Inquisitorial Incident Report GVLX 237- CC 6

Incident Reporter: F. Jurgen, Gunner First Class, Valhallan 609th Regiment, POI A2

Interviewer: A. Vail, Inquisitor, Ordo Xenos

Incident: Intruder Alert

Summary: F. Jurgen encountered an unauthorized presence near the room containing Temporary Holding Cell A1, where C. Cain, POI A1, is currently incarcerated pending conclusion of investigation into all Persons Of Interest. F. Jurgen in his role as a guard of POI A1. despite being a Person Of Interest himself, promptly reported the encounter to A. Vail as per regulations. A. Vail interviewed F. Jurgen in depth as to the nature of the encounter and unauthorized presence.

Transcript of F. Jurgen's testimony:

Well, I'd just had my break and was walking back to where you were holding the Commissar. Completely unnecessary in my opinion, miss. I mean if he had been meaning to spread heresy, he'd have already done so for one. And for another, he's the Commissar. Stopping it is his job. Granted, the 12th apparently had one that worshiped Khorne after he and I got separated from the regiment for a bit. Nasty business that, from what I heard. Still Commissar Cain doesn't need a guard or any of this stuff if you ask me, but you're the Inquisitor so I suppose you know best what's proper here.

Anyways, like I was saying, I was walking back to the cell when I caught the sight of a young Eldar woman in pajamas that I will say clung quite nicely to her figure, like something out of one of those 'innocent young virgin' slates. Hmmm? What sort of slates am I talking about? Pornoslates Miss Vail, would you like to see my current one? I have it right here. Oh, so you're right, miss, duty first. Back to the young Eldar woman in the pajamas. They had strange feline creatures upon them. The pajamas that is, not the young lady in question. The woman was staring at the door where the Commissar was being kept. She seemed nervous, and was biting her lower lip while she kept staring with an odd look on her face. Since she didn't look like a threat, I approached her to let her know she wasn't supposed to be here.

"Ma'am? You're in a restricted area." I said calmly and politely. A civilian could have gotten lost, right? Or maybe she was one of the Trader's crew? I'm sure that since the Commissar helped out the Eldar, a bunch of them had joined with Traders and the like. "Can you please leave?" I stated firmly, but still politely. The woman whirled around in shock, and it was an Eldar sure enough; a very familiar Eldar.

"U-Uhhh… P-please don't report me…" She stammered, seemingly flustered and with her ears drooping. She looked really sad when she was speaking to me for some reason; I suppose she might have been embarrassed at getting caught or something. Or maybe that's just how the Shy Eldar is. Hmmm? The Shy Eldar? That's what I call the young lady that talked with the Commissar on Slawkenberg, right before he became a Daemon Prince. I think he called her Slaanesh…

Miss Vail? Are you alright? You look pale. Well, I suppose I'll keep giving you my report while you recover your wits, ma'am. Like I said, the Shy Eldar had just asked me not to report her. She was so polite about it, almost tearful, as if she was expecting me to say something weird in response. I felt bad for her, but I know my duty and told her as much.

"Ma'am, I have a duty to report all intrusions." I said kindly. Figuring that maybe I could take the sting out of things and concerned that she might be cold wandering about the ship in her nightclothes, I asked her about them. "Though I must say that you don't seem to be wearing the propper apparel. What kind of feline are those?"

The Shy Eldar didn't seem to hear me at first, just sighing unhappily. "Great… Now what- wait… wait wait wait. What did you just say?" She whispered, looking at me with wide eyes as if I'd said something strange. So I decided to repeat myself, since she must have misheard me.

"What kind of feline is printed on your pajamas? They look rather fluffy, but I'm unfamiliar with the breed." I repeated myself.

"You… you can see them?!" She somehow managed to whisper and shout at the same time. Maybe it's an Eldar thing? But regardless I certainly did see them. Perhaps she thought the lighting was bad and that would make the patterns hard to see? So I confirmed her question.

"Yes."

That seemed to stun and confuse her, though what she asked next didn't make much sense. I went along with it though. "A-and… n-n-not some weird fetish outfit?"

"Some might qualify pajamas as such." I replied. Certainly wandering about a strange ship in places you weren't supposed to be in your nightwear wasn't very appropriate. So I thought to take her away from where she could be seen by any passing crew. "How about I take you back to my quarters, miss?"

"Oh… okay…" She seemed to droop as she said that, so I gave her a pat on the back and reassured her that I didn't have anything improper in mind.

"Nothing to worry about. The area is restricted, but I doubt you'll get in trouble. I'll whip up a pot of tanna for you." I said cheerfully, leading her to my room, where I got busy making tea. "Any preferences?" I asked her, as a good host should.

"Can I have sugar?" The Shy Eldar asked hopefully.

Now Inquisitor, I'm a Valhallan, and we take our tea seriously. So of course I had sugar and all the appropriate supplies handy. "One cube or two?"

"T-two is good…" She seemed nervous still, so I tried to set her mind at ease.

"Ma'am, there's no reason to be frightened. I doubt I could do anything to you even if I did have bad intentions." I again assured her, stirring the tea as I did so. I set down one cup for her, and one for me. She took a sip, ears twitching as she got a taste of good Valhallan tanna.

"That's… really good." She said politely, pleasing me as the Commissar is one of the few offworlders that truly appreciate tanna. She took another sip, smiling but with a small grimace. "A bit bitter…"

"Tanna is quite bitter, that's part of it's charm." I helpfully explained.

"Can I have some more sugar, please?" The Shy Eldar requested. I suppose she liked her sweets. Next time I have her for tea, I'll have to be sure to have cookies and confections for her. Now I didn't want to be a bad or pushy host, but I didn't think more sugar would be appropriate just then.

"Well, if your dress attire tells me of your next plan, then it may not be a good idea. Sugar could prevent you from going to bed at a reasonable time." I explained politely. At this, the woman broke down crying. Needless to say I was alarmed; I didn't know she was THAT fond of sugar! "Miss, I'm sorry, but it's against my judgment that-"

"You can see me for me! You can hear me for me!" She cried out, her face obviously one of confused joy as she looked at me. "How?! Please, tell me!"

I'll admit I don't have pretty ladies asking me questions, but it seemed to mean a lot to her to know and I didn't see how it could hurt anything. "Well, were I to guess, it's because I'm apparently a void in the Warp. A Blank, the Inquisitor called it." Miss Slaanesh seemed to pause and then slammed her head against the table, sending the tea set rattling.

"Of course!" She moaned in what seemed to be frustration with herself, as if she was feeling a bit slow. "Of course someone who deadens the Warp would be able to see through the glamor!"

"Glamor?" I asked, as that bit seemed like it could maybe be important.

The Shy Eldar… I mean Miss Slaanesh, got really upset at this as she explained it to me. "The… the other three… They power a glamor around me… S-showing me as s-some harlot from a bad pornoslate!" Slaanesh complained. I could understand why that would upset her, as nice girls like Miss Slaanesh shouldn't be forced to be in pornoslates, just willing and professional actors. She just kept on going, getting things off of her chest as I listened. "No one except Cegorach could see me for who I really am! And no one believed him! It's only been for a few days that Rev's finally seen me for me!"

"Who is Rev, anyways?" I asked curiously. I know that this Cegorach fellow is the Eldar's Clown God according to Illric, but I was unfamiliar with one named 'Rev'. Maybe they were the god of chainswords? Or at least that's what I was thinking at the time.

Miss Slaanesh seemed to get embarrassed and wistful at that. "Ummm… your God-Emperor? W-we were friends before I became…" She motioned to herself. I made the sign of the Aquila of course, as is proper at the mention of His holy name.

"Truly?" I asked, eager to hear more. I've learned a lot about the God-Emperor since Slawkenberg where He gave the Commissar His gift, Miss Vail. I like learning about Him. When I asked that, at first Miss Slaanesh got really excited but then she quickly became sad.

"Oh yeah! It's… it's been hell these last ten thousand years. Hearing Him yell at me, thinking I'm… that thing. But He couldn't see through it, not until just now." I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, as it seemed like she could use it. "Thank you…" She sniffled gratefully. I pulled out a handkerchief from my pocket and she looked at it oddly before shrugging and using it to blow her nose. Curious about other things, I decided it'd be alright if I asked her.

"So do you want to date the Commissar?" I asked. This caused her to go as red as an Ork buggy.

"H-how did you know that?!" Well that confirmed that… Hmmm? What's with that odd look on your face Miss Vail? Did you eat a bad hot grox bun or something? Continue on? A you wish, Inquisitor.

Anyway, I answered her question about how I'd figured out she was interested in the Commissar. "Well, the last time you two talked, I saw it. When you were talking about your birth… Did you have a poor childhood, miss?" I really was concerned about that; if she'd been mistreated, it'd only be right to help her out.

Miss Slaanesh just stared at me and blushed more. "Y-you can hear that?"

I just nodded, letting her know that I could then asking another question as it seemed fair to do so. "I can. Who's Mr. Whiskers?"

She smiled a bit and poked her fingers together shyly as she told me. "That's… that's my stuffed Grynx. That's the species of cat on my pajamas by the way… My brother gave it to me when I was still mortal."

"Your brother?" I inquired. Maybe I'd been wrong and her family, or at least her brother, was an alright sort after all.

"Y-yeah… Eldrad Ulthran…" There was a flash of purple like when the Commissar does his Warpcraft, and a fluffy plush feline appeared in her arms, which she squeezed happily. Hmmm? Are you sure you're alright Miss Vail? You looked shocked when I mentioned that name for some reason. Just keep going? Of course ma'am, though maybe a bit of tea and a nap would do you good after this.

I thought a bit, but the name didn't sound familiar to me. "I'm not sure I know him."

Miss Slaanesh got really animated when talking about her brother. "He… he's one of the greatest Eldar to live. I'm sure that the Inquisitor knows him."

"She works with Xenos. I'm sure she does." I replied, as we drank our tea. If you do know Mister Eldrad Inquisitor, could you let him know his sister seems to miss him a lot? Family is important after all. Anyway we finished our tea, and Miss Slaanesh gave a little yawn. I may not have had siblings or anything like that, but I've learned to take care of the Commissar since that's my job. "Well, I think you should head back to bed soon, miss." I told her kindly. She let out another rather adorable yawn.

"Y-yeah…" With a wave of her hand, she created an open door covered with glitter, and stepped inside. I followed, which seemed to cause her some surprise. "H-how…"

"I went through the door," I explained slowly. Perhaps she was more tired than I'd thought. She just looked at me, confused, and asked a single worded question.

"Why?"

"I wanted to make sure that you managed to get to your bed." I explained as I looked around the house. It looked quite juvenile, but it felt quite homey. She went up the stairs, and I followed. I saw that her bed was messy, so I immediately started to clean her room which surprised her again.

"W-what're you…"

"I'm cleaning your room, miss." I explained. People seem so slow sometimes. But again, I suppose she was tired and not at her best.

"T-thank you… b-but you don't have to…" She got out, before sliding into bed. I paused from my picking up of some scattered toys to walk over and tuck her in. "A-are you tucking me in?" Miss Slaanesh squeaked, eyes wide.

"Yes." I replied, setting the covers together. I didn't know if she was capable, since she seemed quite slow, or at least tired. After I got her settled in, I left through the front door, and appeared back in my own room. I thought she was quite nice, once you get to know her. Miss Vail, is your face okay? My mother said that if you make a face like that for long enough, it gets stuck…

End Transcript.

Interviewer thoughts: WHAT. THE. FRAK?!

Fyodor chuckled as he went over the report amongst Inquisitor Vail's notes. This Mister Jurgen seemed to be quite a character. He'd enjoy meeting the man during his talks with the members of the 609th Regiment. He was about halfway through his interviews, with the men and women of the regiment being exceedingly helpful as Commissar Cain had asked while continuing to proclaim the Daemon Prince's virtues. And despite that, he hadn't come across a whiff of heresy or taint. Well, from Cain anyway.

His brows furrowed as he frowned, amusement dying as he thought more deeply about this incident. Miss Vail seemed to believe it was a trick. But Fyodor wasn't so certain. He'd encountered illusions and deceits from the Ruinous Powers before, and they could be devastating. The thought of Three of the Four forcing such upon their youngest member… It made his hands clench. If what Jurgen saw and reported was accurate, was the truth, then it seemed like there was another innocent that required protection from the Dark Gods. And Fyodor Karamazov would do all within his mortal power to see the innocent saved, whoever they may be.