allowed to have any contact with me. Every time the Eldar came to the room where my cell was, his message was the same; the troops were getting antsy and continued to reject the things they were being told about me. It seemed like I'd really made an impression on them in a short time, but I was certain that they'd soon realize I wasn't worth their efforts and get over it. When I told Illric that, he laughed in my face for some reason. I also instructed him to tell the 609th from me that I was fine with waiting, and they shouldn't worry(3).
As I'd already said, I spent most of my time leaving my body, and ferrying the souls of those who had the misfortune to die near me which of course in this case covered the entire star system. It also helped to make me look more ragged and less of a threat; I was still fed and was not mistreated, on the off chance I was 'merely' an unsanctioned Psyker with delusions of grandeur. Finally, not quite a week after she'd gotten that message which had concerned her so, Amberley strode into my improvised cell with a squad of the 609th following behind her; Sulla was there, in charge of the squad and she did not look at all happy to be there. Amberley had a key, and opened the cage before gesturing to the squad. Four of the troopers grabbed the device that held me in place, hooking long metal poles to it while the others reluctantly kept me covered with their weapons. Honestly I was a little disappointed in Amberley, as she'd seen firsthand that lasfire did nothing to me; perhaps she thought that while I was bound it would be more effective? Unfortunately, the troopers pushed too hard while adjusting the manipulator poles, and the collar snapped around my neck before falling to the floor. There was stunned silence for several seconds as everybody stared at me, and I let out a sigh.
"For the record: Yes, I could have done that at any time." I told Amberley, admittedly finding her aghast face hilarious and not a little bit adorable.
"Anything else you would like to declare?" She got out through the sound of her teeth grinding, still trying to get over the shock that the collar meant to contain me had failed so spectacularly.
Again I sighed and decided to come clean. "Yes. Your priest was unfaithful and greedy, with not a jot of true faith within him." I replied, casually proving it by bending the bars and stepping through to stand in front of the shocked Inquisitor. I could see her mind racing, trying to see what angle I was playing. Unfortunately for her, her mental gymnastics were in vain as for once I didn't have an angle or any plan, I was completely genuine in my cooperation which is something she couldn't bring herself to believe.
Amberley stood trembling, glaring at my face with a rage that could set a biosphere ablaze. "You… you could have escaped at any time… What are you planning, monster?" The troopers gave her a look of malice, and as one they dropped the poles and lowered their weapons with no attempt by their leader to reprimand them. I knew where that was going, and like the good Commissar that I wasn't, I decided to nip that in the bud.
"Don't." I ordered them, the soldiers shuffling in embarrassment at my tone. Sulla looked at me in an almost pleading way.
"But sir…"
"It will only make things worse." I told her with a sad yet comforting smile. I also broke the other bindings upon me, demonstrating that whatever happened next I was a completely willing participant; plus I suppose if this was to be one of my last acts as a Commissar before being declared a heretic and traitor, I should at least attempt to show the dignity my office was due. Turning once more to Amberley who was giving a slightly nervous look at my soldiers, I nodded obediently as I stood at parade rest. "I will come quietly. Please lead on to wherever you're taking me."
With a curt nod, Amberley did so. She grabbed the back of my commisarial garb and began to drag me towards the landing bay we'd entered the ship by weeks ago. I imagined that she had planned on trying to humiliate me, or to present me in chains; quite ironic, since she tends to like being tied up most of the time when we're together(4). Part of me was sorry to disappoint her, but I was tired of playing a charade. As we approached the hanger, I began to feel it. Faith. Whoever was coming was deeply faithful to Him on Terra, zealously so and with an intensity that I could feel from here. I began to sweat a little as we marched onwards to our meeting with the other Inquisitor.
"Feeling fear now, daemon?" Amberley hissed into my ear, keeping it at a whisper as we finally arrived. By now, it was like I was standing next to Father Anthony in the middle of his chapel again, and the shuttle was only just landing on the opposite end of the bay. I stumbled, wishing to bask in the faith, as if it would cleanse my damned soul. Amberley kept her strong grip on me, holding my arms behind me like a vice; something I would do to her many times in our association(5). My legs gave out, and I collapsed to my knees, bringing Amberley down with me slightly and leaving her pushing my arms down against my back. By now, the troops were watching in concern, Sulla's squad joined by the rest of the company in the hangar acting as an obvious honor guard. Gently I wrestled my arms from Amberley's grip, and raised my hands in prayer as I began to mumble my thanks to the God-Emperor and repeating litanies of faithfulness as the shuttle doors opened. I expected someone in garish robes, looking like a walking jewelry store, or a stern faced zealot in ornate power armor.
I did not expect what I saw. Oh, there was a perfectly fine aquila with an embedded Inquisitorial Rosette around his neck, showing both his faith and that he was an Inquisitor, but that was the only speck of gold on him. He wore a simple brown cloak, which showed many signs of good usage yet care. His face was resolute as I'd expected, yet his eyes spoke of a kindness hidden within. As he walked, I could see that he wore the clothes of a commoner underneath the nondescript cloak. The sight left me greatly confused. Was he back from an infiltration perhaps, much like Amberley had been when I first met her? Behind him, two of the Emperor's Angels strode. They must have been from the same Chapter, though one I was unfamiliar with at the time. Their armor was a garish yellow, the color of mustard. One of them turned to speak with his Battle-Brother, and I caught sight of their insignia, a red heart with a tear surrounded by a checkerboard pattern. I wondered if they were here to execute the regiment, and prayed that wasn't the case as even just two Astartes could cut a swathe through even a well-trained Guard force like the 609th without heavy weapon support; something difficult to do in the confines of a voidship. Finally, the Inquisitor reached me, and I couldn't help but be impressed by his immaculately trimmed beard and closely shaven head. The look gave him the appearance of a monk, which was reinforced by the stooped little scribe following him. But again, it was the blazing inferno of Faith and Devotion within him that left the greatest impression. It was almost like I was back in the God-Emperor's presence, so strong was his faith. Tears of joy fell from my eyes as I stared up into his stoic face.
"Lord Inquisitor Karamazov." Amberley said, a hint of nervousness in her voice. "I apologize for the lack of chains."
"There is no need, Miss Vail(6)." The man said in a respectful manner, giving her a small smile before looking back at me and what was around my neck. He still stared at me even as he addressed the troopers surrounding us. "Soldiers of the Imperium, please leave us." He requested, and it indeed was a request, rather than a politely worded order; should they have refused, I had a feeling that this 'Karmazov' would've just grinned in amusement rather than have them gunned down. Silently I waved the company off, and though they grumbled the troops began to leave their positions; to my horror and shame, I saw that more than one had drawn beads on the Astartes, ready to lay down their lives to protect me. Normally I'd have appreciated the gesture, but I didn't want them to die for me in this particular battle. Upon the door closing, Karamazov looked down on me with… sadness? Not fear, hate, or anger… but sadness?
"Why do you cry, Daemon?" He asked me, voice soft and gentle. Again I was reminded of Father Anthony, and had the thought that this Lord Inquisitor would've made a good priest. If he'd been the one blessing my cage, then there's no way I could've broken free.
"Your Faith of He On Terra… It's so beautiful…" I whispered in reverent awe. "It… it's the most powerful I've ever felt…" I made the sign of the Aquila, which caused the Inquisitor to blink slowly in surprise.
"How can you make that sign?" He asked me, not in outrage but out of genuine curiosity. It felt like we were having a civil chat, and if all his interrogations went like this then I imagined he had many confessing every sin they'd ever committed to him and honestly feeling better for it(7).
"I serve the God-Emperor. Even though I was damned, I will still continue to serve Him." I replied honestly. Amberley looked down at me with enraged disgust; obviously she thought I was lying, and took offense at a literal daemon claiming loyalty to the Master of Mankind (and the Oathsworn). Karamazov, however, looked contemplative.
"How long have you been a daemon?" He asked me softly, startling Amberley who'd never once asked that question. I suppose she'd thought that I'd always been a daemon masquerading about as a Commissar, rather than the reverse.
"Since Slawkenberg." I answered, again with the utmost sincerity. "I gave that Whore the Darkstone to save the planet… But she damned me in response."
Karamazov looked up, stroking his beard and occasionally his moustache. "So you were damned trying to save a world from falling to Chaos, and in turn created a system where the touch of Chaos is totally extinguished…" I nodded at his musings, confirming his thoughts as he stared once more at my neck. "What is this Aquila you wear, and why does it not burn you?"
"It… it's my prison, Lord Inquisitor." I explained, honestly feeling better for getting all of this off of my chest. "As long as I wear it, my damned power is restrained, and I… I feel human. Please… please don't remove it." Fresh tears glittered in my eyes as I begged to keep my one tie to my tattered humanity, to remain in the safety of the prison which I carried with me wherever I went.
The Lord Inquisitor let out a hum, the hunched scribe I noted earlier behind him taking notes. "A Daemon that clings to humanity… How interesting. Tell me, are you truly the Burning Guide?"
"I… what?" I asked, flummoxed by the question. For once, I couldn't answer him. The frak was the Burning Guide? Seeing my confusion, Karamazov just smiled and gently explained.
"The Astropaths, Navigators, and Psykers have all spoken of a guide for those who are lost in the Warp over the past months; a soul that ignites itself to attract the souls of the wrongly-damned, so as to guide them to the God-Emperor's realm."
"What are you talking about?" Amberley asked, face adorably scrunched up in confusion as I stared up at the Lord Inquisitor in shock at what I'd just heard.
"I… I can be seen in the Warp when my blasphemous form gets close to the God-Emperor?" I whispered, stunned that my journeys to the Golden Throne through the Immaterium had been noticed since that first jaunt through the Warp back on Perlia. He nodded, confirming that this was the case before going on with the interrogation.
"I detect no lies from you, so I suppose you are indeed the Burning Guide." Karamazov stated firmly. "Tell me, Daemon… Why do you let yourself be burned in His cleansing fire?"
Stammering, I tried to put my oath and feelings on the matter into words for the first time. "I refuse to let anyone be damned because of me. Two of my men were damned the day I became… this. I… I thought that the God-Emperor came to take them… but I couldn't be sure. Why would He speak to me, a Daemon Prince? So I decided that I'd take the souls of those who died near me to Him myself, no matter the cost." I said that part with conviction, as if daring him to accuse me of heresy. While I may have been a daemon and it pained me greatly to carry it out, I would never, EVER have any regrets for that self-imposed duty. To my surprise, the Inquisitor sniffled, the glistening of tears in his eyes.
"You can't be serious." Amberley deadpanned. Karamazov just turned to her and solemnly shook his head.
"I detect no lies. I'm not a Psyker, but I know heresy when I see it(8)." Karamazov declared. "That is why I was sent here; to sniff out heresy… And possibly to get rid of me if the situation really were so dangerous as your message indicated. And despite Commissar Cain's presence, I can sense none."
"How?" Amberley whispered, as deeply shocked as I was. "He's… he's a Daemon Prince! A Prince so powerful he nearly opened a second Eye of Terror!"
"Why did he?" Karamazov asked her, voice gently chiding.
"...He… he wanted to wipe out the Tyranids…" Amberley admitted grudgingly.
"There are those in our organization that would have seen a second Eye of Terror as a worthy price to pay to destroy the Tyrannids completely." Karamazov pointed out reasonably. "And he gave us the Oathsworn Eldar."
"That… was tacked on. I still don't know why." I admitted sheepishly.
"So you accidentally turned one of the most annoying Xenos species into extremely zealous allies?" Karamazov drolled out, an amused grin causing his mustache to bristle playfully.
"I… I just wanted to save myself from getting my soul dragged into that Ascension ritual." I told him honestly. At this, the kindly old man was gone and the stern and commanding Lord Inquisitor was back as Karamazov's eyes bored into my very soul.
"Tell me about this ritual." He ordered sternly. So I did. As I went deeper and deeper into the descriptions, for how could I ever forget the place and moment where I lost my humanity, he grew paler and paler. When I finally concluded my tale with waking up in the Salamander, Karmazov gravely turned to Amberley.
"Miss Vail?"
Amberley licked her seemingly dry lips, awaiting Karamazov's judgement and equally shaken by my descriptions. "Yes, Lord Inquisitor?"
"I'm tempted to just declare him innocent right now."
There was a long pause from both of us.
"What?" I squeaked out.
"What?!" She exclaimed in incredulity.
"What he described would have wiped out half of the planet, and created a continent-sized warp portal which would have put at least the entire sector, if not the sectors around it, into imminent peril of becoming a permanent realspace realm of Slaanesh. And on top of that, possibly igniting a Black Crusade where we would be totally unprepared." He explained grimly, causing both Amberley and I to grow pale at the scenario he was describing. "And he stopped it, by having that energy apparently go to not only making that entire system an oasis in the Warp that's so apparent that it can be used within two thousand light-years as a guiding point even if the Astronomicon ever went out, but also tying the souls of the Oathsworn Eldar to the God-Emperor. That alone has caused the number of needed sacrifices to the Golden Throne to drop by a significant margin, and it keeps getting lower(9)! And after hearing of Slawkenberg I not only inspected it, but upon hearing of a source of potent holy water I checked the planet of Perlia! There is absolutely zero taint anywhere on the planet! And they're literally worshiping him as a Saint there! There's innocence, and then there's… whatever he is. I will still be conducting an inspection personally of the troops, but if they're anything like Perlia… We have something we've never seen before on our hands, a Daemon Prince that serves The Emperor."
Amberley's eyes went wide, the implications beginning to hit. Karamazov's voice was a whisper, eyes sparkling with possibilities.
"You see it, don't you? He's obviously able to maintain a physical form indefinitely! We know how powerful even the least favored Princes are, and he must be incredibly Favored to have survived despite coming into The Emperor's Realm repeatedly as well as the sheer amount of power he has displayed!"
Now Amberley was nodding, looking at me not with scorn but what might have been a wistful and fragile hope. "By The Emperor… You have a point, Lord Karamazov. But, what if it's a long con?"
At this Karamazov nearly scoffed. "Were his patron Tzeentch, I may have been worried about that. But after what he's done, unless the payoff is to create a daemon on the level of Be'lakor or higher, which is a threat all of its own to the Ruinous Powers, then this is genuine."
I was stunned at what they were saying, but Lord Karamazov's next words chilled me even with my being able to sense what sort of man he was. "Still, I have to do my due diligence. The 609th regiment will have to be questioned and interrogated thoroughly."
God-Emperor no. As loyal as the 609th had been shown to be to me, they would no doubt protest, stall, and obstruct any investigations the Inquisition conducted while I was still held captive. Because they didn't know the truth, just what they thought was the truth. And the Inquisition's patience would only last so long if the regiment dragged their heels too much in regards to me. There was only one thing I could do. I raised my head, wetting my lips as I addressed the man who would decide my fate. "My Lord, I beg a favor of you."
Karamazov just arched a bushy brow, staring at me mildly. "I'm listening."
Within the hour, I was standing on a small stage erected in a sealed and private hangar bay. Behind me were the Inquisitors and their retinues, as well as an entire squad of the Astartes which I had learned were called Lamenters. Before me were the gathered forces of the entire 609th Regiment, down to the lowliest cook, with the officers in the front row. Illric, Felecia, and Jurgen were there also, standing beside Kasteen, Broklaw, and Divas respectively. All their eyes were on me, and there were some eager grins, no doubt expecting me to say that the Inquisition was letting me go and this had all been a big mistake. God-Emperor, how I hated to disappoint them.
Clearing my throat, I stepped forward towards the edge of the stage, overlooking the crowd of Valhallans looking up at me with adoration. Only Illric and Jurgen were composed; I met the former's eyes, and I think he gleaned my intentions as he gave me a nod before bowing his head. Then I began.
"Soldiers of the Imperium. Men and women of the Valhallan 609th Regiment." I licked dry lips, then admitted to my racing feelings. "My comrades, my friends." There was a whooping cheer at that, with the crowd breaking into applause which I silenced with a raised hand. Emperor help me, it was hard enough to order my emotions sufficiently to continue without interruptions. I barreled on, knowing that if I didn't continue I'd choke up and back away from the challenge before me.
"As all of you know, I have been in the care of His Imperial Majesty's Most Holy Inquisition." Some of the more foolhardy began to boo, which I quickly waved down. "You've no doubt heard many things in the time I've been imprisoned away from you. People have no doubt called me many things; traitor and heretic. Well that is false. But you've no doubt heard me called other things. False-Saint. Deceiver. Witch. Daemon." I looked at the members of what had been the 12th Valhallan Artillery Regiment, those who had suffered under Mostrue's hatred for me. "Coward. Deserter." I breathed in, watching them all eagerly waiting for me to laugh off these charges.
"These are all true."
Silence, then pandemonium as they all began shouting, telling me to stop joking or yelling at the Inquisitors for threatening me into a false confession. Again I raised my hand and they settled down, although discontented mutterings were still softly being uttered between the bewildered troops. Best to make use of it while I still had their respect; God-Emperor knew I wouldn't have it once this confession was done.
"On Desolotia, it was my first posting, my first engagement. I wasn't scouting for the Tyranids; I ran. I was afraid and I ran, something I'd been trained to shoot people for. It was only by chance and the Emperor's Will that I ran into those flanking Tyranids and ran back to the regiment to warn them. Even saving Jurgen was in my own self-centered interests, as I'd noticed that if I kept running I'd go straight into a Hive Tyrant. So I turned back and saved Jurgen. Mostrue was a fool, but he wasn't entirely wrong about me; the only time he was wrong concerning my nature was when he called me a good man."
The hangar was so silent you could hear a pin drop, and I closed my eyes, unwilling to look the regiment in the eyes. "For this act of cowardice which I passed off as a scouting mission to avoid getting shot, I was called a hero. I continued to serve with the 12th, doing my duties while trying not to get myself killed. And then came Slawkenberg. The members of the 12th remember how Mulenz and Grear were killed while on assignment with me, how Jurgen called in an artillery barrage on a cultist lair we'd stumbled upon. What you don't know was that they'd completed their goal, that they'd already finished a ritual which would have damned half the planet and forced the Inquisition to Exterminatus the rest. I was there in a failed attempt to stop it, and in a cowardly move to save my own skin, I bargained with one of the Ruinous Powers. The result was that the planet was saved, and the war there was ended, as well as the Eldar being given the chance to swear their Oaths to the Emperor and Imperium in exchange for salvation."
I chuckled bitterly, looking down and opening my eyes to look at the Aquila I was idly handling. "Salvation, that's what they call me. What a crock. Because when I bargained for the planet, for the system, for the souls of the Eldar, I forgot to bargain for my own soul. It amused the Dark Goddess I made the deal with to give me what the cult leader wanted; ascension into a Daemon Prince. To become a pawn of the Four Fucks; don't worry if you don't fully understand what I'm talking about, I've asked Lord Karamazov to explain after I've said my piece. Naturally I wanted no part of it, since despite my many faults I'm loyal to the God-Emperor, but the pain and torture as I was changed was so bad. Fortunately I was knocked out before I gave in, keeping my soul my own, and the Emperor Himself…" At this I held the Aquila aloft. "Gifted this to me in order to contain my fell power, to keep me human and contained. I could take it off, but as long as I wore it my taint was contained, imprisoned. This is my salvation, my prison, and I love Him On Terra dearly for it, even if He said I wasn't worth saving in comparison to keeping the Astronomican running and watching over the Imperium."
Still I couldn't bear to look them in the eyes, proving my cowardice. "That's where my powers come from, not any Sainthood. When I heal others, I take away and consume their pain, returning them to perfect health. When in the Warp, daemons can't penetrate the Gellar Field because I won't let them and they fear me. When I ferry souls to the Golden Throne, I burn within the Emperor's realm because it rejects me totally and seeks to unmake me. I'd have stayed kneeling before Him until I was no more that first trip, but He commanded otherwise. He says I can still be of use to Him; dear God-Emperor I hope so, I hope this wretched existence has some small worth, some use in His plans. Constantly I pray, praying that my corruption doesn't pass off onto others. That the Emperor's protection sealing my nature is sufficient to spare those I'm around. And so far by His grace and mercy it has. For I cannot bear the thought of damning loyal servants of the Master of Mankind and the Oathsworn simply because they got too close to me."
Finally I raised my head to look them in the eyes, and I gulped as the whole of the 609th stood in the sealed off hangar, watching me with shock and confusion. No anger yet, so I'd best bull through. "I'm not a Saint, not a hero, not even a good man. I'm a karkking Daemon Prince for Throne's sake..." Here I paused to make the sign of the Aquila, praying that I'd get through to the men and women who'd been willing to attack Astartes on my behalf.
"I... I still serve He on Terra, that much is true. And I carry out the duties He gives me. But everything else... Ciaphas Cain as you know him... Is a lie." I wept, openly and honestly; partly in relief at finally being able to let the lie die, to be honest with those who trusted me out of ignorance for my true nature. I looked up, and while I still saw no angry looks amongst the crowd of shocked faces, many were also crying. I assumed they were tears of anger from their feelings of betrayal, as my own emotions were so racing and confused that I couldn't sense theirs. I breathed in, steadying myself, and made my final plea.
"There you have it, the truth behind your Commissar, the man you've followed. Coward, liar, cheat, and an unwilling fount of heresy. So I implore you... don't sacrifice yourselves for me. Cooperate fully with the Inquisition. Do not protest whatever fate they find fitting for me. Do not damn yourselves for someone as worthless as me." By now there wasn't a single dry eye in the assembly, and I bowed my head in shame at the tears they shed at my betrayal. Emperor forgive me, I would miss them all.
With that, I let Karamazov's Astartes guards lead me away; the doors closed as the first cries rose from the 609th, too quickly to make them out, but no doubt they were decrying me as the fraud I was. Good, that would protect them better than I could now(10)
From the private journal of Lady General Jenit Sulla, classified as beyond top secret and sealed by order of the Inquisition
"When the Commissar got on that stage, my heart swelled with relief. Surely he would dispel these rumors and proclaim his innocence. But he didn't, instead he confirmed them. At first I was shocked, and felt rage and betrayal creeping over my senses as I thought that everything had been a sick lie. But as he stood there tearing into himself, laying all his perceived failings bare, that feeling was replaced with empathy. I didn't see a Daemon Prince, a Saint, or even a Commissar before me, but a man, a man as full of doubts and fears as any other. A man who in spite of the weight of those doubts and fears had served the Emperor and served Him well. When Cain began to weep, I wept too. I wept at the depths of his faith and devotion, of his willingness to sacrifice himself, and the self-hatred he held for himself over very human flaws. Once again, I was humbled at the sheer depth of character Ciaphas Cain possessed, and I'm proud to say that mine was one of the first voices raised in his support."
1: Ciaphas, despite his intelligence, seems to conflate courage as being without fear, rather than overcoming it. As such, he doesn't realize how brave he really is.
2: It did, thank the Emperor. Before the end of the second week after the event known as 'The Unveiling' (both to those in and not in the know about Cain, considering the situation with the T'au), Ciaphas' influence had been greatly reduced. Though as we know, there were lingering effects that made Gravalax invaluable to the Imperium's efforts.
3: In fact, it was only by the messages from Cain passed on by Illric that the 609th didn't stage an outright mutiny to free Ciaphas.
4: I have no idea as to what Ciaphas is referring to here.
5: Again, I have no idea why he is saying this. None whatsoever. Though I will note that Ciaphas' biomancy is always handy to have at hand.
6: Lord Inquisitor Karmazov uses Mr. and Miss/Mrs. for those that he doesn't know all too well, regardless of their position and titles. This is part of his philosophy of all Imperial Citizens being equal in the eyes of the God-Emperor, showing each equal respect regardless of social standing. He will use proper titles if asked to in order to be polite and respectful, however. Once he gets to know you, he tends to be informal and prefers to use first names.
7: Amazingly enough, this is the case more often than not for Lord Karamazov, with his gentle questions getting answers where even an excruciator wouldn't. Of course, if he thinks that torture is absolutely necessary without any doubt or question, he will still do it, and as I've seen it's made all the more terrifying by how apologetic and tearful he is during the process. Hardened heretics have broken down begging for forgiveness as Karamazov wept over them; perhaps his tears getting into their open wounds had something to do with it?
8: While not a Psyker, Karamazov has been blessed with the ability to determine if someone is lying to him with 100% accuracy, manifesting to him as a 'smell' of heresy or deceit. And as Ciaphas has stated, his faith is so strong it creates a Warp bubble not too dissimilar to a Blank in terms of giving daemons immense pain and causing fear in heretics. Though he refuses to use it as a surefire sign, so that those afraid of an Inquisitor are not falsely accused of heresy. One more sign of why Karamazov is considered a maverick within the Inquisition.
9: Due to the number of Eldar that The Emperor can pull energy from, the number of sacrifices needed to fuel Him fell by 66% (DAMMIT SLAANESH!) within a standard year of The Bargain being struck.
10: In fact, the entire 609th, moved to tears by the sheer honesty and self-flagellating pain within Ciaphas' confession (I'll admit to shedding a few tears myself), was busily proclaiming Cain's innocence and good nature, chanting things such as "Daemon or no he's still the Commissar!", "Let him go!", and "Stand with Cain!", amongst other things.